I dont know what i should do

[tashaNjesse]

well i have been dating this guy for a year the 25th

i met him in in high school last year and when he graduated he moved to Ny to go to collage and it broke my heart because he moved so far away

and i only get to see him Christmas and summer break and its been since may and i still cry bc i miss him and i never wanted him to leave me like that bc there was a collage here in the next town he could go to but he went to that one well he gets mad over the littlest things and all we can do is talk on the phone and when he gets mad he is always like im gonna go and hangs up on me and when he makes me cry he always thinks im just trying to make him feel bad and he knows i miss him and wanna talk to him but he always says im sorry like 5 hours later and says i love you well if he loves me so much why would he even do this to me in the first place all my friends tell me to move on and find someone who will treat me better but eather way im still gonna hurt and i just wanna be with him

[Island Girl]

well i have been dating this guy for a year the 25th

i met him in in high school last year and when he graduated he moved to Ny to go to collage and it broke my heart because he moved so far away

 

Yeah it's tough but that is what happens when people go to college.

(College - not collage - sorry but they are two completely different things)

 

and i only get to see him Christmas and summer break

 

Again, that is normal. The college semesters are broken up by Christmas and Summer.

 

Sweetie this is what happens and he has no control over that.

 

and its been since may and i still cry bc i miss him and i never wanted him to leave me like that bc there was a collage here in the next town he could go to but he went to that one

 

As far as going to the college in the next town instead, well, there are differences when it comes to strength of the curriculum and name of the college. Some are better than others.

Are you planning on going to college? If so, then have you been looking into colleges and universities as well?

 

 

well he gets mad over the littlest things and all we can do is talk on the phone and when he gets mad he is always like im gonna go and hangs up on me

 

Of course it isn't good that he gets mad over little things.

 

But if he is treating you disrespectfully then you should do something about that.

You can't control what he does.

But you can control your reactions to what he does.

 

and when he makes me cry he always thinks im just trying to make him feel bad

 

You aren't going to like hearing this but you need to start learning how to control your emotions.

 

He may get angry. He may say or do hurtful things.

 

But you do not have to choose to cry at those moments.

 

He is reacting to your crying in a very negative way.

Some guys just don't like crying and they view it as manipulative. Some guys just truly can not handle a girl crying. Especially if they think there is nothing they can do about it.

He isn't there and he can't put his arms around you, etc.

So that probably frustrates him as well.

 

I am not making excuses for his behavior.

 

They just may be reasons why he is acting the way he does.

 

And he isn't handling his emotions very well just as you aren't.

 

If you feel like you are going to cry it is better to end the conversation - cry if you must - regain your composure - and then try to talk again than go through this ongoing cycle which is not productive.

 

and he knows i miss him and wanna talk to him but he always says im sorry like 5 hours later and says i love you

 

And do you answer the phone when he does?

 

Do you immediately give him access to talking to you after treating you so badly?

That is a mistake.

 

And it makes it that much easier for him to do the same thing again and not work on his behavior.

 

well if he loves me so much why would he even do this to me in the first place all my friends tell me to move on and find someone who will treat me better but eather way im still gonna hurt and i just wanna be with him

 

You are both in a rough patch.

 

He has huge and exciting changes happening in his life as well as stress of new responsibilities.

 

You are experiencing the changes of your relationship going from familiar into unfamiliar territory.

And you are young.

 

You both have some growing up to do.

You both need to learn to manage your emotions (yes I know I said that before but it bears repeating).

 

You just worry about your actions and reactions.

That is all you can do.

 

And you should still concentrate on the rest of YOUR life.

Go out with friends and get more involved with activities.

Do NOT sit around and wait for your boyfriend.

Do NOT be available at all times.

You have to have a life outside of this relationship because I can tell you right now that he does.