To be or not to be...

[juliemanooli]

So there's this guy Bryan. We've been talking for about 4 months. He's graduating this year, and i still have 2 years before I get out. At first, I wasn't sure whether or not I liked him because I was still getting over a previous relationship. Bryan was my shoulder to cry on, and i admit taking him for granted. First he was crazy for me. Now, the tables have turned. I like him and he's not acting the same as before. He's quieter..he doesnt text me as much anymore..and sometimes he pretends im not even around. I finally admitted that I've liked him all this time. and this is what he says.

 

Here's our convo. This is via text.

 

Me: So.. I like you. And i know to you its probably not a good thing, because you're graduating this year. I dont know what you think of me, but I know exactly how i feel about you. I've never met someone who was so sweet and genuine until you came alone. I'm not saying this to scare you. And I know neither of us want to get attached because you're leaving...Go have fun and be a senior. Just know that I'll always be thinking of you.

 

Him: Aww Julie I really appreciate that. I like you too at one point.. but then I realized that I was leaving soon and I cant get attached But, we can still be great friends right? I will always be here for you, and we can still hangout all the time.

 

 

*note that the weekend before this conversation happened, we hooked up for the first time. I was afraid that this was the reason why he was acting like he didnt like me..did I do something wrong?

 

 

So here's what I need to know.

1) What does he want from me?

2) Does he even like me for that matter?

3) Wouldnt we become more attached if we "hangout all the time"? Then why does he imply on this?

[TMichaels]

juliemanooli,

 

When someone responds to your admission that you like them with something like "I liked you too at one point" I would take that as a pretty clear indication that "they're just not that into you" (i.e. as in "girlfriend material") any more.

 

As far as what he wants?

 

I think he wants you to know that while he does care for you, wants to be there for you, and hang out with you, that his feelings are different than yours.

 

Up to you what to do about that.

 

If you're not comfortable trying to be "just friends" then don't put yourself in that position. If you want to hang out with him *with no expectations* there's always the possibility both of you might change your minds.

 

However, he is right about one thing -- starting something that the two of you won't be able to finish should be a concern. LDRs aren't easy and take a lot higher level of mutual interest and commitment than the two of you have right now.

 

Best of luck to you...

 

HTH,

TMichaels

[Lucky_One]

What exactly did this "hooking up" entail?

[juliemanooli]

We did not have sex. haha.

[Island Girl]

You have posted this same thread how many times here? I think three or four?

 

As I posted on one of the others - this guy did like you.

 

But he has since reconsidered his feelings and what he wants.

 

He will soon be graduating and moving on to pursue life elsewhere.

 

He told you point blank that he is not interested in pursuing anything romantically but still enjoys your company as a friend or "hanging out".

 

You should forget about him and open yourself up to meeting someone else.

[Bearandsue]

So there's this guy Bryan. We've been talking for about 4 months. He's graduating this year, and i still have 2 years before I get out. At first, I wasn't sure whether or not I liked him because I was still getting over a previous relationship. Bryan was my shoulder to cry on, and i admit taking him for granted. First he was crazy for me. Now, the tables have turned. I like him and he's not acting the same as before. He's quieter..he doesnt text me as much anymore..and sometimes he pretends im not even around. I finally admitted that I've liked him all this time. and this is what he says.

 

Here's our convo. This is via text.

 

Me: So.. I like you. And i know to you its probably not a good thing, because you're graduating this year. I dont know what you think of me, but I know exactly how i feel about you. I've never met someone who was so sweet and genuine until you came alone. I'm not saying this to scare you. And I know neither of us want to get attached because you're leaving...Go have fun and be a senior. Just know that I'll always be thinking of you.

 

Him: Aww Julie I really appreciate that. I like you too at one point.. but then I realized that I was leaving soon and I cant get attached But, we can still be great friends right? I will always be here for you, and we can still hangout all the time.

 

 

*note that the weekend before this conversation happened, we hooked up for the first time. I was afraid that this was the reason why he was acting like he didnt like me..did I do something wrong?

 

 

So here's what I need to know.

1) What does he want from me?

2) Does he even like me for that matter?

3) Wouldnt we become more attached if we "hangout all the time"? Then why does he imply on this?

 

 

IMO I think he likes you as a friend and that is all. The fact that he wants to hang out, means that he cares about you. But just as a friend. I think you should move on and try not to dwell on it too much. There is someone waiting out there for you.