UKtom Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 hey to everyone who has taken the time to read this thread. It is a follow up to a post I made back in feb i think.. anyway 2 recap in short i met this girl by accident on the internet. it wasn't a dating site or a chatroom but we spoke more and more. over time we go to know each other so well. we would spend up to 6 hours a day talking on skype or whatever, (i do have a life by the way.) i'm not a loner who sits at his laptop, i am a DJ and a university student with a passion of photography and graphic design. i have had long term relationships before of up to a year but i have now at this current date known her for just over 2 years without ever meeting her. yet we spent so much time together and i consider her to be my soul mate. now the problem is she lives in italy and i in england. i don't have much time due to university and the same for her to meet. I have been a bit neurotic and have lost total trust in her. i cannot be so far away from someone i care and love so much. my last post was referring to this, what to do etc. i actually totally ended it a week ago. i have tried to before because it is sheer torment to be always thinking and worrying of what could be. the fact is i will never know. but i always came back because i coud simply not have her out of my life. she is the only girl i have ever considered being in a long term relationship with and i wouldn't have kept any other girl in my life for 2 years without meeting her apart from her. i never even wanted to or went with other girls for 2 years!! but this time i have manged to be firm with my decision. if there is no trust in a relationship it will never be a happy one. so i deided this. if she really does feel the same way as i do, if we are soulmates we will one day be together. if not then so be it. i am not going to let it control my life anymore. the weird thing is, even though i have accepted the fact i need her out of my life right now, that we are nothing now, i still don't feel the urge to go and try to be with someone else.... i wonder how long that will last!?? she could be the most unfaithful, liying 2 faced woman in the world and i have saved myself from a distaster, or she is that person everyone searches for in their, but only i actually found her.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author UKtom Posted March 16, 2009 Author Share Posted March 16, 2009 lol oops, i made some mistakes, pretty tired..i was meant to say ''i have previously been in long term relationships for up to 2 years'', not a year, and i was also meant to say that the girl from italy ''is the only girl i have ever considered to be in a long distance relationship and not meeting.'' and at the very end i was meant to say ''that special person that everyone searches for their whole life'' Link to post Share on other sites
bunnybunny Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Hey UKTom! I can totally relate to your situation. I met a man online and have been talking to him for almost 2 years. He is in the UK. I'm in the US. I've never met him either, but have such strong feelings for him. I've tried to let it go and walk away, but something in me just won't let me give up. I'm hoping to meet him very soon, but I'm always fearing how it will end up, if we'll have the same chemistry in real life, if something will happen that will prevent us from meeting, if he'll meet someone before we meet and just so many other fears. It can be so emotionally draining!! Also time consuming, with the time difference. I can definitely understand your frustration. I feel it all the time. Has this girl given you reason to mistrust her? Or are you just fed up with this situation controlling your life? I don't know how things will end up for you, but if she comes back into your life, just meet her already. Italy is sooooo close. I wish I was that close! I know money and time are a problem, but try saving a little each month and meet during summer when school is out. Anything is possible... Link to post Share on other sites
Author UKtom Posted March 17, 2009 Author Share Posted March 17, 2009 hey, as far as mis-trusting her i think it is a lot to do with the fact she is there and i never know anything for 100%. i care about her so much that i think all of the time, what is she doing, blablabla. i personally when referring to out connection don't think there woud be any problem of being good together in reality, we are so compatable it is crazy. we realise our mothers are similar, with personality and mannerisms, our farther as the same personalty and background adn we are very good together. she meant everything to me and still does, but i have a kind of over active mind anyway. i just think sometimes way too much, i think she is too good to be true and that how can she be there for 2 years and to not even kiss another guy. i myself have fallen into true love because i am a guy and i have seriously not even thought about having anything with another girl. it has been about 4 months out of the 35 that i have been slowly getting worse and worse, trusting her less and less, becoming consumed by paranoia and pain. even if i never see her again, i know she is the one. i will ALWAYS love her. i tried leaving several times but the pain without her was stronger than not knowing, not having trust. but last week something changed within me, it hurt less to be without her than to be in torment. i still think of her all the time, i still have temptations to call her, txt her ask her to talk. but i stop myself. se tried to talk a few times but saw i clearly didn't want to. she doesn't believe my reasons for leaving her. it has got to the point where if i read a txt or an email, or a letter, (we send letters to each other sometimes 8 pages long) that i don't believe a single word. it is very sad but i believe in fate. if it is meant to be there will be a way we meet. i wish i could look into her eyes and find every answer, maybe one day i will... but yea also i am fed up of it controlling my life. ilove to spend time with her and stuff as always, i could easily speak to her on skype for 6 hours, hear her beautiful voice. but everything else that goes with the situation is too much. i hope that you manage to work something out that is good for you and your bf. like you said, i can relate to how you feel and your situation. if you both really love each other then the distance will only be a small problem, however large the gap is. just try not to lose trust, it is vital especially in an LDR. thanks for your post anyway good luck tom Link to post Share on other sites
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