Abby Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Okay here it goes. I am divorced and the man I left my husband for is the ex boyfriend of my sister. I was not the cause of their break up she did a good job of that on her own. He has 2 children by her which live with him. She abandoned them and I basically have helped raise them since they were babies. I was helping to take care of them even before he and I got involved with eachother. My sister and I have never gotten along. When she and my boyfriend's mother found out we were romantically involved they caused alot of problems for us. We lived together at one time but it only lasted for 8 months because of the problems they caused. I was okay to be the aunt and permanent babysitter but not okay to live in the home with them and be the mother my sister never was. She didn't want anything to do with them until she found out I was involved with their father. As far as their grandmother goes she doesn't think ANY woman is ever going to be good enough to take care of her grandchildren except her. Most of the problems with them lay in the past. My sister is not as spastic about it as she used to be and I have already figured that his mother is always going to put her two cents in. I have basically learned to ignore anything they say and not let it affect me the way that it used to. Even though my boyfriend and I don't live together anymore we have still continued our relationship but I am really starting to think that it is never going to go anywhere. I asked him 8 months ago to marry me and he turned me down. His reasons were because at the time I wasn't employed and didn't have my driver's license ( I don't have my license because of a severe phobia of driving, I am learning to overcome it and am working on getting them), also because certain people( mentioned above) make too many negative comments about our situation and I just do not meet his expectations for a life mate. When he said those things all I heard him saying was," You are not good enough for me." He goes on and on about how important it is to him that I remain his "bestfriend" if we ever parted ways. I have told him before that if we ever split up we would no longer be bestfriend's. He talks about how we are friends more than anything so I asked him does that mean it's okay for me to sleep with my other male friends? Of course he said "no" because he is my boyfriend. I thought friend boyfriend or what. I just think it's pretty crappy that he wanted me enough 5 years ago to have me leave my husband over him but he doesn't want me now. I am starting to feel like he is just keeping me around to have a regular "bed buddy" and "bestfriend" until someone who he thinks is good enough for him comes along to replace me. I just don't know how to handle this situation anymore or what to do about it. Does ANYONE have any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
VASH THE STAMPEDE Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 You should really move on ,there is to much stress in a relationship like that .Plus he rejected you. If by slim chance you ever get married to this jerk, it'll cause alot of problems for you Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 i just cant understand how you can date someone who has kids by your own sister. if you married him, you would be marrying your (ex boyfriend/ brother in law(sort of)) and your neices or nephews....come on now...there are so many fish in the sea....why pick the ones that are pretty much related to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Abby Posted October 9, 2003 Author Share Posted October 9, 2003 He is not really related to me, neither by blood nor marriage. My sister is just unfortunately the incubator who gave birth to his children. She wanted to abort his first child, fortunately no one would give her the money then gave him up to his father when he was 5 months old because she got caught in bed with a 15 yr. old boy. She knew my boyfriend was the father of the second child but when he refused to get back together with her just because she was pregnant she went and told another man he was the father and let my boyfriend's second child believe for 4 yrs. that someone else was his daddy. When the DNA tests were done to prove who the father was she acted surprised then called my boyfriend and told him that he better get over there and get his son because she couldn't handle him anymore and she was going to hurt him. I do not feel guilty one bit about being in a relationship with her ex. She screwed my first husband several times throughout my marriage to him and she tried to screw my second husband but he wouldn't do it because he knew what a tramp she was and still is. She and I are sisters by blood not by choice and regardless of what anyone says blood is not always thicker than water. My being with him was not because I couldn't find anyone else outside of the family, it just ended up that way. Link to post Share on other sites
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