Author FairyTale73 Posted March 19, 2009 Author Share Posted March 19, 2009 Why haven't you told your H? If it isn't cheating there is nothing to hide right? And what are you looking for here? How can we help you? As I said before my husband loves me , and I am rather human to understand what will happen to him if I tell him about the OM I love . I do not want to break him . Making my own happiness making my husband so unhappy - I wont do it . But I want him to make his decision^^^(u understand which) , he sees all , he sees my behaviour, he sees my emotions towards him ... He cant be in such a state all his life ,he understands that already .. so ... But I would not break him. He does not deserve as himself is a loyal man . When your spouse has been in Love with the Other M/W it REALLY Hurts if you are not in love yourself with some Other too - just simple like that . I would not hurt him this much . Link to post Share on other sites
Author FairyTale73 Posted March 19, 2009 Author Share Posted March 19, 2009 Your kidding me right? hahahaha , a nice reaction Yes, he is . We are both .. So u see now how hard life sometimes is . But I hope , all and everything will be just fine. Am always positive . Link to post Share on other sites
Adri Ana Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Your kidding me right? Uuuh,She is kidding us;) just joking , ok . Now FairyTale,a question to you : If he is engaged then you may have not just one heart (of your hubby) to break ,but also hers (his gf/wife/woman). Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 hahahaha , a nice reaction Yes, he is . We are both .. So u see now how hard life sometimes is . But I hope , all and everything will be just fine. Am always positive . You find that funny? some people are amazing you have already broken the poor mans heart he just doesn't know it yet is everything going to be just fine for your H? Wait a min so your both engaged not married yet? I thought you said in your 1st post he was your husband already? something smells fishy here... Fairy Tale? I wonder.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FairyTale73 Posted March 19, 2009 Author Share Posted March 19, 2009 Uuuh,She is kidding us;) just joking , ok . Now FairyTale,a question to you : If he is engaged then you may have not just one heart (of your hubby) to break ,but also hers (his gf/wife/woman). That is one more reason , very significant for me as I am very human, not to let OUR affair to be known "worldwide" as I do not want her heart to get broken .. I imagine my self in her place . Thats why I shant ever interfere in his life . Whatever he decides ,it is his decision only . Link to post Share on other sites
Author FairyTale73 Posted March 19, 2009 Author Share Posted March 19, 2009 You find that funny? some people are amazing you have already broken the poor mans heart he just doesn't know it yet is everything going to be just fine for your H? Wait a min so your both engaged not married yet? I thought you said in your 1st post he was your husband already? something smells fishy here... Fairy Tale? I wonder.. 1-Its not funny,Spanks, but I naturally laugh at all negative to make it a bit positive , so sorry if you got it so bad .. 2-Nothing is fishy if you read carefully . 3-Not to break his heart,----> I am sitting here and sharing on the forum and with him .. Link to post Share on other sites
Adri Ana Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Adri Ana, no one can be 100% sure what happens in future . I believe in Destiny . And regarding him* I love , I just wish him* to make his decisions himself, I shant ever press (its very irregular for me) I shant ever stress him* (I love him dearly,I want him* be happy on all levels) I shant ask him* or make him* to do anything . He* is engaged as well , After my possible divorce I wont ask him* to move in with me , noway , as I wont stress him* ever , but at least I will know that I did an honest action towards both my husband and my him* , giving my husband a freedom to be happy his own way , and letting know my him* that I am there for him* .. but to stress him*- I wont do that ever . He* will make his own decisons himself . I am very independent ,and I may be single and feel very well . ..till he* decides .. if he* decides .. I wont ever press and stress .. that wont happen. Ok. So lets figure it out by summing up: You are getting divorced . you do not tell your someone special to do same, you do not want to press and stress , ok acceptable . Now you are refusing to have the second baby , so what we can sum up : You are devoting your life to your someone special while you wont have more kids , time will pass, you may stay alone after all .... and your life is devoted to your love of your life .. just a fairy tale playing out in reality ,hmmm Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I got it so bad? ok lady what ever you say lol.. Ive had enough of this bed time story tell your H I feel for him.. and mr * s wife to be as well... Link to post Share on other sites
Author FairyTale73 Posted March 19, 2009 Author Share Posted March 19, 2009 Ok. So lets figure it out by summing up: You are getting divorced . you do not tell your someone special to do same, you do not want to press and stress , ok acceptable . Now you are refusing to have the second baby , so what we can sum up : You are devoting your life to your someone special while you wont have more kids , time will pass, you may stay alone after all .... and your life is devoted to your love of your life .. just a fairy tale playing out in reality ,hmmm I shall be Honest by doing it with my self,my love and my God . ~I want my husband to find his happiness . I am feeling a real human love towards him . I wish him his own happiness . ~I want my self to live with a pure soul . ~I want my him* to make his* own decisions . I wont forgive my self if I make him ever "make" any decision because I DID it .. this wont happen . Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I shall be Honest by doing it with my self,my love and my God . ~I want my husband to find his happiness . I am feeling a real human love towards him . I wish him his own happiness . ~I want my self to live with a pure soul . ~I want my him* to make his* own decisions . I wont forgive my self if I make him ever "make" any decision because I DID it .. this wont happen . And didnt you say these two things to your husband when you married him or was it all a lie? Right now it's the guilt talking. I dont know who you are or where you come from but something is seriously wrong with you! why wont you fix it! why take the cowards way out? Or is your life one big harlequin novel that never ends? Do you even live in the real world. You marry a man, give him ten years then tell him oh well I want you to find someone else? WTF? I would be so pissed off. You married the man under false pretences. What a fraud! Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 You are some piece of work. You say you will not sleep with the other man because you will not betray him that way -- because he is loyal to you -- YOU ARE BETRAYING HIM 1. BY THE TIME YOU SPEND WITH THIS OTHER MAN 2. BY THE INDULGENCE OF "LOVE" WITH THIS OTHER MAN You say you will not interfere in this man's relationship YET YOU ARE INTERFERING 1. BY EVEN SPENDING ANY TIME WITH HIM 2. BY PROFESSING YOUR VERY INAPPROPRIATE FEELINGS You say you want to live with a pure soul. BUT you are NOT pure. Far from it. You are the instrument of deception. You are causing pain to others though they may not know it yet. You are betraying your husband You are disloyal in action and thought You are selfish, thoughtless, and cruel And you KNOW all of this yet you choose to put your head in the sand and ignore the destruction you are causing UNBELIEVABLE Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 This "Woman" knows nothing of true loyalty!!! Link to post Share on other sites
datura_noir Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Soooo..... You are content to be just a feather in the winds of life, drifting and wafting due to the whims or decisions of others. You want your husband to be the one to file for diveorce, hopefully because he finds true love-and you place no demands on your *One* because you are content just to bask in his luv? Why not wake up from your dream and take charge of your life. Do you have a job? Are you an artist by any chance? Have you tried counseling? Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Cheating - giving your heart to someone else - YOU SAY . If you give your heart to someone else by your own wish - then its cheating , but when you feel deep love for someone, love , which you were resisting with all your powers,but did not succeed as it really entered your soul and captivated it , then its Not Cheating , Its Happenning unintentionally. I do not like cheating . But here's the thing... It didn't happen "unintentionally". You didn't walk past this guy, and then suddenly and completely fall helplessly in love with him in a single screaming instant. If you did...your problems are greater than the scope that this board is able to handle. Love is BUILT UP. It doesn't "just happen"...it's a result, a culmination and accumulation of many actions. The most common "emotional affair scenario" is like this: You casually meet someone. You may or may not find yourself initially attracted to this person. Regardless, something causes the two of you to begin interacting with each other...a work project, a shared hobby, whatever. At first, it starts out with "safe" conversation, relevent to the circumstances of your initial interaction. You talk hobby, business, whatever. Then, SLOWLY, you begin to share slightly more personal information that really isn't relevent at all to what you're doing. "Yes, I'm married. I've got four kids. My dogs eyes are blue...again, whatever." It's all 'innocent', but it's also far from relevent to the reason you're interacting. Then, it slowly morphs even further. He throws an offhand compliment which makes you feel great. You comment about how bad your marriage is. He casually mentions that he and his wife hadn't been intimate in years. You compare that to the distance between you and your H. He gives you a slightly more "suggestive" compliment...how nice your body looks, etc.... This progresses for a while...getting more and more "off the line". The flirtations become more pronounced. The attraction really starts to get fierce. And somewhere during this, you realize that you're deliberately NOT telling your H about certain aspects of your interaction with this guy. You know that if you were to mention "xxx" to your H, he totally wouldn't understand, he'd be angry. You might even start to realize here that you've "crossed a line"...but it feels so good, you don't want to jeopardize anything by telling your H. So you keep quiet...and the "love" grows. See...this isn't a "mistake". It didn't "just happen". It's not "unintentional" all the way through the point that you're in love with some other man. Not at all...it's a series of choices and actions that LED you to that point. And that's what makes it just as "wrong" as if you'd deliberately slept with this guy. Because you're lying to your H...lies by ommission are no less lies. Because you CHOSE to let this man into your heart, into your life...to let this man replace your H in the spot that you had promised was for him alone...your heart. Yes...I say that EA's are cheating...and so do the vast majority of others out there. Do a google search on "emotional affair"...compare that to what you're going through, and what I've described. It's cheating...just as much as if you'd "done the deed". What you're doing now is splitting hairs trying to rationalize your position. It's just like saying "well, he didn't actually put it IN me, so it wasn't sexual...even though we both 'finished' together". It doesn't fly. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 ROTFLMBO!!! We are dealing with a truly lovelorn romantic (as in, makes absolutely no sense when speaking with sane people not under the same influence). Have you guys seen those commercials warning the kids about what they really are like on drugs? The OP is in love and can't see that everything she is stating is contradictory. Good luck pointing that out, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 This "Woman" knows nothing of true loyalty!!! She knows nothing of writing, as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 She knows nothing of writing, as well. :laugh:;) ...That was funny. Link to post Share on other sites
NewSunrise Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Why do I suddenly feel like I'm in the middle of a bad Shakespeare in the park... You sound unhappy with your marriage why not change that? :D:D:D!!!! LOL!! Exactly my thought. :D:D Gotta say, it's a damn page turner... More! More! For thy beloved shant succumb to turn the tides of thy yearning heart---for it is him* that thy heart resides in her, not the loyalty and love for thy husband. FairyTale---I see the forthcoming of evil beyond thy path. In due time, the truths of Heavens shall prevail over the shadows of your choice. Thy husband's night shall become day and your day shall become night. Your husband's suffering shall become yours. Ok, I'm done...LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 :D:D:D!!!! LOL!! Exactly my thought. :D:D Gotta say, it's a damn page turner... More! More! For thy beloved shant succumb to turn the tides of thy yearning heart---for it is him* that thy heart resides in her, not the loyalty and love for thy husband. FairyTale---I see the forthcoming of evil beyond thy path. In due time, the truths of Heavens shall prevail over the shadows of your choice. Thy husband's night shall become day and your day shall become night. Your husband's suffering shall become yours. Ok, I'm done...LOL! Hear ye hear ye! now were is my servant wench! thi cup needith filling dam it lol.. Link to post Share on other sites
NewSunrise Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Hear ye hear ye! now were is my servant wench! thi cup needith filling dam it lol.. :D:D Thy servant wench left the building with Elvis!:laugh:..lol... But starbucks is around the corner...:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
lyadm Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I can appreciate your post. I am in much of the same position. I can't really feel guilty about what I have done, I just know we had something that I had never felt with anyone else at any point in a relationship as long as I have been alive. With that being said after I confessed my feelings to my friend he believed he was the reason for all the problems in my marriage. He is very wrong, and he is feeling guilty about something that has nothing to do with him. The problems were there years before I knew him. I tried for years to do what I could, but I got very tired...emotionally and physically. He brought joy back into my life, and I really had something going on in my life I could feel good about. I would never judge anyone, and certainly not you. I know exactly how you feel. Focus on a life for you, that makes you happy and your child. If it is meant to be, it will be. Link to post Share on other sites
NewSunrise Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 FairyTale---on a serious note, treat your husband the way you would like to be treated. Put yourself in his shoes. You haven't been honest with him nor with yourself. If what you seek is not with your husband, you have two choices. 1. Let your husband know 2. Leave I think you know that either way, your affair will be let out in the open. So why delay the inevitable unless you're biding your time to see if the other side is actually greener minus the fluffs. Link to post Share on other sites
Adele. Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I have three words... Confess to your husband* I'm not a math whiz....but isn't that 4? Link to post Share on other sites
65tr6 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I'm not a math whiz....but isn't that 4? I got your attention didnt I ? lol, no that was an honest mistake. Good gracious. What is going on with me ? ...I used to do all the numbers in my head and now I cant even count....Damn computers made me so lazy. On the bright side I am learning a lot about relationships ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author FairyTale73 Posted March 20, 2009 Author Share Posted March 20, 2009 This "Woman" knows nothing of true loyalty!!! and what is it - true loyalty - according to your understanding ? true loyalty is 1) breaking my H heart ? 2) breaking his woman`s heart ? 3) just having sex as prooving my love with him whom I love? 4) or having sex with my H as I am his W ? which you choose from the 4 or you have your own option of being "truly loyal" ? Link to post Share on other sites
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