A While With Him* is more worth than ....

[FairyTale73]

She knows nothing of writing, as well.

 

 

if it was told about me,

 

I truly did not pretend to write as a writer on the forum of discussing relationships ..

 

By the way its my first time I ever discuss my personal things,

as I never ever do it with any any any one..

 

 

though you just do not know who I am in real,

I just wanted to hear some opinions .

 

I see,all who wrote me are just "the writers" training their writing skills without having any lie experience ,especially in the field of mine present.

 

 

Thank you anyway .Its an entertainment to read your responses and see how different psychoemotional states of mind may be .

[FairyTale73]

I can appreciate your post. I am in much of the same position. I can't really feel guilty about what I have done, I just know we had something that I had never felt with anyone else at any point in a relationship as long as I have been alive. With that being said after I confessed my feelings to my friend he believed he was the reason for all the problems in my marriage. He is very wrong, and he is feeling guilty about something that has nothing to do with him. The problems were there years before I knew him. I tried for years to do what I could, but I got very tired...emotionally and physically. He brought joy back into my life, and I really had something going on in my life I could feel good about. I would never judge anyone, and certainly not you. I know exactly how you feel. Focus on a life for you, that makes you happy and your child. If it is meant to be, it will be.

 

 

Thank you for your support .

I really do not want even by a bit bit that he* would feel ever guilty for anything .

All steps I make in life I do just under my own responsibility . Always .

[FairyTale73]

:D:D:D!!!! LOL!! Exactly my thought. :D:D

 

Gotta say, it's a damn page turner...

 

More! More! For thy beloved shant succumb to turn the tides of thy yearning heart---for it is him* that thy heart resides in her, not the loyalty and love for thy husband.

 

FairyTale---I see the forthcoming of evil beyond thy path. In due time, the truths of Heavens shall prevail over the shadows of your choice. Thy husband's night shall become day and your day shall become night. Your husband's suffering shall become yours.

 

Ok, I'm done...LOL!

 

 

 

 

Look,dear,

my day wont become night ,

be sure of that,

but your day may become a night ,as you are very much overseeing the truth missing the moment of the truth* .

I am sorry .

But you wont have that joy of proving your *post*

[FairyTale73]

You are some piece of work.

 

You say you will not sleep with the other man because you will not betray him that way -- because he is loyal to you --

 

YOU ARE BETRAYING HIM

 

1. BY THE TIME YOU SPEND WITH THIS OTHER MAN

2. BY THE INDULGENCE OF "LOVE" WITH THIS OTHER MAN

 

 

You say you will not interfere in this man's relationship

 

YET YOU ARE INTERFERING

 

1. BY EVEN SPENDING ANY TIME WITH HIM

2. BY PROFESSING YOUR VERY INAPPROPRIATE FEELINGS

 

You say you want to live with a pure soul.

 

BUT you are NOT pure. Far from it.

 

You are the instrument of deception.

You are causing pain to others though they may not know it yet.

You are betraying your husband

You are disloyal in action and thought

You are selfish, thoughtless, and cruel

 

And you KNOW all of this

 

yet you choose to put your head in the sand and ignore the destruction you are causing

 

UNBELIEVABLE

 

 

 

 

Ok.Lets imagine all the bull**** you spread in your post

is true .

 

Now tell me what YOU would do in MY place ?

 

 

1-would break Your family right away ?

2-would tell your husband all the truth breaking him as a person ,as a man ?

3-or would just stop talking to your someone at all letting him live a calm life without you ?

4-or you would maybe tell your someone`s woman about your love story and break her heart breaking on the same path your H`s heart too ?

5-or maybe you would try to forget all and just make the second kid with your H and try to remake your family starting acting again ?

6-and what would you tell your someone ? "oh,dear,it was just an affair,I just had fun with u...now bye bye,I go to my hubby .. oh,so sorry" ? is it what you would tell him ?

 

 

 

7-are you at all INTO the story I told ?

 

_________

I have a feeling ,someone stole your bank account today ,

and you are spreading your evil on them on this forum today ...

ooops....Incredibly true.

[FairyTale73]

But here's the thing...

 

It didn't happen "unintentionally". You didn't walk past this guy, and then suddenly and completely fall helplessly in love with him in a single screaming instant.

 

If you did...your problems are greater than the scope that this board is able to handle.

 

Love is BUILT UP. It doesn't "just happen"...it's a result, a culmination and accumulation of many actions.

 

The most common "emotional affair scenario" is like this:

 

You casually meet someone. You may or may not find yourself initially attracted to this person. Regardless, something causes the two of you to begin interacting with each other...a work project, a shared hobby, whatever.

 

At first, it starts out with "safe" conversation, relevent to the circumstances of your initial interaction. You talk hobby, business, whatever.

 

Then, SLOWLY, you begin to share slightly more personal information that really isn't relevent at all to what you're doing. "Yes, I'm married. I've got four kids. My dogs eyes are blue...again, whatever." It's all 'innocent', but it's also far from relevent to the reason you're interacting.

 

Then, it slowly morphs even further. He throws an offhand compliment which makes you feel great. You comment about how bad your marriage is. He casually mentions that he and his wife hadn't been intimate in years. You compare that to the distance between you and your H. He gives you a slightly more "suggestive" compliment...how nice your body looks, etc....

 

This progresses for a while...getting more and more "off the line". The flirtations become more pronounced. The attraction really starts to get fierce.

 

And somewhere during this, you realize that you're deliberately NOT telling your H about certain aspects of your interaction with this guy. You know that if you were to mention "xxx" to your H, he totally wouldn't understand, he'd be angry. You might even start to realize here that you've "crossed a line"...but it feels so good, you don't want to jeopardize anything by telling your H. So you keep quiet...and the "love" grows.

 

See...this isn't a "mistake". It didn't "just happen". It's not "unintentional" all the way through the point that you're in love with some other man. Not at all...it's a series of choices and actions that LED you to that point.

 

And that's what makes it just as "wrong" as if you'd deliberately slept with this guy.

 

Because you're lying to your H...lies by ommission are no less lies. Because you CHOSE to let this man into your heart, into your life...to let this man replace your H in the spot that you had promised was for him alone...your heart.

 

Yes...I say that EA's are cheating...and so do the vast majority of others out there. Do a google search on "emotional affair"...compare that to what you're going through, and what I've described.

 

It's cheating...just as much as if you'd "done the deed".

 

What you're doing now is splitting hairs trying to rationalize your position. It's just like saying "well, he didn't actually put it IN me, so it wasn't sexual...even though we both 'finished' together".

 

It doesn't fly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Look,Owl,

 

 

From the "third" eye its always easy to discuss a stranger`s life .

Its true and u know that too .

 

 

If it happened to you,it would be much harder .

 

 

 

Now I wont repeat all same things as I have told already OPs,

but just wanna tell you...

 

You heard about soul ever ?

Is the soul ever obliged if a person owning it is obliged by some formal rules and official documents ?

 

Yes,I am married officially and documents are saying I am the W of my H .

True .

 

But My Soul loves him* whom loves and will always love him ,

u know why ?

Because he is my soul puzzle`s missing part and he will always stay in it .

 

I cant break lives .

Thats why I cant open all the affair to my H,his* woman,all the world .

Yes,I have to hold all in my self .

But I do not lie as I do not see him*,I do not meet him*,I do not make love with him* . I do all to avoid cheating on my H and on my family.

I am aware of the Dignity of a Woman as well .

 

 

I married my H as I was in love with him,I am still in love,just human love,

but he is not of my soul ,he is not in my soul , he is not my soul as he* is .

I promised what ? Actually I did not make any promises,however the marriage itself is a Promise,yes,true,

so am faithful and loyal on the level I may be in the situation of mine . .

 

And never forget ,

a true committment to death may be done truly only once if you are lucky enough to meet that one* ....

 

 

and I personally ask you to be less harsh .

First experience and feel all I do,

and after that judge .

As Judging is the easiest,one knows well ..

[NoIDidn't]

Ok.Lets imagine all the bull**** you spread in your post

is true .

 

Now tell me what YOU would do in MY place ?

 

 

1-would break Your family right away ?

2-would tell your husband all the truth breaking him as a person ,as a man ?

3-or would just stop talking to your someone at all letting him live a calm life without you ?

4-or you would maybe tell your someone`s woman about your love story and break her heart breaking on the same path your H`s heart too ?

5-or maybe you would try to forget all and just make the second kid with your H and try to remake your family starting acting again ?

6-and what would you tell your someone ? "oh,dear,it was just an affair,I just had fun with u...now bye bye,I go to my hubby .. oh,so sorry" ? is it what you would tell him ?

 

 

 

7-are you at all INTO the story I told ?

 

_________

I have a feeling ,someone stole your bank account today ,

and you are spreading your evil on them on this forum today ...

ooops....Incredibly true.

 

People get divorced all the time. There is life after a broken heart.

 

You are a lovelorn fool. A fool in love and can't see the path for the light being put on it right in front of you.

 

What would she do in your place? Apparently not what you are doing.

 

Why do fools in love always make the obvious seem so da*n hard?!!! Its not that hard. Its simple. Dust off the Pixie Dust, hun. What advice would you give a friend if they clearly were sounding out of their heads?!

[CaliforniaGirl]

**********

 

 

 

By any chance, is some or all of this a fortune cookie?

 

 

 

The lights on our wedding switched off 10 years ago in spite of all preparations ,generators with newest candles (a technical part of a generator) in them.Was it the sign this marriage would not last forever as I had been thinking of it then as every bride would .. ?

 

 

I cant say I never had blissfull and happy moments in my life with my husband ever . I cant say my marriage is an unhappy marriage or ever was such . No . I was doing all to make it happy . And here everything is seen ,I guess . Here everything is understandable . When I need to make it happy as it cant flow itself happy - here the answer is itself .

 

 

Before meeting him*,with whom I am just my self without any acting happy emotions flow between us and we both are making each other laugh and hold each others` hands ..

 

This never happened/happens with my hubby whom I did support,whom I always protected, but all I got was just else demands to support him and to protect him ,

while he himself may very easily just blame and accuse me if I have a little problem on some level,professional or emotional , all he does is blaming and accusing me making me feel so hurt and so angry at the same time,

we start to fight which recently ends up in My demand to divorce .

I prefer to stay single than in such a marriage in which we are a Couple just Outside ,others see us as a Couple ,successful on just a professional level, while at Home we are very very far from being a Couple at all ...as we are not successfull on an emotional level .

 

I understand very well , that each coin has two sides .

Its not just him ,its my fault too .. I am tired of acting the way he likes,I am sick and tired of all this ..

This causes that I make him unhappy . Yes. I make him unhappy as I am tired of acting .

 

 

I met a person* ,not now,no, years ago ,

and this person* is not the cause of my possible divorce,I do not like to call him* this way . But he is the cause of my Happiness which I do feel with him* ,

and I truly admit that Each While Spent with him* is More Worth than All Years of My "Respectful" Marriage .

 

 

...yes,all I have for my hubby is a Mental Respect .

But its not emotional .. On the emotional level I have a Zero for him ,

he is not happy with me either ,as I do not want to act to match his needs ..

 

I found him* with whom we need not to act to make each other happy ,

but happiness flows between us on the highest level of love and affection for each other with respect,emotional support and all ..

 

I do not know how we shall be together even if I get divorced,

though I wish this so much ,but ... (its another story) . I just wanna be single . Then half of the way to being together would be done ..

 

 

I know all possible reactions to my post.

I know all about the spent years,yes,we had spent years ,both easy and not easy with my hubby . We experienced many things . We have a kid..

He wants a second kid,he is trying his best to make all nice,yes,he is trying ,but he is not the emotional match to me ..

 

I officially refused to make another kid with him .. it makes me rather frustrated ... as I have a very high maternal instinct and I want kids ,

but I do not want to connect with my hubby with one more kid .. God bless mine one baby I have with him ,I love him so much ,

but another kid in such a situation is not the fair thing ..

 

 

Actually I do not have any sex with my hubby not because I do not love sex,no,

I have very urgent desires for sex and sensual love ,

but I cant lay with him loving another person * .. I am Committed to him* ..........................Its rather frustrating ..

......................................................................Its realy very frustrating .

[NoIDidn't]

**********

 

 

 

By any chance, is some or all of this a fortune cookie?

 

Nah, fortune cookies actually make a point at the end.

[Island Girl]

Ok.Lets imagine all the bull**** you spread in your post

is true .

 

If your "story" isn't true than you are doing what we here call "troll posting".

 

My response IS true if indeed yours is...

 

Now tell me what YOU would do in MY place ?

 

Okay!

 

1-would break Your family right away ?

 

That would be up to my husband actually.

I'm sure there would be some discussion of that but hopefully counseling would be discussed as well.

 

2-would tell your husband all the truth breaking him as a person ,as a man ?

 

Actually I would treat my husband with the respect and dignity he deserves and I'd be HONEST with him.

 

If he has spent 10 years standing by me and creating a family with me -- it is the LEAST I could do.

And that actually shows respect for him as a man and as a fellow human being.

 

3-or would just stop talking to your someone at all letting him live a calm life without you ?

 

Exactly. I am married to another person. I took vows to "forsake ALL others".

There was no addendum that said "forsaking all others unless"

 

4-or you would maybe tell your someone`s woman about your love story and break her heart breaking on the same path your H`s heart too ?

 

First of all, I wouldn't let it get to the point where he became a "someone".

I would have discussed being attracted to someone else with my husband - and NEVER acted upon the attraction.

 

And second, that "someone" deserves his own happiness and where he finds it is none of my concern.

It is none of my business.

And I would wish him happiness with his SO.

 

5-or maybe you would try to forget all and just make the second kid with your H and try to remake your family starting acting again ?

 

I would work on my marriage with my husband. And try to make our relationship work.

At the end of that if we decided to have a child then that would be what we decided.

But whatever the case may be we would make those decisions TOGETHER.

 

6-and what would you tell your someone ? "oh,dear,it was just an affair,I just had fun with u...now bye bye,I go to my hubby .. oh,so sorry" ? is it what you would tell him ?

 

I wouldn't have told this other person of any attraction as that in itself is inappropriate.

But if he knew then I would tell him that nothing could be pursued because I am MARRIED.

There would be no "oh, so sorry" because he would know that I am married and there could be NO RELATIONSHIP.

 

 

7-are you at all INTO the story I told ?

 

Into it? Like reading a good book? Ugh no.

 

If it is indeed a "story" it is poorly written and lacks content to grip the reader.

 

If it is the truth, and this is your life right now, we are all basically saying the same thing.

 

It is you who are turning a deaf ear.

 

I have a feeling ,someone stole your bank account today ,

and you are spreading your evil on them on this forum today ...

ooops....Incredibly true.

 

Did your crystal ball tell you this? Or the other fairies?

 

Because like you are in your current situation -- you couldn't be more WRONG.

[Chrome Barracuda]

and what is it - true loyalty - according to your understanding ?

 

true loyalty is

1) breaking my H heart ?

2) breaking his woman`s heart ?

3) just having sex as prooving my love with him whom I love?

4) or having sex with my H as I am his W ?

 

 

which you choose from the 4

or you have your own option of being "truly loyal" ?

 

Bull****, your not thinking of your marriage!!!! Only you control your feelings and your feelings are not in control of you!!!

 

If you want out, the get out, tell your husband the truth. God arent you tired of lying to yourself!!!??1 WTF is this how you gonna go through life? indecisive, foolish, loafing, trifling? I mean WTF can you not just think on your own?

[SpanksTheMonkey]

Hey fairy why don't you try less insults and more listing allot of these people have been in the same situation and made the hard choice that you are dancing around on.

 

You ask for advice here then take it for what is worth but please don't insult us for trying to help! Remember people are taking time out of their days to give you advice show some respect ha..

[pelicanpreacher]

Ok.Lets imagine all the bull**** you spread in your post

is true .

 

Now tell me what YOU would do in MY place ?

 

 

1-would break Your family right away ?

2-would tell your husband all the truth breaking him as a person ,as a man ?

3-or would just stop talking to your someone at all letting him live a calm life without you ?

4-or you would maybe tell your someone`s woman about your love story and break her heart breaking on the same path your H`s heart too ?

5-or maybe you would try to forget all and just make the second kid with your H and try to remake your family starting acting again ?

6-and what would you tell your someone ? "oh,dear,it was just an affair,I just had fun with u...now bye bye,I go to my hubby .. oh,so sorry" ? is it what you would tell him ?

 

 

 

7-are you at all INTO the story I told ?

 

_________

I have a feeling ,someone stole your bank account today ,

and you are spreading your evil on them on this forum today ...

ooops....Incredibly true.

 

Here's a thought...

 

Loyalty born of love fears neither pain nor recriminations of the truth.

Though the truth shall set you free it ain't always pretty and rarely ever free! It is in truth that love binds and strengthens loyalty so you cannot be loyal enabling a lie.

 

Tell your husband why you will not bear another child with him.

Tell your husband why his ways have made you unhappy.

Tell your husband why you are no longer committed to this marriage.

Tell your husband why you have chosen to forsake his love for another.

 

Your husband is a grown man with all the faculities of a competent adult.

Give him an opportunity to grow within himself, make decisions for himself, and bear the consequences of his own behavior. It is patently unfair and disloyal to mask the truth for the sake of false tranquility as there promises destruction and devastation for any unwitting soul caught wandering in the eye of the storm.

[Bluebird In My Heart]

He*, who made your loins tremble with an unquenchable, forbidden desire that mere mortals could never comprehend, isn't with you.

 

He* is being dragged down the aisle, by Her*.

 

It fills my heart with impotent rage to think of it ......... I cannot bear to think of Him* taking Her* to bed,

 

 

I know that He* rips Her* bodice........he does it only with the most reluctant sigh.......

 

and He* is merely doing it

out of duty.

 

For We know, He* is truly thinking of..........

 

......... another .......

 

The reason This is happening is,

 

the Love is so Great, it is not of this Earth and, even the Gods are Jealous.

[jj33]

I edited out my post - just not worth it.

[OpenBook]

The OP's situation and attitude are an apt example of something I've always wondered about... how a CS can so flagrantly and egregiously take their spouse for granted. How can you be so confident that he will stick around for you? Have you no fear of losing him at all? It must be quite something to expect your life partner to always stay by your side, forever and ever, no matter what you do to him.

[bentnotbroken]

I tried to read this whole thread. Couldn't do it. I have a sinus infection and the laughing makes my head hurt. I am smiling though:p:rolleyes:

[jj33]

I think its a troll see Romantic Bride on the Infidelity Forum

[FairyTale73]

I think its a troll see Romantic Bride on the Infidelity Forum

 

 

and why my thread ,one of tens of thousands of all ,

which are replied with respect to the posters on this forum regularly,

made you think its a troll the owner of my thread disrespecting me as a person ?

[FairyTale73]

I tried to read this whole thread. Couldn't do it. I have a sinus infection and the laughing makes my head hurt. I am smiling though:p:rolleyes:

 

 

Better -treat your sinusitis than sit here,or you will have meningitis soon.

Google it if you have no knowledge in medical terms like no knowledge in anything else except bla bla blas saying nothing,Bent [which pose?] . Hehe.

[FairyTale73]

Hey fairy why don't you try less insults and more listing allot of these people have been in the same situation and made the hard choice that you are dancing around on.

 

You ask for advice here then take it for what is worth but please don't insult us for trying to help! Remember people are taking time out of their days to give you advice show some respect ha..

 

 

I show respect.

I did not ask any advice by the way .

You did not notice it ?

[FairyTale73]

Bull****, your not thinking of your marriage!!!! Only you control your feelings and your feelings are not in control of you!!!

 

If you want out, the get out, tell your husband the truth. God arent you tired of lying to yourself!!!??1 WTF is this how you gonna go through life? indecisive, foolish, loafing, trifling? I mean WTF can you not just think on your own?

 

 

What an emotional post !

 

What makes you so full of emotions ? Is the topic close to your heart ?

 

Now replying you ,

 

1-I am not lying to my self . Really not . My self knows the truth .

 

2-Indecisive ? And making a decision to break several lives is the best way to solve one`s own problems ?

-Foolish ? Look into the mirror,man .

 

 

 

With respect,FairyTale.

[FairyTale73]

He*, who made your loins tremble with an unquenchable, forbidden desire that mere mortals could never comprehend, isn't with you.

 

He* is being dragged down the aisle, by Her*.

 

It fills my heart with impotent rage to think of it ......... I cannot bear to think of Him* taking Her* to bed,

 

 

I know that He* rips Her* bodice........he does it only with the most reluctant sigh.......

 

and He* is merely doing it

out of duty.

 

For We know, He* is truly thinking of..........

 

......... another .......

 

The reason This is happening is,

 

the Love is so Great, it is not of this Earth and, even the Gods are Jealous.

 

 

 

Loved your post . Seems so erotic * ... uhh uhh ..

just without any sense .. pity pity .. mmmmm ...

[FairyTale73]

The OP's situation and attitude are an apt example of something I've always wondered about... how a CS can so flagrantly and egregiously take their spouse for granted. How can you be so confident that he will stick around for you? Have you no fear of losing him at all? It must be quite something to expect your life partner to always stay by your side, forever and ever, no matter what you do to him.

 

 

Which book you took your knowledge from ?

[FairyTale73]

People get divorced all the time. There is life after a broken heart.

 

You are a lovelorn fool. A fool in love and can't see the path for the light being put on it right in front of you.

 

What would she do in your place? Apparently not what you are doing.

 

Why do fools in love always make the obvious seem so da*n hard?!!! Its not that hard. Its simple. Dust off the Pixie Dust, hun. What advice would you give a friend if they clearly were sounding out of their heads?!

 

 

I would give the advice to get divorced .

And to lead a single life .

Never press or stress the one you love .

Its the fairest.

 

__________________________________

 

 

Just you seem to me the most noble and reasonable,NoIDidn`t .

 

__________________________________

 

And I just said myself really same . That I would get divorced and lead a single life,but provocative posters are asking me to act harsh and stupid .

[Awakening]

Fairy, I hope English is not your primary language