MN randomguy Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Any update Steph? Link to post Share on other sites
Jess5515 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 On 3/10/2009 at 1:01 PM, Stephyotis said: Of course women are happy. There is nothing wrong with being particular about what makes us so. Honestly, I DONT want my life to be a soap opera. I want a happy, simple life. I'm just confused right now, which I don't think is a crime, nor an attempt to dramatize my life. I came here looking for some advice, which means I obviously haven't made up my mind. I know this may not get a response but I’m having those same thoughts you did with your boyfriend or maybe ex-boyfriend now. I’m curious as to what you did and how this all worked out for you! Just looking for guidance or advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 (edited) i’ve been in the situation with pretty much every boyfriend I’ve had(I guess I just lose interest really quickly or something). Anyway, I’ve done a lot of research on the topic. The consensus seems to be that this rarely gets better and ending it , as hard as it may be, is in order. Because it’s really hard to explain to your bf who loves you that you just aren’t feeling it anymore. This doesn’t happen to all couples. Not saying it will be the same infatuation period, but it shouldn’t just be a loss of passion completely. It wasn’t for my parents and it isn’t for a handful of people that I know. The relationship evolves and gets more comfortable, but if you are having to say to yourself you are bored, Unattracted, and he’s more just like a friend or a brother I think that is a really bad sign that you two are not romantically compatible. For me... if I start to lose interest in my bf and start getting interested in others, I know it’s dunzo. Edited March 2, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 (edited) This thread is 12 YEARS old. OP has not posted since March, 2009. Edited March 2, 2021 by introverted1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 (edited) Wow. She’s probably married to someone else now. My bad. Thanks, intro Edited March 2, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes Link to post Share on other sites
lurker74 Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 5 hours ago, Jess5515 said: I know this may not get a response but I’m having those same thoughts you did with your boyfriend or maybe ex-boyfriend now. I’m curious as to what you did and how this all worked out for you! Just looking for guidance or advice. Hey @Jess5515, the fact that you found and then responded to a message this old means it's important. I would suggest starting a new topic but in the meantime, what you are describing is not uncommon at all. There are a number of reasons but I highly suggest reading "Mating in Captivity" by Esther Perel. It's not perfect but it will provide you with a lot of context. Here's a TedTalk on the subject to get you started: 2 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted March 3, 2021 Share Posted March 3, 2021 (edited) 3 hours ago, lurker74 said: Hey @Jess5515, the fact that you found and then responded to a message this old means it's important. I would suggest starting a new topic but in the meantime, what you are describing is not uncommon at all. There are a number of reasons but I highly suggest reading "Mating in Captivity" by Esther Perel. It's not perfect but it will provide you with a lot of context. Here's a TedTalk on the subject to get you started: FANTASTIC VIDEO!! I often refer to her (Esther Perel) in my posts, I have learned a TON from her in recent years. 👍 👍 Jess5515, here is what I envision happening if you remain with a man you feel no passion for. One of these days, next week, next year, whenever, you are going to meet a man who knocks your socks off, I mean like you won't know what hit you! Such man will ignite a passion in you, he will awaken your sexuality in ways you never even dreamed. But guess what? You're in a committed relationship OR married to another man, a man who is your best friend but for whom you feel zero passion and never will. What will you do then? Cheat on him? I hope not! My advice? Break up with him. Never settle. You have no idea what's awaiting you, a love, a passion you've never experienced. Please don't deny yourself that experience, or the opportunity to have that experience, you may regret it for the rest of your life. Edited March 3, 2021 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 (edited) I always get that knocked-off-socks feeling at the beginning. I think it lasts about 6 months maximum before it fades into a bored, restless feeling 😩lol you get used to them being there and you start picking everything apart, thinking if I stay with the person this will be it, and wanting that excited, butterflies, don’t-know-where-it’s-going-to-go feeling. Like your heart is going to burst sometimes. but yeah I am hoping that I’ll learn to appreciate a more mellowed ‘passion’ as I grow as a person.😊 I’ve never had the real friendship click before either. Like where you just understand them on a deep level. I have that w my bf. But I think there’s more that has to keep the romance going in a relationship. Otherwise the “best friends” thing happens Edited March 4, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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