After a year, She wants me back...

[ohwhyme]

It was a LDR but nothing was ever wrong. Basically we were together for a year, I came over last summer and she ignored me like a stranger. I even met her new guy that lasted 4 days when I came over and she said they were just friends.

 

Been on NC on and off for a year now. Its been going well for 8 months until shes decided to talk to me all the time, but I never replied. I wrote her an email on her bday and she decided to call me. It was awkward and after the email she sent me a long email. She called me again and we talked about everything for 4 hours, it was a good conversation like old times and she answered a lot of stuff that I asked. She said she wanted me back and said i was the best thing to ever happen to her. I thought she left me for another guy but she said thats not the case even though she found someone a week after. She said she was confused because of some new birth control. Before she seemed all depressed and now it seems like shes happy because of this new medicine crap. I hate her medicine its weird. It took her a while to get it switched. She said shes had dreams about me and that its hard when everyone likes me and talks about me. Her entire family says we should get back together.

 

Now it makes things a lot harder. She says the ball is in my court and she says its up to me where things go and she doesnt want to pressure me. She says shes sorry a million times but I dont know how she can make it up, I used to trust her. I'm too scared to ask if she slept with anyone else and crap like that. She told me she made the biggest mistake of her life.

[Surfer Dude]

She seems genuinely remorseful. At least your ex is not stringing you along for validation.

 

What could you lose if you give her another chance? I believe that if people are sorry, they should be given a chance to make up for their mistakes.

 

Just make sure you LEAD the relationship this time and frame yourself as the prize, you don't want her to get bored and walk out on you. Since she is the one coming back and begging for another chance, you have immense power in your hands to shape this relationship in any way you want. Why not try?

[ohwhyme]

Thanks for the input, I appreciate it. She does seem remorseful. Its hard to not get bored when your in a LDR. I don't even know what to say anymore shes not pressuring me to decide anything. I do love her but I can live without her but its better when I was with her. On teh phone I carried out the conversation like we used to. How do I not get her bored? I mean you eventually run out of things to talk about right?

[Jay34]

i was in an LDR and yeah it really to me seems impossible unless someone is going to move, you do get bored because you are living different lives, the talking is great at first but after the months go by you run out of things to say, i say unless you guys can move close what is the point, how often do you see her ?

[ohwhyme]

actually we used to talk every day for hours and it would run up the phone bill so its weird not to talk to her again. I went to see her like 3 months within 6 months. Then she came over for a week or something. She messed it up and I could have been there by now...

[Jay34]

i'd say if you really love this girl and you think she might be "the one" then i would give it a try, but realistically for it to work someone has to move closer, the phone thing is great at first but you can't see someone every 3 months and really call it a relationship, did you guys ever date in person before ?

[ohwhyme]

yes we did date before but we always knew that we loved each other. She seems normal now like I used to talk to her. Well if she didnt mess things up I'd probably be there by now . The first step we made is to try and spend summer together. I guess I have a lot of planning to do. I hope I'm making the right choice.