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what di I do?


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she isnt into drugs unless she started the last few weeks---she comes from a great family who are very tight and a greta group of friends--I dont know what she is thinking--her and I were very close---I am cutting the chord on her--she needs to mnake seroius changes and let go of her past if she wants me in her life as even a friend

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Why would you want somebody capable of such heinous behavior in your life ever??? Write her off, delete her from your hard drive and just plain forget her. There is no reason to be a friend to somebody who has treated you this way.

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Tony,

Iam just recently adopting that attitude. I am very angry with her for not being truthful w/ me. She still doesnt know that i know. One day i will have my chance to say something to her. We were very close. It is hard to let go of someone you have a connection with. But as close as I think we were she still held truths from me that I deserved to know.

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For your own sake, you first have to accept completely that it is over between you two. You have to commit yourself to moving on. If you don't, then every time you see her a part of you is going to want to keep fighting for her and trying to "win" her back. You can't force a girl to like you or be attracted to you. In fact, if you try to force it, the woman only gets more uncomfortable.

 

Your ex is not the first dingbat chick to have an affinity for drug addicts, alcoholics or jailbirds. When I was in college, I used to see it all the time. These beautiful young 18 or 19 year-old-princesses from the suburbs hanging out with these Metallica or Nirvana lookalikes, or these really rich, spoiled, controlling a-holes. Women - and especially young naive women - love a good challenge. They love the idea of being someone's savior so that their mate will love them and appreciate them more in later years. Your ex will probably find out the hard way that she can't change people. She may even get herself into a mess she can't get herself out of quickly, but that's her problem. Don't try to be HER savior. You've already tried.

 

It's cliche, but the best advice is to move on. Go find someone more mature who isn't looking for someone to save.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Rug abuse hey? Sounds furry! Sorry could not resist the typo. You will be as self destructive as she is if you allow her to continue to exploit you. She may not have been deliberately manipulative she may just be screwed up. These scenarios when you meet seem to be worries about how you will cope (don't put yourself in that position if you feel too vulnerable) and figuring out ways to hurt her (you will hurt yourself more). Rise above it.

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