teacher...but i love my boyfriend with all my heart.. its so wrong...

March 13, 2009

So I have my boyfriend, he's 17, and I'm fifteen. Let's call him.. Cody. I have my teacher, he's 35, let's call him.. Eric.

So the beginning of the year, I though Eric was soooo cool! He was nice, funny, we had a lot in common. He was a really cool teacher and I always imagined being friends with him for several years. Actually, I knew it would happen. Lately, I have been inspired by him to also be a high school english teacher, when normally I'd go for something scientific like a coroner or artistic like a photographer. But he is so good at what he does, I aspire to be as cool of a teacher as him.

Cody... I love him so much. We've been through so much.. and I know I love him. Please don't say "zOMG u dnt <3 hm yur only 15!!!1!!1!" because I know what I feel. Plus, I'm more mature that a lot of people, I have the mind of a 20 year old. Anyways, I love him so much and he feels the same way, and I never want to lose him, we've planned to be together forever, and we're planning on getting married someday, (not engagaed though) and we're already planning to move in once I get my license..and a lot of things. I love him so much and could never love anyone but him.. He's perfect in every single way and we have so much in common and he's handsome and funny and nice and smart and sweet and... just thinking about him makes my heart float with joy!!

So, Cody was, WAS, one of Eric's favorite students, like I have been all year. Me and Cody are both very advanced in English. Just though I'd throw that in.

First, let me go into Eric's life.

It's pathetic. No offense, but it is. It's really sad. Depressing really. Anyways.

So he was going to get married, then one day, the girl just up and left him. Just left him!! No words, nothing. Just gone. He was miserable. He's confided in me and Cody (good friends) and like, he doesn't want a wife. He doesn't want to take the chance. He doesn't want kids. And he says a girlfriend would be nice, but it's not his top priority. He's pretty much given up all hope with women. All he wants is someone to love him, but not family or friends, but romantically, or, like, BEST friends. He hardly has any furniture, hardly has any friends, his family all live very far away.. he was going to leave our school and teach in some other far away country.. but I don't know what happened to that.. strange really. On then, he just has given up hope, and it's very sad. All he has is his students and his little local band. They're really good though. He's the singer. But that's like all he has.

So, over about.. hmm, a few weeks to a month he has been hinting that I'm not just a favorite student, but he has a crush on me. But like, emotionally, not because he's some creepy sex pervert. And I'm not creeped out.. because I feel so bad for him.. His life is miserable.. and he can't help but like me. And everyone can tell. Literally everyone. You hear about it in the halls at school everyday. And they know his life is depressing, so most aren't creeped out by it. They feel bad for him. They're like "oh yeah you seem like his type, smart, creative, your style, the way you act and believe in things and do things and stuff, and you're an English nerd, like him" and I'm just like "awww I'm flattered, but he's so much older than me" etc., etc. He's such a nice guy.. I feel so bad for him. And Cody said "You know he probably just can't help it. You're like perfect for him besides your age, you've probably just dominated his heart." He loves talking to me [and I, too, enjoy talking to him], we talk like friends, and he always gets a little nervous, he goes out of his way to come up to me in class and stuff and compliment my work and stuff, he gives me extra credit on lots of things, but you can tell he tries to do it without being suspicious. It's cute really, he's so sweet.

AWW! It's so sad. I thought it should be in a movie because it's so sad... hahaha.

Anyways, don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend so so much.. but with Eric liking me, he is very attractive and cool, I find myself a tad interested. Not like dating or anything. But I just want to see where things go. I'm very loyal to my boyfriend and wouldn't do anything. But if I didn't have him, I'd be some weird loner freak, and honestly, try to get with my teacher. But I've found my perfect guy so I'm not like that now. [by the way my teacher wants to quit anyways so if he lost his job because of me he wouldn't care probably. He kind of wants to stay though, and everyone says it's because of me, haha.] So, I don't know, I always have these weird dreams of being in the classroom with him alone sometime, or after schoo making something up or something and I walk up to him and then he kisses me. Then I say I promise I won't tell but I don't want things like that. Just to see what it would be like. I don't want to be "involved" though. I know it's illegal and so wrong, but it doesn't FEEL wrong. It's just.. I'm curious is all. It'd be a one time thing and nobody would find out. I just feel somewhat responsible, I want to be his love doctor or something and help him find a woman so we can move on and be friends 10 years from now, me him and Cody, like we always thought would happen, and not have any awkwardness. Just one kiss, I'm just curious. I can't stop thinking about it. Nobody knows that I feel this way and nobody will know. If I do kiss him I will tell Cody, and he will be okay with it. Just.. I'm so confused... I love Cody so much.. but I'm just curious. Is this wrong? Or no? What should I do?!

Can somebody please, PLEASE help me?!

Oh yeah his birthday is three days after mine!

I thought that was an interesting tid-bit. Haha.

Thanks to anyone that can help!!

March 13, 2009

holy crap i'm sorry that's so long. hahaha

March 13, 2009

Me and Cody also were supposed to get a referral for PDA (public display of affection) but Eric never gave us one. He probably would feel too bad. That was like 4 days ago. O:

And Cody WAS one of his favorite students because.. well we don't know why actually. Just lately he has started talking to him less and less.. strange.. yes? Haha it's because he's jealous. ): I feel so bad for him...

March 13, 2009

Well... to point out the obvious, it's illegal to have a relationship with your teacher at your age. It's also morally reprehensible for a 35 year old teacher to cross the line with his 15 year old student.

When I was in highschool, my art teacher was 30 and he had a close friendship with his star talented student. No lines were crossed until after she graduated and she turned 18. They got married a few years after that.

He's crossing a line he shouldn't be if he is coming on to you the way you desribe. He could lose his job for this at the very least.

If you do care about him- and you are as mature as you say you are... consider the position this emotional affair could place him in.

Having said so- he is the adult here, he is in the position of power, and at the age of 35- he should now better. If there is a lot of chatter going on oin the halls, it's only a matter of time before his superiors will intervene.

If he keeps this up, he will lose his jobs- if the relationship becomes physical- he would face jail time. You're 15 right? In most States that would constitute statuatory rape.

Keep your crush to yourself. A 15 year old girl and her 35 year old male teacher have no business being together.

March 13, 2009

Well the chatter going on in the halls in how close we are. And it's about his one girl.. Nikki or something being jealous because she likes him so much. Haha.

And it's not really a big deal.. it's nothing really bad. He's just really nice to me.

And he can't help it..

I don't think one kiss that nobody knowing about will be bad will it?

March 13, 2009

As pointed out, he's a pedophile lol. Its that simple.

This is what junior high is all about though, crushes on teachers, drama, confusion. I will tell you this now to spare you the grief, your not mature enough for a mature relationship (at 15, who is?) and these "feelings" for your teacher, they are your hormones. The fact of the matter is he SHOULD be more mature, and the way he acted, well lets just say... he's not as "cool" as you think he is. This happened in my school though, basically same thing, teacher got fired and won't ever be teaching again, thank goodness.

March 13, 2009

Jane says (9:53 PM):

well that's uh... interesting.

but I honestly think Cody would be pissed if you kissed Eric

Sally says (9:53 PM):

**** YOU

not if i kissed him

if he kissed me

Sally says (9:54 PM):

i would never kiss him willingly

Jane says (9:54 PM):

okay! sorry then! that was never made clear!

Sally says (9:54 PM):

okay

i mean **** you when you're like "thats uh.. interesting"

it made me feel like a freak

im going to kill myself

Jane says (9:55 PM):

well i don't know what else to say

it IS interesting.

Sally says (9:55 PM):

in a bad way or a good way?

Jane says (9:55 PM):

but I'm not like, 'ZOMG EWWWWW'

Sally says (9:55 PM):

really?

that makes me feel better

Jane says (9:55 PM):

but I'm not like, 'oh that's cool!'

Sally says (9:55 PM):

can you see from my point of view though?

Jane says (9:55 PM):

yeah

Sally says (9:56 PM):

when i see him im not like "whoa thats a 35 year old teacher of mine" when i see him im like "yo k dawg hes such a good friend"

Sally says (9:57 PM):

like with [insert science teachers name here]. im not liek "dude this is my old fart of a science teacher" im like "dude this jackass is like my ****ing grandpa i want to make him some cookies"

HAHAHAHA %%%%

Jane says (9:57 PM):

HAHHAHA

but okay.

Sally says (9:57 PM):

okay

do you think im a freak?

Jane says (9:57 PM):

no

Jane says (9:58 PM):

I mean I think it's weird that you want him to kiss you but you would never willingly kiss him, but other than that no.

Sally says (9:58 PM):

i mean i dont like him or anything.. i would never be involved with him.. i would never.. i mean.. ugh. thats awful. i mean im just curious. but if he lost self control and just kissed me once, then okay. it;d be interesting, and i'm curious. but thats it. id tell him no more and if he did anything again id kill him. no joke

Sally says (9:59 PM):

well i dont really WANT him to kiss me, i'm just curious if he would and what it would be like if he did. i really dont want to kiss him nor would i do it willingly, i'm just curious. i'm an observer

i see him as no more than a good friend.

and never will.

Jane says (9:59 PM):

ok

Sally says (9:59 PM):

the kiss is for observational purposes only.

wow i sound like a nerd

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Jane says (10:00 PM):

uh yeah, you do XD

Sally says (10:00 PM):

but does that make sense?

do i sound like a freak or weird in any way? just please be honest. im not going to kill myself or cut myself or anything retarded

i know what i think so whatever. **** everyone else haha

Jane says (10:01 PM):

hmmm. I don't think it's weird. Just like, When you have a guy friend that you're really close to like... me and isaac or me and kk or something, and you wanna know what it'd be like to kiss them, but you don't wanna actually try it, right?

Sally says (10:01 PM):

yeah!!!

OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

hahaha

Jane says (10:02 PM):

haha

is any of this making sense to anyone?! Please stop being so judgmental. I know Eric and he is not like that.

March 13, 2009

Why do women do that? When you conduct yourself in a certain way you will be judged, period. Stop being dumb this guy is 35 years old. If there ever was anything there it'd be illegal and he'd dog you out. Stick with your BF or get rid of him because either way he's got an unsure GF.

March 13, 2009

You're jailbait. Simple as that. Stay away from him til you're 18 unless you want him going to jail. People are already talking, imagine how bad it'll be once stuff actually goes down. Don't you or him screw up his life anymore.

March 13, 2009

Someone call the cops, PLEASE!!!!!:sick:

March 13, 2009

is any of this making sense to anyone?! Please stop being so judgmental. I know Eric and he is not like that.

No offence, but your really young. I would have said the same things when I was your age.

I don't think you really understand what's going on.

Think about what is driving your attraction to this teacher! First he pays a ton of attention to you. He treats you different from the other girls in your class and that makes you feel good. Second he seems to have problems in his love life, and it would make you feel awesome if you could be the fix for that. It would make you that much more important to him... right?

Don't kiss him! You can't fix his issues, because he needs to do that on his own.

Also, there is a good chance Cody is no longer one of his favorite students because he wants to drive a wedge between you two. Guys get smarter as we get older... because we have been through all this stuff a couple times before. He knows how to manipulate you.

Your whole situation is messed up. Especially the part where you want to cheat on your boyfriend with a guy who could be your dad. Creepy.

March 14, 2009

I can tell you this - this is one great way for this young guy to spend the rest of his life being labeled, both legally and socially, as a sexual predator. Every time he changes location, he will be required to register with the local police as a sexual predator.

You are a child. You no more have the mind of a 20 year old than my laundry basket does. You are spreading enough rumors at your school to get him busted and fired as it is.

If you tell one of your silly jr high friends about wanting to kiss your teacher, you KNOW that she will tell at least one other friend. And in about 3 days, the entire school will know. And someone with common sense will tell their mom.

Use some common sense, and grow up.

The Police - Don't Stand So Close To Me

Young teacher, the subject

Of schoolgirl fantasy

She wants him so badly

Knows what she wants to be

Inside her there's longing

This girl's an open page

Book marking - she's so close now

This girl is half his age

Don't stand, don't stand so

Don't stand so close to me

Don't stand, don't stand so

Don't stand so close to me

Her friends are so jealous

You know how bad girls get

Sometimes it's not so easy

To be the teacher's pet

Temptation, frustration

So bad it makes him cry

Wet bus stop, she's waiting

His car is warm and dry

Don't stand, don't stand so

Don't stand so close to me

Don't stand, don't stand so

Don't stand so close to me

Loose talk in the classroom

To hurt they try and try

Strong words in the staffroom

The accusations fly

It's no use, he sees her

He starts to shake and cough

Just like the old man in

That book by Nabokov

Don't stand, don't stand so

Don't stand so close to me

Don't stand, don't stand so

Don't stand so close to me

Don't stand, don't stand so

Don't stand so close to me

March 14, 2009

Do you have parents? You're moving in with your b/f once you get your license? What the?

I agree that this guy is a pedophile. He might be "grooming" you. That's what they do. They make you feel special so they can use you sexually. Kids with little or no parenting seem to be particularly vulnerable.

That's why I asked about your parents...that and the bit about moving in with your teen aged b/f.

You don't seem especially mature to me, dear. Sorry..you're a pretty typical 15 year old.

You should really forget all of this because it won't end well and you'll regret it.

March 14, 2009

i thought about it a lot all last night and this morning.

i don't even know what i was thinking.

it would be disgusting and wrong, and if things get any worse i'll make sure he backs the hell up.

i was half asleep and the only energy i had was off mountain dew, confused, curious, and basically just caught up in our interests.

i never would've followed through with it..

i'm just glad i'm realizing it now, instead of some other time when he's trying to rape me.

i'll talk to him first...only if things get any worse. otherwise i'll ignore it.

thanks for help to everyone.

i was just confused.

(:

March 14, 2009

He's crossing a line he shouldn't be if he is coming on to you the way you desribe. He could lose his job for this at the very least.

If you do care about him- and you are as mature as you say you are... consider the position this emotional affair could place him in.

Having said so- he is the adult here, he is in the position of power, and at the age of 35- he should now better.

That says it all right there.

He could lose his job, and he should care. He will have trouble finding another one.

And I do care about him, and I am mature, and I realized this is very wrong.

He should know better... he's obviously very mentally damaged. ):

Thanks again to everyone for help!

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teacher...but i love my boyfriend with all my heart.. its so wrong...

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