trying to resolve porn issue

[Mary3]

Okay lets say your husband loved golf. In the back yard was a huge golf course and you could see him from the 1st to the 18th hole.

 

At first you were relieved that you knew where he was , you knew he was being faithful , the membership he got at a great discount. He won the golf club set and you packed his lunches on the fairway , So far so good right ?

 

Lets say he was playing near a rival enemy and he screwed up his game. Not to be upshot he decided he would stay on that course if it took all night to get the better game. Now his 2 hours turned into 10 hours a day . He was never in the house. You could view him from 300 yards away. He would come in late and you long since sleepy eyed and passed out. His golf then became his world , his addiction...

 

He just wasn't there for you anymore.

 

Sex ? Forget about it ! He's too tired ! The sun beat down on him all day and he had to carry his clubs because all the carts were taken.

 

Holding you ? Not a chance . He is too wiped out for that nonsense and besides he has to get up very early to get on the course again .

 

So you see the addicted golfer and the addicted porn user are both putting their attentions somewhere else. Sex ? Fahgetabout it ! There is no sex from either one of them. Affection ? Says who ? Not your man .

 

You start riding him and he thinks about a nice golf course in Palm Springs 400 miles away .

 

You can insert this scenario into the druggie husband , the cheating husband , the pot smoking husband , the shopaholic metrosexual husband , the lazy no working husband , the serial killer husband. They ALL have a harmful addiction.

 

THATS what I meant when I said you could have 5 different irresponsible kinds of husbands and decide which is a non negotiable for you.

[Woggle]

The porn issue is not about porn in and of itself for some men. It is about control and the need of some women to stop a man from doing anything enjoyable. If it's not porn it's sports, or hanging out with the guys or doing anything enjoyable that she does not approve of.

[soserious1]

The porn issue is not about porn in and of itself for some men. It is about control and the need of some women to stop a man from doing anything enjoyable. If it's not porn it's sports, or hanging out with the guys or doing anything enjoyable that she does not approve of.

 

Well Woggle,any man who goes with me can do anything he wants, including boning other women with my blessings. Golf,hunt, go to strip clubs with his boys,view porn till his eyes bleed, take vacations without me.

 

I will not support him fiscally, nor will I give up my own life to provide caretaking

services to his aging parents or to any pre-existing children he might have but aside from that,it's bust out time, go and blow your load anyplace you want man,it's all good.

[JackJack]

The porn issue is not about porn in and of itself for some men. It is about control and the need of some women to stop a man from doing anything enjoyable. If it's not porn it's sports, or hanging out with the guys or doing anything enjoyable that she does not approve of.

 

If that is the case for some, and if that is how some men view women...then they have no business being married or even in a relationship for that matter, and need to go live like a hermit doing whatever they want to do by themselves, so they can be happy.

 

 

The same for women...if porn is the issue for YOU, and you feel your man wants to do that more than be with you, then its best to either be by yourself or find someone who shares your views.

[Jersey Shortie]

Mary, I am going to repeat what I had previously said to you that you never responded to. Please show me proof on this board where there are just as many posts about women struggling with men playing golf as women struggling with men looking at porn. We all know people can get do other acitivies..that's not the topic here. And you bringing them up, doesn't make the intial topic any less important. I have no issue with men having hobbies..I rather prefer they do something more constructive then look at porn. At least Golf is a skill and gets you outside and doesn't hold the degrading viewpoints that I think most porn does. Come on. Porn holds an element that other things just wont for the simple fact that it's very elemetary in male and female sexual dynamics. That right there is enough to understand why it's a bigger deal then something as asexual as golf.

[c-riouz]

The thing is women can feel threatened by other women in a myriad of settings if they perceive other women are better looking/more appealing than they are. I am a woman and if I am in a room full of beautiful woman I can easily feel self-conscious or uncomfortable about my looks..there doesn't even have to be a man present. Put a man in the mix, say...MY MAN...and I can quickly and easily feel my positive self-image slipping. Should my man begin to enjoy the company of these women...should these women begin to captivate his attention, there goes my perceived value right down the toilet.

 

We women are conditioned to believe our value, especially our physical value, is determined by how men respond to us. Beautiful women ALWAYS catch the man's eye. A not-so-beautiful woman does not. And if you are fat or old...a man will pass you by without a glance.

 

As women, we SEE this. Men are not subtle in their response to feminine beauty or lack thereof.

 

It is very hard to hold on to a positive self-image when you are conditioned to believe your physical attributes are only as valuable as the response they illicit from the opposite sex.

 

This is why I can easily understand women feeling threatened...feeling less VALUED, when their men respond to physical beauty in porn videos and magazines.

 

The biggest threat I see is a threat to the woman's self-image because she sees it thru HIS eyes.

 

Once the self-image takes a hit, it opens up a pandora's box of insecurities:

 

He doesn't enjoy sex with me. I'm not good enough.

 

He doesn't like to look at me anymore. I'm not pretty enough, thin enough, endowed enough, young enough.

 

He doesn't love me. I'm not that important to him. He doesn't respect me. I don't mean enough to him.

 

He's going to cheat on me. I'm not enough for him.

That is completely right. Nicely put, taylor. The thing is, I hate the message porn (or society with its overemphasis on women's physical attributes) sends. It's like - damned if you do, damned if you don't. Society basically tells women "You are unattractive with small breasts. You MUST have large breasts, or you will never get a man. Men only want women with large breasts." As soon as a woman DOES something about this, she is berated and told she is shallow. Actually, let me rephrase that because it's even worse than that:

 

If you have small breasts - you are defective and need to be fixed.

 

If you have large breasts - you are fine until 25 max, then 10 years of mentrual cycles and gravity (not to mention possible pregnancy) will have begun work on your breasts making them "unacceptable - you are defective and need to be fixed.

 

If you get your breasts enlarged by sewing a foreign object under them - you may have those attractive breasts men see in the magazines or computer games, but you are considered defective and should seek help to fix that insecurity/vanity/neediness problem.

 

And if you base what an "un-defective" woman looks like by what you see in the (flesh) media: if we have labia that doesn't look like a 13 year old's - defective. No puffy lips? Defective. Look our age? Defective.

 

Defective. Defective. Defective.

 

There is much profit to be made if society convinces women AND men that real female bodies are defective as they are naturally. This is so destructive to the psyche of any female growing up in this society, that I wish there would be a backlash. But that won't happen, will it. Not as long as men are brainwashed into believing the airbrushed, surgically enhanced and photoshopped, shaved and cropped and injected women are the desired form.

 

And porn supports this. I can't express or put it any better than the next quote, so I just quoted the whole thing (sorry it's so long) - but it's a very worthwhile read, and hopefully something for men to think about:

 

It isn’t jealousy that lies at the center of women’s aversion to porn. Men want to paint it in such a light because it removes the responsibility for the damage porn use creates from them and places it on their partners. That is patently dishonest and unfair, and places a double burden on the woman. Not only does she have to tolerate having her feelings ignored and her presence disrespected in her own home (or in her own relationship), but she has to feel guilty for her own natural discomfort and conceive of her own rightful vexation as a character flaw. That’s what pornography does to women: it brings a huge set of worrisome issues into their lives, then tries to blame them for the fact that they are bothered.

 

When women see pornography, whether they’ve thought about it or not, they instinctively recognize that the women they are seeing are not being treated like human beings, that they do not want to be treated like the women in porn are treated, that the men they have sex with might be looking at them the way they must look at the women in pornography, and that their partners might not ever be satisfied with them unless they allow themselves to be treated thusly. It is understandable that women would not wish to have their partners use pornography, considering these factors, but when they object, they’re told that they’re being catty and jealous, and that “boys will be boys,” which is something they’ll just have to live with. Think for a second about the mental turmoil that can cause. Men who use pornography in relationships are basically telling their partners that they care more about their ... “right” to use images of women being exploited sexually than they do about their partner’s emotional comfort in the relationship. It’s not only insensitive, but it’s also evidence of a disgustingly arrogant sense of entitlement.

 

 

It’s easy enough to empathize with women who have to deal with a partner who refuses to stop using porn despite the fact that it hurts her feelings. What about the woman who believes she’s in a relationship with a man who cares enough about her feelings to stop using porn, only to find out he’s been lying to her about it? Finding out someone has been using pornography and lying about it is akin to finding out they’ve been having an affair. It’s a betrayal in a very serious sense because it means that that person has decided that their desire to do something is more important than the negative impact it will have on their relationship and their partner’s feelings. A woman who discovers her partner has been lying to her about using porn comes to several disturbing realizations. First, she discovers that he cares more about his supposed “right” to use women’s bodies as masturbatory tools than he does about her feelings. Second, she realizes that he has been using women outside of the relationship in a sexual way by proxy. Third, she discovers that he does not see women, including her, the way she thought he did; once a woman discovers that her partner uses pornography, she has to admit that they never saw eye-to-eye on women’s status as human beings in relation to men. At best, that means she has to admit that her partner has a Madonna/whore complex, and worse, she has to accept the fact that he doesn’t see her as a full human being but rather a set of essentialized characteristics. Fourth, she may look back over their sexual relationship and remember things that suggest that her partner was treating her or thinking about her like the women are treated and thought about in porn. At a minimum, she will begin to doubt every aspect of her sexual relationship and wonder whether it was ever based on true affection. Fifth, she has to compare herself to the kinds of women one most often sees in porn, and will likely begin to have doubts about how attractive she is or has been to her partner, and will also likely begin to have serious self-esteem problems and self-doubt that she didn’t have before. Finally, she will wonder how she can stay in a relationship in which her trust has been violated and in which she will never be sure that she is seen as a full human being.

 

 

What about the “lucky” women who find someone who actually does respect their feelings and does not use porn in the relationship? Good deal for those women, right? It would be, but there is always the lingering worry that their partner has been exposed to pornography, has absorbed its messages, and secretly wishes to recreate what he’s seen in porn. She will always wonder whether she is actually attractive to him, she will always compare herself to the kinds of women he has masturbated to all his life, she will always wonder whether he secretly desires more of the kinds of scenarios he has used to reach orgasm since boyhood. And rightly so. Orgasm is an extremely powerful conditioning device. What we pair with orgasm we tend to prefer. Or maybe she’ll wonder whether she ought to distance herself as much as possible from the kinds of sex he has seen in porn. Maybe he thinks there are “two kinds of women,” and only the good ones, the non-whores, are worthy of dating, while the other type are there for him to use sexually via the internet. Either way, she won’t feel free to express her own sexuality naturally.

 

 

Women in all of these types of relationships are stuck in a terrible conundrum: they want their sexual relationships to be loving and special, and therefore they probably want to make their partners happy, but they worry that doing so would require them to allow themselves to be treated like women are treated in porn. In all of these cases, the entirety of the issue revolves around men’s sexuality and their sexual desires, with women having to conform their own sexual behaviors to the desires pornography and the Madonna/whore complex has created in men. Women’s sexuality is entirely absent from the picture ... .

 

 

Men who use porn often approach their sexual experiences in vastly different ways from men who don’t. [...] There is a clearly one-sided dynamic in porn in which the woman is there to fulfill the desires of the man, not the other way around. The fact that she pretends to be pumped about whatever she’s doing is just another part of that dynamic; but men expect women to look enthusiastic about what’s being done to them in porn, or else it just isn’t fun. I mean, who wants to feel guilty about using someone like a blow-up doll? In porn, the woman’s body is there for the viewing and for the using, and it is moved around and positioned for the pleasure of the man. Female pleasure is at best a niche interest, and is most often either completely disregarded or faked for the man’s enjoyment.There’s no love in porn, either. It’s purely about male lust and female acquiescence, and that’s the mild stuff. I won’t even begin to get into the ever-increasing array of porn that features women being choked, having their heads shoved into toilets, or being slapped and called filthy names. I’m not going to claim that men who watch porn will come to bed with real women and recreate what they’ve seen in porn down to the last detail, but I will argue that having your orgasm tied to such images over long periods of time tends to seep into real sexual experiences. Men often unknowingly treat their partners in ways that make them uncomfortable because they’ve had more experience seeing how the women in porn react to certain behaviors than they have with real women. Any woman can tell whether the man she’s sleeping with is a serious porn user. What more proof do you need?

 

 

Pornography creates conflicting expectations that destroy the ability for men and women to meet as equals and use their sexuality to express their affection for each other. It creates dichotomies that force women to sublimate their own sexual desires in order to fulfill one of two restrictive and limiting (and usually unsatisfying) roles in sexual relationships with men. It destroys women’s sexual confidence, their sense of emotional and sexual security in their relationships, and their self-esteem. Doesn’t it make sense that a woman who feels secure and comfortable in her sexuality would be more fun to sleep with? If for selfish reasons only, men ought to give that some thought.

 

 

Porn breeds shame and fear for men and for women, which drastically impairs communication, and it cripples men and women’s ability to understand each other’s sexuality. That turns out to be a seriously ****ty deal for women, but it’s even a lame trade-off for men. The influence of pornography prevents men from experiencing their sexuality and that of women in any but the most limited of ways. I promise, real female sexuality is WAY more interesting than the ridiculously one-dimensional representations of it in porn. Ask any dude who has taken the time to find out. Allowing porn to hinder one’s ability to experience all that human sexuality has to offer is like trading a video game about driving for a Ferrari [...]. Regardless of the ethical and moral reasons to avoid porn, men ought to avoid it for their own benefit if not that of the women they care about.

[Jersey Shortie]

I actually agree. It seems that women do get the message that no matter why type of body she has she is defective in some way still. And it's hard enough to hav confidence in yourself and not buy into it when the men in your life buy into it and put the women in the magazines or media at a higher level of beauty.

The sad thing is it's not just your wives of gfs that grow up with this stuff. It will or is your daughters also who get the same message that their bodies, who the yare as women, just aren't good enough or pleasing enough to men and aren't feminine enough.

 

 

I also think it's cruel to tell women that they are "just" threatened and then sit there and justfy men's natural tendecies in liking to see different women. Lets again shame women for their natural feelings but pat men on the back for theirs. Lets tell women they shouldn't feel anything natural or female as concern over a mate checking out other women even if it's indirectly but tell him he is doing exactly what he should be as a man. Lets expect her to live up to a higher standarded of life and mental control then we expect him to.

[sotired]

I didn't read this whole thread but wanted to say a few things based on the OP.

 

My boyfriend looks at porn when I'm not around. He clears his history but doesn't deny anything. I have told him that I don't care if he looks at porn and he told me he hides it because he doesn't want to be judged because of what he looks at.

 

I look at porn too...I don't think about the people as "people". They are just a visual stimulus. They have no depth or personality. I like to look at things that are taboo and pretty hardcore....do I want to do those things? No way. I also clear my history because I don't want the bf to think he is too boring or whatever because we don't have a dungeon. If he really wanted me to stop I would...but would resent it because I am not doing any harm and would think he was just being controlling.

 

I think people lump porn and cheating into the same category. I would rather my man watch porn than go bar hopping with his single friends any day of the week.

[Mr. Lucky]

If you have small breasts - you are defective and need to be fixed.

 

If you have large breasts - you are fine until 25 max, then 10 years of mentrual cycles and gravity (not to mention possible pregnancy) will have begun work on your breasts making them "unacceptable - you are defective and need to be fixed.

 

If you get your breasts enlarged by sewing a foreign object under them - you may have those attractive breasts men see in the magazines or computer games, but you are considered defective and should seek help to fix that insecurity/vanity/neediness problem.

 

And if you base what an "un-defective" woman looks like by what you see in the (flesh) media: if we have labia that doesn't look like a 13 year old's - defective. No puffy lips? Defective. Look our age? Defective.

 

Defective. Defective. Defective.

Ridiculous in ways that have nothing to do with porn. Look, we all have to transition from a childhood where typically your parents tell you that everything you do is special and wonderful to an adulthood where you understand that those things that you do, accomplish and look like are going to be judged and evaluated within the context of those same qualities in other people. So at some point you need to realize that no matter how attractive, intelligent, accomplished, wealthy or well-endowed you are, you will be out-ranked on a quantifiable basis by some else - and in some cases, many someone elses.

 

Most people simply come to terms with it. They realize that the best measuring stick for them is their own self - whether breast (or penis) size or any other standard. Down any other road lies a path to insecurity that never ends and no spouse or partner can protect you from. All this angst accomplishes very little...

 

Mr. Lucky

[sotired]

I am rather plain looking....I do sometimes slightly envy really pretty girls, but I don't compare myself to them or feel bad because I don't measure up.

 

As a teenager I was obsessed with the media and how I "should" look....Now I see shows about plastic surgery etc and know that with enough cash I could be "perfect" too. It's just not that big of a deal to me anymore and I've accepted my flaws.

 

I am not threatened by porn stars or actresses or whatever. I know a few strippers and porn stars in real life and they all have the same insecurities the rest of us do. It's a fantasy...nothing more. If you think you have to look like a porn star to be secure in yourself please look into therapy.

[soserious1]

Ridiculous in ways that have nothing to do with porn. Look, we all have to transition from a childhood where typically your parents tell you that everything you do is special and wonderful to an adulthood where you understand that those things that you do, accomplish and look like are going to be judged and evaluated within the context of those same qualities in other people. So at some point you need to realize that no matter how attractive, intelligent, accomplished, wealthy or well-endowed you are, you will be out-ranked on a quantifiable basis by some else - and in some cases, many someone elses.

 

Most people simply come to terms with it. They realize that the best measuring stick for them is their own self - whether breast (or penis) size or any other standard. Down any other road lies a path to insecurity that never ends and no spouse or partner can protect you from. All this angst accomplishes very little...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

My partner "protected" me from nothing, I got the message up close and personal that his eyes hungered for beautiful naked women, that he yearned and lusted for tight bodied girls with big bouncy breasts to spread and show him the pink. I learned that there was a cast of at least 10,000 women that he would much rather be with sexually

 

The more porn he looked at, the more unsatisfied he became with me. We went from a fairly good sex life to one in which he couldn't orgasm with me to finally a situation where he would INSTANTLY loose his erection at the sight of my naked body.

 

My ""own self" was judged by my husband and found to be so defective,so gross, so unslightly that he'd rather stare at a computer monitor than to have to lower himself to be with me.

 

My "own self" has been weighed, measured and compared to others and found to be worth less than garbage. So yes Mr Lucky, I know all too well that there are others who look better than I.. from what I've been told that list would encompass just about every woman under age 25 in the entire world and that when it comes to physical lust all the other things I am don't mean squat.

[Moccasin]

Men always defend watching porn by the same tired excuses. If you aren't addicted to porn, it's no big deal and it's not about the women in the porn... then if it makes your woman insecure how come you can't stop watching it?

[Jersey Shortie]

Mr. Lucky, this isn't a matter of what you are attempting to turn it into. I really think it's silly to be referencing pop parent science instead of talking about the subject at hand.

 

Are you that unrealistic about the media and the messages it sends women and men? You can't undermine it's affect on both genders.

 

I don't think anyone here is upset that there are better looking people out there. Only that their boyfriends and the men that claim care about them keep seeking out all the different better loooking women to masturbate to on a sadly regular basis. Unfortunetly, men today that grew up with internet access are very over saturated on "visual" stimulation and deprived of "real" stimulation with a real woman.

[sotired]

So what about men who like fatty porn or tranny porn....would that make you insecure? Would you be tempted to gain weight because he looked at fat chicks?

 

I just don't understand the logic. My man doesn't have a 6 pack....I appreciate a toned body, but I'm still all over him. I realize I'm not a man...but I just don't see the big deal.

 

I knew a girl whose man looked at porn and it made her feel insecure. She was insecure anyway but claimed that was the reason....So everytime they had sex she left her shirt on and turned the light out. She refused to let him see her naked at all...So as a result she quit being sexy to him BECAUSE of her insecurity not because the porn chicks had tighter bodies.

[Jersey Shortie]

Well, that's actually a good example how both people in the relationship effected the other and their sexual experience. She obviously didn't feel like she could be open or herself with him because of his porn use...and he ended up with a partner that held herself back from him.

 

Seriously? Women can be insecure about porn and frankly, I don't see how we can blame them. We justify men's porn use behind "they are just men" but tell women to rise above the porn use and "get over" their insecurties when the man that is suppose to be there protecting them is buying into the exact stereotypes every woman fights hard against. Of course omen are insecure sometimes. The women in porn never age, do anything to make the man happy and are beautiful. These are all things that women want to feel with their men. Theyw ant to be beautiful to their men. THey want to make them happy. Why is that wrong? His message to her is that no matter what she does, it wn't be enough because porn is much more exciting. If it wasn't. So many men wouldn't dfend it like they do.

[sotired]

I guess when I think of porn I don't think of the size 0 blond haired fish lips with boobs bigger than her head....I think of the free stuff on the internet...most of it is amateur and the girls are far from perfect. There are porn vids with females dominating men, etc....Just to say every man that watches porn doesn't respect women or just wants that fantasy girl isn't accurate.

 

True there are some men who may take it as reality, but I don't hear of them often. If they are so dumb that they see a chick getting choked in a porno and try it on their girlfriend without her consent...porn isn't to blame for that. Being a dumb**s is the problem there.

 

I used to have a boyfriend who would sulk if I said an actor on TV was hot. It was ridiculous and that is how I look at a lot of women who complain about porn. I realize some cases are more extreme but making it so taboo just makes it that much more appealing.

[Jersey Shortie]

I guess I would disagree. I think alot of the mainstream stuff has those exact examples of blond haired, fish lipped, big boobs type. There are probably alot of normal girls too but I still think the majority fit into a limited age range as well. So while you age with your man, he is probably still getting off to porn of women that are still between the ages of 18-25. Does this make him horrible? No but as a woman it sure reminds you of your place in his life and his desire to always want to see younger women. Then men wonder why women feel self aware of their own bodies.

 

Sure, there is porn of women dominating men but that is far from the mainstream and far from what the majority of men are probably viewing. I don't think that every man that watches porn 100% doesn't respect women but I don't think he 100% respects them either.

 

And honestly, I think alot of men want to take what they see in fantasy on porn and do it in reality. Not what you discribed and without permission but I think alot of men do have expectatiosn or really want to do some of the things that they do see in porn and ask their partners to do them. So I don't think we can claim that porn is just fantasy and so far removed from what men want or what they want to do.

 

 

 

I used to have a boyfriend who would sulk if I said an actor on TV was hot. It was ridiculous and that is how I look at a lot of women who complain about porn. I realize some cases are more extreme but making it so taboo just makes it that much more appealing.

 

Well, I think most women ar eokay with their boyfriend saying Jenniver Aniston is hot. Porn is a little different level. And yes, I agree that making it a taboo makes it more appealing. But him making it his friend more then he is making his partner his friend over the issue can put alot of space between a couple.

[Mr. Lucky]

Are you that unrealistic about the media and the messages it sends women and men? You can't undermine it's affect on both genders.

If that's true, then why do you isolate porn and focus only on your concept of its effect on women? It's a very small part of what I agree is a message that younger, fitter and prettier (or more handsome) is more attractive. If you could isolate and eliminate the 1% of that message that porn compromises, do you think that would change the occasional fantasy that pops into your BF's head?

 

I guarantee you that the average caveman had a thought about the wife of the caveman next door. He probably scrawled X rated cave paintings on some wall (hidden from Mrs. Caveman ). I don't think that porn or the internet was much of a factor then...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Jersey Shortie]

If that's true, then why do you isolate porn and focus only on your concept of its effect on women? It's a very small part of what I agree is a message that younger, fitter and prettier (or more handsome) is more attractive.

 

Because I think it holds more stereotypes about women then it does men.

 

There are handsome men in porn??

 

 

If you could isolate and eliminate the 1% of that message that porn compromises, do you think that would change the occasional fantasy that pops into your BF's head?

 

You're kidding with that 1% percentage right?

 

I guarantee you that the average caveman had a thought about the wife of the caveman next door. He probably scrawled X rated cave paintings on some wall (hidden from Mrs. Caveman ). I don't think that porn or the internet was much of a factor then...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

I have no doubt. The occasional fantasy of having sex and what porn is today and how it showcases sex, two different things. Let's not try to ignore billions of years of technology and it's affect. Men aren't having the occasional fantasy about missionary sex and saggy real cave lady boobs.

[c-riouz]

most of it is amateur and the girls are far from perfect. There are porn vids with females dominating men, etc....Just to say every man that watches porn doesn't respect women or just wants that fantasy girl isn't accurate.

 

Sure, sotired. I understand all porn stars aren't 18 and perfect.

 

But are we really going to have to argue that the most typical issue that confronts couples that are dealing with porn is the age and youthness factor? When you see the models in the typical magazines that are sold behind the counter - playboy, penthouse, hustler, etc.....- are they older or younger, sotired? Your typical playboy bunny or penthouse pet of the month is...40 and the woman next door? Is that what you're arguing? Give me a break.

 

But you're right, sotired. The evidence is overwhelming. There aren't volumes of men out there who are comparing their middle aged, sagging wives to the enhanced, tight young models in porn. It's all a myth.

 

And by the way, even some (or many) of the so-called "amateur"-videos are with professional porn actresses. I don't doubt there ARE amateur videos out there, but alot of it is paid actors in order to, I guess, appeal to a wider audience - and to trick people (especially women ) into thinking that the porn practices are even more normal since now even amateurs / normal people like you & I "do it".

[sotired]

I just think it's unfair to blame porn for all of it and to stereotype men who watch porn.

 

My boyfriend watches porn featuring older ladies....I am in my 20s. It doesn't bother me....And it wouldn't bother me if he did like the mainstream stuff. He respects me and loves me for me. He's never tried to act out what he sees. But some of the women on here would act like he's a womanizing jerk just because he watches porn when I'm not around.

 

Why would anyone want a man that constantly complained about sagging boobs and stretch marks, etc. The ones with half a brain realize it happens with age/childbirth and don't expect their women to be "porn star perfect".

[Mr. Lucky]

You're kidding with that 1% percentage right?

You don't think porn is 1% (or less!) of the overall media message?

 

You seem to be the Joe McCarthy of porn, seeing it lurking around every corner, hiding in every closet, fermenting in every thought. Tough way to live...

 

Mr. Lucky

[JackJack]

You don't think porn is 1% (or less!) of the overall media message?

 

You seem to be the Joe McCarthy of porn, seeing it lurking around every corner, hiding in every closet, fermenting in every thought. Tough way to live...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

And you SEEM to be the one lurking and waiting to hit the reply button to most of her posts on the issue. If JS posts..you're not far behind to post as well.

 

I guess porn debates are beneficial...

[Mary3]

There seems to be alot of self loathing on this particular thread. I don't think its porn but something deeper. 244 posts later and the readers who staunchly stand by their contempt of porn and their refusal to see the humor and or comedy that was placed here (intentionally) but never a laugh.

 

If you can get your man to give up porn I am positive you will be on here again because he found something else that bugs you.

 

I am not helping on this post because there is no help. Why ? Because I dont think men will willingly give it up and if they do they will pick it right back up after leaving you.

 

The more serious problem here is the women who think they arent sexy enough , perky enough breasts , good enough in bed , toned enough abs ,

 

The saddest thing is it has NOTHING to do with how you look. So very sad. But you wont believe that and continue to blame Porn.

 

Good Luck

[Mr. Lucky]

And you SEEM to be the one lurking and waiting to hit the reply button to most of her posts on the issue. If JS posts..you're not far behind to post as well.

Dang Jack, you caught me. Maybe I need a 12-step Jersey withdrawal program ...

 

Mr. Lucky