happy girl Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 My friend and I have been flirting quite a bit. My life has been an emotional rollercoaster ride and he is always there to listen and comfort me. One night when I was really upset, he spent the evening just holding me. He also tells me very personal things about himself that I he wouldn't tell other people. Once he said that he was trying to decide if I am the ideal woman or not. We are always looking into each others eyes for a long time. Sometimes we go out to eat with a group of friends and he pays for my meal. He sticks up for me when someone is making me uncomfortable. He fixes things for me when I need help. Someone that we both know was getting a little clingy with me, thinking I was interested in him and I turned him down. My friend immediately called to see what had happened. We were also giving each other a hard time once and he did something to act like he didn't want a hug, so I just hugged everyone except him. He called me then too, he had to make sure I knew he was kidding. Does it sound like he wants us to be more than friends? If so, how should I let him know I want that too, without making things awkward between us?
SlyMan320 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 you could just start off telling him that you've had feelings for him for (blank) amount of weeks/months/years and just leave it at that. Don't suggest being more of a friend or anything. Simply lay the cards on the table. If he feels the same, he'll respond with the same thing. If not, he will just respond with "I'd love to just keep our friendship as is". Its not like hes gonna be mad at you forever. If anything, I'm sure he will be flattered. The only thing you really have to put effort in is just asking him yourself. Its not impossible, by any means. Hope i helped!
WarKat Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 Your scenario sounds like the complement of my current one, mine being that I am the guy who is unsure how to proceed with a girl who sounds a lot like your situation. It definitely sounds like he is interested in being more than friends, but at the same time (speaking from my situation), being that your life is an "emotional rollercoaster ride", he doesn't want to become just a passing comfort or distraction, or in some cases, the dreaded "rebound guy". From what you say, he cares about you a lot, he wants to be there for you, wants to help you through your current struggles, but doesn't want to be used, rejected or taken for granted. To break it down; 1) He pays for your meals sometimes. (wants to nourish you) 2) He listens and comforts you. (hates to see you unhappy) 3) Shares his personal information with you. (building emotional trust and intimacy) 4) Sticks up for you (protects you) 5) Fixes things (I assume mechanical type things, wants you to be comfortable) 6) Takes an interest in your life and who is in it. 7) Doesn't want to seem too needy or clingy but doesn't want you to think that he doesn't want a hug (he lives for your hugs) Unfortunately today's society jeers and trivializes the true kind gentlemen in the world, and has labeled them "nice guys" also known as doormats. There are men who want to be kind and gentle, but don't want to become a doormat. I agree with SlyMan, the best way to go about it is to just tell him, as Vonda Shephard sings... "If you want him to be the very part of you That makes you want to breathe Here's the thing to do Tell him that you're never gonna leave him Tell him that you're always gonna love him Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now" Best of luck
Author happy girl Posted March 19, 2009 Author Posted March 19, 2009 Thank you SlyMan and WarKat for your input, I am going to let him know tonight! He is a wonderful man and honestly, I have never considered him as just a friend. Just to let you know, nice guys are not thought of as doormats to all women. I wish there were more nice guys in the world, that take care of the people around them and genuinely care. WarKat, it sounds to me that your friend would be lucky to have you as her boyfriend. Continue to show her how much you care about her and do romantic things for her that will put you in the potential boyfriend category.
ilikegirls Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 this is how i was to the girl i liked ...almost exactly the same and ive wanted to tell her that i liked her for the longest time..untill one day i put all shyness away and did it... found out she likes me too, but doesnt want a relationship cuz she doesnt want to lose our friendship
lovestruck818 Posted March 19, 2009 Posted March 19, 2009 this is how i was to the girl i liked ...almost exactly the same and ive wanted to tell her that i liked her for the longest time..untill one day i put all shyness away and did it... found out she likes me too, but doesnt want a relationship cuz she doesnt want to lose our friendship I hate that line- such BS though. if ya like someone, ya like someone...u will grow together if it's meant to be, not apart.
SlyMan320 Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 lol i hope everything went over well tonight. Best of Luck!
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