Gemma-x Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I am 20, I have had 3 boyfriend who i was with for over 10 months each. I cheated on all 3 of them and none of them found out. I now have another boyfriend who knows only of one boyfriend i cheated on so he trusts me. but my problem is that i really fancy my brothers mate. He knows this and he says he likes me to. I think i love my boyfriend but i can't be totally sure as I don't feel as strong for him as i did at the beiginning, I feel like i want to make excuses just so i don't have to see him as often! I feel guilty about this, and now this other guy is on the scene i feel even worse. My boyfriend is a really nice guy-and i think this is what is making me worried-i hurt every nice guy I have dated because as soon as they love me and want to spend all their time with me i decide i've had enough and move on. Basically i break hearts. I don't want to hurt my boyfriend or myself. I don't want to end things get with my brother mate just for it to be a big disaster (this happened before i ended up in domestic violance), and i don't want to end things with my boyfriend to find out he is 'the one'. I'm so confused and its getting me down!! Help! Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I am 20, I have had 3 boyfriend who i was with for over 10 months each. I cheated on all 3 of them and none of them found out. I now have another boyfriend who knows only of one boyfriend i cheated on so he trusts me. He knows you cheated, and he still trusts you? He is a fool. but my problem is that i really fancy my brothers mate. He knows this and he says he likes me to. I think i love my boyfriend but i can't be totally sure as I don't feel as strong for him as i did at the beiginning, I feel like i want to make excuses just so i don't have to see him as often! I feel guilty about this, and now this other guy is on the scene i feel even worse. My boyfriend is a really nice guy Then spare him and break up so he can find someone true to him. he doesn't deserve this. Link to post Share on other sites
pyroguy Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I am 20, I have had 3 boyfriend who i was with for over 10 months each. I cheated on all 3 of them and none of them found out. I now have another boyfriend who knows only of one boyfriend i cheated on so he trusts me. but my problem is that i really fancy my brothers mate. He knows this and he says he likes me to. I think i love my boyfriend but i can't be totally sure as I don't feel as strong for him as i did at the beiginning, I feel like i want to make excuses just so i don't have to see him as often! I feel guilty about this, and now this other guy is on the scene i feel even worse. My boyfriend is a really nice guy-and i think this is what is making me worried-i hurt every nice guy I have dated because as soon as they love me and want to spend all their time with me i decide i've had enough and move on. Basically i break hearts. I don't want to hurt my boyfriend or myself. I don't want to end things get with my brother mate just for it to be a big disaster (this happened before i ended up in domestic violance), and i don't want to end things with my boyfriend to find out he is 'the one'. I'm so confused and its getting me down!! Help! Well, that's the risk you always run when you always jump for the "greener grass". Honestly, I just think you're too young for a relationship. In the world we now live in, I can't possibly imagine a 20 year old being in a mature, exclusive relationship. I would say you just date and "play around" for lack of a better word or phrase. That seems to be the trend these days. Also, if you actually loved him, it wouldn't be so easy to want another guy, and make exuses to not see him. Whatever you do, please let the boyfriend go. You're wasting his time. Can he not get any other women besides you? if he can (and I'm sure he can) do him that favor, and give him the chance to find someone who does want to be with just him-if that's what he desires. Link to post Share on other sites
samspade Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 and i don't want to end things with my boyfriend to find out he is 'the one'. .... How could he be 'the one' if you're moved to cheat on him? Sounds like you date nice guys for the companionship and f*** other guys for the excitement. Maybe you should just be single. Then you wouldn't be a cheater, which is what you are. You're probably not "addicted," you're just selfish and immature. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gemma-x Posted March 17, 2009 Author Share Posted March 17, 2009 I am not a slapper, I don't just f*** guy's for joke. I havn't cheated on him and I don't know if i would, I'm just attracted to this other guy as well. I don't like hurting people which is why whenever I have cheated they don't find out, I don't like ending releationships with people but i know it hurts them, what i will say is that i think i do like the companionship, but i like the chase, when i'm not chasing anymore i get bored. Thanks for your replies anyway i'll have to think about weather this is just a 'bump in the road' or if its how i really feel. Link to post Share on other sites
troubadour Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Gemma-x... you will cheat again. You are just this kind of girl. Link to post Share on other sites
samspade Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I am not a slapper, I don't just f*** guy's for joke. I havn't cheated on him and I don't know if i would, I'm just attracted to this other guy as well. I don't like hurting people which is why whenever I have cheated they don't find out, I don't like ending releationships with people but i know it hurts them, what i will say is that i think i do like the companionship, but i like the chase, when i'm not chasing anymore i get bored. Thanks for your replies anyway i'll have to think about weather this is just a 'bump in the road' or if its how i really feel. Regardless of whether they've found out, you are disrespecting them. If you had any respect for your past partners, you'd break up with them rather than cheat. You're too scared to do that, apparently. If you are considering sleeping with this other guy, your interest in your current BF has probably dwindled to a point where you shouldn't be with him. If that's the case, be an adult about it and end the relationship. If you like the chase, and get bored when you've conquered, then again, maybe you should stay single. Link to post Share on other sites
lostsunsets Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Gemma, lets talk reality. You have cheated on every boyfriend you've had and you are now tempted to cheat on this one. You asked for opinions. You are getting them. So what do you do? You get defensive. You say you're not a slapper. You may not be. But if you were honest, with yourself, and want a real opinion from someone you supposedly love. Why not confess the fact that you have cheated on every boyfriend you have? You don't confess because you know damn well that he would think you're a slapper. Deny it. You can't. So now you are tempted to cheat on him with his brother. Which would probably be the greatest betrayal yet. You say you like "the chase" The fact is you like the "the catch" where you end up screwing them. You say they don't find out. Is that suppose to be an accomplishment? You are able to decieve them so well that when you break it off, they feel like they weren't good enough for you. When in fact you have proven 100% of the time, with your old boyfriends that you aren't good enough for them. The only advice I can give is to go over to the mirror and look at yourself then ask. "Why am I so morally bankrupt, that not only do I cheat and destroy every relationship that I am in, but that I feel no guilt about it before I jump on the next OM, after I find a new boyfriend? You my friend are so broken. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I am not a slapper, I don't just f*** guy's for joke. I havn't cheated on him and I don't know if i would, I'm just attracted to this other guy as well. You know that if you and this other guy found each other alone and you thought your bf would never find out, you'd be on him like stink on a monkey. You'd cheat and you know it. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I am not a slapper, I don't just f*** guy's for joke. I havn't cheated on him and I don't know if i would, I'm just attracted to this other guy as well. I don't like hurting people which is why whenever I have cheated they don't find out, I don't like ending releationships with people but i know it hurts them, what i will say is that i think i do like the companionship, but i like the chase, when i'm not chasing anymore i get bored. Thanks for your replies anyway i'll have to think about weather this is just a 'bump in the road' or if its how i really feel. You are so confused that it's clear your not from the States. Your what we call a shopper girl... always looking for the next best thing. That usually comes from massive amounts of insecurity, combined with being self-centered. I'm not trying to bash you here. I had some very similar issues a few years back. It made my life a wreck... you don't want to keep on that path. This thing about not wanting to hurt people... I assume it has more to do with wanting to control how others view you, than it actually does about caring for their feelings. Not to say you don't care about other peoples feelings... its just you don't care enough to stop from potentially hurting them. So, you would rather control that on the back end... so they don't think bad of you. That also may be why its hard to dump them. Link to post Share on other sites
hurt4life Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Gemma-X, you and my girl are alike. Sorry but I have no respect for people who cheat. I'll never understand why you just can't be happy with what you have. And if you're not happy, at least have some heart to let him go before you f**k around. You will never find happines becuase you are alway looking for the next best thing. The grass may not always be greener on the other side. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 How would you feel if your boyfriends did to you what you have done to them? You seem to justify your actions by saying at least they never found out...What is wrong with this picture? You cheat and betray them and put them at risk for STD's but hey - at least they didn't find out. You will be treated in your life the way you treat other people. Link to post Share on other sites
7117 Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Gemma-X you are so much like a friend of mine she had 3 b/f's that she cared about but cheated on and they never found out.She would always tell me it's not them there great but im bored.Im sure you love him as a friend but your not in love with this guy lets be honest to ourselves you would not cheat or want to jump your bro's friends bones.Your far from a bad person I just think you haven't met that person that makes you only want them.Who knows it could be your bro's friend!I don't know be single tell this poor guy you need a break before he gets to attached girls that lead guys on are not cool.Not to get all gay but we as men have a heart to. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
normal Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 If you cannot keep your legs closed, you should not be in relationships. Cheating is messed up. Break up with your boyfriend and tell him that your reason is because you will probably end up cheating on him just like all the others. You aren't addicted to cheating. Your other option is to be single and sleep with different people. I would recommend a friend with benefits. Link to post Share on other sites
Brady_to_Moss Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Wow. Your such a trustworthy person! Great quailty to have in life and you dont have any of it. Tisk Tisk. Link to post Share on other sites
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