Sorry ..

[SpanksTheMonkey]

Omg I wish I wasn't posting this.. even on bad days I try to keep my **** to myself especially on this bord I really enjoy it here and I hate to corrupt it with my bull ****..

 

I'm so down right now I'm drinking and thinking about going out to get more with my last 20 bucks I'm taking some of the pain meds I have left as well I just cant face life at the moment.

 

I cant cut him off I just cant why because I'm a week piece of **** I know and he knows that too but this man will always be in my life and always hurt use me and I happily allow it.

 

while I help him with what ever he needs in life while he ****s on me I'm a ****ing waist of a human life what a ****ing joke I am.

 

I give advice here but I shouldn't because I cant do the right thing in my own life anymore whats the ****ing point theres is no point.

[Beautiful Inside]

i think everyone has felt that they have been in ****ty situations similar to yours girl. trust me just some people talk about their drama and some act like they have the perfect relationship real talk! girl i have had some major drama gone down between my man and i, and no one would ever know cause i dont share that personal **** with anyone but i understand your need to share with us and i appreciate you confiding in us....i think its easier to stay with someone even if your not happy at all i know it sounds weird doesn't make any since but its the truth....i rather be with someone then be alone. and theres alot of people that are in this very situation on these forums on love shack just some people dont talk about it and some do. a man can make you feel so low about yourself and you just dont get why you can leave still after all the verbal abuse and other **** on top of that its cause its easier for us to stay with them then to be alone and start all over.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

Thank you for taking the time to respond to that BI the sad thing is I have separated from him for the most part we live in separate houses on separate islands at this point!

 

But we continue to keep contact via phone and to be honest some times I cringe when I hear the dam thing ring because I know its ether him or his overcontrilling nosy patents they drive me insane as well!

 

I've recently told them to just stop calling me its worked so far but I'm still dealing with him. Now he has wanted me to come visit him down there Ive agreed and canceled 3 times now.

 

This last time was my 3d but I had at least a decent reason I'm looking to be short on money this upcoming month. I live on a fixed income so I have to be careful and live by my means.

 

He completely didn't want to understand that and starting verbally abusing me over the phone calling me a lier and everything else! I went back at him and then just switched my phone off and eventually passed out on the couch at like 6PM slept thu the night until my cat woke me up at 5am lil pain in my @ss lol..

 

Any ways thanks again and it felt good to get that out! its now 9:15am and my phones back on guess well see how the day progresses... after his "I hate you" text last night maybe I will have some peace today..

 

I need to see a counselor to work thu allot of stuff I know I'm going to be looking for one this coming month. Living around him for the last few years has really taken a toll on me I feel sick and exhausted most days..