BrianG Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Hello All, Brief History: We were together for 5 years, lived together for six months, she dumped me and moved out. Been broken up for a year and a half. 6 months of NC. Still love the girl and think about her everyday, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. So the other day after not speaking for six months she sends me a friend request on Facebook. I ignore it. then a few days pass and she sends me a message on Facebook, " how are you??? i hope you and your family are doing okay, ttys I am starting to close the wounds on this, even though i've had a difficult time letting go. I decided it might be rude to ignore so I simply replied "I'm doing well, hope you and your family are happy and healthy as well" That's it. I don't want to reopen any wounds because I'm finally getting to a place where the wounds are starting to close. I cannot be "just friends" with this girl because I love her too much. Now I am scared, I also noticed when i was replying that she added a few of my friends. Why after six months would she do this now?, seeing her just gets me upset even if its just a picture. I miss her a lot, but I know I cannot do this to myself. What do I do if she responds? I second guess everything when it comes to this girl because even though my mind is in the right place, this girl still has my heart. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Hello All, Brief History: We were together for 5 years, lived together for six months, she dumped me and moved out. Been broken up for a year and a half. 6 months of NC. Still love the girl and think about her everyday, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. So the other day after not speaking for six months she sends me a friend request on Facebook. I ignore it. then a few days pass and she sends me a message on Facebook, " how are you??? i hope you and your family are doing okay, ttys I am starting to close the wounds on this, even though i've had a difficult time letting go. I decided it might be rude to ignore so I simply replied "I'm doing well, hope you and your family are happy and healthy as well" That's it. I don't want to reopen any wounds because I'm finally getting to a place where the wounds are starting to close. I cannot be "just friends" with this girl because I love her too much. Now I am scared, I also noticed when i was replying that she added a few of my friends. Why after six months would she do this now?, seeing her just gets me upset even if its just a picture. I miss her a lot, but I know I cannot do this to myself. What do I do if she responds? I second guess everything when it comes to this girl because even though my mind is in the right place, this girl still has my heart. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated. Well, always a bit alarming to hear from an ex after so long. Did you accept her request? I wouldn't, it sounds like you are still not over her, and seeing what she's up to (pictures, stories, etc) will do nothing but set you back. If she responds, I'd ignore it. You are not ready for a friendship, which sounds like what she is offering. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrianG Posted March 24, 2009 Author Share Posted March 24, 2009 Northstar, I ignored the friend request. I don't want to be tempted to see or read anything about her life (other guys, etc.) Also, on the flip side I don't want her to know about anything going on in my life. She gave up that right when she dumped me and left. I cannot be friends with this girl, which you are right it sounds like that is what she wants. However, I didn't want to be rude so I replied but I was very general and reserved I think. I just dont know what to do if she replies and trys to open up lines of communication towards a friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
gutted1 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Tough one Brian, Basically you owe her nothing which is why she should be grateful for the small reply you did give her, talking to her isn't nessesary and will only do your head in and will only benefit her, she is probably feeling guilty and wants to make herself feel better which is something you aren't interested in doing at your cost. Block her on facebook if you insist on being on there and then think no more about her, get on with your life and with a new woman !! NC is the best option for you, who cares about her !!! Onwards and upwards !!! Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Northstar, I ignored the friend request. I don't want to be tempted to see or read anything about her life (other guys, etc.) Also, on the flip side I don't want her to know about anything going on in my life. She gave up that right when she dumped me and left. I cannot be friends with this girl, which you are right it sounds like that is what she wants. However, I didn't want to be rude so I replied but I was very general and reserved I think. I just dont know what to do if she replies and trys to open up lines of communication towards a friendship. Good that you did that. Ignorance is bliss when it comes to ex's. I tried to have a loose amount of light contact with my ex a few months after a breakup, and it was the worst idea possible. All it did was make me hurt more. I would say that if she tries to open up more communication, you either ignore her, or reply that while you are happy she is healthy etc, that you are not able to have a friendshp with her right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrianG Posted March 24, 2009 Author Share Posted March 24, 2009 I just dont get it now, why would she add my friends to FB. They know what happened between us. Reaching out to me is one thing, but my friends is something entirely different. I was doing well and now I am upset about this, damn breaking NC. She doesn't even care about me anymore, I don't know why this is bothering me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BrianG Posted March 26, 2009 Author Share Posted March 26, 2009 she hasn't replied, not like i asked her anything or gave her a reason to reply. Should i tell her not to contact me anymore, or should I just leave it alone? I dont want this to happen in another 6 months. Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 she hasn't replied, not like i asked her anything or gave her a reason to reply. Should i tell her not to contact me anymore, or should I just leave it alone? I dont want this to happen in another 6 months. no, no more contact. leave it. it will look desperate of you to contact her again to tell her not to contact you, when she hasn't replied in the first place. this is the agony that comes with any contact with an ex. just accept that she was looking for attention, and move on back to ignoring her. Link to post Share on other sites
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