Should I try or give up on this relationship

[passionateperfection]

There is this person that I've been seeing and the thing is I'm crazy about her despite our differences. She goes to school and I graduated school last year and have been working since. There are a few things that bother me about this relationship. First off, we were together while i was going to school for about a year. After i had graduated and started working, i was so focused on work i lost focus on the relationship therefore killing her and the relationship all together. This then resulted in her rebounding with a guy she knew for a while. Then when i realized what i had lost, we got back together but we became friends... with benefits while she was still going with the guy. We've been this way for a good 6 months or so and it's really not healthy because my feelings never left her and she still has feelings for me also. So I want her to break it with the guy and she's so jumbled up with school and everything, she won't do it. Should we keep at this hoping it'll all make sense to her and break up with the guy or should i just stop all together because maybe it'll never work out. On one hand i think she will because she still loves me but then i could be an idiot and she really doesn't and it's more convenient and less drama for her if she stays because she would then have to deal with the break up which she won't be able to handle stress wise in addition to school and everything else. What to do?? Added that i'm trying not to talk to her, which i think is really a chicken way out, but only to help me avoid her because every chance i can talk to her i want to get back with her.

[VASH THE STAMPEDE]

I think you should stop this faketitious relationship with her right away.shes using you on the side.It wont work out .

Not calling really makes you right and its not "chicken".ITS SMART.

[silentlydirect]

Friends with benifits is never easy. Two people have a difficult time realating unless it involves intamacy. Change of heart hits unexpectedly. Hoping that it will end without devastation having to begin. Difficulty choosing what is right for me. Now walking blindly.

 

Seems your at a point where your feelings have re-cindled and struck a nerve again. I think that people should be able to express themselves without hesitation. Then again I'm living in a dream world, or just really selfish. Consideration for others can sometimes cause a misinterpretation of our true meanings. It is extreamely difficult to put ourselves in someone else's shoes. When handling this situation remember that you are the beholder and have the best answer. I and everyone else can only empithize with you. You have all the information you just need to ask YOURSELF the right qestions. Think of the relationship and her as a person, where she is in life. If she is happy/sad, and how important both relationships are to her? What roles do two men play in this females life. What makes having two people better than one. Does she fear a solid realationship because of some sort of insecurity. Your still around even after all that time. Why? Is this your second chance to show her you won't get caght up in work, while just in case she has a back up? Or is the back up you? Remeber you feel strongly about not complicating this more than your ready to deal with at this point in time. Isn't that what you said you think she is feeling. That she dosen't want to deal with a break up right now. Because it would just cause too much stress. Don't you think it would be more difficult to jumble two relationships than to let one go. That would give more free time, less guilt, more consentration on school. I would think. It's been six months and you are not comfortable. I'd say your straying away is similar, to ending a relationship. Only it is probably harder for you to do this because you want something more. Where as, with her I believe the situation it's set up exactaly how she wants it. After six months doutful she's confused. She gets to have her cake and eat it too. If she fights with you she got him. If her and the other man are not getting along well she'll come running to you. Like wise with fun things to do. Which one of you two has something more fun to going on tonight, he11 maybe even, just to screw. That sucks for you. Sorry to be a bit blunt. That is the easiest way to say what you mean. Anyways, here is were thing fall into your hands: you can either buck up and say something(possible getting what you want(wich, even you sound doutful of) or you can say nothing and walk away leaving things unreasoved, occuping your time do something more productive than questioning/struggling to understand someone else's way of thinking.

The question should not be what is important to her, but what is important to you and will make you happy.

 

 

This are things of my own interpratation which you may not agree. You have the right to choose. This is me. That is you.

 

Him or me * Me or you.

silentlydirect