Men stay attractive longer then women and Peek later in life

[DMoon]

http://www.enews20.com/news_Men_over_40_Face_Fertility_Problems_French_Study_Says_09160.html

 

 

ive noticed that all my older female friends who easily conceived happened to have younger husbands....

 

 

Nonetheless, a virtual tidal wave of research has made it irrefutable: Not only does male fertility decrease decade by decade, especially after age 35, but aging sperm can be a significant and sometimes the only cause of severe health and developmental problems in offspring, including autism, schizophrenia, and cancer. The older the father, the higher the risk. But what's truly noteworthy is not that infertility increases with age—to some degree, we've known that all along—but rather that older men who can still conceive may have such damaged sperm that they put their offspring at risk for many types of disorders and disabilities. "Men thought they were getting off scot free, and they weren't. The birth defects caused by male aging are significant conditions that can cause a burden to families and society,"

http://www.psychologytoday.com/rss/index.php?term=pto-20070830-000004&page=1

 

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=fact-or-fiction-men-have-biological-clocks

 

Interesting that the burden of birth defects is not the sole province of women as they age and elect to have children which may increases the possibility of afflictions such as Down syndrome---the man's age can also greatly increase mental disorders such as bi-polar disorders and schizophrenia in males. Men are not invulnerable even though they can still have the potential to create kids--but should older men do so anymore than older women.

[Sam Spade]

OMG, cut us a break. We are people. We aren't trying to give men the off. I might has well throw in the towel now if this is seriously how men feel about women.

 

Apparently it's okay if men get marriage oriented in their 30s. (Please remember that by age 30-35 men's sperm is on the decline). It's okay if men squander their time acting more like boys then men in their 20s and 30s and then it's okay for them to marry someone 10 years younger? That seems to be what you are advocating. But it's not okay for women to wait until their 30s to want to be married?

 

I find it very insulting that you think all women have squandered their time and therefore are undeserving of affection, companionship and love because of an opinion that rather see women taken down a notch then treated like people with feelings. We are people. Just like you. And no less deserving to be loved and cared for. I think some of the guys here have forgotten that. Or think that women don't deserve it. Quite discouraging overall.

.

 

(Saying "more likely in general" never means "all", and this is to be assumed for any claim.)

 

I am basing these claims on opservations and experience (my own and my cirlce of friends). I was long-term relationship oriented by the time I was 25, and as an extention - marriage oriented by the age of 28. On average, most of the women around me of the same age did not exibit such orientation (and if they did, I'd happily marry years before I turned 30).

 

Now I'm 32, and the women my age *all of a sudden* are more receptive to the idea of marriage. But, at the same time I am at the peak of my physical attractiveness and my career is sorted out, which gives me the opportunity to be a lot pickier with women, which includes looking past my age group. All else equal, that only makes sense. So I would have happily committed years ago and the woman I stuck with would have only benefited from that. But now things are different - for all intents and purposes my marriage value has increased in early 30's while the one of the women in my age group begins to decline. And i think it is uncalled for to interpret this as an insult - of course everybody deserves love and affection! If anything, it breaks my heart to see women struggling with relationships well past 30, my ex being one of them! But marriage is a lot more than love and affection, and the concern for a healthy offspring is not a minor one. Of course, I am happy that modern medicine continually opens more room to be flexible age-wise.

 

So I never said that it is ok for men to get marriage oriented later than women. In fact, I find it pathetic that there are so many guys that seem to live extended childhood. But, for those of us that are marriage oriented in our 20s, things just don't seem to pan out too well with the same age group - on average. And once you get slightly older and more succesful, it only makes sense to look for the increasingly rare 25+ woman who wants to settle right then and there before looking in our age group, that's all.

[JerseyShortie]

Well Sam, you realize only men get burned right. I mean, it isn't possible that there are nice 25-35 year old women out there that have been in long term relationships but broke up or just haven't found that special guy even though they put in the same effort. They must have wasted those oppurtunties or treated the guys like crap right? I hate to tell you but men in their early 20s aren't looking to settle either. And marriage is about a lot more then just love and affection. It's about compromise, and hard work and realizing that women are people too. And to be honest, women have better chances to be with men younger then 30 themselves for healthy off spring.

 

Whatever though, I seriously am loosing more amd more faith in men from this thread. No wonder so many women turn into lesbians. It doesn't seem like the men today want to offer respect and value to women even while they want to try and uplift their own.

 

I will restate that why would a woman want to be with a man that looks down at the woman in his own age group? Not attractive.

[Green]

 

I will restate that why would a woman want to be with a man that looks down at the woman in his own age group? Not attractive.

 

I don't know maybe money, security, and love? I see woman with older guys all the time

[Sam Spade]

Well Sam, you realize only men get burned right. I mean, it isn't possible that there are nice 25-35 year old women out there that have been in long term relationships but broke up or just haven't found that special guy even though they put in the same effort. They must have wasted those oppurtunties or treated the guys like crap right? I hate to tell you but men in their early 20s aren't looking to settle either. And marriage is about a lot more then just love and affection. It's about compromise, and hard work and realizing that women are people too. And to be honest, women have better chances to be with men younger then 30 themselves for healthy off spring.

 

Whatever though, I seriously am loosing more amd more faith in men from this thread. No wonder so many women turn into lesbians. It doesn't seem like the men today want to offer respect and value to women even while they want to try and uplift their own.

 

I will restate that why would a woman want to be with a man that looks down at the woman in his own age group? Not attractive.

 

This is just twisting what I said... I'm sure there are plenty of counter-stories (duh). But as a general trend I'm probably right.

And I never said I look down on a woman because of her age . You know, marriage is not the only social interaction on the planet... I appreciate people (men or women) for who they are in the myriad social circumstances that I encounter them. It doesn't mean that I will indiscreminately marry anybody whom I appreciate...

 

My current girlfriend is 29, which is very close to my own age, and I would be a complete idiot to pass judgements and make assumptions about her just because of her age. Moreover, her (llimited) relationship history indicates no pattern of whimsical attitudes to men and commitment, so I won't be exchanging her for a random 25 year old anytime soon (ideally - never). THe point is that although I believe in the trends I've outlined (until proven wrong), I also have a brain and a heart to see when the probabilistic relationship happen to not hold true in a particular case.

[D-Lish]

I don't know maybe money, security, and love? I see woman with older guys all the time

 

Maybe they are daughters....

 

Whatever. I don't care about my age. I am 39... You can look at my album pic from my 39th b-day. I work out, I run, I do whatever to stay fit and healthy. If guys think I am over the hill.... That's fine.

 

I routinely get messages on dating sites from guys that have a profile limit of 35 and under.

 

Honestly- I am great friends with most of my highschool group.

The guys have let themselves go.... BIG time.

 

To be truthful- the married couples have gone south... the singles or recently divorced work harder and look better.

 

I do think that both men and women have an unrealistic pre-concieved(sp?) notion that over 30 is downhill.

[Peter_pan]

yeah d you are a stunner. if i was older or you were younger ! id snatch you up so fast. probably move to an exotic island so no one else can feast there eyes on you lol

[D-Lish]

yeah d you are a stunner. if i was older or you were younger ! id snatch you up so fast. probably move to an exotic island so no one else can feast there eyes on you lol

 

I'd do the same with you my pete...

[clv0116]

I will say, I think that since you seem to consider older women so worthless, any feelings you might have for an aging wife will always be tainted because on some level, you will consider her less of a woman for it.

 

I'm not sure if you're being intentionally obtuse or just obtuse, so forgive me for giving you the benefit of the doubt. I will explain again, although I suspect your blinders will not permit you to understand what I write.

 

When my wife is 50, we will have spent 25 years together and I will love and cherish her dearly. I don't know how to say it any more plainly.

 

 

That's because too many men rather act like boys then men now-a-days. There is no reason why a man of 28-32 shouldn't have his life in order and be a responsible adult.

 

Depends on what you call in order, but while it's possible, I do think there are plenty of reasons why it won't happen.

 

 

You've never dismissed a woman before? On multiple occasions? Women aren't the only ones that reject men. Men reject women. And I think it's very arrogant to assume that you know the reasons why a woman did not want to see a man or new he would not be a good mate for her.

 

Knew, new is someting not old.

 

I have of course, however I don't see (despite lame claims to the contrary) men by and large pining away about why women won't commit. Women do this en-masse, and my solution is simple; ladies, strike while the iron is hot.

 

 

Actually, it is about deserving. You think women that are older are less deserving of having such hugely human things like love and companionship.

 

You need to polish your crystal ball, I think no such thing.

 

 

I think the same is true of men actually. I have run into my fair share of men that were late 30s or early 40s and desperate to settle down and have families and new they were not getting any younger. They were interested in me on deeper levels but I was not interested in them on that level.

 

Knew, not new.

 

Oddly those horribly discontent men virtually never say anything here. Let's be real, although your incredible eligibility pushes the men around you into a veritable matrimonial frenzy, this effect is just not shared by the female population in general. Men almost never say "I broke up with her because it wasn't going anywhere" or "Why won't she commit?"

 

 

ALthough they were fun to date. I don't mind dating older men. I will not be marrying one. I see what my mother goes through with my father and she is still young and wants to do things and he is just old and doesn't want to. And actually, that is a common compliant with women in their later years that married older men. I have had so many women tell me not to marry an older man, to marry a man more my age. Because as you get older, the faster you age and he will hit the wall while I am still in my prime loving life.

 

You know, again I'm sure it happens, I know exactly one couple where his blood pressure medicine prevents him from performing like he used to. However for every one of those, I know at least 30 guys who can't get it as often as they would like.

 

 

As someone that has experience dating older men, I can tell you it's just as difficult for men and there are many men out there that are marriage minded.

 

As noted above, your experience seems atypical, perhaps when you are done cutting one from the herd you can share your sub-sample of men with your peers. They should be quite popular.

 

 

Yes, I remember your comments about the worthlessness of women previously. And how women are only worthy of love and companionship when they are 20 but after that we deserved to be crapped on. To be honest, there isn't a woman alive that wants to be with a man that only wants to be with her in her 20s, whether a relationship is developed or not.

 

Well I'm sure glad I don't know anyone like that! The guys I know seem to be either age ambivalent serial daters or on the watch for a cute little wife to grow old with.

 

 

There is no reason for a 20 year old woman to waste her time with a 40+ year old man. He is, at that point, way past his prime. Now a man in his early 30s is a different story.

 

Well you're probably right, however plenty of women seem OK with it, so I'm going with what the market can offer.

 

 

We both know you knew what I meant.

 

Of course, context helps a lot.

 

 

Actually, I think unfortunetly quite a few men here have alot of malice for women in general. It's sad to come on this board and see the kind of comments some of the men make about women and how they want to comment on what they want our lack of worth to be and in the same sentence try to speak themselves up as if they deserve the world merely for being themselves. Your message is clear. You believe men to be more deserving of love and companionship then you believe women to be.

 

Well again, I never said that.

 

 

 

And to be honest, women have better chances to be with men younger then 30 themselves for healthy off spring.

 

So I'm given to believe. I'm not worried but I guess it's something some guys might want to think about.

 

Also, than, not then.

 

 

Whatever though, I seriously am loosing more amd more faith in men from this thread.

 

Losing, not loosing.

[kizik]

I agree with the title of this thread. Although spelling it "peak" also works. Unless you're talking about voyeurism, which men also engage in.

 

I am sure I will "peek later in life". I'll be 85 and spying on women changing clothes.

[Balthazar]

I have read some of the posts on this thread and I can honestly say both men and women can make valid points on age and attractiveness.

I myself have argued on a similar thread last summer and it really leads nowhere(although the arguments by both sides are -undoubtedly- eloquent).

 

At the end of the day, a person gets what he/she can get, whether in their late 30's(as I am) or at any other age.

My personal experience is that both men and women can be attractive despite being older.

To what extent depends on whether they take care of themselves and have good genes.

 

My advice to the guys is that they should always go after the women they want, and should be wary of advice from women on age issues(especially North American women).

 

For that matter, the same applies for women.

If they see a guy they like, they should just go for it.

If they look fine and have a good personality, there will always be takers, irrespective of age.

 

Cheers,

[serial muse]

My advice to the guys is that they should always go after the women they want, and should be wary of advice from women on age issues(especially North American women).

 

For that matter, the same applies for women.

If they see a guy they like, they should just go for it.

If they look fine and have a good personality, there will always be takers, irrespective of age.

 

Cheers,

 

 

I agree with this, Balthazar. And I'd emphasize that women, too, should be wary of advice from these men about age - probably particularly North American men, too, where the hangups are particularly acute.

 

People should just do what they're gonna do, and not make such a federal case about it. Ye gods already. :rolleyes:

 

I just don't understand why so many of the guys on these boards have to be such drama kings about the older women thing. We get it!! You want to date women in their 20s. OKAY. But for the love of all that's holy, WHAT IS THE POINT OF TELLING PEOPLE THAT? Who are you trying to school? The women on these boards aren't gonna date you anyway. And they're not going to stop trying just because you say so. The men on these boards aren't gonna do anything differently either. Everybody's just gonna do what they're gonna do.

 

Starting threads like this is like saying,

 

"Here ye! Here ye! I shall lay down the law, and all must hearken unto me!!"

 

For God's sake, what's the freaking point?? Maybe I missed it, but I'm not sure how threads like this constitute a teachable moment or anything else that can help us understand relationships better. Anyone??

[susyq76]

Hope that works out for you, a lot of women are finding it's hard to get a husband after a certain point in life but there are always exceptions.

 

Again, I disagree. In the collegiate world, folks don't get married in their early 20s. Now, outside of that world, it may be different. I'm 32 and have MORE than enough options. My significant other is 29, I'm not sure if I'm considered an "older" women since we're only 3 years apart. However, I've had no problem getting a man younger nor older.

 

Additionally, just like women have less of a chance for marriage after a certain age...SO DO MEN! They did a study and found that a man over 35 has HALF the chance than his younger counterparts in getting married. If he hits 40 that number diminishes even further.

 

Then in numerous studies they show that 85% of men are happier married than single. Only 50% of women were happier married. So, men are happier in the marriage relationship than a women..but yet men act as if all a women needs and/or wants in life is marriage! Get over yourselves!

[susyq76]

LOL, I understand. You can't pull this on a CONFIDENT EDUCATED woman! Nothing any man could say would ever make me feel bad or unattractive. sorry

 

I'm a beautiful, confident, woman that will always have OPTIONS! This isn't 1950~

[Alma Mobley]

Green posts another stir the chocolate thread, and everyone bites. How mundane.

[Balthazar]

 

Then in numerous studies they show that 85% of men are happier married than single. Only 50% of women were happier married. So, men are happier in the marriage relationship than a women..but yet men act as if all a women needs and/or wants in life is marriage! Get over yourselves!

 

I am not sure about such a study.

In our conversations almost NONE of my male friends are happy in their marriage and most of them are seeking a way out or are already out.

They all tell me I am much better off not getting married.

 

I can't comment about the female side.

[susyq76]

I am not sure about such a study.

In our conversations almost NONE of my male friends are happy in their marriage and most of them are seeking a way out or are already out.

They all tell me I am much better off not getting married.

 

I can't comment about the female side.

 

 

Yep, they've done several sudies. So, if your male friends are saying his imagine what your female friends are saying lol...

[clv0116]

Many of those studies don't look for causation, but correlation, just like the ones I cited where SAHM were found to be happier than married career women. It does not follow that giving up her career will MAKE a married career woman happy; perhaps women who tend to be discontent CHOOSE to have careers, or some other cause is in play.

 

Interesting article I found says:

 

Using social science research methods, DePaulo examined studies that concluded married people live longer and more happily than singles and found flawed science behind many of them. In contrast, as an example of an especially high-quality study, she cited an 18-year research project that asked married and single people to rate their degrees of happiness on an annual basis. The Lifelines of Happiness Study, directed by Richard E. Lucas, professor of psychology at Michigan State University, first reported findings in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2003.

 

"Looking at the quantified results, you can see how happy the participants were in the years before getting married, how happy they were in the early years of marriage, and how happy they were later on," she said. "There was a little blip around the wedding and honeymoon, but overall it showed that people who were happy before getting married were happy afterwards and the people who weren't happy before getting married aren't happy now. Being happy has more to do with their individual personalities than whether or not they're married."

[JerseyShortie]

I will explain again, although I suspect your blinders will not permit you to understand what I write.

 

Please evaluate your own advice for review.

 

Depends on what you call in order, but while it's possible, I do think there are plenty of reasons why it won't happen.

 

I get the impresion that what you call "reasons" I would call "excuses" or "justifications." This might go back to the idea that men want to live an extended fratboy exsistence.

 

 

Knew, new is someting not old.

 

Correcting my grammer doens't make you appear as smart as you probably think it does.

 

I have of course, however I don't see (despite lame claims to the contrary) men by and large pining away about why women won't commit. Women do this en-masse, and my solution is simple; ladies, strike while the iron is hot.

 

Actually, this board is riddled with men complaining exactly about that. Women who don't want to be with them. And these are not complaints about lack of one night stands. And you using such MadLib adjectives as "lame", does little to support your case. Men and women don't use the same words but they speak the same language more often then we think.

 

 

You need to polish your crystal ball, I think no such thing.

 

It's right next to my voodoo doll, I'll go grab it.

 

 

 

Oddly those horribly discontent men virtually never say anything here. Let's be real, although your incredible eligibility pushes the men around you into a veritable matrimonial frenzy, this effect is just not shared by the female population in general. Men almost never say "I broke up with her because it wasn't going anywhere" or "Why won't she commit?"

 

I never said that men are all a twitter for marriage. I did say that that more men, then not, do feel their own clocks ticking and want to start families sooner then later. I really don't know any guy that really wants to wait until he is 40+ to start a family.

 

And you are right! Men never say such womanly words. This goes back to the words being different but the language being the same. Men say things like "the sex stopped, she no longer wants me." Or "she won't committ to the effort for sex".

 

 

You know, again I'm sure it happens, I know exactly one couple where his blood pressure medicine prevents him from performing like he used to. However for every one of those, I know at least 30 guys who can't get it as often as they would like.

 

Well, there are a host of issues regarding this comment. Do you tell your friends, with complete honestly, about the details of your sexual prolictivities?

 

And it's not even a matter of sex. Its a matter of wanting to do things, be active in doing things together outside the bedroom. The simple truth is that my mom is a good 16 years younger then my dad and she is more his nurse then his companion. That is a realistc draw back in being with someone so much older then youself. That person will age faster then you and you miss out on time with them and being young yourself.

 

 

 

 

As noted above, your experience seems atypical, perhaps when you are done cutting one from the herd you can share your sub-sample of men with your peers. They should be quite popular.

 

We live in a day and age where women are more independent and able to sustain themselves and don't have to marry for financial security. I know older men have a difficult time dating and relating. Just like the rest of us. My peers date/have married men within their peer group. I am the only one of my friends that dated older. Older men do date younger women but I think it's a myth to say this is the norm.

 

 

 

Well you're probably right, however plenty of women seem OK with it, so I'm going with what the market can offer.

 

Sure, some women are. But it's not the norm.

 

 

 

So I'm given to believe. I'm not worried but I guess it's something some guys might want to think about.

 

All men should think about. Men are not above nature.

 

 

Also, than, not then.

 

Very petty of you

 

 

L

osing, not loosing.

 

Dude, let it go. You *ain't doing yourself any favors.

[clv0116]

I get the impresion that what you call "reasons" I would call "excuses" or "justifications." This might go back to the idea that men want to live an extended fratboy exsistence.

 

If and only if you consider building a career and a reasonable amount of personal wealth "living like a fratboy" can you claim to be right.

 

 

Correcting my grammer doens't make you appear as smart as you probably think it does.

 

I know how smart I am, I just get tired of reading it.

 

 

Actually, this board is riddled with men complaining exactly about that. Women who don't want to be with them. And these are not complaints about lack of one night stands. And you using such MadLib adjectives as "lame", does little to support your case. Men and women don't use the same words but they speak the same language more often then we think.

 

Complaining about a lack of sex and complaining about not getting married are different things, I certainly never said older women were no good for sex.

 

 

I never said that men are all a twitter for marriage. I did say that that more men, then not, do feel their own clocks ticking and want to start families sooner then later. I really don't know any guy that really wants to wait until he is 40+ to start a family.

 

So you're saying a lot of guys want to knock up unwed mothers?

 

 

And you are right! Men never say such womanly words. This goes back to the words being different but the language being the same. Men say things like "the sex stopped, she no longer wants me." Or "she won't committ to the effort for sex".

 

I agree, men like sex. I never said otherwise. They are a lot more picky about who they marry than who they have sex with.

 

 

We live in a day and age where women are more independent and able to sustain themselves and don't have to marry for financial security. I know older men have a difficult time dating and relating. Just like the rest of us. My peers date/have married men within their peer group. I am the only one of my friends that dated older. Older men do date younger women but I think it's a myth to say this is the norm.

 

I only really need one, and there seems to be a lot more than that around.

 

 

Sure, some women are. But it's not the norm.

 

See above

 

 

All men should think about. Men are not above nature.

 

Cryo-storage *IS* however. As I said, *I* don't worry about it.

[JerseyShortie]

If and only if you consider building a career and a reasonable amount of personal wealth "living like a fratboy" can you claim to be right.

 

As I stated previously, what you call reasons, others would easily call excuses.

 

 

I know how smart I am, I just get tired of reading it.

 

Then don't read it. I didn't ask for your help in my grammer or typing. And sitting there trying to correct it instead of talking about the subject is really petty and belitting.

 

 

Complaining about a lack of sex and complaining about not getting married are different things, I certainly never said older women were no good for sex.

 

 

Older women are good for sex but not good enough to beconsider real women that are deserving of respect, affection, love or partnership. But you as a man of course are deserving of all these things no matter your age. Because men are more important, valuded and worthy then women are. As I said before, obviously women can't win for trying and apparently we are thought of as less for it.

 

This brings us back to what I personally consider your lack of respect for all women, older women obviously included. You make the assertion that older women are good for sex but not much else in the ways of being loved or thought to be beautiful and cared for. Using a woman for sex just so you have your own needs met and not treating her like she is a person of value who deserves respect, says more about you then her. And it doesn't say something positive about the character of the man that does this.

 

Secondly, you're response was not honest to the comments I made. My qoute directly said that there were plenty of men here complaining about the fact that women do not want to be with them on deeper relationship issues. Are they bemoaning the fact of marriage? No. They are bemoaning the deeper intimacy that men identify with when it comes to sex. I infact made it a point to say that men and women don't use the same words but the language is the same. Men want something deeper but aren't getting it. Women want something deeper but aren't getting it. When a man doesn't want to commit to a woman, she feels unspecial. When a women doesn't want to provide sex to her parnter he feels unimportant and undervalued. When a man complains about not getting sex from his partner, he is also complaining about the lack of attention, affection, compromise, effort and promise his partner made to him. Not so far off the mark of the reasons why women want marriage. Men don't come out and say they want marriage but guess what, plenty of them do and are searching for it. The words are different, but the language is the same at the heart of it.

 

 

So you're saying a lot of guys want to knock up unwed mothers?

 

I'm saying exactly what is written below. I don't know any man that plans to only begin his family at 40+ and thinks this is what the best time to start a family. I know many men that start planning that 25-35.

 

Cryo-storage *IS* however. As I said, *I* don't worry about it.

 

Apparently you do though.

[clv0116]

As I stated previously, what you call reasons, others would easily call excuses.

 

You say tomato, I say pomegranate, we're gonna have to disagree on that one except to say that 'others' will of course say anything given a big enough group to ask.

 

 

 

Older women are good for sex but not good enough to beconsider real women that are deserving of respect, affection, love or partnership.

 

Don't believe in entitlement, but past that ...

 

Never said that, all I said is that any given man will do the best he can for himself, as will any given woman. When thinking marriage, different concerns come to mind than for lesser relationships. Of course I consider them real women, I just think they may have made life choices that are counter to their later desires in some common cases.

 

Unfortunate for them, but it's not my task to personally save them from the consequences of their actions.

 

 

 

But you as a man of course are deserving of all these things no matter your age. Because men are more important, valuded and worthy then women are. As I said before, obviously women can't win for trying and apparently we are thought of as less for it.

 

As I said before, I don't believe in entitlement much at all for anyone. Pretty equal opportunity on that one.

 

 

 

This brings us back to what I personally consider your lack of respect for all women, older women obviously included. You make the assertion that older women are good for sex but not much else in the ways of being loved or thought to be beautiful and cared for.

 

Nope. Older women are not as suitable for consideration when seeking to start a marriage. In many other ways they are as good or in some cases better. For instance they are much better for being the beloved wife of 20 years. I'd actually say a 45 year old woman is ideal for that position. Further, a 55 year old woman is perfect for celebrating a 30th wedding anniversary with.

 

 

 

Using a woman for sex just so you have your own needs met and not treating her like she is a person of value who deserves respect, says more about you then her. And it doesn't say something positive about the character of the man that does this

 

I never misrepresent my intentions. Not once, not ever. And she was using me, not the other way around.

 

 

 

Secondly, you're response was not honest to the comments I made. My qoute directly said that there were plenty of men here complaining about the fact that women do not want to be with them on deeper relationship issues. Are they bemoaning the fact of marriage? No.

 

Exactly. Men who want to get married apparently do so pretty easily. The supply of men willing to commit and marry is apparently a lot smaller than the demand. It's ironic that women both ask for and terminate the majority of marriages.

 

 

Also, your, not you're.

 

 

 

They are bemoaning the deeper intimacy that men identify with when it comes to sex.

 

Sex seems easy to get actually. There's no use in me pursuing anything 'deeper' with anyone unless I'm willing to marry her, because for me, that's the logical end game move. Why set myself up for something that is doomed to fail?

 

My observation is that men who are interested in marriage tend to think this way and men who are not interested in marriage tend to think the way you describe. Women almost ALL want marriage but some have to settle for men who won't commit; the ones that think as you describe. In the past those women likely were courted by at least one man willing to commit, and could have probably attracted others, but they opted to do other things while their dating market value was at it's highest. Once the rush of male attention starts to fade the options narrow fast, since many of those marriage minded men are off the market and many more are finding they have a lot of options back in the land of high dating market value women. In other words, older women find they are competing for a relatively small pool of marriage minded men against younger women.

 

You should be in the enviable position of still riding near the peak of your desirability.

 

 

 

I'm saying exactly what is written below. I don't know any man that plans to only begin his family at 40+ and thinks this is what the best time to start a family. I know many men that start planning that 25-35.

 

Maybe I'm a late bloomer, I just started at about 38 or so myself. It seems wrong to me to start a family without good reason to believe I can provide for them. I wish I could have had my life in a better place when I was 34 or so but it wasn't. I'm doing the best I can.

 

 

 

Apparently you do though.

 

No, I planned ahead so I would never have to worry about it. Different thing.

[Balthazar]

Yep, they've done several sudies. So, if your male friends are saying his imagine what your female friends are saying lol...

 

You misunderstood me.

I don't have faith in studies anymore.

It is personal experience from now on...

[susyq76]

You misunderstood me.

I don't have faith in studies anymore.

It is personal experience from now on...

 

I agree and pretty much all my married ladies friends ask the question "What is the benefit of marriage?" Therefore, from my personal experience your friends wives are probably just as tired of them as they are of the wives! Ha!

[susyq76]

Exactly. Men who want to get married apparently do so pretty easily. The supply of men willing to commit and marry is apparently a lot smaller than the demand. It's ironic that women both ask for and terminate the majority of marriages.

 

 

---

 

Actually women who want to get married do so pretty easily as well. Pretty much every woman that I know that WANTS to get married can find someone to marry them. I don't think either gender has a problem finding a marriage partner if they are committed to doing so. I've dated older guys (late 30s) that were talking marriage within a couple months of dating. I find that many older guys are SEARCHING high and low for a wife. So, if a woman wants to get married they can simply seek those type of men . Typically, YOUNGER guys are less willing to commit and marry. On the contrary, older guys are typically seeking a wife, family, and someone to look after them.