I think my friends girlfriend is cheating on him... with his best mate!

[agl]

Hi everyone, I'm new to the site and would appreciate some help with a really difficult situation that I find myself in the middle of.

I'm a student and rent a house with three other guys, one of their girlfriends (guy A's girlfriend) also lives with us as she has a job near to where we live and hasn't really got anywhere else to stay at the moment. I think they've been together for just under two years have a pretty hit and miss relationship; he's quite submissive and needy and would do anything to please her, whilst she's very bossy, manipulative and always gets her own way. Now, its not at all that I don't like her, we get on just fine but I need to describe their relationship as I see it.

Recently, I've noticed that she's been getting particulatly close to one of the guys (guy B) who I live with and I'm fairly sure that she's been cheating on him. I first noticed something was odd when all five of us were in the room together watching a film and guy B and the girl were under a duvet together really close and staring into each others eyes whilst guy A was watching the T.V. I thought it was a little weird but quickly forgot about it until the next day when exactly the same thing was happening. They were both lying all over each other whilst her boyfriend was oblivious, either as he trusts her so much or hasn't much common sense or awareness. When guy A is off at Uni during the day, guy B and guy A's girlfriend lie in bed together watching T.V and sometimes at night if guy A has already gone to bed they go up to his room together, shut the door and then god knows whats happening. One night we went out and when we got back guy A had gone to bed and I walked in on guy B and the girl under the duvet together 'talking' as they called it. I was too drunk to remember exactly what I saw!

Tonight the three of them were under the same cover and she kept telling her boyfriend that he was making it uncomfortable for her so she was lying with her head on guy B's chest and her legs wrapped around his, while guy A just sat there on his own in the corner... it was embarrasing to watch to be honest as I can't believe that she gets away with it and is so damn obvious.

I've discussed this with the other guy that I live with and he's noticed exactly the same things that I have. I've even asked guy B and the girl if anything is going on and they deny everything but quite unconvincingly.

Basically I don't know what to do from here as her boyfriend is such a nice guy and it would devestate him if he found out, whilst I know that what they're doing is wrong... I mean, even if they're not sleeping together it's hardly appropriate behaviour to begin with - seeing as she pays no attention to her boyfriend and is all over his friend all of the time.

Thanks for reading all that, some advice would be much appreciated!

[konfuzd]

If the BF is really needy and submissive as you say, he may be scared to approach the issue for fear of losing the girl. Some people stay in toxic relationships because they fear the alternative of being alone.

 

Since you are all in the same house, and the behavior is going on while the bf is right there, why not just casually bring it up while you're all in the same room? Either that, or ask to speak with the BF in the kitchen while the cuddling is going on, and ask him what he thinks about what's happening on the couch. Tell him you think it's a bit strange and want to ensure he's being treated fairly in the relationship because he's a good guy and deserves better.

 

Since you've already talked to B and he's denying it, he obviously doesn't feel guilty or plan to stop on his own unless guy A steps up and does something.

 

As a friend to both, I'm sure you don't want to get in the middle, but I think it would be a noble thing to express your concern to guy A, and let him decide what to do with the knowledge you give him.

[lostsunsets]

Ask him "Why are you letting her cuckold you with "B"?

[Lucky_One]

I'd probably be pretty blunt, and just say in the middle of the movie, "Sorry, but I'm going to go watch TV in my room. Watching you two all over each other is making me sick to my stomach."

[agl]

Thanks for the response. To be honest Konfuzd I think that you've hit the nail on the head really about the fact that her boyfriend is too scared of losing her as she means so much to him and would be very unlikely to do anything unless it was really obvious what was going on. I tried speaking to guy B again today and was assured that nothing was going on but it didn't wash at all. I think that now I've exhausted talking to them about it so really have few options:

1) Tell her boyfriend that I have concerns about how close they are.

2) Say that I don't like her and that she has to move out (she shouldn't be living here as it is) and then they wouldn't really get to see each other very often.

3) Do nothing and see how it plays out.

[Dexter Morgan]

Get proof and tell Guy A.

 

Friends don't let friends date hos.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Thanks for the response. To be honest Konfuzd I think that you've hit the nail on the head really about the fact that her boyfriend is too scared of losing her as she means so much to him and would be very unlikely to do anything unless it was really obvious what was going on. I tried speaking to guy B again today and was assured that nothing was going on but it didn't wash at all. I think that now I've exhausted talking to them about it so really have few options:

1) Tell her boyfriend that I have concerns about how close they are.

2) Say that I don't like her and that she has to move out (she shouldn't be living here as it is) and then they wouldn't really get to see each other very often.

3) Do nothing and see how it plays out.

 

# 2 then followed by # 1 a few weeks later.

 

Remove her first. Then she is limited if she wants to try and get back at you.