Roll the dice, or wait it out?

[guitar23]

I've never posted anything before, so please bear with me...

 

I met this girl in college four years ago. The whole first year, we were nothing more than acquaintances, we would see each other at a bar and hang out and chat a bit, or see each other on campus and say hello. At some point we exchanged numbers. About a year after we met we started hanging out more, and I know 100% for a fact that there were a couple of times when I could have, and should have made a move. She was practically begging me to with every signal imaginable. Point is, I was really shy and just completely dropped the ball. I was interested in her then, but just didn't know how to seal the deal. Needless to say after a couple of weeks of my fumblings, we backed out and went back to just speaking when we would see each other, with the occasional phone call. A few months later I tried to make a move and she seemed really distant and not interested anymore so I backed off. We each dated other people for the next year, but never anything serious. The cycle seemed to continue of us "liking" each other at different times if that makes sense. About this time last year I had already graduated and she was still in school. I would come to town to visit, and I wound up staying with her several times. We slept in the same bed but nothing ever happened. We got to be pretty close over a span of a couple of months. When all of this first started, I was certain I was over her and we could just be friends. I was wrong. She started giving me signs and signals here and there, but this time it was a lot more subtle than before. I would say we were to the point of almost dating, but I got a job offer in another state and she was about to move after graduation, so the time didn't seem right. We kept in touch fairly well all summer, and saw each other when we could. This fall things started to digress, but we managed to talk once every couple of weeks, and saw each other a couple of times. I saw her for the first time in months a few weekends ago at a wedding and it was like we never missed a beat. All of my friends were giving me crap and telling me I was an idiot for not telling her how I felt. She asked me to come see her for a weekend, and I just did recently. It was a blast the whole time, and I was reminded how much I enjoy being with her. Over the past year she has become one of my closer female friends I would say, but I have had and have other female friends that I am just as close to and have never felt like this. I figured making the trip by myself to see her was a big enough statement for now, but I don't want to make the same mistakes I've made before. That's kind of the background about how I feel right now and how things developed. I will list below some key things that weigh on my mind about all of this and better desribe our relationship. Any advice is appreciated, especially those of you who can tell me if some of these things are normal in m/f friendships, or if she might feel the same way I do, and is stalling just as I am.

 

• We are really comfortable around each other now, but there is still that weird "electric" vibe whenever we are together
  
• She is a sweet girl, but very very flirty and outgoing, so when she flirts with me eventhough it seems to be more intense than with other guys, im not 100% if she is doing it on purpose or not
  
• We have slept in the same bed together a lot, but have never even kissed
  
• When she talks to me, she leans in really close and gets in my personal space a bumps me...we've played a few playful games of "grab ass"
  
• There have been several moments when we kind of just stare at each other and she seems to have that "look" but then one of us cracks a joke before things get romantic
  
• She laughs at EVERYTHING i say and do
  
• We have a lot of mutual friends, and I have overheard a few times what sounds like her girl friends gossiping about her having feelings for me
  
• All of my male friends that know us both say we should date, and so do a lot of their girl friends who have seen us together
  
• On my visit, she kept bringing up these different guys that she supposedly has dated over the past few months, and introduced me to a couple of them, whom she still hangs out with
  
• She has a lot of guy friends, but I have probably become one of the closest if not the closest
  
• She seems really interested in getting personal information out of me, even prys excessively at times
  
• We do "couple" type activities, like taking walks and talking...morning pillow fights and wrestling around
  
• We really just click together very well..we get each other and everything is just really easy
  
• When at resturaunts with groups, on several occasions, we have ordered the same thing without even knowing it....seems like we are always on the same page
  
• This recent trip a few times we were finishing each other's sentences
  

I could ramble on and on...my big hang up is that I am not as shy as I used to be, but she knows I don't open up easily and she is not shy at all and very outgoing and forthright..but when it comes to "us" i cannot get a read on her... we recently had a conversation about how neither one of us has really ever had a serious relationship, so i think that is part of it to. It's like we both know something is there, but because neither one of us have never been really serious with someone, we are hesitant.... I could ramble on and on...So with all that said, we still live a few hours a part. Is it worth laying it out there now, or should I just hold off? Or is all of the stuff I've described just a typical friendship and I'm reading too much into it?

[Rogue52]

For Christ's sake, make a move.

[WTRanger]

Yea dude, make a move. However, I know that's better easier said than done. You just have to go for it. Though, be prepared for the worst. She might have slotted you into the "girlfriend with a penis" category which is the worst place to be if you have feelings for her.

 

That being said, you have to make your move now or be at peace with being her brother. It's up to you how you do it.

[Jack of Hearts]

Dude, I agree with the others. You need to make a move, but remember ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS! So don't have your move be telling her how you feel, you need to show her how you feel (physically, not through romantic gestures) and see where it goes.

 

You seem like you're both very comfortable around each other already which is great, so try to increase the sexual nature of your interaction (flirting, teasing, etc) and go for it. If you don't you may regret it for a long time, and that kinda thing sucks. Hope this helps, good luck!