I am Puzzled with this situation

[Iambitlost]

I have found my self in an interesting and confusing situation (well at least for me). I am currently attending college and am in a class with a girl who sends a large range of mixed signals. This lady will flat out refuse to acknowledge my presence with any sort of glance my way what so ever typically. However, during one of the few in-class group projects we have had, apparently I had gained her attention with a few witticisms and jokes. During this time she stared intently at me and would basically interrogate me with multiple questions while at the same time practically ignoring the group. My interactions with her of course don't end there

 

This girl is very beautiful and highly articulate, but seems to be highly reserved. Yet whenever we have talked at various points in the course, she had no problem talking my ear off. Also, whenever other guys would try to converse with her she would often appear very uninterested. But that isn't the case with me.

 

That is the relevant background info, but here is what has my mind completely in a twist and has me absolutely dumbfounded. Over the weeks in this course, this woman in question has had no problems initiating conversations with me and I with her. Each time we are dialoguing she shows exceedingly recognizable interest in me with body gestures and more, yet when no contact has been initiated it's like I don't even exist to her. No glances my way, no smiles toward me, nothing. it's a constant cycle of back and forth between the two.

 

I know I missed out on one opportunity to retrieve her phone number, but these circumstances currently have me wondering if there is still any true love interest at all? I like to consider myself a gentlemen that doesn't like to be overly aggressive and sort of harass a lady to get a date. I am not the most spontaneous person in the world. As well as that, I can be a bit reserved too. One reason why I haven't been extremely discrete and blunt about my interest in her is because I am not a huge risk taker and she sends such mangled mixed signals. All indications point to the fact she probably doesn't have a boyfriend, but I can't be sure on that.

 

The obvious advice would be to just grow a pair and be completely real, but besides that does anyone have any words of encouragement and advice or have experienced a similar situation? The quarter is almost up and I am undecided if I want to make a strong aggressive move or not. These strong aggressive moves are not typical of me and I am afraid I may scare her off completely in a botched attempt as I have little experience in attempts to do as such. But it most likely will end up as a last ditch measure.

 

Thanks for reading into my current dilemma.

[Faithless1979]

Does this girl facebook? If she does you could start chatting a bit more on there; away from college. From what you say, it does sound as though she likes you. It's the eye contact thing that's a give away and the body language you mention, when you do interact IMO

 

The bit where you talk about her not acknowleging you, after the lack of contact, it really could be that she is afraid of rejection and a little insecure. I say this, as this is what I stupidly do if I like someone too. Doing it at the moment with the bloke I like. I talk to him in spits and spirts, but when he's outside the class I daren't even look or talk to him. (don't ask why).

 

IMO you have nothing to lose by letting her know you like her. Go on grow a pair!! hehe

[Iambitlost]

Well that's reassuring:).

 

I hope that bloke you like is able to read your intent properly.

 

Yes she does facebook, but I don't know her last name unfortunately. Guess I better get on top of that.

 

But one thing I'd like to clarify as I am still unsure if I am firmly in the "i like you as a friend" zone now or if I am still in the relationship-potential zone. The first time we've talked in class as mentioned before, she would ask questions galore about me. The latter few couple of times we have conversed (with days of no communication, while attending the same class, spaced in between) she hardly attempted to find out more about myself. Instead the conversation almost completely centered around her. Yet she was still as enthusiastic as ever to talk to me. The change in her conduct on top of other things, makes me wonder...

[TheEnigma2000]

she could possibly be going through a tough time in her life. and doesn't want to show much interest. thats just a guess....but yea. in all honesty, i think you should just be yourself. no "aggressive" approaches, none of that. just be yourself. if you APPEAR as one kind of person to get her, then act like a totally different person, she'll snipe you out from miles away. don't try to be something you're not. be honest with her AND yourself. if she doesn't like you for you, then she's not worth it. go with the flow dude

[confused_2008]

I'm just going to throw my opinion out about the facebook suggestion above. I say avoid contacting her through facebook first. Get to know her in person and get her phone number. It's too easy for people to be flakey through facebook, IMO. I don't like finding out about people I'm interested in dating through facebook, either. It just seems to work out so much better getting to know them in real life.

[MsDazed_N_Confused]

Why don't you initiate a conversation with her the next time, suggest studying together or having lunch or coffee after class. Just a casual, i am going for a coffee wanna join? Or something.

I have to be honest though, your thread interested me as i am in a similar situation, and i would love my crush to just do that as i am too much of a chicken to do it myself.