Charles1978 Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Have any of you ever ended a friendship because you find yourself falling for that person? Of course, only if you know you have no shot. I've recently done this... cut off all contact completely and told her goodbye because of these feelings. I think I did the right thing. It hurts now, but I know it will get better with time. Any similar experiences? Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Did you talk to her and find out for sure that you have no shot? In my experience, I've never "ended" a friendship because of feelings. I've had to back off or had them back off for a period of time to let the feelings sort of work themselves out. Then, after the feelings have subsided we try a restart as friends. I can say most of the time it was worked out and we stayed close friends after the dust has settled. Basically if you or they can be comfortable with the idea of seeing the other person with a date, then you know you can make it as just friends. A few didn't work out, but at least we both knew and we both left on amicable terms. By back off I don't mean the standard "no contact" clause but more of a space clause. We tried not to contact each other as much as possible and only got in contact if it was a big deal. IE death in the family, the other person honestly needed support, etc. This process usually took about 6 months to a year to finally let things simmer down. But if we had gone no contact, then we'd never have realized that being friends was best thing to happen. We were close before the feelings, we let the feelings out, we let things cool off, and now we're usually much closer because of the fact. I always try to think positive about wanting to stay in contact with people I've developed feelings for. Because, unless you have a crystal ball you never know what the future will bring. You never know, something might just pop in your heads and the two of you will realize that maybe you should give it a shot. Call me dumb, wishful, out of touch with reality, or whatever, I don't care. The truth is, we just don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 You only did what you thought best, based on how you perceived her feelings for you I assume. I've done the exact same thing before, and it was really hard. He and I practically lived together for a good year or two, spent all possible amount of time and took care of each other. But he was never able to return the feelings that he knew I had. I'd say the 1st couple months or so sucked...but ending it really did help me to move on in the long run. He and I ended up being great friends again a few years later and the past was behind us; but it won't go that way for you or anyone else necessarily. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Charles1978 Posted March 9, 2009 Author Share Posted March 9, 2009 Thanks for the replies. Basically, she was giving me mixed signals. She would mention the possibility of us dating from time to time, but it was always avoided because of any number of excuses. I just got tired of wasting my time with her. I began to think that she was using me for all the fun things we did together... things that she cant just do with any other guy because we enjoyed the same hobbies. I am ready for a relationship again, and she isn't. But having her around all the time was scaring off other women... I know this because they have since told me. I don't have problems meeting women, but I spent more time with her because we just clicked and enjoyed all of the same things. But even though she said she wasn't ready, she decided to talk about other guys the other day, and that ended it for me. I was not going to be there for her enjoyment and companionship while she satisfied other needs with other guys. I don't play that game, so I ended everything immediately. I know I made the right decision, and I feel better about it with each passing day. Thanks again for the replies. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted March 9, 2009 Share Posted March 9, 2009 Sounds like you did the right thing for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Yup just did it about 30 min ago. In the end she liked me only as a friend and she didn't even see me as a straight male. So I ended the friendship with her although a little uglier then I intended to. I wanted to end it with us being neutral or a little below but she probably hates me. Link to post Share on other sites
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