calidreaming28 Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 This is going to be a bit long.. so many thanks to anyone who reads and responds in advance! I started seeing this guy about 5 months ago. We went into it with both of us not wanting a relationship, but not ruling it out. We both said that if we felt it was possible we would give it a try. We have a great time together, we laugh for hours and can talk about anything. He said that no one can make him laugh like I can. Things were going great and I felt the closest to him that I have ever felt a few weeks ago. He has a lot going on in his life, and then found out that he was being laid off. That night, he told me that he couldn't do this anymore. He said that he didn't want to hurt me because he cares about me too much but that he doesn't think he can be in a relationship. He said that it's not so he can go around sleeping with tons of girls but so he can figure his own things out. I said ok, and I pulled away to give him his space. Once I pulled away, he changed completely. He started taking me out on dates more often, being completely gentleman like -- opening doors for me and everything. I didn't want to ask him if he was willing to give it a try because I didn't want to be another pressure. Then he made the mistake of asking some girl for her number. I know the girl, and I found out about it soon after. I completely cut contact with him because I was so hurt and upset. We finally talked after a few days and he apologized and said that he made the biggest mistake of his life. He said he didn't know why he did that. He said that he's angry at himself for hurting a good girl like me and that he wishes he could take it back. He also told me that he hasn't been himself since it happened and that he thinks about it all the time. There were even tears. I told him that I couldn't continue to talk to him right now and that I needed time. He told me that he isn't going anywhere and he will be there when I'm ready. He also said that he could hope to be in my life as my friend if he couldn't be anything else. I'm so confused. I care about him so much, and it's safe to say I want more than friends with benefits. I'm not sure how he is feeling though. If he didn't see us as more than friends with benefits, I don't think he would have thought he was wrong by asking that girl for her number. He also told me that he understood why I was upset because he would have been if the situation was turned around. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
xenomaniac Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 He sounds confused but well-intentioned. My advice: give him a chance, date him cautiously. It seems like you have potential but you may have to wait to have the ideal relationship. You can decide how important that is to you (and how soon you need it to develop). P.S. Everyone here will tell you to go no contact. Be prepared. Link to post Share on other sites
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