Is Your Relationship Viable For the Long-Term or Will it be Short-Lived?

[allina]

Story checks out. I say viable.

 

One final question. How enthusiastic has he been about marrying you? Has he ever expressed doubts or reluctance, and was he the one to first broach the marriage subject?

 

This is sort of hard to explain. When we moved in together, after dating for only 7 months, we did so knowing we would get married one day. We didn't straight out talk about it but we knew. About a year after living together he started bringing it up and we've had many discussions on the topic. Now he's excited about it, says we can elope now if I want He has never expressed any reluctance abut getting married, he's expressed nothing but desire and joy when it comes to marrying me. I was never one of those "when are we going to get married?!?!?!" types. Maybe if I kept asking him about it before he was ready he would have been reluctant.

[Britney23]

I am very curious to see what you will say about my relationship, but I can probably guess, considering your view on couples in their 20s...

 

I am 21, he's 23. We've been together for just over a year.

This my first serious relationship, my longest relationship prior to this was 6 months. He has had a serious relationship lasting about 4 and half years. We both talk about our exes in a good light, and dont have negative things to say. Both of our parents are divorced, but all 4 of them are now with their 'soulmates'.

 

We live an hour and a half apart but I stay at his house about 5 nights a week because he lives closer to my college, friends, work, etc. He has said that I can move in but I havent yet because he lives with his friend and its his friends place and I dont think he likes the idea of me moving in.

 

We have talked about buying a house together at the end of the year when i finish college. We both want 2 kids but not for another 10-15 years! We both want to get married someday. We have talked as if we are going to be together for the long-term, but never actually said that we will get married to each other. once he said "when we get married" but quickly changed that to "if we get married", but marriage isnt that important to me at the moment.

 

We tell each other we love each other all the time and we mean it.

He's really affectionate, caring. We spend quite a lot of time together in the evenings and at least one night and full day together on the weekend. We both have a good balance with still going out with our friends and maintaining our independence. He gets along with my friends and family well. We trust each other... i think i covered everything.

[chrissylee]

The best part of our relationship I would say is that I can depend on him to be there for me for anything and I am there for him.

 

I would change the fact that he seems to think that pushing the trash down is the same as taking it out.

I would also change the fact that we never really seem to go out to do anything anymore. We mostly hang out together at home. Which is fine most of the time, but I would like to still go somewhere together once a month or so.

 

 

 

The whole time we have been together we have never had one fight about money. We share the bills, food, and living expenses. Whatever we have left over we spend on whatever we like.

 

We both seem to be on the same page with sex for the most part as well.

He does seem to be in the mood a little more then I am sometimes. It is mostly when I am having cramps or sleeping though when this happens.

 

 

I think you missed my next post touche. So what is your opinion on my relationship?

[youknowmyname]

The question contained in this story is whether I should interpret the tender moments in her behavior as (not deviously on her part) simply enjoying my attention and not wanting to cut that off--given that people can show real affection yet not be interested in a relationship--or whether her tenderness, even though she withdraws from it later, is a positive sign. If there is no chance for a relationship, then I would definitely pull away from her (stop asking her out), and put my energies into someone else.

 

 

---Sorry if this is long--I hope I addressed the right facts.

 

(This takes place from late November '08 to today)

 

Her and I are both reasonably attractive, intelligent people with good career prospects--point being that we could find someone else if wanted to.

 

I'm in the same grad program with this girl, we're both almost 30. December of 2008 we wound up in a couple of situations where we were alone together at a bar; we talked a lot (hours) over drinks--very casual because I never really "asked her out." We would also see each other in a group of mutual friends as well.

 

Towards the end of December there was more subtle flirting, I invited her and her friend visiting from out of town to come out to a club with friends of mine--but this invitation, unlike the others, I think made clear that I really wanted to see her. She came, we had one of those "club moments" where the two of you are standing a little too close together to be completely platonic, and we continued to build upon that connection. I asked her to coffee, she came--again, good conversation, mutual values, rapport, humor, and some shyness that comes with knowing this is more romantic than just a casual encounter with friends. Over a three-week X-mas break we texted each other once, emailed once.

 

The moment we got back from X-mas break in early January, I asked her out a couple of times, about three dates in she invited me to stay over at her place. It was really.... a romantic type of encounter (not a friends with benefits type of situation) EVEN though she said that this is just what it is, a hook up--I said "great." We woke up, went to the beach, and our conversation began to take on that future-oriented tone. And we hooked up again a few days later; again, tender and affectionate, and again, we made clear that there were no expectations.

 

I interpreted it as the beginnings of something; clearly much to soon for an actual, exclusive relationship by any measure. But near the end of January she asked me out to coffee--which at the time I thought was a step forward since I would usually initiate every meeting--and she made clear we were just "seeing each other," which was explained as us not being exclusive. I told her I clearly liked her, but that was fine. --- Her explicit reasons were that she 1) Is a bad girlfriend, and 2) doesn't like the feeling of expectations and pressure.

 

Our communication began to trail off... we hardly spoke during the week, never texted, never emailed. I asked her out once and she said "no," which is perfectly legit, but I took it as a sign to simply move on. She, however, began to fear that I was losing interest and agreed to a date. We had one of those fabulous times where you really get to know somebody without the flirtations and subtext of a "1st date." She later said she had a really great time on that date.

 

A week later on Valentines Day we were with the same crowd, and wound up alone and I stayed at her place again. I stayed there for nearly 48 hours straight! And for all the talk of no exclusivity--which I interpreted as meaning that either she wasn't that into me or had made a mistake letting it get as far as it had, etc.--we became even more affectionate, tender, thoughtful towards each other. I'd been in relationships before and our behavior was simply very much like "relationship" behavior, and not just on my part. More like that "1st glow of love" behavior, although we aren't there yet. But she couldn't resist commenting when I finally left that the only reason she let me stay over was because it was raining (which I don't believe or else why did she keep me there for another day and night and day? But she probably needed to make that comment.)

 

After that V-day encounter, we kept up flirtly communincation for a week, and then it trailed off again. The best way for me to describe this trailing off is when you just feel like you're not getting any... validation. We see each other every 3 - 4 days, events, school. But spend little time alone together.

 

This last week she really showed signs of missing me, with the finale being that she asked me to come along with her and her friends somewhere (in her typical style she didn't "ask" so much as allude to it... but I understood and came--we had fun). Next day I drove her to an interview and she mentioned later that night that it was a "big deal" for her to let me take her--a big deal to let someone do something for her. And finally (to get to today) she agreed--although very hesitantly--to go "together" to a party (meaning nothing other than that we carpooled). And at this party I later heard that someone asked her if we were together and she pretty much told this person (who I don't know) that she didn't want a relationship right now--which is what she said at the beginning, in January.

 

... My friends say she's taking my attentions for granted, knows she can have me and so doesn't commit to anything, etc.

 

... She can go from hot/cold -- she's affectionate those times we've been alone together, but on the cold side she's not distant so much as simply not as affectionate as she was before, which I can't help but feel confused by, since I really feel like she likes me.

[SoulSearch_CO]

1. Have you been intimate?

Yes.

 

2. Are you or his parents divorced?

My mom was married and divorced 3 times. His parents have been married 35 years, his grandparents over 50 years.

 

3. What does he say about his ex? Why did he wait so long before he finally decided to propose? Need more info there...

The proposal thing...it was one thing after another that pushed it off. First, he didn't want to pull her into being a housewife - he suggested she go to school so she could get a better job than she had. She agreed and ended up going to school for 3 years. They were long distance during that time - about 5 hours apart. Then she finished up school and moved back to town. He was considering proposing at that time, but they got into some big argument and he felt the timing was off. He says that looking back it was a pretty loveless relationship. She pressured him constantly about getting married in passive aggressive ways - I think that turned him off, too. She also told him that if they got married, he couldn't keep his job because he lives on site. He's been at the job 8 years now, it's an excellent job - no reason to up and quit - the people there love him.

 

4. Have you talked at all about anything to do with turning this long distance relationship into one that is not?

Yes, we've talked about me moving in with him. We make constant comments about "when I live there, " etc. But I told him that I'd like to table the discussion for 6 months. That was at the end of January. His response was, "June, here we come!" LOL Not quite 6 months, but I adored his enthusiasm - very cute. I just moved to a place that I can't have animals. I had to rehome 2 cats and one dog. He took on the other dog. She's living at his place, now.

 

Sorry it took me a couple days to write back. He spent the past couple days helping me move to my new place.

[SoulSearch_CO]

Wow, I don't know if I'd believe that was the real case....I mean that would really have had to be a LACK of communication for that to happen. That's crazy!

Well - I believe it because after they broke up, he bought an $11,000 snowmobile after he sold off the ring. He had the cash from the ring and then a little in savings. The thing is totally paid off. I would have had a hard time buying it, too - except I've seen the sled and I know how antsy he is about debt.

[SoulSearch_CO]

I also saw something in this thread about fighting. We have had a couple miscommunications and then one sarcastic bantering session that might have looked like a fight if you didn't know us. The miscommunications - we keep talking until we can meet in the middle and figure out what the other person is talking about. The sarcastic bantering session - I apologized after and he said he wasn't upset about it - took it as just banter. I feel like this relationship is a lot more communicative than my last. I had a hard time with my XH because he seemed completely uninvolved and quite honestly - I'd bait him sometimes and say things that I really didn't mean trying to get SOME kind of reaction out of him. It was as warm as being in relationship with a brick wall. I didn't feel like I could connect with him. This one, he knows how to bite back and doesn't let people walk all over him. I LIKE IT. We definitely talk. If I do something that makes him think I'm angry with him, he addresses it. He's willing to offer the olive branch as much as I am. Neither of us is into the silent treatment and it seems we both got that in our last relationships from the other party. He said he likes it when I just address something right away rather than letting it fester. He would always get the "nothing's wrong" from his ex-gf and then she'd yell at him later that he didn't read her mind. I don't play games - I'd rather just take care of it so we can move on.

[burningashes]

Ok, burning...some questions:

 

How long was it from the time you ended things with your ex until you and your b/f became an item?

 

How did it come about that you were friends with your b/f? Were you maybe a little more than friends during the time you were with your ex and the time you were friends with your now b/f?

 

And how long had it been since your b/f was left by his ex and the time you two got together in a romantic way?

 

There seems to be a lot of good here but I'd like to know more.

 

What's the best parts of your relationship and what are the worst parts?

 

Does he want what you want regarding marriage and family? Have you even discussed that?

 

If you can answer all of the above, I will weigh in.

 

-I had been wanting to end things for a few months before I finally ended it. I started seeing my bf about 3 months after.

 

-We met on campus when he was on duty. We both were regulars at a coffee joint where I'd see him in the mornings sometimes and he would say good morning, etc to me there. It took me a while until I started having conversations with him to the point where we exchanged phone numbers and agreed to go out for a coffee date. We quickly became friends and he knew that I was in a relationship, that was fine with me- my ex knew I had made a new friend and hung out with him sometimes. I admit that I had a crush on my current boyfriend but we kept it strictly platonic until after I broke up with my ex that he told me he liked me. But because of the recent break up, we decided to take it slow.

 

-I would say probably at least 3 years now.

 

-The best part? Oh, I could just go on. I brought him to my parents house for dinner last night and it went wonderfully- we all laughed and joked together. I was pretty nervous, but it went very well and I was proud to have him over to meet my family. We talk about everything from politics to cooking, it doesn't get boring when we're doing nothing but watching tv. We make each other smile and laugh, when we part ways we kiss and hug as if we don't want to let go and when we see each other again, we kiss and hug as if we don't want to let go either Last night, he said, "You must love me to bring me over to your parents house for dinner even if you don't say it to me yet." I came back with, "(lol) You must love me to have come with me to my parents house."

 

He shrugged and said, "Nah, I came for the steak." It was pretty funny, I gave him a mock shocked look and he went, "Oh, oh, I'm kidding, you know I do!" It's really fun with him and I love that about him Ok, I'll stop!

 

The worst part? I tend to avoid confrontations and he's big on that, not in a bad way, but he will force you to talk about issues right there. That's something that I'm learning now, that I can't bury my head in the sand thanks to him, that it's better to talk about things and nip it in the bud before it snowballs. I wouldn't say it's the worst part because it's getting better, and I'm learning how to be okay when we have confrontations. I would say right now that we would love to see each other more but it's difficult with our schedules. We worry about each other when we're on our jobs as we both get put into dangerous situations, so that's that also. We always text each other when we get home from work though, so that we know the other's home safe. I don't think that's really that bad, it's the only thing I can really think of.

 

-Somewhat, I know he wants to settle down. He moved from Ottawa a couple of years ago and mentioned that he wouldn't mind moving back, but that would change if he had a wife and kids. I've told him I want to get married, travel and have kids eventually, not right now because I want to work on my career first and so on. We have similiar goals and views on what we want later in life, it's just a question of when, I suppose, and we're not in a hurry

[Glory]

Hi, Touche, I'm hoping you can give me your opinion. I'm a lurker, sometimes poster, so here goes...

 

I am 24, BF is 25. We've been together 7 years (since I was 17). We met senior year of high school and dated mostly throughout college. We went to different schools (about an hour apart) but saw each other every weekend. Sophomore year, we took a break and both dated other people for a couple months. Obviously that didn't last. Prior to our relationship we had both dated other people, though his relationships lasted longer than mine.

 

More recently (this past September) we had some issues (detailed here) that we have since resolved. Long story short, he was worried that he didn't have any friends that were just his friends, as opposed to our friends, and that he felt that our timelines did not sync up (in terms of engagement and marriage). We've both talked about this and he has since made some other friends in a new hobby and we've agreed on a timeline we are both happy with.

 

I am moving in with him in about two weeks (yay!) and we are hoping to get engaged by the end of the year (yay again!). We both want similar things in terms of children and our future. We both have good jobs and solid career paths. I have no debt and he has his mortgage and some student loans still to pay off. He owns his own home.

 

Both sets of parents are still married over 25 years later.

 

Let me know if you need any other information. Thanks so much for starting this thread. It's pretty interesting!

[SoulSearch_CO]

Bumping

[Touche]

I am very curious to see what you will say about my relationship, but I can probably guess, considering your view on couples in their 20s...

 

I am 21, he's 23. We've been together for just over a year.

This my first serious relationship, my longest relationship prior to this was 6 months. He has had a serious relationship lasting about 4 and half years. We both talk about our exes in a good light, and dont have negative things to say. Both of our parents are divorced, but all 4 of them are now with their 'soulmates'.

 

We live an hour and a half apart but I stay at his house about 5 nights a week because he lives closer to my college, friends, work, etc. He has said that I can move in but I havent yet because he lives with his friend and its his friends place and I dont think he likes the idea of me moving in.

 

We have talked about buying a house together at the end of the year when i finish college. We both want 2 kids but not for another 10-15 years! We both want to get married someday. We have talked as if we are going to be together for the long-term, but never actually said that we will get married to each other. once he said "when we get married" but quickly changed that to "if we get married", but marriage isnt that important to me at the moment.

 

We tell each other we love each other all the time and we mean it.

He's really affectionate, caring. We spend quite a lot of time together in the evenings and at least one night and full day together on the weekend. We both have a good balance with still going out with our friends and maintaining our independence. He gets along with my friends and family well. We trust each other... i think i covered everything.

 

Ok first HIDING ME, I'd say VIABLE but with some hesitancy. The distance concerns me as does the fact that he sounds a little emotionally distant maybe. If those two things don't become an issue, I'd say you're viable.

 

Also, SOUL SEARCH, I asked if people could re-post their other posts when answering questions and posting again. It just takes too much time for me to go back and try to find your original post to refresh my mind on the original details. I started looking back for yours and didn't see it and I don't have that much time today. So please re-post any of your older posts and I'll respond.

 

Now to Britney:

 

I know what I said about people in their 20's but I've also said it's not out of the question...again, look at Allina's story.

 

Naturally for you I'm very concerned that this is your first serious relationship. I think it would be a good idea to live together when school is out but I'd be careful about buying something together. If you're still together by the time you're 25 or so, you probably will make it. But I just don't know now. As I've said, we change a LOT from the time we're in our early 20's to our early 30's and I hesitate to say that this is viable. Heck, you won't even be the same person by the time you're in your mid to late 20's.

 

And staying at your b/f's house is not the same thing as actually living together.

 

I would never recommend marriage of course, at this stage of the game, but if you're happy with him, keep going and see where it goes.

 

I'd need to know a lot more though to really say whether this has long-term potential. For example, when you argue, what is it about and how well do you resolve things?

 

You do have some good things going for you though.

[Touche]

I think you missed my next post touche. So what is your opinion on my relationship?

 

Ok, here's another one where I had to go back and look. Hope I saw all of yours since you didn't re-post them. (I thought I already weighed in on yours though...don't remember.)

 

It looks like you guys have a shot at it even though he's your first relationship (did I remember that right?) and you're in your 20's.

 

You need to bring up about going out now and then...or just plan it yourself.

 

But you guys have a lot of history together. I'd say VIABLE. Especially if you make it until your early 30's..this could make it for the long-term.

 

But I would bring up about going out.

[Touche]

Hey, Touche!

 

We had a great time, and one of the young gals was on the dance floor WITH us older gals, and she was rubbin' booties with me while we were dancing! LMAO! And no - she does NOT swing that way! Not that there's anything wrong with that... lol

 

Okay, back to the topic at hand. I made an extra effort to make a really good meal for my baby when he got home from work on Saturday. I usually cook a good meal in the evenings, particularly on Saturday night after he has to work and I don't, but I know how much he loves pasta, so I made chicken fettucine. Afterward I took a nice, long shower and did lots of extra prep so I'd be nice n' schmoove all over . After spending a little more time with my son, I got into bed with my man and finished off his evening in a most spectacular fashion! WOW! I could tell how much he loved it all! Whew!! What a night!!!

 

There's a little taste of my recipe for a successful relationship.

 

 

Hahah...you're a smart woman Donna! Pay attention girls! Food and sex. Men are so easy to please.

 

Glad you had a good time. Sounds like a lot of fun.

[Touche]

Hi, Touche, I'm hoping you can give me your opinion. I'm a lurker, sometimes poster, so here goes...

 

I am 24, BF is 25. We've been together 7 years (since I was 17). We met senior year of high school and dated mostly throughout college. We went to different schools (about an hour apart) but saw each other every weekend. Sophomore year, we took a break and both dated other people for a couple months. Obviously that didn't last. Prior to our relationship we had both dated other people, though his relationships lasted longer than mine.

 

More recently (this past September) we had some issues (detailed here) that we have since resolved. Long story short, he was worried that he didn't have any friends that were just his friends, as opposed to our friends, and that he felt that our timelines did not sync up (in terms of engagement and marriage). We've both talked about this and he has since made some other friends in a new hobby and we've agreed on a timeline we are both happy with.

 

I am moving in with him in about two weeks (yay!) and we are hoping to get engaged by the end of the year (yay again!). We both want similar things in terms of children and our future. We both have good jobs and solid career paths. I have no debt and he has his mortgage and some student loans still to pay off. He owns his own home.

 

Both sets of parents are still married over 25 years later.

 

Let me know if you need any other information. Thanks so much for starting this thread. It's pretty interesting!

 

Burning, I see your response but yours is also a case where I have to go back and find all your other posts so I'll do that when I have more time or if you could start a post with all your previous posts copied, I can get back to you sooner.

 

Ok, Glory that was nice of you to say about my thread. And you're welcome. So here goes:

 

Wow, another young couple and you've been with him since you were 17. Hmm...well you have some good things going for you also.

 

I'm wondering about this engagement/wedding timeline. How did it come about that you agreed on the end of the year? Whose idea was that? Or did you both come up with it together?

 

Also, have you discussed money and how you'll split bills or handle financial matters, bills, etc. after you move in together?

[Touche]

The question contained in this story is whether I should interpret the tender moments in her behavior as (not deviously on her part) simply enjoying my attention and not wanting to cut that off--given that people can show real affection yet not be interested in a relationship--or whether her tenderness, even though she withdraws from it later, is a positive sign. If there is no chance for a relationship, then I would definitely pull away from her (stop asking her out), and put my energies into someone else.

 

 

---Sorry if this is long--I hope I addressed the right facts.

 

(This takes place from late November '08 to today)

 

Her and I are both reasonably attractive, intelligent people with good career prospects--point being that we could find someone else if wanted to.

 

I'm in the same grad program with this girl, we're both almost 30. December of 2008 we wound up in a couple of situations where we were alone together at a bar; we talked a lot (hours) over drinks--very casual because I never really "asked her out." We would also see each other in a group of mutual friends as well.

 

Towards the end of December there was more subtle flirting, I invited her and her friend visiting from out of town to come out to a club with friends of mine--but this invitation, unlike the others, I think made clear that I really wanted to see her. She came, we had one of those "club moments" where the two of you are standing a little too close together to be completely platonic, and we continued to build upon that connection. I asked her to coffee, she came--again, good conversation, mutual values, rapport, humor, and some shyness that comes with knowing this is more romantic than just a casual encounter with friends. Over a three-week X-mas break we texted each other once, emailed once.

 

The moment we got back from X-mas break in early January, I asked her out a couple of times, about three dates in she invited me to stay over at her place. It was really.... a romantic type of encounter (not a friends with benefits type of situation) EVEN though she said that this is just what it is, a hook up--I said "great." We woke up, went to the beach, and our conversation began to take on that future-oriented tone. And we hooked up again a few days later; again, tender and affectionate, and again, we made clear that there were no expectations.

 

I interpreted it as the beginnings of something; clearly much to soon for an actual, exclusive relationship by any measure. But near the end of January she asked me out to coffee--which at the time I thought was a step forward since I would usually initiate every meeting--and she made clear we were just "seeing each other," which was explained as us not being exclusive. I told her I clearly liked her, but that was fine. --- Her explicit reasons were that she 1) Is a bad girlfriend, and 2) doesn't like the feeling of expectations and pressure.

 

Our communication began to trail off... we hardly spoke during the week, never texted, never emailed. I asked her out once and she said "no," which is perfectly legit, but I took it as a sign to simply move on. She, however, began to fear that I was losing interest and agreed to a date. We had one of those fabulous times where you really get to know somebody without the flirtations and subtext of a "1st date." She later said she had a really great time on that date.

 

A week later on Valentines Day we were with the same crowd, and wound up alone and I stayed at her place again. I stayed there for nearly 48 hours straight! And for all the talk of no exclusivity--which I interpreted as meaning that either she wasn't that into me or had made a mistake letting it get as far as it had, etc.--we became even more affectionate, tender, thoughtful towards each other. I'd been in relationships before and our behavior was simply very much like "relationship" behavior, and not just on my part. More like that "1st glow of love" behavior, although we aren't there yet. But she couldn't resist commenting when I finally left that the only reason she let me stay over was because it was raining (which I don't believe or else why did she keep me there for another day and night and day? But she probably needed to make that comment.)

 

After that V-day encounter, we kept up flirtly communincation for a week, and then it trailed off again. The best way for me to describe this trailing off is when you just feel like you're not getting any... validation. We see each other every 3 - 4 days, events, school. But spend little time alone together.

 

This last week she really showed signs of missing me, with the finale being that she asked me to come along with her and her friends somewhere (in her typical style she didn't "ask" so much as allude to it... but I understood and came--we had fun). Next day I drove her to an interview and she mentioned later that night that it was a "big deal" for her to let me take her--a big deal to let someone do something for her. And finally (to get to today) she agreed--although very hesitantly--to go "together" to a party (meaning nothing other than that we carpooled). And at this party I later heard that someone asked her if we were together and she pretty much told this person (who I don't know) that she didn't want a relationship right now--which is what she said at the beginning, in January.

 

... My friends say she's taking my attentions for granted, knows she can have me and so doesn't commit to anything, etc.

 

... She can go from hot/cold -- she's affectionate those times we've been alone together, but on the cold side she's not distant so much as simply not as affectionate as she was before, which I can't help but feel confused by, since I really feel like she likes me.

 

NOT VIABLE.

 

But you kind of broke my rule for posting on this thread. The relationship has to be an EXCLUSIVE one. Yours isn't. Your just dating. But for what it's worth, I don't really see this one going anywhere. You're way more invested than she is. Sorry.

[Star Gazer]

Ok, Touche. You asked me to report back, so here I am...

 

I "met the parents" this past weekend - spent Friday through Sunday with them, as well as BF's brother and his GF (who I've already spent a good amount of time with). I was nervous going in, but I had no reason to be. They welcomed me with great big hugs, and acted as though I'd been a part of the family for a long time already. There was no awkwardness. Their curiosity and questions during our conversations reflected the fact that BF has shared a lot about me with them, which means a lot to me.

 

I've never felt more welcome and accepted by strangers in my entire life. I had a wonderful chat with his mom for a couple hours. I'm usually almost embarassed to discuss my upbringing, how small my family is, my current situation, etc., but she (as well as BF, dad, brother, almost-sister-in-law) are all so...understanding, non-judgmental, and supportive. I loved watching them interact with one another. It actually made me cry a little in private, knowing what sort of family I missed out on growing up.

 

I still feel like the luckiest girl in the world... even more so now, actually.

[Ocean-Blue]

Ok, Touche. You asked me to report back, so here I am...

 

I "met the parents" this past weekend - spent Friday through Sunday with them, as well as BF's brother and his GF (who I've already spent a good amount of time with). I was nervous going in, but I had no reason to be. They welcomed me with great big hugs, and acted as though I'd been a part of the family for a long time already. There was no awkwardness. Their curiosity and questions during our conversations reflected the fact that BF has shared a lot about me with them, which means a lot to me.

 

I've never felt more welcome and accepted by strangers in my entire life. I had a wonderful chat with his mom for a couple hours. I'm usually almost embarassed to discuss my upbringing, how small my family is, my current situation, etc., but she (as well as BF, dad, brother, almost-sister-in-law) are all so...understanding, non-judgmental, and supportive. I loved watching them interact with one another. It actually made me cry a little in private, knowing what sort of family I missed out on growing up.

 

I still feel like the luckiest girl in the world... even more so now, actually.

 

Star, whenever I read your posts (the recent ones), I always think of The Bachelor. This is the "meet the parents" date. I'm glad it went well.

 

Meeting the parents is both scary and exciting. But if you pull through, then you're set.

[Touche]

Ok, Touche. You asked me to report back, so here I am...

 

I "met the parents" this past weekend - spent Friday through Sunday with them, as well as BF's brother and his GF (who I've already spent a good amount of time with). I was nervous going in, but I had no reason to be. They welcomed me with great big hugs, and acted as though I'd been a part of the family for a long time already. There was no awkwardness. Their curiosity and questions during our conversations reflected the fact that BF has shared a lot about me with them, which means a lot to me.

 

I've never felt more welcome and accepted by strangers in my entire life. I had a wonderful chat with his mom for a couple hours. I'm usually almost embarassed to discuss my upbringing, how small my family is, my current situation, etc., but she (as well as BF, dad, brother, almost-sister-in-law) are all so...understanding, non-judgmental, and supportive. I loved watching them interact with one another. It actually made me cry a little in private, knowing what sort of family I missed out on growing up.

 

I still feel like the luckiest girl in the world... even more so now, actually.

 

Wow, SG! I'm truly happy for you. Sounds like this couldn't have gone any better.

 

I see an engagement in your near future! It really sounds like you've met your "one." That's so great. Yippppeeeee.

[Touche]

Star, whenever I read your posts (the recent ones), I always think of The Bachelor. This is the "meet the parents" date. I'm glad it went well.

 

Meeting the parents is both scary and exciting. But if you pull through, then you're set.

 

I was thinking the exact same thing since I know she's a fan of the show too.

 

This one is going to turn out way better than the TV version though.

[Ocean-Blue]

I was thinking the exact same thing since I know she's a fan of the show too.

 

This one is going to turn out way better than the TV version though.

 

I agree.

[Star Gazer]

Aww, thanks Touche and OB.

 

I highly doubt a proposal is going to happen in the near future though.

[Shygirl15]

Possibly the best thread ever posted on LS! As I read through the OPs answers to people's queries I can't help but agree!

I agree. This thread deserves a 5-star rating, unlike the other made-up ones we have seen recently that people create to show they also "have a life"

[Touche]

Aww, thanks Touche and OB.

 

I highly doubt a proposal is going to happen in the near future though.

 

Don't be too surprised if it does though. I mean he's got the house and everything and is thinking long-term now.

 

Thanks, Shygirl. I appreciate that. I got a PM over the weekend with the same "playing god" message as you probably saw at the beginning of this thread.

 

It's so ridiculous. And I stil would like to see other people weighing-in also.

 

Again, for those who still think I'm "playing god"...this was supposed to be a thread to help people really look at their relationships. It's not even just for those who post seeking assessments.

 

How is my starting a thread like this "playing god?" Especially since I didn't even state that I'd be the only one weighing in..I welcome everyone to do so.

 

So in view of that stupid PM and the odd comment or two on here, I do appreciate your comments.

[Star Gazer]

Isn't there a way to "rate" a thread, with stars or something?

 

Nevermind, just found it...and starred it!

[Touche]

Isn't there a way to "rate" a thread, with stars or something?

 

Nevermind, just found it...and starred it!

 

I didn't know you could do that. How do you do it? Where does it show if a thread is even rated?

 

Oh and thanks SG!