Author wanthimbackwithme Posted March 19, 2009 Author Share Posted March 19, 2009 God i feel so sick! Stupidly he is still on my msn contacts, although knowing him I have been blocked (nor personnal just the way he is, does it to his bro too!) but he has taken our pic off!!! Think probably is reaction to me taken mine off 2 days ago - but my god it hurts so much!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know its stupid but i am devastated! Been doing quite well tgoday now I'm just a jibbering wreck again! I took mone down in hope he'd be like where's our pic gone - well thats so back-fired on me and there's nothing I can do - can't exactly call n ask why can I???????????????????????????????????? AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I HATE THIS. Link to post Share on other sites
playlislay Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I know EXACTLY how you are feeling and its awful! Especially when you know that its your fault. He knows that you love him and that you want him back. Give him all of the time in the world. Dont get frustrated when he doesnt get back to you after a week-I done this and went mad with a nasty text-that just proved why he shouldnt get back with me. Gain some composure, chill, relax, think positively (easier said than done!) and get some help! Seriously. If you feel the need to talk to him then create a diary, let it all out. I have and its really helped me get things off of my chest (and saved my friends earholes from a broken record!). I hope that you have learnt from your mistakes because I sure have! Next time when you feel down and you have your 'black cloud' then you must open upto him/next partner and explain yourself missy. How can someone understand you and help you if you are not willing to let them. I held back on telling my bf that I thought he was seeing someone else (it really ate away from me that I had to have time to sort my head out-I didnt tell him this of course and now look! Ive lost him), I really wish that I would have confided in him instead of blocking him out. Ive also reflected on how I would feel if he had done the same to me; I would have been confused, angry, upset, unsure of where we were going etc. You must back off and give him time to think and time to miss you. I went about it the wrong way by begging, pleading, giving him a stupid 'I accept that we are over' letter (As advised by some bloody website-done me no favours, think I made it worse!), when all along I should have backed off. Now its too late, three months down the line and I know he doesnt want me. It hurts. ( You must learn to be a better person and to open up more. You cant keep doing this to people that you love and its a shame that you have only just realised this. ( Link to post Share on other sites
playlislay Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 He knew he was hurting me, but didn't stop the "pulling away, shutting me out" act until I decided i'd had enough. Can I just ask something about this......?? Does that mean that you lead him on to believe that it was OK for him to pull away from you and shut him out, until one day you told the truth that you couldnt take it? My bf done that to me! He cheated early on, I stayed with him but would push him away every now and then. He said he could take it and that he loved me, and that it was ok. Blah blah blah. I pushed him away big time on one occassion and THATS when he told me he had had enough............WTF?!! Why didnt he tell me BEFORE?! Now Ive lost him because of bloody communication problems. Dont let people think that its ok to do things if its not. I think the blame was on both sides if what I guessed is true................. Tut tut. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wanthimbackwithme Posted March 23, 2009 Author Share Posted March 23, 2009 Well done the NC - been 6 long harrowing days!!! He called me 2day! Just asked how I was I said fine and asked how he was, all good then he asked if I could do him a favour and get all the car stuff out of the loft (lights and stuff) as he was going to get the car all done. So I just said yes and he continued to say that he was going to do with all the car and that he was taking the bumper to the workshop etc etc I just replied OK then and bye!!!! Was this too harsh????? Didn't want to be the 'I love you, I need you, I want you' clingy winger again! Although I do love,want & need him very very much! Have I done the right thing - I was so matter of fact - I didn't even ask when he was picking the stuff up and he never said? Am I really hoping for too much that maybe he just wanted to speak to me and maybe wants to see me and has got the car as an excuse??? OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! NC STINKS!!!!!!!! What do you all think - am I being silly and just sitting in wishful thinking mode? Thanks morrow! And playlislay - Ohh I have learnt the most valuble lesson of my life - never again! Link to post Share on other sites
Author wanthimbackwithme Posted March 25, 2009 Author Share Posted March 25, 2009 Since he called on Monday to ask if I'd sort the stuff from the loft for him I've not heard anything regarding when he's coming to get the bits?? What do you make of this? Is he waiting for me to call to say it's all ready for him? I'm so bloody confused! Plus he still not asked for the rest (which is the majority) of his clothes & aftershaves? What do you all make of this? Surely if he had no intention of coming home he would just take them and be done with??? Please 'males' help me put here - i'm going round the bend!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Author wanthimbackwithme Posted March 26, 2009 Author Share Posted March 26, 2009 Can anyone tell me what they think - I feel like I'm losing the plot and really need some advice please. I called him just now he check to see if he had collected is van which was still here (maybe it had been nicked) and he said yes and went on to have little chit chat about what he is going to do with the car etc. Why is he bothering to tell me if I mean nothing to him? I know I've hurt him and I am hurting everyday mising him so much and with all his clothes etc around me - what does it all mean? Someone please help me fathom this out. Feeling sick with upset right now and ust want someone/anyone to help me out here. Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Want......, I really feel for you and hope that all goes well, for both of you in the future. Having said that, I think that you should be aware of some things. Although you admit to being at fault for shutting him out, you seem to only be thinking about yourself and your feelings. YOU miss him, YOU love him, YOU need him. What about what HE needs? I know you're sorry and want to make it up to him, but have you tried to put yourself in HIS position? I know that if my wife or lover, with whom I have shared love, sex, dreams, hopes, plans, would suddenly shut me out of her life for 7 WEEKS!!! I would be devastated!! The pain he has gone thru must have been enormous!! The trust issues, the fear that it might happen again, the anger, the confusion he is feeling, are very real. I know you're hurting, but he is too. I know your kids are confused and sad, and I'm sure, that whatever he says, he is thinking about them as well. NONE of this is going to get better, any time soon. The things that you can do is to be sure that HE is who you love, and want and that you will do ANYTHING and will wait for however long it takes, for him be sure of you. Your getting professional help, is a very good start, but it is only a start. Keeping a journal of all your feelings , and what you want him to know, is also a good idea. If you are SURE that he KNOWS how much you love him and are committed to him, then let him be, and go on with your life. Prepare for the future, either with him or without him, hope and pray(if it helps) for the best. This way you can rest your mind, knowing that you have done all you can . God bless.......Jack Link to post Share on other sites
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