confused_2008 Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 I don't know why I'm writing this but it's just been eating at me. I met a girl over my spring break from college when I went to visit a friend of mine at his college. We got along great and I went up to visit her once more before I had to go back to my college. We've talked on the phone a couple times in the last week and had generally good conversations about what's going on in our lives, etc. What's eating at me is when we graduate in May, I'm moving back to my home town, about two hours from her hometown. I've got a job but she's up in the air right now. It's one of those things where my heart's telling me to pursue something with her as I really am interested, but my mind's telling me it's just too hard with the distance and the uncertainty in our lives right now. I don't want to keep in touch and get closer to her and build the possibilities up in my mind only to be disappointed. I know two hours driving distance is nothing to most of you, but I'm just worried trying to start a relationship from scratch like that is too difficult. Link to post Share on other sites
tashaNjesse Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 well the most important thing is are you ready for a long distance relationship think to yourself about that because believe me i know from experience a long distance relationship can take a lot of work(im in 1 right now) and do you think she can handle that but i think if you really like the girl and she likes you y not give it a shot you never know what can happen =} ~Additional note~ If your not ready for all that then try to find someone you like a lil bit closer Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I don't want to keep in touch and get closer to her and build the possibilities up in my mind only to be disappointed. There is risk in every relationship. If you go through your life not making leaps because of the fear of getting hurt you may end up with an unhappy life as well. It is a risk either way. And there are no guarantees. Even if she lived down the street from you. So the question is are you going to live your life with questions of what might have been? Because you'll never know if you don't try. I know two hours driving distance is nothing to most of you, but I'm just worried trying to start a relationship from scratch like that is too difficult. There will be challenges in every relationship. Especially as you get older and relationships become more long term. I did not begin my relationship as a LDR. It was not supposed to be this way. But it is. And would I cast out what I found possibly to never replace it? No way. I dated a lot of people before I met my husband. Some didn't even last three weeks due to incompatibility. Chances at a real connection and real love between two people are rare. So now that I found it I am sticking with it no matter what comes. The distance is just geography and it is temporary. Link to post Share on other sites
Cora Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I believe that it's better to take a chance then to live in fear of being hurt. If you take a chance and it doesn't work out then at least you can say you tried and gave it your all. Yes it may hurt but the pain doesn't last forever and really only makes you stronger and better prepared for the next relationship. Through every failed relationship you learn something new and you learn more about yourself. I would rather look back on my life saying well things didn't work out with that person or this person and chalk it up to another life lesson then to look back and say I wonder what could have happened or I wonder what could have been? On the other hand if you take a chance and things go well you you will have the chance of experiencing something wonderful!! The best of luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
sm0ked Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I think you need to decide whether it's worth the risk. Long distance is hard, sure, but it can work as long as both people are committed and there is a plan to be together as soon as possible. Obviously there's a lot more to it, communication, faith (trust is difficult starting off long-distance, for sure) and well-adjusted attitude. If she's willing, and you are, I'd think it more of a shame not to take a chance on things. Saying that, the fact you have doubt in your mind might be a sign that someone's going to get hurt here. Then again come on, since when was any relationship easy? Long distance or not? There's always a chance you can keep things as "friends but more" kinda thing and see where you go from there. It doesn't have to become a relationship straight off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused_2008 Posted March 24, 2009 Author Share Posted March 24, 2009 Thanks everybody for the responses! I'm just kind of wondering how things should really progress and how to keep the interest level up. How do you stay out of the friend zone in this type of situation? I'm not really good at joking around with people until I get used to being around them so I don't want to seem boring here. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Just stay in contact and get to know each other. Be flirty when appropriate and start contacting a bit more often. Get her to talk about herself and her life. Dialogue her. How soon will you see her in person again? And don't worry about having to be funny here. Just be yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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