Susie1 Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 I saw this and thought it might help i'm deep in love with one of my closest friends i've only known her for bout half a year now she's is very georgous inside and out and doesn't realise it she is forever saying that she is ugly, fat etc. she has a wierd backwards logic, but i love her so much but she's straight completely straight. but she's never had a boyfriend or kissed anyone thanks to the low self esteem she joke pervishly just for a laugh and can be completely random but the second i get wierd when she does stuff like that she gets a bit worried she knows i'm bi and i'm so scared of my feelings for her and she might be surpiscious i don't want to steal her first kiss espesially if she doesnt like me back Everytime she mentions what i think fo her or a depressed rant bout her not having a guy i feel dead inside. i get pissed at my self that i'm not a guy let alone her dream guy it hurts even more when she says i look goergous when i have a beauty rant Just looking at her kills me. i'm spilt between pressing her angaist the wall and snogging her and punching myself for being a freak towards her. i just end with hugging her a bit too tightly and frequently. subquently she says i can only hug her once a day. i don't know what to do anymore Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 i don't know what to do anymore Back off and understand that you can't make people go where they don't want to go. Since you are obviously quite smitten with her, you need to completely stay away because your agendas are in direct conflict. Nothing more to say...no chance for you here! Link to post Share on other sites
Beautiful Inside Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 in order for her to be able to love someone else she has to first be able to love herself 100 percent. i know i use to be that same girl. my guy friends thought i was insane but i always was thinking low about myself when guys would approach me i would think they were seriously blind i couldn't believe a guy actually found me attractive i was always saying i was fat or i could do improvement on my body somehow i was deeply never ever satisfied with my body....it took years for me to finally get over all that but even now im 24 yrs old and my bf still says im just as bad if not worse.... im 5 4'' and i weight 100lbs im tiny he says but to me i can be in better shape im constantly at the gym trying to be more toned i hate my legs i have thick legs he loves them and all his friends say they loves girls with full legs instead of chicken legs thick legs are way sexier they say but to me i still cant let myself be convinced of that. i hate everything about me but if you saw me you'd never know that about me until you talked to me. basically she might never change but she also could change but it will be on her own terms all women have these self esteem issues just some come out and say it openly and other are like "**** i dont have self esteem issues i love myself" i think your either comfortable and content with yourself/body or your not. but theres not overnight treatment or nothing anyone can say i think like counseling would be the solution. Link to post Share on other sites
sprinkles00 Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 If you can't project your attached feelings for her into friendship only, then you might want to stay away. Use your feelings for her to be a best friend, to care for her and look after her as a loving friend would. But if she is straight, you won't be able to convert her, no matter how much you wish you could or want to, it's just not happening. That's something you have to accept. If you can't, stay away for your own good before you drive yourself crazy. If you think you can be just a good friend to her, don't admit these feelings to her, it will only make things awkward and drive her away. Link to post Share on other sites
Goldstar Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 Okay, I have been there, done that and I have the tee-shirt. You must absolutely, positively back away from her! It is very possible you could lose her altogether as a friend. She has already limited your hugs, so I think she knows you like her. If you were to hook up with her, it would have to be her idea and I don't see that happening. It would have already happened. Don't pine over her anymore. Back away, slowly detach from her and if necessary cut all contact with her. You have got to protect yourself. You can really get hurt here. Please don't waste your emotional energy on her, find another lesbian or bi chick to hang out with. Her self esteem matters, but not as much as yours my friend! This will kill you chasing her and destroy your self-esteem in the process. Link to post Share on other sites
getfriends Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 If you want to stay as her friend, you'd better keep your feelings to yourself. Confessing might just ruin your friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Susie1 Posted March 16, 2009 Author Share Posted March 16, 2009 she recently did say that she may try being gay after her first kiss... Link to post Share on other sites
gopher Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 A bi friend made the following comment which makes sense... She was tired of the faux bisexuality of today's girls and said..."In order to truly be bi, you have to eat p***y AND like it" That would seem to be a true statement...I wonder if your friend would try to be that bold.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Susie1 Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 thanks for all the replies but im still confused I can just about be gd friends with her and the hug a day thing sorta stop and after so many ups and downs we shes spending more time wit me again but every time i get in anty position where I'm in anyway couply i get defensive and laugh off no way etc cuz im just too scared I don;t get why and i'm worried I've already riuned any chances when i hugg her tightly i tend to brush my lips angainst her haor and i accident caught her neck and she accused me of kissing her in what sound like curiousity and i just shouted out **** no and laughed it off and then went into reg as we were still outside no one else noticed but still and the most ANNoying thing is the guy of her dreams chatting and being nicing to me as the days come on and we're semi-friends now. Its slightly worrying. He's really nice and all but she wants him and it makes me paranoid no make that freaskish;ly nice my head hurts =P Link to post Share on other sites
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