Hanging out with the Ex.

[Gypsie]

There was this guy, he liked me in the beginning, but I wasn't really up for it or anyone really because I had gotten out of a messy thing I had with someone else.

 

We ended up kissing at midnight, NYE. He had asked me earlier if I had wanted to, I thought 'why not', we are both single. That was about it. I never thought much of it after it happened.

 

When we were all over for drinks at my place every now and then, since that night when we all hung out, our mutual friends were like egging me on saying, you should make a move, he's a nice guy, he really likes you and is heaps into you. This went on for quite a bit. The guy was getting good reviews from both he's mates and mine. It felt like everyone was trying to set the two of us up. I still wasn't up for it but.

 

He also ended up Facebook chatting to my room mate (one of the girls) too, asking about me.

 

Then I start getting emails on Facebook from him. He seemed to like really care what I was doing during the day and we would just talk in general as mates. After getting emails for like a couple of weeks, I thought 'maybe he is worth it.' I ended up caving in and saying "yes." We ended up going out on Valentine's Day.

 

Things were going good for about a week or two, then I got the feeling he started too loose interest. Just as soon as I thought everything was going good, he was going on about how he wanted to see me casually, that he was only up for fun, nothing serious. I was like, WTF? I thought it seemed like he wanted more. He was the one that was initiating everything and the one that seemed really keen to begin with.

 

We did casual for a bit, but it ended up ending, I think he just didn't wanna end up hurting me. I had already liked him heaps even before it got to that stage. Strange, how he just seemed to like change he's mind, loose interest in me so quickly, even when we were just hanging out. He seemed to like me so much at first. I didn't hop into bed with him straight away or anything and he seemed cool with that.

 

I think maybe he just liked the chase?

 

I still do have feelings for him, even though we are over. He has also said he still likes me? .

 

But yeah. I don't want to see him casually, FWB. After what happened with the last guy it's turned me off the idea completely. It's been a couple of days. Haven't really heard from him since. I've just got to get over it I guess.

 

The bad thing is, is that he is one of my room mates (my friend's boyfriend's) best mates, he will still be over here a fair bit. I just hope it doesn't get too awkward for the both of us. It should be fine, we don't hate each other, I am not so sure if it will be though, if he brings a girl over or vice verser. Jealousy might come across there, well, it probably will on my side of things.

 

How should I deal with him coming over? Just have never had gone out with one of my room mates mates before. Plus having to deal with seeing an ex again. I am not friends with any of my ex's. I generally avoid that whole thing all together, but in this situation, it's hard because I am living with one of he's mates.

[lammie]

If you're not comfortable seeing him, then make excuse (go out with your other friends) and get out of the house when he's over. It's difficult when he's in the circle of friends, but it's understandable that you need space. One reason i never date within the circle of friends, but you can't control who you fancy.

 

I think he's not worth it and insensitive if he ends up bringing someone over knowing that you guys used to date and things are awkward between you two. And i'm sure your flatmate/friend would think the same since she knew you guys have dated, at least if i were her, would advice him not to do anything stupid, i wouldn't see my friend hurt.

 

I still see two of my ex's. We're still friends. Most of the others i really don't wish to see them. One still stalks me on the internet, it's been 10 years.

 

The situation sucks but just take it easy and go with the flow, that's what i'm trying to do myself as well. Good luck.

[Gypsie]

It just felt like this guy led me on that's all, that once he got me to like him, he didn't care. . That is how it feels.

 

Well, I know my friend won't wanna see me hurt, but her boyfriend who I also live with (the guys mate) probably wouldn't care less. My male room mate has known me heaps longer then the guy (we had only met him like mid last year), yet he values the guy's relationship and feelings over mine which is why I have no choice but to put up with him if he comes over to visit, if I stick around.

 

I think I might do that though, visit other friends if I am not in the mood to hang out with the guy when he comes over again. Just wish things had worked out differently...