Doesn't he deserves for cheating?

[knuckles]

Hi I am 17 years old and so is my boyfriend. We have been now 2 years into this relationship and well many times it's great except when I off course remember the event. Even though he is very remorseful about it and has changed, I can go crazy if it comes back on my mind.

 

See during our first year of our relationship, he cheated with one of my now ex best friends. I basically walked in on him in my friend's house receiving oral sex from her. Anyways after he begged so much, asking for one last chance, so ok I decided be with him.

 

He hasn't cheated since but every now and then I hit him on several ocassions. I have slapped him many times, shake him, pushed him against the wall and threw small things at him such as a remote control, my sandels or CD case. One time I just punched him hard in anger and called him a ''****ing cheating bastard'' and was like ''You deserve this every now and on, you cheated anyways so that's the way how you should be treated''.

 

Yes he has overly apologized for his cheating but the more that image comes to live again the more I get angry. Wished there was a way I can get rid of that horrible image, I mean yes I still love him. I mean doesn't this makes sense, he cheated thus he kinda deserves it doesn't he?

[Dexter Morgan]

knuckles...why don't you just dump the pr!ck?

[knuckles]

knuckles...why don't you just dump the pr!ck?

 

I know I can but I love him and well want to believe I can try to overcome this. I guess that's a way of punishing him for what he did last year.

[Just Angel]

I know I can but I love him and well want to believe I can try to overcome this. I guess that's a way of punishing him for what he did last year.

 

Sorry to tell you but thats not love. If you said you'd give him another chance then you shouldve. Not forgiving him and worse, abusing him and feeling justified about it isnt giving him a chance.

 

No one deserves to be treated like you are treating him. I half hope some day someone treats you the same way, believing they are fully justified b/c you screwed up.

 

Do HIM a favor and leave. You obviously cant get over his cheating and cant control yourself either.

[Dexter Morgan]

I know I can but I love him and well want to believe I can try to overcome this.

 

You think he'll never cheat again? Think again.

 

 

I guess that's a way of punishing him for what he did last year.

 

You want to punish him, make him lose someone he "claims" to care about. Show him that he isn't all that and a bag of chips enough to keep someone wrapped around his little finger in the wake of him cheating.

[Dexter Morgan]

No one deserves to be treated like you are treating him.

 

Uh, newsflash for you...HE cheated on her. Her feelings are justified. I think she just needs to dump him. But what?....she is suppose to just "get over it" and he pretty much gets away with cheating? I don't, however, agree with her hitting him. the tongue lashings are perfectly justified and he deserves that.

 

 

I half hope some day someone treats you the same way

 

Why? She was the one that was cheated here.

 

 

believing they are fully justified b/c you screwed up.

 

she didn't screw up....HE did....He is the cheater.

 

 

Do HIM a favor and leave. You obviously cant get over his cheating and cant control yourself either.

 

I agree she should leave him because he is a cheater.

 

knuckles, don't let angel get to you. You have feelings...he stomped all over them and your anger is justified. don't let JA get you down with her crap. Your boyfriend screwed you over big time and your feelings are a result of that. But I do agree that if this is how you are going to interact with him that its best to leave, not to do him a favor because he doesn't deserve any favors...but because you shouldn't have to live your life always worrying about him doing it again and feeling like you have to stay on top of him.

 

Its better just to dump his sorry ass and move on to someone that will care for you enough to keep his d!ck in his pants around other women.

 

but you are way out of line with hitting him and such. I do agree, thats not love, but why lower yourself to that level. Let him be the one with the lousy character and simply leave him.

[Chat]

Hi I am 17 years old and so is my boyfriend. We have been now 2 years into this relationship and well many times it's great except when I off course remember the event. Even though he is very remorseful about it and has changed, I can go crazy if it comes back on my mind.

 

See during our first year of our relationship, he cheated with one of my now ex best friends. I basically walked in on him in my friend's house receiving oral sex from her. Anyways after he begged so much, asking for one last chance, so ok I decided be with him.

 

He hasn't cheated since but every now and then I hit him on several ocassions. I have slapped him many times, shake him, pushed him against the wall and threw small things at him such as a remote control, my sandels or CD case. One time I just punched him hard in anger and called him a ''****ing cheating bastard'' and was like ''You deserve this every now and on, you cheated anyways so that's the way how you should be treated''.

 

Yes he has overly apologized for his cheating but the more that image comes to live again the more I get angry. Wished there was a way I can get rid of that horrible image, I mean yes I still love him. I mean doesn't this makes sense, he cheated thus he kinda deserves it doesn't he?

 

Sorry but there is NO EXCUSE FOR ABUSE!!!!! I don't give a sh*t what he did, but physically abusing someone is NOT acceptable.

 

DUMP him, your enjoying hurting him or you wouldnt continue with the relationship seeing as it is obviously BAD for both of you.

[Just Angel]

Dexter,

My point is that there is no excuse for abusing.

Yes he cheated, yes she's rightfully hurt, but that DOES NOT give her the right to treat him like that, all the while saying she loves him and is giving him another chance.

 

As her post indicated, the cheating happened a year ago.

I do not expect anyone to just get over it (ive been cheated on), but after a year its time to stop throwing it in his face, holding on to it like a weapon and using it as an excuse to be nasty.

 

When I( said I hope someone treats her the same way, I meant that when she screws up on something big, soeone she cares for will hold itagainst her, never let her live it down, denies forgiveness yet keeps her close enough to abuse.

 

There is a saying that to forgive is to set a prisoner free only to find that that prisoner is thee.

Encouraging to hold on to her rage and sense of entitlement doesnt help her emotional growth in away way.

[Dexter Morgan]

Dexter,

My point is that there is no excuse for abusing.

 

I agree, she should have just left....you just made it sound like she should to do him a favor. She should do it instead of getting physical to do herself a favor.

 

 

Yes he cheated, yes she's rightfully hurt, but that DOES NOT give her the right to treat him like that, all the while saying she loves him and is giving him another chance.

 

I agree, aside from physical abuse, he DOES deserve to be treated like the dirtbag he is in some other fashion.

 

But again, I'd say dump him, he doesn't deserve to be in a committed relationship.

 

 

As her post indicated, the cheating happened a year ago.

I do not expect anyone to just get over it (ive been cheated on), but after a year its time to stop throwing it in his face, holding on to it like a weapon and using it as an excuse to be nasty.

 

What should the statute of limitations be on betrayal and hurt?

 

Someone cheats and a year later they are suppose to drop it like it never happened?

 

Sorry, if I was to stay with a cheater, which I won't, said cheater would have a different set of rules to live by if they want to keep me. For instance, a "girl's night out" to a club or something like that is over. And that rule wouldn't expire in a year. Said gf would have shown me she can't handle the situation. That would be seen the same as "throwing it in her face".

 

Cheating has, and should have, long lasting consequences. There are some things a cheater is going to have to accept if they want to make things right. Not necessarily "throwing it in their face"....but if someone cheated on me and say, 3 years later, a situation came up and a gf said, "so and so wants to go to Club Hook Up Saturday night", you better believe I'd say, "and you think thats a good idea after what you did to me?" It wouldn't be a daily thing where I'd bring it up out of the blue, but there would be certain behaviors I'd expect...1, 3, 10 years down the road.

 

 

There is a saying that to forgive is to set a prisoner free only to find that that prisoner is thee.

 

I agree somewhat with that post...in that the "prisoner is thee" part...but I don't connect it to forgiveness, I connect it to anyone that stays with a cheater. Therefore, I refuse to be a prisoner, therefore I won't stay with a cheater and advocate the same for others.

 

 

Encouraging to hold on to her rage and sense of entitlement doesnt help her emotional growth in away way.

 

I didn't encourage her to hold on to it, I told her that her feelings were understandable. I told her to flush the turd, therefore moving past any rage.

[whichwayisup]

I know I can but I love him and well want to believe I can try to overcome this. I guess that's a way of punishing him for what he did last year.

 

IF he did that to you, HE would be in jail. Think about that for a second..

 

STOP hitting your boyfriend!!!!!! Either forgive him and work WITH him so you two can work through it, or break up with him. Punching him out anger that YOU have not dealt with is the WRONG way of handling this. Try talking to him, instead of hitting him...Geez.

 

Infact, he should break up with you..

 

Please get help, seek counselling and learn how to control your anger.

[lonelypiscesguy]

Honeychild, I don't and have never hit a woman, but you slap me and you'll live to regret it! You're dating a boy, not a man! Better not try that **** when you grow up.

[D-Lish]

I mean yes I still love him. I mean doesn't this makes sense, he cheated thus he kinda deserves it doesn't he?

 

No, he doesn't deserve to be abused. I'm surprised he stays with you.

 

More importantly, I can't imagine why you got back together with him after he cheated.

 

Your whole situation is twisted.

[Mahatma]

I feel bad for the both of you.

 

I would never be able to totally forget that someone cheated on me if I was with them frequently. I would be constantly reminded and probably made angry as well. This is why I would never stay with someone who cheated on me.

 

Neither of you deserve it.

[thelostsoul89]

No one deserves to be cheated on, im sorry this happened to you but you dont have to right to emotionally or physically abuse your boyfriend. This "relationship" is really no relationship at all. If you love someone you dont hurt them. You chose to forgive him, obviously you havent. You are too young to be in a relationship like this. If you cant get over this then just break it off, its not the end of the world there are other people out there that wont hurt you the way your current has.

 

Best of luck.

[sotired]

This is really sad. You are both so young.

 

You really should seek some counseling for your sake. Forget him....why stay with a cheater...especially at your age. But my fear is that if you do leave him, you are still going to be angry and not have anyone to take it out on. You really need to learn how to deal with your feelings without harming another person.

 

I've gotten so mad I've broken chairs and dishes, but I've never laid my hands on someone else. If you hit him and leave a mark, you can go to jail. Is this douche really worth throwing your future away over?

 

There are millions of guys out there...he is just a drop in the bucket.

[knuckles]

Wow I see I got a handful of responses. I haven't had time before as I was busy with school work.

 

It's over now, it ended in a terrible arguement just 2 weeks ago.

[knuckles]

I agree, she should have just left....you just made it sound like she should to do him a favor. She should do it instead of getting physical to do herself a favor.

I know, I should have done that long ago instead of waiting too long.

[Trialbyfire]

knuckles, you have to find a way to control yourself. There's no excuse for physical abuse albeit you're justified in being angry with him. The only problem is that this type of anger needs to be addressed since it might come out again, with someone who could be perfectly innocent of wrong-doing.

 

If at all possible, get some therapy, for the cheating, the anger and the physical violence. Whatever you do, DO NOT repress it. You're going to have to find a way to get a grip.

[knuckles]

knuckles, you have to find a way to control yourself. There's no excuse for physical abuse albeit you're justified in being angry with him.

Yes now I'm aware of this. He did push me from behind at the end as I was getting ready to leave in anger, not hard but it still shocked me. So next thing I got angry and shoved him back, got his cell phone and threw it. He did the same with my cell phone as well calling me ''crazy bitch''.

 

The following day he calls me saying how sorry he feels, he basically broke down in guilt. Needless to say I plan on not contacting him.

[Dexter Morgan]

Yes now I'm aware of this. He did push me from behind at the end as I was getting ready to leave in anger, not hard but it still shocked me. So next thing I got angry and shoved him back, got his cell phone and threw it. He did the same with my cell phone as well calling me ''crazy bitch''.

 

The following day he calls me saying how sorry he feels, he basically broke down in guilt. Needless to say I plan on not contacting him.

 

Maybe this cheater will remember the fights you had. Next time he cheats on someone, they just might pull out a knife on his ass.