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How long/many dates before it's a relationship?


tigereyes12

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tigereyes12

No sex, but everything else, makes initiative to see me every week, seems to like spending time around (me, obviously enough and) my friends, is touchy feely around them/in public, etc. We just haven't had The Talk...and I have a feeling it's kind of implied, but what do you guys think?

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Have the talk so that you both can see how each other feels. Don't knock him in the head with a club or anything; just tell him you like spending time with him and if he feels the same, which it obviously seems that way, then perhaps an exclusive relationship is the next step. And if he says no thanks then wack him.

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SoulSearch_CO

It's so individualized based on the couple since people are so different. There's no set number. We had sex very early on in our relationship and I know normally women associate sex to equaling a committed relationship when the man may not have that in mind at all, so I did my best to avoid that. I just waited until he started referring to me as his girlfriend, or him as my boyfriend. LOL We didn't have any grand "talk." I especially knew it was on, so to speak, when he was introducing me to other people as his GF. How does your SO introduce you to people? Just by your name, or as his GF and then your name? If you can't get a hint that way, maybe you could sit down and ask him. I'd keep it pretty casual, though. Maybe during a date when you're having a particularly good time you say something along the lines of having a great time with him, you see something good here, you're not seeing other people. It doesn't have to be the high-pressure conversation that some women make it out to be.

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I've never had "the talk" with anyone. It's unnecessary. If you're doubting about your status with this person, then you simply need to bring it a step further, until you feel like it's a secure relationship.

 

Personally, I generally feel like we're heading to a relationship after our first kiss. I don't kiss just anyone, and generally not until several dates at least. I feel like we ARE in a real relationship when we start having sex. Sex is important, and I do it with even fewer people than kissing. Then, if we start having awesome sex regularly, then it's definitely turning into solid relationship.

 

The physical aspects are what makes a relationship clear to me. "The talk" means nothing if you don't even connect on a physical level (yet).

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collegekid491
Sex is important, and I do it with even fewer people than kissing

 

Well I certainly hope so! ;)

 

Kinda implied generally, although I always do the talk just to confirm it, don't wanna call her my gf in front of the guys to have her pull me aside and say 'you havn't asked me out yet'... :s

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