trying to resolve porn issue

[Mary3]

I have to laugh at these comments!

 

I thought ya'll would get a kick out of that one

[Mary3]

I learned there are some pretty kinky fun things to add to your sex life

 

I learned about the double twisted round about backward flip while on top lol...

 

I learned that we are all different in what we like .

 

I accept that we all have different opinions here about whats cool and whats not acceptable.

 

I suspect we will see many future posts about porn / for and against.

[Mr. Lucky]

Mr. Lucky, I'm not the poster you're quoting...but I think it's safe to say that when a man mouse-clicks through a porn site until he finds a woman that looks sexy to him, then begins masturbating, he's not thinking about, say, where the Dow closed yesterday. He's probably thinking about sex with that person. No?

Actually CG, the original post was about Jennifer Aniston and a spouse or boyfriend finding her cute and thinking about her in a sexual way. As far as I know, she hasn't appeared on any porn sites. My point was simply that a man's mind is going to go where it goes. Not being a woman, I don't know if the same is true - I would assume that it is. And since you're big on suggestions, I have a suggestion for you - get your facts straight before you give advice to other posters.

 

Beyond that, why do you care what your man thinks about while masturbating? And if it is a concern, what's your plan for policing his thoughts? It's just a waste of time and emotional energy...

 

Mr. Lucky

[CaliforniaGirl]

Actually CG, the original post was about Jennifer Aniston and a spouse or boyfriend finding her cute and thinking about her in a sexual way. As far as I know, she hasn't appeared on any porn sites. My point was simply that a man's mind is going to go where it goes. Not being a woman, I don't know if the same is true - I would assume that it is. And since you're big on suggestions, I have a suggestion for you - get your facts straight before you give advice to other posters.

 

Beyond that, why do you care what your man thinks about while masturbating? And if it is a concern, what's your plan for policing his thoughts? It's just a waste of time and emotional energy...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

I don't have a "plan for policing his thoughts". How incredibly silly. I've obviously struck a nerve with you on the porn issue, and am not sure why you're so concerned about what my husband and I do except, again, as a "let me shut this person up" technique.

 

The assumption here is unbelievable. My "plan for policing his thoughts..." OMG.

 

As for why I would care, in my case, what my husband was thinking about porn specifically, I'm pretty sure I already covered that in this thread. But you seem to be too busy attempting to jump on tiny details of my posts to actually read, digest and respond to them correctly.

 

And BTW, it was Valerie Bertinelli, not Jennifer Aniston, IIRC.

 

You can relax now, Mr. Lucky. It's all good. Move to Australia and you're set...soooooooooo many women there love porn. And then you needn't feel threatened any more by people who don't. We're NOT going to take your porn away. I promise.

[Jersey Shortie]

1. All women are born with pubic hair that's shaped like a zipper.

 

2. If a man doesn't have 9", he's, well...a little less than average, to put it very nicely.

 

3. Most women scream loudly enough to burst the skylights every time men, any men at all, including strangers, touch them anywhere, with any appendage or tool.

 

4. 18-year-olds really ARE hot for balding, middle-aged, paunchy men old enough to be Daddy...which is why they push-e-mail YOU, you HOT STUD...they're just waiting for a good schtup from Grampa!

 

The ridiculous thing is that all these things are true in porn world and much more. This must be what men really want out of life.

 

 

Actually CG, the original post was about Jennifer Aniston and a spouse or boyfriend finding her cute and thinking about her in a sexual wa

y.

 

Let me claify. I am 100% okay with a boyfriend thinkg Jennifer Aniston is cute or is attracted to her. When he takes the next step to make her his fantasy, that is a type of betrayal.

 

My point was simply that a man's mind is going to go where it goes. Not being a woman, I don't know if the same is true - I would assume that it is. And since you're big on suggestions, I have a suggestion for you - get your facts straight before you give advice to other posters.

 

This is an interesting comment. I know alot of people believe they have no way to control their thoughts but that is actually untrue. If we expect physical control, emotional control, why not mental control? When people get depressed don't we encourage them to control those throughts? When someone isn't good with money, don't we encourage them to train their brains to deal with their money issues? Why is sex the golden ticket to behave and think anything you want but all these other matters in our world is about improving what we are naturally inclined to do?

 

Beyond that, why do you care what your man thinks about while masturbating? And if it is a concern, what's your plan for policing his thoughts? It's just a waste of time and emotional energy...

 

I don't want to police his thoughts. I want him to be a man who controls himself because he values me and what we have over a fantasy world that is so over the top that anything I do as a real woman doesn't measure up to. A woman shouldn't have to police a man's thoughts because he should be doing his part to remain true to her. Using not just physical self control but emtional self control as well. I emtionaly control myself with him as well at times even when I don't "feel" like it. YOu think that's any easier then controling your hard on? We don't want or expect to know what is going on in his head. He has to do his part. There has to be a factor of trust that you believe your man is being true to you and is what he says he is. Not hiding beyind a lie.

[Mr. Lucky]

As for why I would care, in my case, what my husband was thinking about porn specifically, I'm pretty sure I already covered that in this thread. But you seem to be too busy attempting to jump on tiny details of my posts to actually read, digest and respond to them correctly.

 

And BTW, it was Valerie Bertinelli, not Jennifer Aniston, IIRC.

 

You can relax now, Mr. Lucky. It's all good. Move to Australia and you're set...soooooooooo many women there love porn. And then you needn't feel threatened any more by people who don't. We're NOT going to take your porn away. I promise.

CG, let me help you out here as I am a full-service poster. Here is the original post I quoted:

Hey, If he wants to watch Jennifer Aniston and think she is cute, that's cool with me. It's the taking it to the next level that is an issue. Thinking about banging her or what she looks like naked and acting on it with himself.

Does that clear it up ? My simple point - which you seem to want to overlay with lots of extra meaning, implications and insults - is that if you've reached a level where you making an "issue" out of wondering if your H or BF is thinking about some movie star while beating off, then you might want to reconsider your approach. In my opinion, you're wasting your time. I'm not sure why that's so hard for you to hear ???

 

Mr. Lucky

[Mr. Lucky]

This is an interesting comment. I know alot of people believe they have no way to control their thoughts but that is actually untrue. If we expect physical control, emotional control, why not mental control? When people get depressed don't we encourage them to control those throughts? When someone isn't good with money, don't we encourage them to train their brains to deal with their money issues? Why is sex the golden ticket to behave and think anything you want but all these other matters in our world is about improving what we are naturally inclined to do?

Really Jersey - mental control ? Control of one's thoughts?

 

Again I ask - as measured how and by whom?

 

Mr. Lucky

[Jersey Shortie]

Mental control is measured by you as an individual. Just as emotional control is expected of women at times and physical control is expected of both men and women. I do think mental control is probably the hardest of them all but look at the examples I described. When someone faces depression, it's about getting out of that mind frame and moving on. It's about controling yourself. It's about working hard at being better and not just doing what you *feel* like doing all the time.

 

This is a far cray from wanting to be the "mental police" as it is really up to the individual. But you can't blame women for being upset with their mates when they show a lack of control emotional, physically or mentally. The same is said for men towards women. You can't blame a man for getting angry when a woman does the same.

 

There is a certain matter of trust that is required but if you see your spouse doing the opposite of that, I can see it being an issue.

[Mary3]

Your quote :y.

 

Let me claify. I am 100% okay with a boyfriend thinkg Jennifer Aniston is cute or is attracted to her. When he takes the next step to make her his fantasy, that is a type of betrayal.

 

" Its not betrayal ! My god do you realize how many men have fantasies and how many TIMES a day they think about sex ? Also how many times a day they masterbate ?

 

 

Quote:

My point was simply that a man's mind is going to go where it goes. Not being a woman, I don't know if the same is true - I would assume that it is. And since you're big on suggestions, I have a suggestion for you - get your facts straight before you give advice to other posters.

 

Exactly she is a woman and he is a MAN, WE DONT THINK THE SAME . I say to her.. I however think more like one in the fantasy porn department.

 

This is an interesting comment. I know alot of people believe they have no way to control their thoughts but that is actually untrue. If we expect physical control, emotional control, why not mental control? When people get depressed don't we encourage them to control those throughts? When someone isn't good with money, don't we encourage them to train their brains to deal with their money issues? Why is sex the golden ticket to behave and think anything you want but all these other matters in our world is about improving what we are naturally inclined to do?

 

Depression is a SERIOUS illness. You cant ( for the 100th time ) tell a depressed person to snap out of it ! They need counseling , medication ( in many cases ) And a focal point such as comedy or exersise , anything that will lift their moods.

 

 

Quote:

Beyond that, why do you care what your man thinks about while masturbating? And if it is a concern, what's your plan for policing his thoughts? It's just a waste of time and emotional energy...

 

I don't want to police his thoughts. I want him to be a man who controls himself because he values me and what we have over a fantasy world that is so over the top that anything I do as a real woman doesn't measure up to. A woman shouldn't have to police a man's thoughts because he should be doing his part to remain true to her. Using not just physical self control but emtional self control as well. I emtionaly control myself with him as well at times even when I don't "feel" like it. YOu think that's any easier then controling your hard on? We don't want or expect to know what is going on in his head. He has to do his part. There has to be a factor of trust that you believe your man is being true to you and is what he says he is. Not hiding beyind a lie.

 

His control or lack of has NOTHING to do with your value . WHY Are you letting HIM determine your value ? Your worth ? Stop looking for a MAN to validate who you are.

Unless he is masterbating 7 times a day and you are getting NONE , then leave him in peace. If you are getting some and its enough , you have to get those images out of your head. This is simply ludacrious to make a MAN believe and behave like you DO . He isnt not wired or programmed like you in ANY WAY !

[Butterflying]

You will get alot of people here that will tell you, you're silly for feeling the way you do and to let it go, etc. You will alos get some here to tell you, that you have every right to feel the way you do.

 

What matters most, is how YOU feel about it. If its something you feel you can accept, fine. If not, then you don't need someone in your life that doesn't share the same views as you or at least respect them. Possibly you both could find some kind of compromise and middle ground on the issue?

I totally agree with this. You need someone who shares your view on the porn issue. Chances are, you have nothing to worry about because there are a lot of men and women who use porn for sexual stimulation and entertainment. I don't believe porn is the same as drugs. It won't encourage a person to cheat if cheating is not their intent. But it can be an addiction (anything can be an addiction). This is mainly a problem because the two of you feel differently about porn. You have different views. Rather or not he is cheating is a totally separate issue, and doesn't have much to do with the porn.

[Mr. Lucky]

Mental control is measured by you as an individual. Just as emotional control is expected of women at times and physical control is expected of both men and women. I do think mental control is probably the hardest of them all but look at the examples I described. When someone faces depression, it's about getting out of that mind frame and moving on. It's about controling yourself. It's about working hard at being better and not just doing what you *feel* like doing all the time.

I agree 100% that we are all responsible for the control of our actions. And to a certain extent this includes porn as any man that ignores his partner's sexual needs to indulge in porn (or any other activity that posters complain about here) is a fool. But the concept of "mental control" and it's value to a relationship baffles me...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Jersey Shortie]

I agree 100% that we are all responsible for the control of our actions. And to a certain extent this includes porn as any man that ignores his partner's sexual needs to indulge in porn (or any other activity that posters complain about here) is a fool. But the concept of "mental control" and it's value to a relationship baffles me...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

How about a partner ignoring his partner's emotional needs for porn? Is he also a fool? Because I often see men say porn is okay as long as it doesn't interfere with the sex. But porn also inteferes emtionally between a couple and men go on to defend it. The message is sex is more important of a need and tne emotional aspect of the relationship, at least when it comes to the woman's emotions, isn't important. It baffles me that you can't understand that life requires mental control. Because if you really didn't think it did, you wouldn't work hard to make yourself mentally more prepared for other aspects of life not regarding sex. We all do that everyday. We mentally prepare ourselves and practice to be better people. Whether it's taking a class, schooling ourselves to go to the gym in the morning, meditiating or keeping a close eye on where our thoughts wonder. That's all about mental control.

 

----------------------------------------------------------------

 

" Its not betrayal ! My god do you realize how many men have fantasies and how many TIMES a day they think about sex ? Also how many times a day they masterbate ?

 

It's not a betrayal for you and that's fine. But for alot of women, myself included, it is a betrayal. And that is 100% our right to see it that way. Yes I am fully aware about how often men think if sex. Of how often the masturbate. The difference between you and me is that I don't think that is justification for certain behavior. Just like I am not justified for acting like a total witch during my period just because I am a woman. Some women are okay with acting out on the people around them when they feel moody. I am not.

 

Depression is a SERIOUS illness. You cant ( for the 100th time ) tell a depressed person to snap out of it ! They need counseling , medication ( in many cases ) And a focal point such as comedy or exersise , anything that will lift their moods.

 

Who said Depression wasn't a serious illness? Counseling is about learning and having mental control. It takes work and effort and isn't just a physical healing process. You focus on other things to distract yourself from what is going on in your head. Same thing can be done for porn.

 

 

His control or lack of has NOTHING to do with your value . WHY Are you letting HIM determine your value ? Your worth ? Stop looking for a MAN to validate who you are.

 

You realize that post you quoted and then responded to above has nothing to do with me saying anything about him determining my value. His actions and mine, either help the relationship or hurt it. This would be a case for me where it would hurt it. Hedoesn't determine my value but he is showing me how little he is determining the value of the relationship.

 

Unless he is masterbating 7 times a day and you are getting NONE , then leave him in peace. If you are getting some and its enough , you have to get those images out of your head. This is simply ludacrious to make a MAN believe and behave like you DO . He isnt not wired or programmed like you in ANY WAY !

 

What if I am getting it enough? So what if I am sexually fullfilled. If I am not emotionally fullfilled, it will start to kill the sex. Sex isn't the only thing that is important to the relationship.

 

I don't want a man behave like me. But your advice seems to steam from wanting women to behave more like men.

[soserious1]

I do have one question, if we as women are to fully accept and embrace the fact that our husbands basically have 2 sexual lives..one with us and another with an ever growing list of 10,000 women who give them massive wood. Is it okay to tell a horny husband, that you aren't in the mood and would prefer it if he'd jerk off to porn ?

 

It just seems to me that if a guy can chose to use porn anytime he likes even if it means he won't be interested when his wife is and will decline sex, that the wife should be also able to say "thanks but no thanks, go enjoy your porn"

[Jersey Shortie]

I think alot of women have gotten to the point where they have basically done that and have given up providing real sex. Alot of men complain about the lack of sex they get. But why bother if he is still going to continue to fullfill himself with porn? Might as well just go enjoy it all the time. He obviously views those women as sexual creatures. Much more enticing and exciting then his wife/gf anyway.

[tyhbvf]

Okay, I admit, I am insecure. I hate that my fiance views porn when I am away. At first we looked together before getting intimate a few times - I was okay with that, also was slightly drunk...but when I saw that he looked on his own, even when getting plenty of sex with me, it made me insecure, made me feel like he was more likely to cheat. Some women are lucky and if they enjoy sex with their men, their men do not need to view porn, however in my case that is not so. I do not think he is addicted, but I think he just enjoys it. My insecurity tells me that this feeds his occasional wandering eye when we are out in public - I do think all men notice a good body, etc.. A year ago, he was noticing this really beautiful 20 year old in a store we were in- I noticed her too because she was honestly so stunning,, he went gaga and took her business card when taking the other salesmens' cards, even though it was not necessary as she had not helped him at all, and her card was the only one with a female name, and I saw a day or so later that he had looked up Mom and Daughter porn sites (he told me that she could have been my younger sister...when I let him know that his gaga behavior made me feel insecure and I noticed he took her business card, and I told him she let me know of her live in boyfriend through our short interaction and I knew she would have not interest in a man over twice her age... what was he thinking? and he threw out her business card, brought me a flowering plant and book, in a form of an apology...said he was never actually planning on contacting her.)

Anyway, since I blew up about the porn history, he has erased his history on his computer. Of course I should not even know this, but I snooped out of curiousity.

 

So I have created a bad situation. He will look at porn and hide it from me since I do not appreciate it. GREAT! I am now his mother, the police, big brother etc...

 

How can I fix this? I can't say, hey I look and see that you erase your browsing history, because I know you wouldn't actually give up porn out of respect for me. Then he will be angry I even looked at his history.

 

I want to give him the freedom, otherwise it will be just as easy to go out and cheat and simply hide it from me so it does not hurt me. I guess I created this situation.

 

Honestly men here, can a man view porn, masturbate to it, and still remain physically faithful to his wife? Please answer this as honestly as you can.

Also, how can I fix my situation without making it worse? Just tell him that I accept porn, of course I would like to look at porn featurning perfect men, and let him see it, and hopefully feel the sting of comparison a little, think that when we are out together in public that I am undressing all the men I see...Oh I know I am just insecure and immature..

 

Let him cheat. And the porn will stop. And he will make mad love to you.

 

You women take a man's manhood away by the power of the institution of marriage.

 

Women do not love men, they imprison them.

 

You get what you deserve, warden.

[vander]

I do have one question, if we as women are to fully accept and embrace the fact that our husbands basically have 2 sexual lives..one with us and another with an ever growing list of 10,000 women who give them massive wood. Is it okay to tell a horny husband, that you aren't in the mood and would prefer it if he'd jerk off to porn ?

 

It just seems to me that if a guy can chose to use porn anytime he likes even if it means he won't be interested when his wife is and will decline sex, that the wife should be also able to say "thanks but no thanks, go enjoy your porn"

 

Sure it's ok.

 

A woman NEEDS intimacy and sex.

 

A man NEEDS sex. He couldn't give a flying **** about intimacy.

 

But if the man isn't willing to provide her definition of intimacy, then the woman isn't willing to provide his definition of sex.

 

In the end, nobody gets what they need, and they're both miserable.

 

Why bother to have a relationship if it has reached that stage?

[soserious1]

Sure it's ok.

 

A woman NEEDS intimacy and sex.

 

A man NEEDS sex. He couldn't give a flying **** about intimacy.

 

But if the man isn't willing to provide her definition of intimacy, then the woman isn't willing to provide his definition of sex.

 

In the end, nobody gets what they need, and they're both miserable.

 

Why bother to have a relationship if it has reached that stage?

 

Why should a woman basically become just a warm moist hole to sate a porn fueled sexual request?

 

I'm a firm believer in dancing with the one who brung ya.. if you've sat there filling your eyes with porn all evening,please take care of your resulting erection with your porn because I'm not interested in being awakened to service you, if we went out to dinner and you stared at the waitress all evening but still hope you can snag a little oral,please,when you call for the check, get her phone number because I'm not interested.

 

 

Using porn and/or lusting after other people is probably unavoidable for the majority but I have a real problem with what feels to me is a major dishonesty.. if you're sitting there lusting after other people, well why not go and actually be with those people? come to me when you actually want to be with me, not when you want to close your eyes and pretend you are with somebody else. I'd far prefer an open marriage to that.

[vander]

Why should a woman basically become just a warm moist hole to sate a porn fueled sexual request?

 

I'm a firm believer in dancing with the one who brung ya.. if you've sat there filling your eyes with porn all evening,please take care of your resulting erection with your porn because I'm not interested in being awakened to service you, if we went out to dinner and you stared at the waitress all evening but still hope you can snag a little oral,please,when you call for the check, get her phone number because I'm not interested.

 

 

Using porn and/or lusting after other people is probably unavoidable for the majority but I have a real problem with what feels to me is a major dishonesty.. if you're sitting there lusting after other people, well why not go and actually be with those people? come to me when you actually want to be with me, not when you want to close your eyes and pretend you are with somebody else. I'd far prefer an open marriage to that.

 

 

Yes, but again, why bother to stay in that kind of relationship? Why not leave? He treats you like a "warm moist hole"? That hurts you -- it doesn't hurt him at all.

 

Since men never change, you're only options are:

1) Stay with him & endure the misery

2) Leave

 

Why on earth would anyone stay?

[taylor]

Why should a woman basically become just a warm moist hole to sate a porn fueled sexual request?

 

I'm a firm believer in dancing with the one who brung ya.. if you've sat there filling your eyes with porn all evening,please take care of your resulting erection with your porn because I'm not interested in being awakened to service you, if we went out to dinner and you stared at the waitress all evening but still hope you can snag a little oral,please,when you call for the check, get her phone number because I'm not interested.

 

 

Using porn and/or lusting after other people is probably unavoidable for the majority but I have a real problem with what feels to me is a major dishonesty.. if you're sitting there lusting after other people, well why not go and actually be with those people? come to me when you actually want to be with me, not when you want to close your eyes and pretend you are with somebody else. I'd far prefer an open marriage to that.

 

SoSerious,

 

I totally agree with you here.

 

I don't care for porn but if I was with a guy who did, I would not stop him from viewing the TV or Computer screen. He's an adult, it's legal, and I would have no right to censor what he views as if he were a child. If that is the kind of entertainment he likes to watch, who am I to say he can't. I'm not his mother.

 

However, by the same token, has has no right to expect me to watch it or to participate in what he viewed on the screen.

 

Porn is HIS world. Not mine.

 

I would say to women who do not care for porn but who choose to live with men who do: COMPARTMENTALIZE the porn. Keep that fantasy world separate from your real world, meaning this:

 

The porn stays in one room of the house, out of sight or access from ANYONE who chooses not to see it or should not be seeing it (children).

 

The porn does not take time away from family activities or couple activities, but is viewed during down-time only.

 

If a man wants to jerk off to porn in the privacy of his porn room, he can, but all porn activity ceases when he leaves the room..no mention of it, no talk of it, zilch.

 

And above all, no expectation that the fantasy of porn will transcend into the real world of love making. No identification of a wife/gf to a porn star (that's insulting and disrespectful) and no suggestion that any porn acts be "re-enacted" in real life.

 

This way you keep the fantasy porn world in it's own little compartment, separate from the real world in which you live.

 

HE can fantasize all he wants in his little porn room, but the fantasy ends when he leaves the room.

 

This is the only way to compromise on the issue, IMO.

[taylor]

Sure it's ok.

 

A woman NEEDS intimacy and sex.

 

A man NEEDS sex. He couldn't give a flying **** about intimacy.

 

I don't agree with this. Men can be very emotional creatures. And they do want to be close to the special woman in their lives..in more ways than one.

 

And when lovers break up or divorce, men cry, too, and are often left with broken hearts.

[Woggle]

This is just another case of a woman who just can't stand it when a man enjoys something that does not involve them. If it's not porn it's sports or hanging out with the guys or whatever hobby he might have. His entire existence needs to be dedicated to satifying her insatiable whims or else he is an insensitive prick who does not really love her. Sometyimes a man just needs an image of a woman to get his rocks off to. That doesn't mean he wants to actually cheat but it is part of being a man. Strip clubs are a way of male bonding as well and do not mean that a man wants to cheat. I could never go to a strip club alone but with a group of guys it is a fun experience.

[taylor]

This is on the one hand a kind of cute story, but on the other hand a little puzzling in light of the following: You present yourself as an evolved, open-minded person with high self esteem. However, your husband showed shame, furtiveness, etc. when you asked him to admit a woman looked sexy. I'm surprised that in a relationship where the woman was so uniformly accepting of this issue, the man would react this way.

 

 

I do have high self esteem CG. You are right about that.

 

But my husband was not ashamed or uncomfortable in the least. He was "mimicking" men who are "p--sy whipped" in a joking, jovial manner to make his buddies laugh. We all laughed.

 

It's no different than if I had made a comment mimicking a "dumb blonde", or a "damsel in distress" or other common female stereotype. Doesn't mean I am one...in fact...just the opposite.

 

 

 

 

my husband knows I don't like porn but he doesn't show shame, fear, furtiveness or anything else when discussing it. Nor about discussing masturbation in general.

 

The fact that your husband discusses porn openly with you, KNOWING how much you disdain it, demonstates a lack of respect,IMO.

[taylor]

Sometyimes a man just needs an image of a woman to get his rocks off to.

 

But I think this is what these women are upset about, Woggle.

 

If they, as women, are right there, living in the same house as these men, why do these men need ANOTHER woman (picture of one) to get their rocks off? Why not get their rocks off with the real live woman standing in front of them?

 

They feel as if their men are choosing to have sex with a porn video rather than with them. Makes them feel like they aren't good enough...or come in "second" to the porn star.

 

They would rather their men only want them when it comes to sexual activity...not them, the girl they jerked off to in the porn video, AND the girl that gave them the lap dance at the strip club.

[Woggle]

But I think this is what these women are upset about, Woggle.

 

If they, as women, are right there, living in the same house as these men, why do these men need ANOTHER woman (picture of one) to get their rocks off? Why not get their rocks off with the real live woman standing in front of them?

 

They feel as if their men are choosing to have sex with a porn video rather than with them. Makes them feel like they aren't good enough...or come in "second" to the porn star.

 

They would rather their men only want them when it comes to sexual activity...not them, the girl they jerked off to in the porn video, AND the girl that gave them the lap dance at the strip club.

 

I only want my wife for sex but I can still appreciate and acknowledge that other women are hot as well. I may look but I never touch and she does the same. I mean it when I say I truly do not mind if she watches porn or goes to male revue club. I would much rather her do that than watch daytime tv all day getting riled up against men or hang out with a bunch of manhating friends who want to ruin our marriage.

[The Collector]

But I think this is what these women are upset about, Woggle.

 

If they, as women, are right there, living in the same house as these men, why do these men need ANOTHER woman (picture of one) to get their rocks off? Why not get their rocks off with the real live woman standing in front of them?

 

Why do so many women need a vibrator when they have a perfectly good penis available to them? Why do they enjoy fantasizing about Brad Pitt or the guy in the chick flick/romance novel when they could be fantasizing about their SO?

 

Many people, men and women, don't feel threatened by their partners fantasies or attraction to others, because they know fidelity is somewhat of a trade-off and don't expect or want their partners to pretend they don't find anyone else in the world attractive anymore. And they don't feel 'second best' because they understand that their partner has chosen to be with them, at the expense of all others. A little wank about another person doesn't bother them, as many of the women who don't mind their partner using porn, or use it themselves, clearly illustrates.