I hate life

[blondesmiler]

life sucks, its too hard. I am a good decent person but things don't seem to go very well for me, its as if I am being punished for something.

 

How can someone so geniune, that is kind, the type that will help an old lady cross the road or give up my seat for them, the kind that will do more or less anything I can for people, friends, family etc.

 

I can understand that this and the odd other post of mine might make me sound miserable, but I am not. When I go out or around others I smile and am alot of fun to be with and do my being miserable at home alone as not too trouble others with it.

 

I feel very unfulfield at present, I don't like my job very much but in the current climate there just is no scope to change jobs.

 

I would like to go out more, for days out in the countryside, coast, beach or theme parks etc etc but doing these things alone just not that nice and just makes me feel more alone and lonely because I have to do it alone or not at all.

 

I live alone, have a nice place but it feels so empty. I rarely get vistors, no one ever justs pops in.

 

Some of my friends aren't that great, sure they have their own families and commitments but treat me as if I am always avaliable at the drop of a hat, or if I ask them about making a date to go out "I'll let you know" then I sit waiting for weeks for them to come back and let me know. They just do not get what it is like to be alone or lonely, or how much you look forward to any forward plans you might have because that is all you really have to look forward too or work towards.

 

I wonder if I am depressed but I don't think I am, just down and their is no medication for that, all I can do is what I always do and put a brave face on, smile and carry on regardless.

[Touche]

Have you thought of joining a single's group of some kind? They do things as a group. It sounds like you need new friends.

 

You're a pretty girl with a beautiful smile and I'm sure you'll have no problem making friends.

 

Sometimes we have to grab the bull by the horns and make our own luck. Shake up our lives a bit. You seem to be at that point.

 

I'm sorry you're feeling down but it doesn't have to remain that way.

 

Hugs to you.

[She's_NotInLove_w/Me]

Many of the worlds most respected and accomplished individuals faced tough, lonely times before becoming world renowned.

 

Have faith that better days are ahead. It sounds as if there is nowhere to go from here but UP! Know that you can and will do it!

 

London is such a big, bustling city, I am sure that you can feel left out. But you can just as easily use the size of the city to your benefit. Try Craigslist - post for platonic friends!

 

I hope others will pop in and give you some suggestions too...

[D-Lish]

I feel very unfulfield at present, I don't like my job very much but in the current climate there just is no scope to change jobs.

 

I wonder if I am depressed but I don't think I am, just down and their is no medication for that, all I can do is what I always do and put a brave face on, smile and carry on regardless.

 

It sounds as if you have accepted some defeat. You're in a situation where you are sitting back and letting life come to you, instead of going out and affecting your life.

 

If you are focused upon the "lack of" and negativity, then that is what you will invite more of into your life.

 

I love this quote:

 

"To let life happen to you is irresponsible. To create your day is your divine right". Ramtha

 

I've been and am still in a situation similar to yours. I'm in transition from a job I hated, my friends have ALL settled into relationships and really don't ever go out anymore. It IS lonley.

 

I guess what I realized is that I can either sit back and wait for something to change, or I can go out and change things.

 

I've been reading a lot- studying the Law of Attraction, some other self help books. The first thing that stood out is that in order to be happy, you have to figure out what your passion is, and then go out there and seek it.

 

But it really does come down to how you are feeling inside.

All those negative feelings just attract and invite more of the same.

Stop focusing on the negative and begin affirming your positive traits- when a negative thought pops up- re-direct your mind to a positive one.

 

If your job makes you miserable- that should be the first thing you should look at changing. Your life centers around it. You go to bed and wake up everyday anticipating your hatred for your job. Of course that is going to affect you in a negative way.

 

I think you have to start talking to yourself differently- quit the negative self talk. Quit sitting around waiting for life to happen to you! Figure out where you want to go- and go get it.

[blondesmiler]

Thank you all for your thoughts and comments, I know you are right and I am the only person that can sort my life out in certain ways but I do get tired of everytime I try I get knocked back and down. I feel right now as if I have been in a fight, punched and kicked so many times and got back up again, but this time I am so tired of it I donno if I can.

 

I apologise for the negativaty, just having a naff time of it. Sorry and thanks again. xx

[splintered thing]

Alone is nice, really nice. Sometimes we just get too caught up in the images we get from TV, the movies, friends and family and forget to enjoy all the wonderful things around us because, um, we're not supposed to when we're alone.

 

I don't know if it's any different than all the people who get caught up in some life-absorbing religion or turn some cause or social construct (e.g., AA) into their whole lives. Relationships are a whole lot of work with a whole lot of not-fun than you have to endure somehow, so it's no surprise that a lot of people in relationships have to convince those around them that they're essential for happiness...because if they don't keep themselves convinced of it, why are they putting up with all this frustration and crap?

 

But here you have the freedom to do what you want, when you want to, and not be worrying that you're doing what someone else wants to do or fitting into their schedule. You're not waiting for anybody and nobody's waiting for you, and there's a whole world to be enjoyed without having to woek everything around someone else's hangups and quirks.

[NWSTRT2121]

I guess you sat back and waited. I sent you a pm when you were down asking if you wanted to go for a coffee (since we live in the Toronto area). But nope, no reply no acknowledgment whatsoever. Not even a "no thanks." No wonder girls like you are alone and miserable. And here you are trying to give guidance to this lonely girl.

 

O lets be nice now dannydrifter. Dlish seems like a really sweet girl, she might not have noticed you pm'd her or she just doesn't know you at all so she might want to get to know you better online before wanting to meet in person so she felt uncomfortable by your invitation.

 

Blondesmiler I sort of feel like you sometimes. I try to be genuine, love to help other people, make an impact in a positive way in the world, but yet I don't feel content in life. I know there are wonderful, spirited people out there with depth to their inner makeup, but I have such a hard time finding a group of them to be around. I want to do all these grandiose things in my life, but doing them alone takes away the glimmer that makes these things shine. I feel like a great deal of my life needs to be shared with another, but at the same time I do love my space from time to time.

 

I guess I am sort of jealous of certain others. Their ability to make friends so easily, to move on so quickly from trying events, to find new love so quickly. Many of these certain "others" were past loves who have moved on. I was diagnosed with depression and recently, the anti-depressants have started to help since I upped the dosage a little, but it certainly doesn't fill in the empty gaps of my life. As the coldplay song "We Never Change" goes,

I wanna live life, always be true,

 

I wanna live life, and be good to you,

 

I wanna fly, and never come down,

 

And I wanna live my life...and have friends around.

[blondesmiler]

I guess you sat back and waited. I sent you a pm when you were down asking if you wanted to go for a coffee (since we live in the Toronto area). But nope, no reply no acknowledgment whatsoever. Not even a "no thanks." No wonder girls like you are alone and miserable. And here you are trying to give guidance to this lonely girl.

 

1) Please do not use my post for bashing someone

 

2) Please do not genralize and be nasty. I didn't turn you down for coffee, so your "no wonder you girls are alone and miserable" is totally uncalled for, when posting in my post.

[blondesmiler]

Alone is nice, really nice. Sometimes we just get too caught up in the images we get from TV, the movies, friends and family and forget to enjoy all the wonderful things around us because, um, we're not supposed to when we're alone.

 

I don't know if it's any different than all the people who get caught up in some life-absorbing religion or turn some cause or social construct (e.g., AA) into their whole lives. Relationships are a whole lot of work with a whole lot of not-fun than you have to endure somehow, so it's no surprise that a lot of people in relationships have to convince those around them that they're essential for happiness...because if they don't keep themselves convinced of it, why are they putting up with all this frustration and crap?

 

But here you have the freedom to do what you want, when you want to, and not be worrying that you're doing what someone else wants to do or fitting into their schedule. You're not waiting for anybody and nobody's waiting for you, and there's a whole world to be enjoyed without having to woek everything around someone else's hangups and quirks.

 

Yes there are upsides, which I why really I'd just like someone to date like once a week nothing too heavy. I just need some kisses, hugs, sex etc etc sometimes and the compainionship would occassionally be nice as well, as like I said doing alot of things on your own often, its not so much fun as doing them with others.

[blondesmiler]

I really give up....so I get up and think right I will go out today, by myself and have a good day out. I think i'll take myself to the fairly local theme park and go on some rides as they always make me laugh.......hey and guess what, its only open for the zoo part, no rides...........of course, why would anything go right for me, again am being punished for something, wish I knew WTF it was.

 

So I guess I'll just sit in alone again, oh what fun and joy.

[I'm Joe]

life sucks, its too hard. I am a good decent person but things don't seem to go very well for me, its as if I am being punished for something.

 

How can someone so geniune, that is kind, the type that will help an old lady cross the road or give up my seat for them, the kind that will do more or less anything I can for people, friends, family etc.

 

I can understand that this and the odd other post of mine might make me sound miserable, but I am not. When I go out or around others I smile and am alot of fun to be with and do my being miserable at home alone as not too trouble others with it.

 

I feel very unfulfield at present, I don't like my job very much but in the current climate there just is no scope to change jobs.

 

I would like to go out more, for days out in the countryside, coast, beach or theme parks etc etc but doing these things alone just not that nice and just makes me feel more alone and lonely because I have to do it alone or not at all.

 

I live alone, have a nice place but it feels so empty. I rarely get vistors, no one ever justs pops in.

 

Some of my friends aren't that great, sure they have their own families and commitments but treat me as if I am always avaliable at the drop of a hat, or if I ask them about making a date to go out "I'll let you know" then I sit waiting for weeks for them to come back and let me know. They just do not get what it is like to be alone or lonely, or how much you look forward to any forward plans you might have because that is all you really have to look forward too or work towards.

 

I wonder if I am depressed but I don't think I am, just down and their is no medication for that, all I can do is what I always do and put a brave face on, smile and carry on regardless.

 

With the lone exception of not liking your job you just described exactly my situation... and I mean right down to the letter. If someone told me that I wrote this and I didn't already know better I would believe them.

,

I feel very Unfulfilled, I Want to go out more, Everything I do I do alone. I also live alone, and rarely get visitors. and when I do it is usually an unannouced favor.

 

You even have my attitude about the whole thing... I'm not depressed, Just not happy, yet I keep a smile on when I am around others.

 

It actually makes me feel a bit better knowing that there is someone out there with the exact same set of feelings and circumstances.

 

 

 

If you go to the self improvement section I started a thread about everything that makes you happy. check it out. I would like to see your response.

[blondesmiler]

Thanks Joe. I don't know what is wrong with me or what I can do about it, would just like some things to go right for me and have some fun things to do and people to do them with. I do go out now with friends but its like once a week then spend the rest of the time alone or doing something alone. Like today, not seen anyone, not heard from anyone, and am back in now watching movies etc, AGAIN!! The weather is not good out which doesn't help.

[openbook08]

hiya blondesmiler. my heart goes out to you love it really does. ive been there. would you consider talking to a counsellor?? i did, a few sessions and found it incredibly beneficial. youre a beautiful looking girl and have a lot going for you itd be a pity to look back on these years and see how wasted they were. . . you wanna look back and laugh at all the memories.

could you take up a class?? somethin ur interested in or maybe somethin u never even thought of!! what about martial arts?? theres great comraderie. ru interested in make up?? maybe a make up artist course?? or dance?? hip hop?? what do you think?

[blondesmiler]

Thanks OB...I am working on some of those things...its been worse as its been winter here and tend just to stay in more. So hopefully now I can get out a bit more, I have got back to the gym instead of just working out at home. And I have a list of some other things to try.

 

Sunshine will help think I probably suffer with S.A.D

[openbook08]

youre welcome, thats good that youve thought about these things. youd be amazed at the ways you can make new friends... i was with my ex for 5years & had the same hairdresser & beautician for the latter part but i barely knew them beyond that professional rship,but now theyre some of my good friends!!!

you dont gotta tell me about the weather. im in the same time zone as you and its pissin it down here. snow last week. will winter ever end!!

[kdark]

 

I live alone, have a nice place but it feels so empty. I rarely get vistors, no one ever justs pops in.

 

 

Do you like animals?

 

I hear getting a pet can really help with the loneliness. Being greeted by a cute kitty or a loveable doggy whenever you come home does wonders. You'll feel more loved and appreciated.

[D-Lish]

O lets be nice now dannydrifter. Dlish seems like a really sweet girl, she might not have noticed you pm'd her or she just doesn't know you at all so she might want to get to know you better online before wanting to meet in person so she felt uncomfortable by your invitation.

 

Lol, I guess I got bashed when I wasn't paying attention- but the post has since been removed! No offense to anyone at all- but an out of the blue PM from someone you don't know AT ALL asking to meet.... No, I didnt respond. Many females got the same invitation....not jut me!

 

NWSTRT- good advice you gave.

 

Blondie: I think joining a social networking group is a great idea.

If you play sports- join a co-ed sports team. They even have dart nights in some pubs where beginners are welcome.

 

As I said before- sitting back and waiting won't maggically bring people to your door or into you life. You have to go out and start the ball rolling.

 

I enrolled in a bartending course- I don't know if I will pusue the business- but I have met people, and am beginning to do some networking.

 

Hell, I can't wait to move so I can have a house warming party- get some of my coupled up friends out for the evening.

 

As for being lonley sometimes- it is both a curse and a blessing. It's all how you look at it. If you are using your alone time constructively- you will begin to feel good about accomplishing things. Paint a room a new happy colour. Move some furniture around. get out in the garden.

 

It's just a phase- we're both in that age group where so many people are in relationships, focusing on themselves...and not really considering that their single friends are feeling left out.

 

I have lunch with my friend T once a week- but we use to go out 3 times a week to social events and always met tons of people. I was the most happiest then.

 

What are you passionate about- when it comes down to it, what gets you excited? Try and focus on a job and a lifestyle that might better suit your passions.

 

You have to get on the horse and get motivated to do these things. Sometimes it takes self talk and prodding to get a move on... But don't think about what is "STOPPING YOU".. Think about what opportunities ARE available to you.

 

SO apparantly I am a miserable lonely girl with no business giving guidance to someone in the same boat....lol. On the contrary- I am applying ways and taking steps to get what I want out of life. I can share wisdom about what has been working for me, I can also totally relate to where you are sitting right now. I HAVE been walking in your shoes.

 

Biggest triumph (and challenge) for me is starting to get out there. It gets less and less difficult everytime I take a new step.

 

I truly do think that you should update your resume- your job makes you miserable- so time for a change! Changing yout resume and sending then out to different places is a good step in the right direction. The best that can happen is that you find something new and enjoy.

 

Motivation is your number one enemy, if you sit at home and think over and over- no one will visit... then noo one will! And all that does is reaffirm to you that your social life sucks.... But what have you done to keep your social life alive?

 

If old friends are too busy- make new ones. That's where the social groups and mixers can help. I'd go to one of those to meet another female in the same boat as me.

 

Instead of waiting at home waiting for a knock on the door or staring at your cell waiting for messages. Get out of the house and go do something that makes you happy. I like going to the museum by myself. Coffee shops work too. I go there to read and study.

 

The point being is- YOU can change this. The power is within you.

It's working for me. Slowly but surely.

[Hughesy]

Don't give up hope. I used to live in London, it is indeed a lonely place! It's depressing and as long as you have hope you'll be fine. I gave up hope and about two years attempted to commit suicide because of my hatred for life, unfortunately someone phoned for an ambulance and I was saved, make sure you do not follow suit.

[lovestory5]

You need to change your life. If you don't like your job, find another one. But also I think that many people now are unsatisfied with their life. I guess it is the manner of their life. Our grandparents lived and they enjoyed every moment of this life. And we another generation can’t enjoy it. I guess it is also because of the atmosphere and many people now have a depression. Life is very quick and we are not computers and can’t gain all the information it gives to us. That’s why our mind boils and we have a depression. I guess we need to love nature more. We need to have days spent at the lake, with our family, communicating with nature. I also think that our bad mood is the signal from our nature. “Stop, think about prime things, don’t do what you do. You go in the wrong direction”

[blondesmiler]

Like said before the job market here and in the US is pretty dire so I cannot change jobs/companies at present. Although, I am transferring to do same job but closer to home, still be boring but at least my days will not be as long.

 

I have also made some plans for the next few weekends and am currently looking to book a holiday which always helps brighten my mood.

 

Think hopefully with brighter weather coming now, instead of dull winter I will be out more, the little sun we get here will also help (as mentioned I think I suffer with S.A.D a little).

 

Life does suck, sometimes, but I still have this little determinded person inside who once it recoups and gathers its strength back comes out fighting again.

[Geishawhelk]

No.

LIfe does not suck.

Life is not unfair.

 

If it were we'd all be feeling like this.

it would be a general problem.

 

We have a habit of putting it all "out there" when in fact, the source of the problem, or issue, is "in here". Trying to project the responsibility onto some unknown or unseen, and nurturing the impression that if only this were to happen, or if only that were to come about.... things would be great!

 

 

If you cannot find happiness, peace and serenity where you are right now, then where else do you expect to find it?

 

It's all perception.

It's all behind our eyes, it all starts there.

With what we tell ourselves.

With what we make ourselves believe.

 

That "life" sucks.

That "life" is unfair.

 

Life is an ongoing process.

All it does, is 'be'.

 

It's us who see things as 'sucking' or 'unfair'.

 

let me put this to you:

 

And it's a biggie:

 

Imagine that this is the last day of your life.

 

Something is going to come along this afternoon, completely out of the blue (like a truck, for example) and stop you existing.

Just like that.

 

you've got up this morning, done all the things you've been planning to do, you're calmly going about your day, but you know that this is the last afternoon you're ever going to see.

 

 

So what are you going to change about the things you're thinking, or doing?

 

Here in the UK, we have a Reality TV celebrity, who frankly, has in the time she's been in the public eye, been something of a laughing stock. She's opened herself to mockery and ridicule, and if the truth be told, she's considered a bit dense.

She comes from an unfortunate and deprived background, and her only and initial claim to fame was that she was as thick as to short planks, and hillarious.

However, I think she's quite canny and businesslike, with a sharper mind than people give her credit for....

 

She was diagnosed with cancer, and it's terminal.

She has maybe a month - possibly two - left, to live.

 

Since then, she's lived her life, and illness, in the public eye.

Not always tastefully, not always in a way that the public has wholeheartedly applauded.

But she is dying, and she's preparing for that.

Our approval is completely irrelevant.

She's doing it her way.

But the advantage she has, is that she's 'putting her house in order'.

She's making provision for her sons, and she married her boyfriend. (He's a whole other piece, but leave that aside!)

 

I knew a lady who died, who did much the same thing.

 

people, the point I'm trying to make here, is that we have no such privilege, and no guarantees.

 

Isn't it therefore better to approach our days with positivity and an uplifted attitude, than "Life Sucks".....?

 

The trouble is, we believe we have time.

 

Enjoy the Moment.

 

It's the only one you ever have.

 

[JamesM]

Ditto what Geisha says (as is often the case ).

 

If I am not mistaken, you have bouts of depression periodically, don't you?

 

Have you connected them to some season, event, or is it just a vague depression that seeks out a reason?

 

SAD is real, and it can be the reason behind all of the rest of your dissatisfaction.

 

Yet we can also have dissatisfaction in one area of life, and until that is settled we are dissatisfied with everything else in life.

 

It sounds as if you are lonely at home, and when with people you are happy. Is it because you want someone in your life (ie a man) or is it because when you are alone, you have to face all of life's "demons?"

 

What do you think is the main reason behind your depression?

[LovieDove24]

I hope I dont turn you off by getting spiritual on you, but I think it is very important that you turn to God in your times of need like this. And I'm going to slightly disagree with Geisha because it is part of the human condition to feel the way you do sometimes--suffering is part of life unfortunatley. Everyone's gone through it.

 

Please do not mistake what I'm saying as being religious, because I know a lot of people have a problem with that. God can mean any number of things to any different number of people. But it is through Him (or her, or it, or the wind, or whatever you prefer to know Him as) that we can make it through. Guaranteed without a doubt that if you grow in a relationship with Him through prayer, the smaller things will become less difficult and you'll regain some control over what you can. Best of luck.

[Star Gazer]

The last time we all saw you here, you were feeling the same way you are now. I believe your sadness was during the holiday season.

 

I sense a sort of cycle... one that may be hormonal, or chemical in nature. Perhaps it's SAD afterall.

 

Have you talked to your doctor?

[blondesmiler]

I did suffer from extreme depression after a bad break up, as many do. That wasn't SAD that was heartbreak & full on depression.

 

From what my Mum has said she also suffers from what appears to be a mild form of SAD in the winter months (I do not know if its something that is hereditory). And lets face it UK is pretty gloomy in the winter (also in the summer alot too).

 

However as this is a place to come when your perhaps not feeling on top form, and less so when you are feeling much better about life, it isn't really a good place to comment on a person in their e[FONT=Arial]ntirety[/FONT].

 

Since posting have made some adjustments, and booking a holiday and plenty of other good things to be getting on with. Plus the sun even came out for a bit the last few days....hooray thats cool.