She left her 4 years BF and moved in with me in less than 10 days...

[ADUN]

I m a 35 years old single Dr. I met a customer of mine and felt attracted to her (she's 25). In order for me to get her attention I showed my money off, my car my house etc. Then she started showing interest too.

 

If you ask me about her ex, he just finished grad school and is of the same age as her (they didn't go to the same college though).

 

In the beginning she hided the fact that she was living with her boyfriend (for 4 years) but she told me later when we dated more. She always complained about her boyfriend and how bad he treated her (I assume it's true).

 

After less than 10 days of dating, I offered her to move in with me if she feels un-confortable with her relationship. She did move in within the same week and now we live together in my house and she assures me day and night that she has no feelings whatsoever for her ex and she's happy she found her soulmate ->me.

 

For now, we are enjoying our time and we have fun like any happy couple, but I m wondering if she'd be the perfect wife given the circumstances in which we met.

 

What's your opinion?

 

PS: I do love her

[Leikela]

Let's see here...

 

* You met her as a patient of yours

* She was with a guy for 4 years previously

* She held back the truth that she was living with the ex

* She only started to show interest in you after you flaunted your riches

* She moved in with you only after 10 days of dating

 

I'd say there are serious problems here. How can you love someone only after knowing them 10 days?? Also, it's pretty obvious she left her unhappy relationship to escape it and live an easier life with you. I mean, she's got it made! A rich Dr. that owns a house, car, is financially stable, asked her to move in and claims to love her. What is there not to like about that scenario?

 

I have a feeling she loves your money more than you.

[ADUN]

Leikela,

 

I see your point, it confused me too because the first time she and her ex came to my office, she looked happy with him.

 

During their break up, her ex also called me and left a msg asking me to call back which I never did. I am 10 years older than him and I didn't see the need for me to talk to him. (his msg was normal no swearing nothing)

 

Last time when she went to their apt (or should I say "his" now) to pick up her stuff, she was daydreaming a lot. I Never wanted to bother her about the details because I know what she's going through. Now, after that, her ex never contacted none of us.

 

Sometime later, she confessed however that when she picked her stuff up, she found some girl's clothes in his room (I guess he got somebody already). And went on telling me how much love she gave him and how bad he treated her back like putting her down, beating, calling her names and stuff of that sort throughout all 4 years.

 

Now, what amazes me is that she has absolutely no friends; nobody calls her and she calls nobody except her family. When I asked why that is so, she said she devoted all her time to her ex.

 

Besides this, she's absolutely fine, honest, sweet and lovely. Sometimes quite but it's ok I guess.

 

Any comments about this?

 

Do you think that time will solve this issue?

[VASH THE STAMPEDE]

I would have to agree with Leikela 93.56%.

Financial stability would be a great way to move on .

Do you feel she really loves you?

How do you really know ?She could be taking you for a ride .

If her EX needs to talk to you then there maybe something she left out.

Because if my lady left me and I got another I wouldn't waste my time calling her new boyfriend to tell him anything.

[befuddled1]

 

I met a customer of mine and felt attracted to her (she's 25). In order for me to get her attention I showed my money off, my car my house etc. Then she started showing interest too.

 

1. As a doctor, don't you have to follow some kind of code of ethics; one that would cause you to know how professionally unethical and wrong it is to be chasing a patient? (do you come from a country overseas? Never heard of a North American doctor refer to someone as a "customer.") Seems to me that you completely took advantage of your position as a physician and you acted inappropriately. What would your medical association say?

 

2. Well that was bright. In order to get some young girl's attention, you show off all your material possessions. You might as well just attach a neon sign to your head that says "Gold diggers apply within." You're really 35? Do you have much experience when it comes to dating or women or relationships? It doesn't sound like you do.

 

 

In the beginning she hided the fact that she was living with her boyfriend (for 4 years) but she told me later when we dated more. She always complained about her boyfriend and how bad he treated her (I assume it's true).

 

Hided (hid)? Well that's special. Are you desperate or something? I don't mean to be harsh but can't you find a woman with more class and integrity who knows about being honest? Why would you put up with someone who kept such pertinent information from you? Again, you seem naive.

 

As for "assuming" it's true that her b/f treated her so badly, never assume. What else do you expect her to tell you? She's not going to tell you he was the greatest thing since sliced bread, who treated her well....then try hooking up with you? Of course she's going to make him sound bad. Couldn't have been that bad, they lived together for 4 yrs, afterall. Again, naive.

 

 

Besides this, she's absolutely fine, honest, sweet and lovely. Sometimes quite but it's ok I guess.

 

Honest? She's HONEST? She lied to you from the get go, about living with her boyfriend for 4 yrs, and you call her honest? Good grief!

 

After less than 10 days of dating, I offered her to move in with me if she feels un-confortable with her relationship. She did move in within the same week and now we live together in my house and she assures me day and night that she has no feelings whatsoever for her ex and she's happy she found her soulmate ->me.

 

Again, NAIVE.

 

Why on earth would you invite a virtual complete stranger into your home after only 10 days of knowing her? Are you off your rocker? Are you a sucker for punishment? And after such a short period of time, she tells you that you're her "soul mate"? That's insane. She doesn't even know you, nor do you really know her.

 

For all you know, her and the supposed "ex" have some plan all cooked up where she'll live with you and get as much from you as she can (money, material things, etc) and then go back to him with the loot. Or you could come home one day to find your place has been robbed. Frankly I would think a physician would have more smarts and common sense.

 

And you "love her"? You don't even know her. Your relationship started out based on a lie.

 

Is this post even for real? Nobody who was smart enough to make it through med school could be this naive.

[happy_daydreamer]

Why not take a chance? Your money forms part of you too. Why a woman is allowed to love a man's intelligence, manner and look, etc but she is not allowed to love a man's money and big house,while those are also part of his achievements too. If the logic holds, then every woman in the world can only love poor men.

 

There is no permanent guarantee in love. So far, you two are both happy now, just enjoy it. The future is so far away. Even if you found a woman who did not love your money, you could have no guarantee that she would not leave you one day for whatever reason.

 

Life is too short for waiting. But anyway, I cannot figure out any reason why you would leave her now.

[moimeme]

Nobody who was smart enough to make it through med school could be this naive.

 

Intellect does not necessarily correlate with wisdom.

[ADUN]

Well, her ex boyfriend called me while they were arguing at home not after (she didn't move out then) But I never called him back. <- just to make it clear.

 

Before, when she explained to me how violent he was, I thought he’d punch her straight in the face and beat her up when he’d know she was leaving him. But, she was ok and she said he didn’t put a finger on her… she added that he cried a lot and just talked.

 

Now since that break up day, he never tried to get in touch with her at all nor did he try to call me again

 

Now a couple of days ago, I heard her calling a friend of her ex’s and asking him about her ex, how he was doing, if he ever talked about her, if he saw his new girl, etc. I wonder was she just curious to know or she’s not over him yet. I mean, what do you think (especially woman). How fast could you get over a 4 years relationship?

 

Also, do you think that our age difference would be a prob?

 

You might think it's weird but I m so much into this girl.

[Leikela]

I mean, what do you think (especially woman). How fast could you get over a 4 years relationship?

Also, do you think that our age difference would be a prob?

 

She is asking about her ex because she still has feelings for him. You don't get over a 4 year relationship over night like that. I am sorry to say this, but you're her rebound relationship. She didn't have the courage to leave her abusive ex until she was sure she had security with someone else. You provided her with that and now that her ex is no longer around, she's wondering about him.

 

The age difference could be a problem in your situation. She's 25 and around this time young girls are trying to get their life in order, become established with careers, and truly find themselves. It's a growing period. You're 35 and have already been through all of that and you already have your career in order, have a house, car, etc... You're stable. You and her are on two separate pages in the book of life. That definitely has potential for problems down the road.

 

I think you should be more concerned about the way you two got together. Just face it. She still loves her ex and she hastily left him but is now rethinking her decision. I hope it works out for you, but the odds are against you. Be prepared.