How do I stop giving a **** about what other people think of me?

[Ross PK]

If I could do this I believe I could get anywhere in life.

[carhill]

IME, lots of practice. It's kinda like the crowd thing. Afraid of crowds? Purposely expose yourself to crowds and learn skills to cope. Pretty soon, the skills will just be a part of your personality. The first step is the hardest.

 

I find a little mind trick works well for me....when I have that feeling (what are they thinking of me), I imagine them on the shyter taking a dump. It really puts any superiority (that their opinion of me carries any weight in life) I might improperly feel about them into perspective. It's often quite funny

[playlislay]

Ha! I love that bit of advice :OP

 

Im going to do that next time Im in a big group. I guess its some sort of social phobia? Mine is only on a small scale and it does effect relationships where I find it hard to intergrate into a big family. You start to think 'oh no, I wont say that, they might judge me or think Im stupid' etc. Next time, Im going to invision all of my associates and bf's family doing a poo-daloo on the lavvy! :OP AMAZING! lol.

[carhill]

BTW, I learned that trick in the airport loo, whilst taking a leak and listening to the cacophony of really loose bowels in the lav stalls adjacent. Then there's the smell

 

Really, it works. Life is too short to take so seriously.

[Peter_pan]

go bungee jumping naked.

[era]

Don't become immobilized by what anybody else thinks of you.

 

The person looking back at you in the mirror is the only one you have to answer to every day.

[JamesM]

The person looking back at you in the mirror is the only one you have to answer to every day.

 

While it is important to do things respecting other people, it is not important to do what others think you should do...provided it is not immoral or illegal.

 

Don't ignore good advice, but assume everyone else's opinions are better than yours.

 

Be confident in realizing that what you want to do is best for you. You may end up being wrong and fall flat on your face, but that is how you learn.

 

So now that you have asked us our advice, should you care what WE think?

[nana yaw II]

i do a few things:

 

- think of who the person is in relation to me, and what place they have in my life. If it's a stranger, then i wouldn't care. if somebody close, then yes.

 

- have confidence that i am who i am, and that others' opinions either arise from envy, malice or insecurity. I am not responsible for the feelings/emotions of others, so i do not care what others feel.

[Ross PK]

So now that you have asked us our advice, should you care what WE think?

 

Lol, now that's certainly a dilemma isn't it?

[kizik]

One word, hyphenated: self-esteem.

 

How do you build self-esteem?

 

You follow your interests. Sports, hobbies, music, games, travel... whatever! As soon as you like what you are doing, no one else's opinion matters.

 

But before that can happen... you have to do something! And do it a lot, and get good at it.

[Ross PK]

One word, hyphenated: self-esteem.

 

How do you build self-esteem?

 

You follow your interests. Sports, hobbies, music, games, travel... whatever! As soon as you like what you are doing, no one else's opinion matters.

 

But before that can happen... you have to do something! And do it a lot, and get good at it.

 

I already follow most of my interests, and I like following them. Not sure if I do have low self esteem or not.

[CanadaGuy]

If I could do this I believe I could get anywhere in life.

 

Become VERY rich, then who cares what they think, but till then, you have to care, or at least appear that you care.

[CanadaGuy]

One word, hyphenated: self-esteem.

 

How do you build self-esteem?

 

You follow your interests. Sports, hobbies, music, games, travel... whatever! As soon as you like what you are doing, no one else's opinion matters.

 

But before that can happen... you have to do something! And do it a lot, and get good at it.

 

 

Bang on the money!!!

[MostUseful]

If I could do this I believe I could get anywhere in life.

 

Don't consider that you do. Eliminate your ideas and learn about control.

 

If you realise that you only control inside yourself, a lot of your anxiety related to external things will disappear. Let me rephrase that.

 

You 100% control everything inside you. You 0% control everything outside you.

 

http://enlightr.com/blog/Why-You-Are-In-Complete-Control-of-Yourself.html will help if you absorb the information in the post.

[Brady_to_Moss]

I use to always care about what people thought about me...but then i had some therapy and meds and now i can give presentations in front of a hundred people if i had to and not be afraid of what they were thinking about me. All has to do with practice.

[BlueEyedGirl]

I spend sooo much time worrying about what other people think of me. It sucks and I have no good advice to give. I mean I post on here and one person calls me crazy and I spend the rest of the day being very upset about it.

[Ross PK]

I spend sooo much time worrying about what other people think of me. It sucks and I have no good advice to give. I mean I post on here and one person calls me crazy and I spend the rest of the day being very upset about it.

 

You've just gotta realise that most of the time they're opinions, not facts. There'll always be someone who doesn't like you or who will critisize you over something, it's like that for all of us.

[imani]

If I could do this I believe I could get anywhere in life.

 

Just chose not to care.

[imani]

I spend sooo much time worrying about what other people think of me. It sucks and I have no good advice to give. I mean I post on here and one person calls me crazy and I spend the rest of the day being very upset about it.

 

Blue, you are not crazy.

 

You just are "crush-struck".

[Ross PK]

Just chose not to care.

 

It's not as simple as having a choice, like caring can be just switched off.

[carhill]

I spend sooo much time worrying about what other people think of me. It sucks and I have no good advice to give. I mean I post on here and one person calls me crazy and I spend the rest of the day being very upset about it.

BEG, when you share your experiences, you are giving advice, though it might not seem that way to you at the time. There are far more people learning and benefiting, myself included, than might readily be apparent to you. The ones who call you "crazy" do so because a mirror was held up and their response was to lash outward. Think of them as the needle in the haystack of good people, a needle you need to avoid

[FlowersForMedusa]

Be whoever it is you know you are... you can't be anyone else, so why try? Oh, and watching Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas helped me.

[redfathom]

You just have to realize that most of the people you see you will never see again, so who cares. Who even knows if they're watching. If they are someone you know, that is a little more difficult, but everyone is f*cked up in some way.

 

Example, I used to think when I was in my teens that everyone was better then me and had better families, then I realized that everyone has a messed up family and everyone is just plain weird (mostly in a good way).

 

rule # 1 you have to like who you are to think that other people will like you too.

 

The hobbies suggestion is great, I have tons of them and I meet great friends that way. I also just so happen to pick things I am really good at which helps me feel good about myself when being compared to other people. But I am not snobbish about it, I am very supportive which is how I am friends with these people and admired for my skills in these hobbies and I admire them.

[Heartbreak2]

If I could do this I believe I could get anywhere in life.

 

I feel you on this one. But i Truly believe is a phobia! Just recently my friend was making fun of me i forgot why but he was intimating how i said hi to his parents.....Which was with my head down and NEVER LOOKING AT THEM IN THE FACE. Really Funny But it really hurt me...then my husband was waiting for me across the street and he goes why do you walk like you are ashamed....... I hate the SUMMER Because of how many ppl are outside. Daylight savings came sorta early this year for me!.I also notice i noticed that what gets me nervous is while i am walking having ppl walk my direction and looking at me If i dont have my keys or phone in my hands i will shribble up into a ball .I HATE IT. I also think it has to do with self-esteem i have NONE....... i completely changed after i had my daughter soo regardless of how skinny i got or what ever everything just wasn't right!. I am just going to start to put my self in situations i can't get out of..i am going to try to walk with my head up high and not think of others...i noticed when i have something on my brain to think of rather than just nothing i kinda forget i am walking alone.... and by the time i get to my destination i am like oh sht that walk wasn't that bad.

 

 

So starting monday I have to do some self emproving i am going to walk out with out a cellphone, purse, ipod, or keys which are my saviors......NOTHING IN MY HANDS.......and see how that goes

[CanadaGuy]

I spend sooo much time worrying about what other people think of me. It sucks and I have no good advice to give. I mean I post on here and one person calls me crazy and I spend the rest of the day being very upset about it.

 

Only worry what people think, that respect you & YOU respect them.

 

I don't car what most people think of me, and if I did I would not have succeded as I have. I was told many many times "that can't be done" perfect reason to do it.

 

Get back to your self esteem, probably you worry because your self esteem. Are you in the best shape you can be? Is the glass half full or half empty? Half full attitude has a happier day.