cantstopgettinghurt Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Hi guys, I've been going out with my boyfriend for 2 years and 3 months, actually we are fianced every since we were together for 1 year. Today, he gave me a password of one of his emails that he would never give it to me before. I have had very bad experience with man, my ex cheated on me with other women which made me depressed. Today i find out that my boyfriend has been talking to his first girlfriend that he had like 5 years ago. He sends her happy valentine's messages on valentine's day and he keeps her pictures in his email and she even wrote this to him : "[COLOR=#444444][FONT=Segoe UI]I'm off to my conference this weekend but let me know when uve got a day off and we will have drinking fest part 2 lol...i will definitely need more wine after this week of hell and midterms are over!"[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=Segoe UI]What the hell is going on is he cheating on me? does he still loves his ex and his love for him is too strong for her? she says that they will have drinking fest part 2, does it mean that he had drinking fest part 1 with her while he was with me?[/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=Segoe UI][/FONT][/COLOR] [COLOR=#444444][FONT=Segoe UI]I consider this cheating and i broke up with him but i dont know what to do, please help, tell me what you guys think![/FONT][/COLOR] Link to post Share on other sites
theraven Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Oh wow... I'm sorry to hear about all this. I can definitely see where you are coming from. I would be extremely upset to see this if i were you and you definitely have the right to be upset. It seems like they did have "drinking fest part 1" with him while yall were together. That's what it seems like. I was kind of surprised, however, that you broke up with him. I mean, after 3 years... Did you ever ask him about this, like ask him if he ever cheated on you with her or any other women? If they just went to a bar to grab a drink, that's okay. It's okay for him to keep in touch with his old friends and grab a drink with him, even if it is of the opposite sex. He's going to have guy friends, and he's going to have girl friends, you just have to accept it. However, if he did indeed cheat on you with her, you should dump his ass! but yeah, did you ask him about the cheating thing? what did he say? Link to post Share on other sites
Author cantstopgettinghurt Posted March 24, 2009 Author Share Posted March 24, 2009 well first of all he didnt even say sorry, he said that he doesnt see how that bothers me. He doesnt want me to talk to my guy friends at all and even my best friend ever, who was married by the way, he insulted him and now im left off no guy friends but that ok i guess. He did all this behind my back and the worst part is that what happened between them? He didnt tell me anything apart of insulting me saying im a ****ing moron to think that he cheated on me. and then he went and said to me...**** you bitch...and what is all this my fault? I dont know what is going on , i obviously dont trust that girl because she knew i was with him but still talked to him but i cant trust him even more because he did all this behind my back. He didnt wanna talk to me for long because he had to go to class or maybe to think what hes going to come up with but i definitly cant trust him no more and yes i guess i am ready to throw 3 years out of the window because if 3 years wasnt enough for him to realise how much i love him and how faithful i am to him but instead he did things behind my back then i dont accept that + im being insulted. I dont know maybe im too negative... Link to post Share on other sites
theraven Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 No you arent too negative... I definitely agree that if 3 years isn't enough time for him to realize that you're the one then you should be done with him! And also, I'm very against the whole "guy treating girl like *****" thing. So the fact that he doesn't let you have any guy friends is ridiculous. And that he called you an effing moron and F you bitch is even more ridiculous! My girlfriend and I will talk like that to each other as a joke sometimes, but I would never in a hundred years talk to someone I loved like that. It's really up to you if you think he is worth it? If you really love him? Also, ask yourself if you think that HE cares enough about you to change this. If you feel that he doesn't really care about you as much as you thought, then yeah, drop him! But if you truelly feel that he loves you and cares about you more than anything then you might want to consider getting back together and working things out... IDK, just my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cantstopgettinghurt Posted March 24, 2009 Author Share Posted March 24, 2009 Well the thing is that some times i feel like i dont want to be with him no more because of things he has done me, like when he insults me but everytime i leave him he comes back to me or he doesnt let me go, he starts crying and saying that im the best thing he has in life but how can i know that he isnt just bluffing? i Mean if you love someone you cant insult them like that and you cant talk and hang out with your ex gf, that he obviously isnt over her yet since its been 5 years he broke up with her. I dont know what do really, its complicated, i guess ill take some time for myself to think. Thank you sooo much for the help i really appreciate it! Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 the easiest way to get your answer is to ask him directly. listen quietly while he talks and be sure to watch for any nervous body language that would indicate lying. Link to post Share on other sites
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