Long Distance Thing Part 2 - need male perspective.

[J]

I am visiting a guy who I just started dating. He is a long distance romance. I really like him and I'm sure he likes me. (ie he's flown down to visit me, has flown me up to visit him, we talk every night for a couple hours on the phone when we are apart, correspond by e-mail etc.) The thing I'm concerned about is that I know that he has corresponded to other females through the internet classified sites.

 

I have been up front with any new male that I encounter that I'm dating someone...at what point will a guy do the same thing?? I mean, he still wants to get together with other chicks to at least hang out because he just moved to the state a few months ago and does nothing but work. I can understand he wants companionship close by, so, should I be suspicious or trust him until I find out he's starting to become attracted to someone else??

 

It isn't official or anything, but I'm not interested in dating anyone else. Neither does he by the way he is acting (at least around me)and what he says.

 

I'm not his keeper and don't intend to be, but I also don't want to get my heart broken.

 

J

 

P.S. everyone at his work knows that he is seeing me, a few friends know, and he has mentioned me to his parents (which he rarely mentions girls to them)

[Tony T]

Until you've been around someone a very long time, there is no basis for trust in the strictest sense. However, only you can bestow your trust on someone else based on your very own personal requirements and experiences.

 

If he is the one who told you he is searching the classifieds and corresponding, that's great. However, it would be my judgement that if he is really fond of you, he would use avaiable male and female friends to occupy his time socially away from work. Searching for people in the classifieds implies looking for special qualities and, whether they say it or not, most of the ladies that post ads there are LOOKING for something special. I think you are in a danger zone with this.

 

Long distance relationships seldom work out. Regardless of the long phone calls, the intermittant trips to see each other, unless one of you physically moves to where the other is so there can be a conventional courtship, taking this to a greater level will be very difficult.

 

I have heard of a number of really successful long distance meetings over the Internet that have resulted in marriages but one or the other moved so both of them could be together.

 

Back to your question. If this guy is normal and has normal levels of testosterone and other required hormones, he can and will be attracted to other ladies. Whether or not he acts on this is his call. You are not around. Short of having him followed, there is no way you'll ever know his actions.

 

After learning President Clinton talked to members of Congress on the phone while getting oral sex from Monica Lewinsky while his wife was 100 feet away in the Rose Garden, I became convinced anything is possible in relationships. (And all this was in the context of a "short-distance" relationship)

[hassan]

You should trust this guy. Because the fact that he mentioned you to his parents, that is a sign that you should trust him. Does he seem like the guy who would date other girlz while he date's you? If he has olther *girlz* then dont worry bout it unless he does something. But a relation ship is based on trust. You must trust your partner. Well do you guys live together? Do any other girlz call his house and talk to him for hours. How does he talk to them? But fot the info that you have given me i think that he is a keeper

I am visiting a guy who I just started dating. He is a long distance romance. I really like him and I'm sure he likes me. (ie he's flown down to visit me, has flown me up to visit him, we talk every night for a couple hours on the phone when we are apart, correspond by e-mail etc.) The thing I'm concerned about is that I know that he has corresponded to other females through the internet classified sites. I have been up front with any new male that I encounter that I'm dating someone...at what point will a guy do the same thing?? I mean, he still wants to get together with other chicks to at least hang out because he just moved to the state a few months ago and does nothing but work. I can understand he wants companionship close by, so, should I be suspicious or trust him until I find out he's starting to become attracted to someone else?? It isn't official or anything, but I'm not interested in dating anyone else. Neither does he by the way he is acting (at least around me)and what he says. I'm not his keeper and don't intend to be, but I also don't want to get my heart broken.

 

J P.S. everyone at his work knows that he is seeing me, a few friends know, and he has mentioned me to his parents (which he rarely mentions girls to them)