alskdjfhg1234 Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 I'm 21 and in college. I have a lot of friends, both guys and girls. I'm smart, funny, and considerate. People usually like me. I strike out with women. More like I don't even step up to the plate and I have no idea why. Consider last night. Four or five people asked me if I had been going to the gym, several more said they liked the little beard I was growing, and a few said that they loved my clothing. One of my gay friends who once basically said that I was unnattractive said that I looked "amazing." Everything should have been going my way. I felt great about everything. (Heck, I'm pretty confident in general to start out with!) But then I choke. Dancing a friend and I walked about to one of his female friends and her friend who were dancing, and he started dancing. The girls friend sorta just danced not really by me but not really away from me either. Instead of making a move I just ended up letting he get swept into dancing with a different guy who already had a girl dancing with him. Then there was this girl who was probably flirting with me but I am never sure and she basically implied that I should give her my phone number but for some reason I didn't do it. There is no reason that I shouldn't be successful, but I can't bring myself to do it! WTF is going on? Advice please! Thanks a ton! Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 You're giving out contradicting information. The title suggests you have a "crippling lack of confidence" and then you describe yourself as being pretty confident.... The decision to persue a girl on the dance floor in a club has nothing to do with confidence, some have equated it to fishing in dirty waters, but its ultimately up to you to decide which place and what time you will persue women. You can decide not to act inside the club, which is an act itself or you can decide to scoop up some attractive lady and go as far as you can - your behavior seems like you're just there to have a good time and aren't really persuing unless it falls in your lap and stays. Link to post Share on other sites
kashmir Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 You're giving out contradicting information. The title suggests you have a "crippling lack of confidence" and then you describe yourself as being pretty confident.... I think you misread "considerate" as "confident." OP, I've been in your situation a lot too. Was this a club you were at or a house party? I'm not 21 yet so I've never been to a club, but some house parties seem to be very similar to the club environment. The guys who seem to succeed with getting girls through grinding and talking on the side are usually very aggressive. They won't back off a girl until she forces herself away. When that happens they move from girl to girl until one bites and lets the guy do whatever he wants with her. I'm not good at that. I tend to back off a girl the moment she shows the slightest sign that I interpret as a negative one. The party/club scene isn't meant for every guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alskdjfhg1234 Posted March 15, 2009 Author Share Posted March 15, 2009 I know what I said was conflicting. Here is a better way of putting it. I feel like I'm pretty confident. I know I should be. But I do things that would lead me to think that I'm not. Such as never being successful with women. I've never even had a girlfriend! What I described was both at a club and the house party I was at before the bar... Link to post Share on other sites
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