tuscansun Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I wouldn't be so mad if us fooling around to begin with had been my idea. NOTHING was my idea, Honestly I was content just hanging out with him, we're both musicians and we had fun jamming together. He initiated the first kiss, then the first make-out, then the going out for drinks, then the midweek 'come chill at my house after work'...we actually got pretty close. We still didn't see a very romantic future but we were good friends and we talked about all the crap going on in our lives, me dealing with a really hard break up of 4 years, and him dealing with school and trying to date. One day things got more physical than usual and I left feeling a little weird, jazzed but weird and then the very next night he took this girl to a concert and it pissed me off. Granted, he had invited a bunch of people including myself and this chick was the only one who could go but I found myself jealous and as such suggested we stop fooling around, I treasured our friendship more than the physical stuff. We agreed, but the very next time we hung out we totally couldn't keep our hands off and had full blown sex. The couple weeks following he was pretty sweet but he admitted to be pretty into this girl in one of his classes. He ended up taking her out and she, as far as I know, turned out to not be very interested in him. He got WAY more butt hurt about it then I imagined he would which hurt me a little. I started getting this, 'well what about me' type of feeling. I tried to be honest about it and suggested yet again that we really needed to stop this time. He was a little upset but he said that was fair. Of course the next time we hung out he was all over me, we started making out again and he practically begged for the sex but I didn't think it a good idea (it was 'that time' if u feel me....and he STILL wanted it....grossness....). He started talking s*** about something totally off topic to piss me off and I left really upset, he txted me 'im sorry' the whole way home. I tried to let it go but I wailed on him as soon as I got home. He insisted he was really sorry and didn't know why he said those things. the next couple days I tried to be a little extra sweet to smooth things over. I was IMing him on my lunchbreak this past Thursday and he was being short with me. I asked what was wrong, and he said he was getting the feeling that I 'liked him too much' (what the hell?) and was feeling smothered. He didnt say he wanted to stop or anything but I took it that way. I was so pissed I couldn't even speak. Me???? If anything I would have thought HE liked ME too much and HE was smothering me but whatever. Ive been talking to him since September and I barely introduced him to my best friend like three weeks ago. HE'S the one always inviting me out with his friends, HE'S the one who IM's me the second I get online or makes me stay in bed with him for hours after we've finished fooling around to 'cuddle' when I really just wanna get home to be up for work in the morning...I couldnt even argue I was so pissed, I just said, well, I can change that for you, it's been fun, bye. And signed off. This was Thursday. It's now Sunday. I haven't said anything but neither has he. Im hurt, I miss him but I can't believe he just flipped the script on me like that. I do remember telling him a couple days ago, 'hey u should take me out on a date" and I was being semi-funny. And he snapped, 'why we're not dating'. Not sure if this conversation made him freak? Its just wierd, I was sure that if either of us wanted more it was him. Didnt expect this...WHats going on? Link to post Share on other sites
lammie Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 You obviously have more feelings for him than just a FWB, sounds like he wants to sleep with you as well as seek other girls. I'm in the similar situation where he was always the one initialled things, he was also the one who "just wanted to be 'friends'", although he's not seeing anyone else. They have the control and because we let them. I once had a FWB for the summer, i didn't want anything more from it, i never wanted to be his girlfriend or anything i just wanted to sleep with him. But he said even that it's too much commitment for him. We're still friends. How do you feel about it? If you're okay just being FWB, or do you want more? If he can't give you more, you have to make the decision to stay or go. Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Def mixed signals coming from him I can see why your confused here #1 but I think at the core of it after all is said and done if something better comes along your gone cause the moment your miss right now not miss right for him sorry to say.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuscansun Posted March 18, 2009 Author Share Posted March 18, 2009 all good advice. Well I didnt talk to him at all after that conversation, BUT funny story, Monday night I got a text from him that said "Hello!" as if nothing happened. I waited a couple hours before responding "Hi". And then he writes again, "How's it going?" And I said "Great, urself" and he's all, "fine, i just got off work ha ha"......Needless to say I didnt respond to that. friekin random though right? So I shrugged it off, then yesterday at about 10:30 in the morning I'm at work and I get another text, "happy St. Patties Day!!! What are you doing tonight?" I waited another few hours (lol) and just said, "Happy St. Pattie's to you too" and ignored the question. I've detached truly. I know it sounds like I wanted more from this situation, I really didn't I think I just wanted him to be consistent. I felt like he got jealous of MY potential suitors and was hoping I'd get jealous of his. that was my issue. ANd this whole business of me 'liking him too much' I think that's how the chick from his class was making HIM feel, and he just wanted someone to be mean to, because I really don't think I act as clingy as he does. I did unfortunately, do a couple drunk texts last night, very stupid of me I know. However i liked what I said, I said what I didn't feel like saying sober. I said something to the effect of 'can we be friends and can you please stop assuming I like you more than I actually do?' and he said 'yeah of course'. However then i said, 'can you get my rocks off...tho you should probably ignore this because I'm wasted, and then he seemed to get a little peeved that I had been drinking, because he goes, 'well getting your rocks off isnt anything I havent done before....and when I asked if we could just be fine now he didn't respond....Honestly i don't really care at this point. I'm learning he's kind of a douche, and though I would definitely go skipping off on my way at the thought of something better (he's not all that) at least I respect him in the meantime. I feel like he's TRYING to get me all ruffled...I'd love to be his friends but if he gets frisky with me I'm going to try to control my hormones and tell him to get off me :/ Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 all good advice. Well I didnt talk to him at all after that conversation, BUT funny story, Monday night I got a text from him that said "Hello!" as if nothing happened. I waited a couple hours before responding "Hi". And then he writes again, "How's it going?" And I said "Great, urself" and he's all, "fine, i just got off work ha ha"......Needless to say I didnt respond to that. friekin random though right? So I shrugged it off, then yesterday at about 10:30 in the morning I'm at work and I get another text, "happy St. Patties Day!!! What are you doing tonight?" I waited another few hours (lol) and just said, "Happy St. Pattie's to you too" and ignored the question. I've detached truly. I know it sounds like I wanted more from this situation, I really didn't I think I just wanted him to be consistent. I felt like he got jealous of MY potential suitors and was hoping I'd get jealous of his. that was my issue. ANd this whole business of me 'liking him too much' I think that's how the chick from his class was making HIM feel, and he just wanted someone to be mean to, because I really don't think I act as clingy as he does. I did unfortunately, do a couple drunk texts last night, very stupid of me I know. However i liked what I said, I said what I didn't feel like saying sober. I said something to the effect of 'can we be friends and can you please stop assuming I like you more than I actually do?' and he said 'yeah of course'. However then i said, 'can you get my rocks off...tho you should probably ignore this because I'm wasted, and then he seemed to get a little peeved that I had been drinking, because he goes, 'well getting your rocks off isnt anything I havent done before....and when I asked if we could just be fine now he didn't respond....Honestly i don't really care at this point. I'm learning he's kind of a douche, and though I would definitely go skipping off on my way at the thought of something better (he's not all that) at least I respect him in the meantime. I feel like he's TRYING to get me all ruffled...I'd love to be his friends but if he gets frisky with me I'm going to try to control my hormones and tell him to get off me :/ Why even bother to respect him? he doesn't respect you? unless you can completely lose any and I mean ANY romantic feeling for this person then what ever you do don't sleep with him again drunk or sober! If you can then go for it but I think thats harder for women then men to do most of the time. I'm a huge fan of drunk texting I think its funny as hell ... Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 So find a new FWB and he'll feel aaaalllllll better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tuscansun Posted March 19, 2009 Author Share Posted March 19, 2009 Agreed and Agreed Link to post Share on other sites
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