BlueEyedGirl Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 I use to say the same thing. I thought I could trust the coworkers I allowed "in" as well, but for the most part they ended up showing their true colors when their job or their a$$ were on the line. They all are usually cool until things like promotions, manipulations, raises etc... come into play. That's when you know. I'm more on the side of nourishes the friendships outside of the workplace and just being friendly and cordial to coworkers. This also keeps them from being all in your personal business. I did notice that with one girl on my team. She was so nice that I felt I could open up and even mentioned one of the nasty e-mails I have sent to the boss (but she doesn't know that I have feelings for him). Anyway she was REALLY interested and wanted to see the e-mail which somehow I felt was not right and I didn't show it to her. Then we had performance apprasial and she wanted to see mine - she basically grabbed the paper out of my hand. Then she said "Hmmm you show late for work, send nasty e-mails and still get better scores than me - what kind of place is this?" I have been avoiding her ever since... Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 How about some of you old pros at work how close do you get with coworkers? Where do you go to find new friends? I get as close as they want. I have no limit. I don't go find for friends, but I have a bunch at work. I was just sitting next to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 I just read the title.. do you make friends at work.. my answer only male friends. I had 'lovers' .. still have one MM.. and one other guy (platonic friend) I go for a drink once every 2-3 months (he lives with a woman, but she doesn't know)... that's it.. for now.. maybe one more .. soon (I know he'd like that but I haven't make a move yet).. No female friends.. (except one 'walking buddy', but she isn't in my department, different floor). Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedGirl Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 I just read the title.. do you make friends at work.. my answer only male friends. I had 'lovers' .. still have one MM.. and one other guy (platonic friend) I go for a drink once every 2-3 months (he lives with a woman, but she doesn't know)... that's it.. for now.. maybe one more .. soon (I know he'd like that but I haven't make a move yet).. No female friends.. (except one 'walking buddy', but she isn't in my department, different floor). Lizzie I mainly make male friends at work too. I trust them more not to gossip and back stab me. I generally have had bad experience with women .... Link to post Share on other sites
green_tea Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 I've worked with mostly guys most of my working life - trust me they gossip as much as women. Link to post Share on other sites
nana yaw II Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 this may sound a silly question, but how do you make friends at work? Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 I don't. There are 4 companies on the floor and we all intermingle now and then but the sheer size of it makes it hard to form friendships with people. In my old job with around 6 people, I would've said yes. Every office environment is different and ours isn't the ideal one to foster those relationships nor am I interested. Be careful with office politics, certain things are better kept to yourself because people have a tendency to gossip. Link to post Share on other sites
chimpy Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I work part time at a small movie theatre. Everybody, except for the general manager, is part time, young, and just looking for the wages, including myself. Thus, work is almost identical to a big fraternity or a big hang out session. Everybody does stuff with each other outside of work, and the position you have at work is non-existent once you step outside the entrance door. It is a blast and I have a lot of fun. HOWEVER, it is not exactly a utopia either. I am one of two shift supervisors, and there are seven-eight staff hired at any given time. My boss is an old grumpy single guy and anytime he hears that I am hanging out with a staff, he blows a gasket. That is the only setback to this otherwise perfect social situation at work. So I do recommend that you try to make friends at work. Link to post Share on other sites
green_tea Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 this may sound a silly question, but how do you make friends at work? It's not a silly question - it's obviously a valid question for you. I'm in my 6th workplace... have friends from 3. Some of those friendships came about by keeping in touch with people I'd been close to once I left the workplace. Other workplaces I made friends whilst there - usually because I have something in common with them and things go from there. In my latest workplace I've got two good friends. One friendship came about because we caught the same bus to work - however we didn't speak for a long time - I thought she wasn't interested and she thought the same of me.. eventually we spoke and now we're really good friends. Friendships can also come about when you start at a new workplace - some people are friendly to you and make an effort to get to know you, show you around etc, and this can lead to friendship. I think it helps to be friendly and open and sociable. Otherwise people think you aren't interested and leave you alone.. Sorry this is a bit long. Link to post Share on other sites
nana yaw II Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 It's not a silly question - it's obviously a valid question for you. I'm in my 6th workplace... have friends from 3. Some of those friendships came about by keeping in touch with people I'd been close to once I left the workplace. Other workplaces I made friends whilst there - usually because I have something in common with them and things go from there. In my latest workplace I've got two good friends. One friendship came about because we caught the same bus to work - however we didn't speak for a long time - I thought she wasn't interested and she thought the same of me.. eventually we spoke and now we're really good friends. Friendships can also come about when you start at a new workplace - some people are friendly to you and make an effort to get to know you, show you around etc, and this can lead to friendship. I think it helps to be friendly and open and sociable. Otherwise people think you aren't interested and leave you alone.. Sorry this is a bit long. no problem about the length. thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 no no LOL instead of a bra she would wear a camisole with a built in bra...ive done it manytimes im a 34 a so i can get away with it as well..but one of her coworkers she went shopping with after work saw that she was wearing a cami instead of a bra and told on her that monday. She got written up for not wearing appropriate underwear. I still don't understand this. What business is it of your employer to know what type of underwear its employees are wearing?!! Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 A lot of people at my work are my friends. For now, at least Link to post Share on other sites
Author TwinkletOes26 Posted April 29, 2009 Author Share Posted April 29, 2009 I still don't understand this. What business is it of your employer to know what type of underwear its employees are wearing?!! Hello star gazer havent seen you around in a while how ya been? Look i think we got off on the wrong foot in the last thread:laugh:...so im extending the olive branch. I found SEVERAL neutral looks using color that would be very office appropriate. The place i applied to yesterday the secretary was wearing blue and gold e/s very pretty....anywho to answer you question apparently in the dress code it said something about dressing appropriately and the dress code said no "tank tops" he claimed that her cami was considered a tank. He also said that it could be a distraction to her coworkers bc of the "movement".Hey i dont get it either but she got written up needless to say she left with the quickness and found somewhere else to work. I say if you cant tell and you can get away with it who cares. This was the story that prompted me to start this thread. I mean i would hate to go shopping with a coworker and they see im wearing a cami instead of a bra or a thong an go tattle. Some people are that petty. Anywho stargazer was that legal? I mean i could see if she was chestier but shes small . Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 to answer you question apparently in the dress code it said something about dressing appropriately and the dress code said no "tank tops" he claimed that her cami was considered a tank. He also said that it could be a distraction to her coworkers bc of the "movement". Is this a joke? Woman is disciplined for having breasts that aren't bound up tightly enough to be immobile. Does that sound like equality in the workplace to you? I guess someone would have to first check to see if your boss wears inappropriate boxers, or if they're suitable tighty-whities that prevent any "movement" whatsoever. I mean i would hate to go shopping with a coworker and they see im wearing a cami instead of a bra or a thong an go tattle. Some people are that petty. Petty? This sounds more like a smorgasbord of organisational personality disorders that you're attempting to identify some morsel of sanity within. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 No, I never make friends at work. Many have tried but I hold all of them at a distance. Same goes for neighbours. I am cordial but never befriend them and let them into my personal life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TwinkletOes26 Posted April 29, 2009 Author Share Posted April 29, 2009 Is this a joke? Woman is disciplined for having breasts that aren't bound up tightly enough to be immobile. Does that sound like equality in the workplace to you? I guess someone would have to first check to see if your boss wears inappropriate boxers, or if they're suitable tighty-whities that prevent any "movement" whatsoever. Petty? This sounds more like a smorgasbord of organisational personality disorders that you're attempting to identify some morsel of sanity within. Nope sadly it isnt. I read a story where a woman got introuble for not wearing pantyhose under PANTS (imma try to google that one for ya)...but anyways this girl worked in a small office in the deep south. There are a lot of ignorant people esp men who still think its the 1900s LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
sotired Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 NO... Not anymore. Every "work friend" I've had has stabbed me in the back the first chance they get. And this is like call center/retail type work...nothing competitive. Believe me...You don't want to get comfortable with a work friend just to have them turn on you and tell EVERYONE what is going on in your personal life. Talk about embarrassing! I'm with marlena....coworkers and neighbors are always kept at a distance. Link to post Share on other sites
NotKelly Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 I don't think you really make true lifelong friends at work a lot of the time. I have had so many work "friendships" that died as soon as someone was moved to a different office. And that's OK I guess because that's what work "friendships" are often like. There is a woman in our suite who got moved to a different floor and, well, hate to say it but nobody really misses her despite having worked next to her for several years. She keeps coming upstairs to say hi - and attempts to hang out and talk - but honestly we're too busy and we never really worked with her on projects, so we don't really do much more than say "Hi how are you?" back. I go down to where she is sometimes, when I have to run errands, and try to remember to poke my head in her cubicle and say hi. But I'm doing this less and less. Personally I think e-mail has done this to people. It's easier to send people e-mail than to seek them out face to face. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 to answer you question apparently in the dress code it said something about dressing appropriately and the dress code said no "tank tops" he claimed that her cami was considered a tank. He also said that it could be a distraction to her coworkers bc of the "movement".Hey i dont get it either but she got written up needless to say she left with the quickness and found somewhere else to work. I say if you cant tell and you can get away with it who cares. This was the story that prompted me to start this thread. I mean i would hate to go shopping with a coworker and they see im wearing a cami instead of a bra or a thong an go tattle. Some people are that petty. Anywho stargazer was that legal? I mean i could see if she was chestier but shes small . Was she wearing anything over the cami? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TwinkletOes26 Posted May 7, 2009 Author Share Posted May 7, 2009 LOL yes she was wearing a button up shirt Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 LOL yes she was wearing a button up shirt That is the only reason I could think of why it would be a big deal. wtf What is he doing looking that closely anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Was she wearing anything over the cami? LOL yes she was wearing a button up shirt I still don't get this. Does anyone? TT... Does your boss monitor what sorts of panties women wear? Do you get written up for wearing a thong as opposed to full-coverage bottoms? It just makes no sense at all... Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 I still don't get this. Does anyone? TT... Does your boss monitor what sorts of panties women wear? Do you get written up for wearing a thong as opposed to full-coverage bottoms? It just makes no sense at all... I don't get it either. I guess it would be inappropriate without a shirt over the top but nope. My boss would never even think to check what we're all wearing under our clothing! If anything I'd think she'd have cause to complain to HR that he was monitoring her underwear. Sounds like harassment to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TwinkletOes26 Posted May 7, 2009 Author Share Posted May 7, 2009 I don't get it either. I guess it would be inappropriate without a shirt over the top but nope. My boss would never even think to check what we're all wearing under our clothing! If anything I'd think she'd have cause to complain to HR that he was monitoring her underwear. Sounds like harassment to me. Shes working at another place now LOL...we think they wanted her gone anyways and just needed a "reason". I thought it was strange myself. I mean even if she had big boobs and didnt wear a bra not much they could do right? I mean as long as she was covered up they cant reprimand someone for that LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
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