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Sweet or a turnoff?


Dragonflys

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Dragonflys

Hi everyone

 

I am 28 and my girlfreind who is also 28 told me today she found it interesting that she is the first serious girfreind (as she put it) that I have had. She knows that I have had two previous relationships that were purely sexual.

 

Given the fact that we are both still working each other out with regards to the possibility of a long term relationship, would knowing this fact be a turnoff to her?

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Not necessarily, it might even be a turn on. You have to understand that relationships work out because of what each party presents to the other as well as in spite of what each party presents to the other. It's the physical, chemical and intellectual mixture of two spirits that determines the longevity of the relationship.

 

She should be very flattered that you care for her in more than just a sexual way. She obviously likes you in many ways or she wouldn't be around.

 

It is a pretty bad idea to talk about past relationships with a person you are dating, except ever so briefly. Dating, whether it's strictly for sex or not, is a period in which we learn and develop as a social person in preparation for meeting Mr. or Ms. Right.

 

You are worrying too much here. Just be yourself and let things move in whatever direction they will. But if you are really interested in this lady, go slow sexually and don't even give her the slightest hint you have her around just for sex.

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  • 2 weeks later...

A man that establishes his first (formative) sexual relationships on sex alone would certainly set off alarm bells in my head. I'm willing to bet that you're girlfriend thinks you may just be after her for sex. I would be thinking: Does he really care about me as a person? If we break up will I be "just another slut" that he slept with?

 

To show your girlfriend that you feel differently about her, go out and do things together. Have days together when you don't have sex, and remember to appreciate her each and every day. Last, but not least, keep your past escapades in your head. Good luck.

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