Layla Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 Hi I have been with my boyfriend for 15 months now and everything seems really perfect. He tells me how much he loves me, I had to meet his family and dearest friends pretty much at the beginning. He asked me to move in with him after three months although he had never lived with a woman before and he says I am the best thing that ever happened to him. He really really makes me happy! Whenever I meet his oldest and dearest friends and he doesn't listen they say they have never seen him like this and that they are really happy for us. Also, I found a letter from a friend of his saying:" the money is on you to crumple next". So far, so good. Then again he has NEVER brought up marriage or kids at all! I assumed it is because he has been very busy but also very successful in his job, is currently building a house and there is just generally happening a lot in his life. And Girls adore him, which sucks! I mean yes, he may enjoy hanging out with me and I guess his love for me is real, but what would be the signs that he intends to one day ask me to marry him?? My opinion is that if he loved me as much as he and his friends say, shouldn't he know after 15 months that I am the woman of his life? Why has he never brought it up? Do I need to be patient? Of course I would never bring it up as I believe it's a job's guy. Who has got experience in being proposed to? OR(!!!!)..... doesn't he propose because we are very different?? He comes from an EXTREMELY rich background and so do all his friends. They all went to the most expensive private schools and then to very good universities. So did I, but thanks to sitting tough exams and scholarships as I was always among the 5 top percent of the class. I have a good job now, which I love because it is very challenging (money is all right). But still, my parents are so lovely but simply have practically no money to spend on me. I have been to a few weddings of my boyfriend's friends and they were unbelievable. Do you guys believe that a girl's background (moneywise) matters? I mean, I am a hard worker and thanks to my excellent education will probably always do well. But there will never be any support from my home! What do you reckon guys? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
novascade Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 hey money is not everything if that where the, more case 75% of us would burn in hell God cares for all rich and poor when people get married don't they say for richer or poorer, or something like that,so if the heart is right why wait a night ,its also said in the bible tomorrow is promied to no one Link to post Share on other sites
Author Layla Posted October 9, 2003 Author Share Posted October 9, 2003 Hey novascade It's good that there are people out there who believe that money isn't everything (especially in marriage). I have a more realistic view of the topic. Fact is that money changes marriage completely. You never have to worry about those bills, can go on the expensive holiday instead of the cheap one, send your kids to private schools and just have a comfortable life. why wouldn't any bloke just go for the richest girl to marry? It would save him a lot of sorrows over mortgage, school fees etc! Link to post Share on other sites
novascade Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 hey don't get me wrong but if people don't make enough they should stop being lazy and help them self to another job point is if you don't make enough it sucks if you have kids take point to this Link to post Share on other sites
Simone Posted October 17, 2003 Share Posted October 17, 2003 Of course it's not the money!! why would marriage be based on her income. My boyfriend is a broker and makes good money and proposed to me after 10 months (I'm a teacher at a local school). He said he had never fallen for anyone like that and that the thought of growing old with me made him feel complete. Maybe your boyfriend just generally doesn't like the idea of marriage and kids?! Well, good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Elza Posted November 26, 2003 Share Posted November 26, 2003 The only problem you might face is having a complex that others would look at you as at a gold digger. I have had the same concerns of my family is not being as well to do as my fiancé’s. What you have to remember is what really matters is what he thinks. Yes, it is great that his family has money -- it would help a lot if/when you guys have kids. And, if this relative financial inequality ever comes up, you should acknowledge that you are aware and appreciate that fact of how much better your life together could be because of it. Nevertheless, you should always remember and be proud of the fact that you got the same education all because of your abilities and not because the daddy paid for it. And. your family has always given you everything they could and that means they would treat him and your potential children the same way. Link to post Share on other sites
yogi-mon Posted November 26, 2003 Share Posted November 26, 2003 and my friends are what people would call rich, and no woman is too poor for me if she has my heart if shes in it for the money, well, thats easy to smell. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Layla Posted November 27, 2003 Author Share Posted November 27, 2003 Hey Yogy Thanks for that kind answer :-) I love to believe that the world is not all black and white and purely materialistic. After all, my boyfriend and I do get on very well and I hope that he will one day ask me to marry him. Link to post Share on other sites
ting Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 You have to find out his intentions now, actually you should have done that a long time ago. If a man's purpose is to marry, he will date with that idea in mind. He must know what he wants, and you should let him know what you want. Why waste time and play games. I told my boyfriend that I want to marry him. Why? Because I don't want to waste my time, if he had other plans, I simply would start looking for somebody else, because I want to be married, it is my priority, to the right person of course. My purpose is not to spend some years with someone whom I love and adore only to find out he was never serious enough about me. And you know what, it turned out, that he wants to marry me too, just as much as I do. Your boyfriend might not even be aware that you want to be married, let him know. Link to post Share on other sites
ting Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 And why wouldn't he move in with her, it's convenient for him, no obligations. If he is not ready for marriage, and she is, it is better to leave him alone. If money is that important to him, why would she need him, why would she need somebody for whom money is worth more than her? I think when you waste years of your life with somebody who is not sure what he wants, it is only bad for you, nobody else. Link to post Share on other sites
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