vixen Posted October 10, 2003 Share Posted October 10, 2003 Once upon a time 7 years ago, there was a prince of a young man in my life. and i left my world of books, parents, teachers, oppressers, and BS, and hitched hiked cross country with him for 4 months. It was thee best experience of my life. I was emersed in love, life, wonders and sansations. Blissful even. We returend out of simple want for normality, and were torn apart by the inevitable. I was 18, he was 15, and i didn't want a restrainig order. Now here it is, I do think of him, never stopped realy, i put him aside, i ponder about him, but nothing more. He's appeard in my dreams more then once, and i never stopped loveing him. Honestly. I have a teeny tiny candle that wont quit in the back of my mind. I've grown to except it, i've grown to relize, no matter who i fall in love with in life, no matter how happy i will be, or am, i will always always love this one man. Now i have pondered, what if, what if i run into him again, what if i could find him on the internet. I actualy have looked. I think i realy just want to check up on him, see that he's ok, sometimes i just want to bounce some of our adventures off him, (i am trying to rite a book on em, and some things are so vague only he could help) I want to contact him, but a part of me says that would be wrong. That it's ooober dangerouse. That he wouldn't want to here from me. I know it's not odd to do this, i know i should be like, eh, what ever. but i get butterflies in my tummy just remembering him. Pretty wierd huh? I just wish i knew why i can't put it to rest, i can't set it aside. It's just been stirring alot lately. I wish i knew why. Should i tell jon? He's excepting of alot of things, maybe he'd know why. He is a phycology major in collage. Perhaps this is just a phsych thing. *sigh* I don't want him to think i want to replace him with an old flame, after all he himself is an old flame. I'm happy with jon, He makes me smile just thinking of him, and i used to wonder about him the same way i am wondering about Rabi now. And i'm totaly extatic that we are back together. So it's not a case of (my neads arnt being fullfilled) That's to simple an answer, ponderd met and defeated, it's not that. I just can't let the old love lie. What would you do in this sitch, anyone know what i'm talking about? Vixen Link to post Share on other sites
desperate Posted October 10, 2003 Share Posted October 10, 2003 I dated a girl for 3 years when I was in the Air Force. I had to move away from her what I thought was prematurely. Unfortunately, immediately before I move, we got into an argument that was never resolved. I called her a year later, and we stayed in touch for about 2 months, and she asked me to stop calling because it was making her man jealous. I moved again, and she didn't know about it, then I heard that she broke up with him and moved away. I always wonder "what if?" What if I hadn't moved, what if we hadn't had our argument, what if I hadn't been afraid of commitment at the time. I will always wonder, and I think that I will always love her. I don't even know anymore how much of it has to do with her, as the idea of her. Know what I mean? I've also tried to find her on the internet, but there are 5 million people with the same name as her, and since I don't know where she moved to, I don't even know how to narrow down the search. Guess I will always just have to wonder... Link to post Share on other sites
Author vixen Posted October 10, 2003 Author Share Posted October 10, 2003 I will always wonder, and I think that I will always love her. I don't even know anymore how much of it has to do with her, as the idea of her. Know what I mean? yeah i somtimes think it might be that. My room mate says i have rose collored glasses about it, that he wasn't the prince i make him out to be. But i swear he was. -_-UU Vixen Link to post Share on other sites
aquaria127 Posted October 10, 2003 Share Posted October 10, 2003 My boyfriend and I were recently talking about old flames. It's human nature to remember someone you were once in love with. no one can replace another person. Nor should you want that. The memories and feelings you have from the past are lessons and teachings, part of life's experiences. It ended for a reason. what that reason is, or will be, you decide. There are memories that come to mind on occasion, you don't want to forget. everyone has those private thoughts. when you make a commitment to be with someone new, you really shouldn't be contacting ex-loves, bringing them into the present. it's like acting on "what if." I think it's a rare case that two people who weren't suited to being lovers or partners can truly become platonic friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vixen Posted October 10, 2003 Author Share Posted October 10, 2003 Um, i don't realy want to talk to him, just know he's ok. And well, we never ended the relationship, it was something like, "call my son agian and i will sick the cops on you" And niether of us wanted a break up. But boy does your advice hit home. I love my jon, he's the best, he's alot of new things, and he's wonderful all because he's so him. I'm rather nuts about him realy. Totaly nuts about him. ^_^ I just wish i could see him more often. thanks, i'm glad you wrote in. Vixen Link to post Share on other sites
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