"If I asked you today, would you say yes?"

[konfuzd]

.... my bf asked me this question as we were discussing what we wanted from life. It began with him asking where I saw myself in 2 years. I told him I wanted a house with a yard for 1 or 2 dogs, a successful career and a husband. He asked if he was the husband in this scenario, and I replied with, "hopefully".

 

Is this a sign that he is going to ask soon, or is he just toying with me? He's been really stressed out about where his life is heading and I'm not sure if he wanted reassurance, or if he's being serious.

 

What are your thoughts?

[era]

Maybe right now, he needs to know that you're both on the same page.

[Trialbyfire]

Gotta' love the ambiguous man...

 

If I were you, I wouldn't focus on his words. Wait for his actions. It could be that he's either looking for reassurance, looking to ask you but is afraid of the answer or looking for a bolt-hole, especially when he's feeling overwhelmed. This way, he can allocate it to pressure from you, even if it's self-induced by him.

 

Stay clear from the focus on marriage. Don't fall into that trap. A man who's ready to ask you, will ask you upfront.

 

As someone who's been asked 6 times and have accepted two, believe me when I say that if you focus on marriage, it will usually be the last thing they want to do! I swear to God that the reason I've been proposed to so many times is because I've never been in a hurry for, wanted or focused on marriage. Men are strange sometimes!

[RecordProducer]

Is this a sign that he is going to ask soon?

YES! Absolutely! But not necessarily soon. So don't have any time frames if you truly love him. Just wait. It WILL happen. Within the next two years for sure.

 

But only if your relationship has been (and remains) great.

[konfuzd]

By no means am I in a hurry, or obsessed with the idea of marriage. It is definately something I want and am excited about, but don't want to enter into it for the wrong reasons ie- he feels pressured.

 

I was the kid who would snoop through her parent's bedroom to find the Christmas presents in November. I'm not good with surprises, so just want to gather opinions, get myself mentally prepared... (for the record, I'm not going to search his room for a ring, I have grown somewhat out of that).

[Jo78]

My BF asked me something similar about 2 1/2 years ago. He is still my BF.

We plan to get engaged some time after his deployment, probably about 3 1/2 years after the infamous question.

 

I would focus more on the "He's been really stressed out about where his life is heading" part, as this probably means that he will not be ready to propose any time soon.

[Lauriebell82]

By no means am I in a hurry, or obsessed with the idea of marriage. It is definately something I want and am excited about, but don't want to enter into it for the wrong reasons ie- he feels pressured.

 

I was the kid who would snoop through her parent's bedroom to find the Christmas presents in November. I'm not good with surprises, so just want to gather opinions, get myself mentally prepared... (for the record, I'm not going to search his room for a ring, I have grown somewhat out of that).

 

I hate surprises too. Unfortunately this is what most guys want for a proposal. My advice is to not drive yourself nuts about it. You say you aren't obsessed so that's good..don't let yourself become that way. He may be ready to get married or want to get married but he may not be in a position to propose. My guess is he was just looking for your reaction to see where he stood with you. The "where do you see yourself in 2 years" question usually has something to do with engagement/marriage. Let him do his thing, if you don't you will make yourself miserable.

[konfuzd]

Ok, this is starting to get really crazy.

 

So after a few drinks this weekend, I made a jokingly mean comment to the bf, and his reply was "you better be nice to me, I'm going to ask you to marry me soon, you know" I asked "how soon?" to which he replied "a couple days"... I said "really, have you asked my dad yet?" He said no, he was too nervous for that. I told him I'd believe him when I had a ring on my finger and we left it at that.

 

I brought up the conversation while sober the next day, and he dismissed it saying he wouldn't ask me until next year. After that, all weekend he was making comments like "these type of things are going to get you married" and constantly slipping into conversation little things about buying rings and popping the question.

 

Any time we talk about it seriously though, he freaks out and says it won't be for a year.... I hate the head games!!!!

[subdued]

I don't like head games either. Be open and honest. Tell him that you would like to get married but that you don't like playing head games about it.

 

With most guys, you can't assume what they are thinking. You have to ask them. And you need to take their replies very seriously. It's hard for them to open up.

[Trialbyfire]

Ok, this is starting to get really crazy.

 

So after a few drinks this weekend, I made a jokingly mean comment to the bf, and his reply was "you better be nice to me, I'm going to ask you to marry me soon, you know" I asked "how soon?" to which he replied "a couple days"... I said "really, have you asked my dad yet?" He said no, he was too nervous for that. I told him I'd believe him when I had a ring on my finger and we left it at that.

 

I brought up the conversation while sober the next day, and he dismissed it saying he wouldn't ask me until next year. After that, all weekend he was making comments like "these type of things are going to get you married" and constantly slipping into conversation little things about buying rings and popping the question.

 

Any time we talk about it seriously though, he freaks out and says it won't be for a year.... I hate the head games!!!!

He's flirting with danger!

 

Don't play. Wait for real actions.