All This Talk About Women Aging....

[soserious1]

But she wants to be visible. The only way that's left for her to be visible is to keep posting the textual equivalent of

.

 

I only hope I've got something more to offer when I hit 55. Even if it's nothing sexual.

 

This thread isn't about what I have to offer as an individual woman.. it is about aging and romance and about the socially accepted norms and options open to men and women as they age.

 

The types of comments like the one you've made is just another way that society silences and discredits aging females... once we're cast into the grandma heap the only socially acceptable things we're allowed to say is how happy and fufilled we are with our sterile asexual lifestyles. I'm here to say that there is much truth to what these guys are saying about older women and about how many men view them.

[pollywag]

I am not all religious and am a firm believer in the idea that while we cannot choose when or if we are born we most certainly have the right to decide

when we die. I'm an ardent supporter of Death with dignity and would not chose to continue living to the stage where I become physically/mentally unable to care for myself and become a burden on others. I'll plug the plug long before that point.

 

My point was not about religion. "GOD" is a figure we can all relate to whether we see him in a fictional light or not, the core message was that whomever or whatever decides your number is up has the last say. That is when life is over.

 

Of course you can always take your own life if that's your choice, but I don't know why you would want to punish all those who do love and care for you deeply and let them deal with the aftermath of your self inflicted death, for the sake of one disturbed man. You chose a man wrongfully that changed your life for the worse how about you take some responsibility in your part in all of it too, rather than blaming something abstract like "aging" for the misery this man has left you to deal with?

[Taramere]

You and I are on the exact same wavelength. I was thinking the exact same thing, but didn't know how to word it so that is would not come off offensive. That video beats all words. Well done.

 

 

She has been having a pitty party for quite some time now. However, it is easier to see this from the outside and from the perspective of a mind that is attached to a body that has not had the soul beaten out of it by an abusive man.

 

I didn't realise there had been physical abuse involved. I guess the self pity is understandable, but still - seeing people wallowing with zero motivation to stop wallowing is....damn, it's enough to make me get off my backside and finally go to the gym before it closes.

 

The types of comments like the one you've made is just another way that society silences and discredits aging females... once we're cast into the grandma heap the only socially acceptable things we're allowed to say is how happy and fufilled we are with our sterile asexual lifestyles. I'm here to say that there is much truth to what these guys are saying about older women and about how many men view them.

 

Nobody's saying you have to envisage a geriatric Pollyanna for a role model - but for Christ's sake, can't you find any joy in life at all? Is sex and male admiration the only pleasure you ever got in life? Is it really so impossible for you to snatch even a moment of genuine happiness for yourself through any other means?

[soserious1]

Correction: "...many boys..."

 

That is what many women want to believe, that there's going to be love,passion,romance at any stage or age they happen to find themselves.

 

Quite simply it's just not true.

[Cherished]

I forgot to add that this was her husband's first marriage! Yes, he waited until his late 40's until he found "the one." The "one" happened to be his lawyer coworker, his same age!

This man was a military lawyer for several years, makes more money now than CLV, like I said, will ever hope to make in several years!

Oh and this guy is totally handsome!!! Very distinguished, can you say Sean Connery type??? Except he is BETTER LOOKING (not kidding.) I am in my late 30s and if he were single, I would seriously date him, he is an amazing man. And I am telling you, typically I am not attracted to men that much older than myself, but he has charisma and looks to boot.

He found his amazing soulmate!

 

What people want is someone to connect with, someone who stirs life within them and completes them, not an age.

 

 

My sister's mother in law is very beautiful in her early 60's, and still practicing as a lawyer! She is probably making more $ in a year (working parttime...she has cut her hours to travel with her husband, also a practicing lawyer, working part time yet bringing in, can you say...$500,000 a year) than clv or boxing will ever hope to make in 5 years!

Guess what???

She is the same age as her husband!!!!! It is her second marriage (divorced 20 years ago.) Now this guy makes enough he could have attracted one of them young, "nubile" women in their 30s...he went for the brainy coworker lawyer at work his same age!!!!

Sorry, guys!

The odds just aren't with you.

[soserious1]

My point was not about religion. "GOD" is a figure we can all relate to whether we see him in a fictional light or not, the core message was that whomever or whatever decides your number is up has the last say. That is when life is over.

 

Of course you can always take your own life if that's your choice, but I don't know why you would want to punish all those who do love and care for you deeply and let them deal with the aftermath of your self inflicted death, for the sake of one disturbed man. You chose a man wrongfully that changed your life for the worse how about you take some responsibility in your part in all of it too, rather than blaming something abstract like "aging" for the misery this man has left you to deal with?

 

I've discussed end of life issues extensively with my children and each of them believes as I do that it's not up to them or anybody else for that matter to decide if my quality of life merits contining on, that choice is mine

alone to make absent psychosis. Nobody would be left feeling punished, on the contrary they would celebrate the life I'd lived and the gifts we've shared over that lifetime.They also confessed to feeling relieved and grateful that I've left advanced directives should I be unable to speak for myself. My children will not suffer the agony of a long, slow painful and expensive good bye from a demented elderly parent who doesn't even remember who they are.

 

As to the ex, yeap it's my fault, I chose poorly and I now pay dutifully for that choice each month.

[marlena]

Aside from that the one thing that makes me happy is the knowledge that for the most part I've conducted my life with dignity.

 

 

Which is more than most people can say.

 

Soserious, I like your posts. You sound, despite the pessimism in your posts, like an interesting and intriguing lady with a lot to say and the courage to say it, however much it may diverge from conventional standards. I think you have more going for you than you know. I also sense that you are a gutsy lady and that is a great quality to have.

 

Aging is no fun, I agree with you, but don't forget that even the young have their problems as they struggle with careers, relationships, children, money, stress, confusion, inexperience etc... as they try to forge their own path in life.

 

Being fifty can be very restful and fun if you allow it to be.

[soserious1]

Which is more than most people can say.

 

Soserious, I like your posts. You sound, despite the pessimism in your posts, like an interesting and intriguing lady with a lot to say and the courage to say it, however much it may diverge from conventional standards. I think you have more going for you than you know. I also sense that you are a gutsy lady and that is a great quality to have.

 

Aging is no fun, I agree with you, but don't forget that even the young have their problems as they struggle with careers, relationships, children, money, stress, confusion, inexperience etc... as they try to forge their own path in life.

 

Being fifty can be very restful and fun if you allow it to be.

 

I have an adult child in the process of obtaining her PH.D's, lol, you don't need to remind me of the problems faced by the young.

 

As far as the rest goes, it's been an interesting life, learning about how things work, planning ways to make them work better has consumed me

since my very youngest years. The world and the people in it are filled with endless curiosities. However, I feel fatigue, it creeps over me like a warm,fuzzy blanket, reminding me that the days,grow shorter and shorter

and I draw comfort from knowing that when it is time I will gratefully wrap myself in that blanket and surrender to that final sleep.

 

All that we are in the beginning is energy and all that we are in the end is energy.. our form may change but is never destroyed.

[Kamille]

To continue on Donna maybe's tangeant:

 

A friend of mine, now 54, met her current husband at the age of 47 (he is about her age, maybe a couple of years younger).

 

My grandfather fell in love with his second wife at the age of 72- she was 68. (they're now both in their 80s).

 

Another friend of mine - gorgeous woman - aged 60, divorced two years ago and just recently met someone she likes.

 

What all this people, grandpa included, have in common is that they never thought for one second they were less interesting because of their age. They all just continued on with their lives and ran into people they could love.

 

And, on a more catty note, to be honest, as a 32 year old, I don't find that men older then 50 to be attractive. So it's not like 50 year old men have it all you know? their dating pool is also constrained by younger women's preferences.

[pollywag]

That is what many women want to believe, that there's going to be love,passion,romance at any stage or age they happen to find themselves.

 

Quite simply it's just not true.

 

 

It's not true for YOU because you are too busy hating yourself in order to allow anyone else to share any sort of emotion with you. You admittedly tell the world you have thrown in the towel in every respect what person wants to be around that? Never mind a man, what woman would even want to have a friend like that? You expect to throw in the towel and still want men to flock to you? and blame age for this? no no, it does not work that way, in life you have to work for things and it starts upstairs with your head. Surely as a scientifically minded woman you must know and undestand this.

 

It's like Taramere said, is there nothing you can find in life that brings you happiness that does not involve the praise and presence of a man?

 

I can appreciate where you are coming from because you come from a generation of women that made their men their entire lives, so for you I can see why this is extra hard. Your entire life was lived to cater to this man this is precisely why two generations later women are being urged to be independent, to find their own happiness and to nor rely on men for more than need be.

 

A woman should not be made to feel so weak that they must endure a lifetime of any form of abuse, nor should she fear being alone and finding happiness in different aspects of life. I feel for women of your generation Soserious because you simply don't know any better, you have spent your entire lives with a man and don't know how to exist without one.

 

There are very young women who's lives are taken away due to illness and they never get to experience love, or companionship, or children or marriage or any of those things. You did get to experience all those things and you have a chance to rediscover who you are after all is said and done and yet you choose to devote your life obsessing over what your ex is up to and why he was so right that you would end up alone and he accompanied by someone half his age. He is just man, a man that you crossed paths with one day fell in love with and decided to form a life. He is not your blood you are not his mother and you are not tied to him in any sort of way, let him live his life as he sees fit let him bask in all his glory, let him find happiness let him BE happy. Let his new women deal with his abuse, people don't change. Let him rot in a ditch if that is where he ends up he is no longer your interest, or should not be. Your life is not about him it is about YOU. You learn to live your life again without him. You were an individual before he came into your life and you can be that individual again. Age or no age, that is the raw deal we are born we live through life's stages and then we die, everyone gets the exact same deal only some don't make it past the first stage.

[Lizzie60]

Soserious.. come on.. cheer up..

 

I, like Marlena, love your posts.. you are a very intelligent woman.. but a little bit too pessimistic about life.. but I can understand why...

 

Never say never.. I'm not sure how old you are.. but come on.. my 'sexual life' started at 45... I'm 56 now.. and I've had more sex and men in those 11 years.. and still am.. (and most are/were much younger)... don't give up your chances on being happy and sexually fulfilled.. but, first, you have to change your 'mind' about life... I know it's easier said than done.. let those pheromones fly ..

[Kamille]

However, I feel fatigue, it creeps over me like a warm,fuzzy blanket, reminding me that the days,grow shorter and shorter

and I draw comfort from knowing that when it is time I will gratefully wrap myself in that blanket and surrender to that final sleep.

 

 

Soserious, you've just been through a very horrendous divorce. Fatigue and thoughts of death are both signs of severe depression.

 

Are you seeing a therapist?

[GorillaTheater]

As far as the rest goes, it's been an interesting life, learning about how things work, planning ways to make them work better has consumed me

since my very youngest years. The world and the people in it are filled with endless curiosities. However, I feel fatigue, it creeps over me like a warm,fuzzy blanket, reminding me that the days,grow shorter and shorter

and I draw comfort from knowing that when it is time I will gratefully wrap myself in that blanket and surrender to that final sleep.

 

All that we are in the beginning is energy and all that we are in the end is energy.. our form may change but is never destroyed.

 

Another poster on these boards likes to say: "Get busy living, or get busy dying". Looks like you've made your choice, and I think it's a Goddamned shame.

[marlena]

As far as the rest goes, it's been an interesting life, learning about how things work, planning ways to make them work better has consumed me

since my very youngest years. The world and the people in it are filled with endless curiosities.

 

Hold onto this thought. Rediscover that world that you are letting slip away. Do not throw away a life that you know can be interesting again. And all because of a man. If he can be called that.

 

And for heaven's sake, to not give him the satisfation of running you down like this.

 

Seriously. I mean it.

[clv0116]

As to the ex, yeap it's my fault, I chose poorly and I now pay dutifully for that choice each month.

 

I've never felt that spousal support made much sense in the traditional cases, and even with the 'shoe on the other foot' I have to say it's a pity you find yourself in that condition. Sadly you probably don't have a peer group of similarly saddled middle aged woman with whom to sit around, drink beer and ogle 20 something ass. This is, I believe, how a lot of men who are paying alimony cope.

 

When I was visiting South East Asia I was astounded by the number of 60+ single men there who appear to live quite happily in pubs and bars on a fairly meager pension. Perhaps a retirement or long vacation to a tropical paradise where you can play sugar-momma to a 23 year old surfer would cheer you up a little.

[soserious1]

Soserious.. come on.. cheer up..

 

I, like Marlena, love your posts.. you are a very intelligent woman.. but a little bit too pessimistic about life.. but I can understand why...

 

Never say never.. I'm not sure how old you are.. but come on.. my 'sexual life' started at 45... I'm 56 now.. and I've had more sex and men in those 11 years.. and still am.. (and most are/were much younger)... don't give up your chances on being happy and sexually fulfilled.. but, first, you have to change your 'mind' about life... I know it's easier said than done.. let those pheromones fly ..

 

You ever been to one of those single's functions for older people? LOL !

[Tony]

I think we have done the subject good justice with some 330 posts, many argumentative, many sarcastic and insulting, many off topic but many offering a good discussion of the topic. Time to close this one up. Thank you for participating.