yes Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 I don't know if it's just my luck lately or guys in my city have a major lack of machismo. It seems there's no such thing as "being a man". Examples: I was walking down the street, carrying some window blinds taller than me. A guy I've met catches up to me and talks to me for a good 10 mins. He didn't even ask if i need help with the blinds! Now, certainly i didn't NEED help, but come on now, a man shouldn't feel comfortable walking next to a woman carrying a huge thing & not offering help. Two guys I've spent some time with recently talk openly about the fact that they have no sense of orientation, and repeatedly ask me for directions. Shouldn't a man - not hide, but at least not accentuate the fact that he's lost 99% of the time?? Where's the "I'm a man, I can find my way, dammit!"?? One of the above guys is 24 or 25, and still doesn't have a driving licence. What the hell's that, I ask you? He doesn't have any circumstances or preoccupations preventing him from learning - he just didn't. He also asked if I wanna have lunch; and it turned out he didn't have enough cash for a HOTDOG (which we ended up eating b/c I was in a rush), so he had to go withdraw money. I mean, how can a man walk around with empty pockets, and especially ask a gal to eat together in such a case?? Am I missing something here? What happened to treating us like WOMEN? Is it somehow my fault? I don't think so, b/c some (usually immigrant guys) treat me differently. Mind you, I'm not upset because of all this... I'm just wishing there were more manly men around. The kind who you wouldn't feel odd calling a "man" as opposed to "guy". sigh, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 PULEEZE save me from pseudo 'manly men' who drive you HOURS out of your way and miss the event entirely because their 'manliness' prevents them from admitting they are lost. UGH. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted October 9, 2003 Author Share Posted October 9, 2003 moimeme, you've been misreading me dear.......... i never said they should hide it or never ask for navigation help. but they shouldn't ACCENTUATE it & act like helpless kids wandering in the street, don't you think? in fact, making an effort to remember where they are would be nice - it's not rocket science. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 lol - i'm kind of secretly fond of that direction thing, and laugh openly at it. we've found some pretty great diners based on macho stubborness; and if he can put up with my love of spas i can put up with some of his gender programming. yes: have you heard of that new male something (culture, sexuality?) theory? this is not my area, at all, but it's a book that seeks to explain why contemporary masculine behaviour seems 'feminized' - anyone here heard of this? cheers j Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 Wasn't that Tony's post of the other day about men and women? Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 no, its a different one, it's an older one, i think Link to post Share on other sites
subtitled Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 hey, at least they're not putting on some false image and hiding behind it! and also, i think it's kind of more valid to distinguish between individuals on their own terms, than between individuals on their gender. Like, value your male friends for their personalities in terms of themselves, not their personalities in terms of their gender.... just a thought. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 Like, value your male friends for their personalities in terms of themselves, not their personalities in terms of their gender.... just a thought Oh, you radical, you! Link to post Share on other sites
subtitled Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 oh i know... i'm going to reinvigorate the non-sexual revolution Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 Hrm, I always admin I'm lost. I get lost all the time. However, I also ALWAYS ask to help a girl carry something. I always try to open the door for a girl. I'll fight off a vicious dog and beat the living **** out of a mugger, but bring a spider anywhere within 15 feet of me and I'll freak. Last person to throw a bug at me got their nose broken. I don't get mad easily. I'm not entertained by watching sports... boring. I'll play sports any time. I do not drink; beer SUCKS; it's nasty. I'm straight-edge. I'll take a daring challenge here and there. When I take my girlfriend out to eat, I pay the bill. Recently, when we pickup food she tries to beat me to paying the bill. She has beat me a couple times. I always try to pay; it's the right thing to do. Being a "man" has no clear definition. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted October 9, 2003 Author Share Posted October 9, 2003 It has no clear definition, but there're a bunch of signs that point to it. It's OK to skip SOME as long as the majority are there. And I fully appreciate my guy-friends for their personalities, but there's no way I'm dating a man who won't help carry smth heavy, or free a seat for an old/pregnant person or a small kid (i see this too much on the subway! adult men sitting on their fat asses in front of somebody clearly in need to sit) -yes Link to post Share on other sites
subtitled Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 sure, that makes sense, except wouldn't any decent *person* help someone carry something heavy or give up their seat??? as in.. women too? Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted October 10, 2003 Author Share Posted October 10, 2003 hey, good point! women, too. although with women, it has a hint of kindness to it. with men, it has a hint of protector/leader flavour. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
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