** Boyfriend ignoring me- do i maintain the NO CONTACT rule? i'm struggling to cope!!

[bubblegum]

No sweetie, what you've described is horrible! Anyone deserves better than what he's done to you. Absolutely decide that you are done, how could you otherwise? How could you ever trust he wouldn't do this again?

[Toodle]

What a total jerk.

[Charmaine_Champagne]

ok so if u read my original thread at the beginning you'll know the story but basically i went no contact with my ex, he ignored me for 20 days then after 20 days sent a text msg saying ''howcome i haven't heard from u?''.. i ignored that lame text but..

 

UPDATE: today (10days aftet that last lame text) i got a text from him and it was blank! it said nothing, just a blank text from his number to my number after 30 days no contact (apart from the lame text at 20days in between) what do i do? so far i've ignored it. he treated me bad but i miss him. do i maintain no contact and do u think he will try to contact me again? ideally i would like him to phone me so i could get an answer. i need advice on this.

 

and more importantly, why do u think he sent me a blank text?! if he wanted to talk to me surely he could have the balls to call me, is this just his way of testing me, as in to see if i respond or is he trying to crawl back in a cowardly way? or is this just a childish game/mind f*ck?! what do u guys think? i need outside opinions, thanks!! x

[Island Girl]

and more importantly, why do u think he sent me a blank text?! if he wanted to talk to me surely he could have the balls to call me, is this just his way of testing me, as in to see if i respond or is he trying to crawl back in a cowardly way? or is this just a childish game/mind f*ck?! what do u guys think? i need outside opinions, thanks!! x

 

Do not respond.

 

You need to forget him entirely.

 

He is a complete jackass.

 

And you can do better.

 

He is not worth thinking about let alone responding to.

 

And yes, it is some kind of twisted game he is playing. So do not play back. Don't take the bait. DO not show yourself to be insecure and needy -- or show him he can treat you this way and yet still get to talk to you.

 

You are better than this. You deserve better than this.

[Charmaine_Champagne]

thank you, i know you're right.. still driving me crazy though

 

why is he doing this?! -sending a blank text? any more thoughts?

[Island Girl]

Because he is a thoughtless loser.

 

We are not thoughtless losers so we can't begin to speculate on his warped thought processes.

 

Be glad you found out he was such a pathetic freak now and not when you were married with children. *shudder*

[Charmaine_Champagne]

thanks, i think i need to stop blaming myself over this and stop thinking ''maybe it's my fault, what if i'd done this differently... etc'' that is the way he wants me to think, he wants to put the blame on me when really he is the one with the problem

[You'reasian]

We don't have a profile of your man or exactly what circumstances, if purely his own, are causing this. Regardless, its probably best that you keep up NC and move on.

[Island Girl]

that is the way he wants me to think, he wants to put the blame on me when really he is the one with the problem

 

He hasn't said anything about what he wants you to think.

 

You are reacting that way yourself.

 

You need to stop torturing yourself and just realize he is a thoughtless loser with major issues.

 

Now just do your best to let it all go. Move on day by day and don't beat yourself up anymore.

[Charmaine_Champagne]

i know but i mean the way he was putting the blame on me when i posted in my original thread about how he was claiming not to have received my texts and claiming i was ignoring him when i had infact been calling/texting him, he was the one ignoring me but this was all a game to mess with me and i guess to put the blame on me so that if he ever decided to crawl back he could claim ignorance and say i was the one who did the ignoring. but anyway that is irrelevant now, you're right. either way i need to move on from this.. even if in a months time he begs me to take him back (which has happened before) i still have to move on as i can't be treated like this. i'm maintaining the NC and thanks for your advice. i really think this guy has major issues, he doesn't act normally.. i'm not gonna get over 6 years in afew weeks but i do need to move on with my life so onwards and upwards i guess:)

[aussiewoman]

I feel very deeply for you, Charmaine. I am like you and love very deeply and if there is a break up I find it very hard to convince myself to let go. I have just read an e-book by Cucan Pemo which you might find interesting called "Bring back the love of your life" so if you still want this man back it might be enlightening to read it.

Everybody is telling you to forget him, but you don't want to. I am in a fairly similar position. I broke up 6 weeks ago for a number of reasons and have been hoping he will ring me or get in touch. It is the most painful thing in the world for me. I am trying to control myself and not ring him because that would give him control again.

If you are interested in continuing this thread, I will tell you more, especially about the e-book.

You have my deepest sympathies and I wish I could hug you.

[jhigh420]

Sorry to hear you've been going through this. Breaking up with someone is always hard, but I know you've already made a huge mistake if you went through this before and it's happening again and you even care what's going on with him. The truth is, if you're not happy it is better to be by yourself. The reason he's acting this way is not important, but your happiness is. I understand you may be lonely and miss his company but being single you will be far happier albeit lonely at times.

Don't overanalyze any of his behavior, just get the hell out of this relationship. Don't be as immature as he was by ignoring his text, tell him you want to meet up with him and make it somewhere memorable such as an anniversary restaurant you went to or where you first met him. When you meet him there, steel yourself and be as cold and calm as possible. Then, completely end it. Explain to him why you're ending it and don't buy any excuses he has. Remember, this is about your happiness, not comforting him or giving him a THIRD chance.

I know this is extraordinarily difficult to do, so make sure you practice and visualize how you will handle it if things go badly(tears, begging, he admits to cheating, says he's been depressed, etc.). It is absolutely essential that YOU end it so you will have closure and the status of being the one who ended the relationship.

Trust me, you don't want to deal with the negative emotions of being the one dumped - you already are feeling that way and it's time to reverse this.

When love hurts, 9 times out of ten it's times to move on.

 

I wish you the best of luck and happiness in your future.