EX keeps calling! What does she want? What do I say or do?

[Goatsbreath]

Hey guys-

Sean, the very fact that you took the time to send her a email stateing all the ways shes messed with your head still suggest that she has some type of control over you. It sounds to me that she enjoys this. Stop trying to talk, stop trying to set the rules, stop trying to state the obvious,..............shes commiting the very same crime over and over again. Shes with this guy. She can't expect you to be friends at this point, she can't expect anything. When you realize there's nothing to talk about then you will realize that you are truely starting to move forward. Things still hurt- sure, but like wiseluv says- time will take it away from us.

 

As for me, My X called me on Halloween and wished me a Happy Halloween on my answering machine but I did not answer. She asked if I would call her back that night but I did not. She did not call back and I have not tried to call her... Bitch. Ha ha,..........Im going the wiseluv route and trying to find the shell........., maybe if Im lucky Ill find that hate somewhere. Oh well.

 

OK, well take care guys. talk with you later..........me

[wiseluv34]

Hi everyone, and thanks Goats...for acknowleging my ideas. You're doing damn good! I can say, that I'm very much proud of Goats and Sean. You guys have come a longgggggg way baby! (heehee).

Keep up the good work, and I PROMISE that you'll see some great results. Yes, after the rain, you'll see the sun shining sooooo bright in the clouds...you'll be able to hold your head up and move to better and brighter things in life. PLEASE BELIEVE.

Goats, you're doing the right thing, to totally ignore this wench. She obviously knows that your a good thing that she's letting go....but she isn't ready to dance to your music. So, I advise you to just keep on stepping, and find a lady who's ready to tap to your music, she's out there!!! There's plenty fish in the sea, so I advise ya to test the waters.

Sean, I'm with Goats....pls just stop trying to spell it all out to your ex, she already get it...so just leave it be. If you continue telling her your feelings, over and over again.., then i can reassure you that it isn't gonna make a damn difference. I've been there, so just keep stepping..like Goats said, and let that wench alone. That's where she'll be, when everyone finally wakes up on her gaming ass (ALONE) ya heard me? So Sean, stop hurting yourself, she ain't worth the pain.

As for me, I'm still stepping on..and loving it! In fact, I'm interested in a new man...and he got my digits to call me! He's an fine and intelligent one, too.

Also, tonight..(this shows ya how moving on from an ex really works, guys)....tonight, my ex-boyfriend from awhile ago called me out of the blue. He's still mourning over me! We had a long relationship together, and he started gaming...so I just let him go. Well, since then...he just can't seem to forget me! He always comes over when he's in town. I even had to change my digits to get him to stop calling me once!!! I admit, he was my first-love, but we were both young and dumb. But, he apologizes for hurting me, and he just can't get me out of his system. Well, I just told him that it isn't the same. I don't know, this guy has always had a place in my heart...it's scarey with him calling me again. He wants to call alot! What do you guys thing a/b this? He say's he's just wanting to check on me, but he also inquires a/b my social life, and I can tell that he still care for me.

I've decided to not shut him out again, this time he can call me, b/c I admit that I do miss him, when he's out of my life (we go wayyyy back to childplay). But the bus stops there. (i guess)

We made such sweet love, it's hard to forget, but alot of things would have to be different, for me to go back with him (maybe a little lovin' won't hurt) ****!!!! ok, Sean and Goats....I've got more drama in my life, but I'm not letting him (Marcus), get the best of me again. Not happening. In fact, I told him that I'm completely over him..and he asked me, "are you sure?" geez! Hell no, I ain't sure. But, I'm still moving forward, for ME.

That's one thing guys...don't let someone know allll your feelings, b/c that allows them to take advantage of them!

My momma school me good . (heehee)

Well guys, continue to keep your head up and do what's right for YOU! Just know, that all things work out for the good for us.

pls keep us posted, guys!

later gators

[nobandaid]

Hey guys

 

Just wondering how you are all going? Sean and goats - any updates over the weekend?

 

Just stumbled across your forum and spent an hour reading it from top to toe. Very interesting and a relief to find, as I can relate to you so much also!!

 

It seems as though all of our ex's are only toying with us and reveling in their ability to hurt us

 

 

My situation is similar to both of yours - minus the new partner. If you search for my user name you will find my story - there are a couple of long posts - the first one being "please help me to win my soul mate back." And the other one follows on. Yes, it is a long forum, but perhaps you will find some sort of saviour in the helpful advice that I have been offered. Perhaps, also, you will be able to offer some helpful advice on my dramas!!

 

My drama has been going on for over three months now. As hard as it is to believe and comprehend, TIME DOES HEAL ALL WOUNDS. Each day gets easier and as scary as it sounds, with no contact at all, your ex starts to fade very slowly into a memory... sad but a necessity in getting over them and moving on with your life.

 

Cheers,

 

Natalie

[Goatsbreath]

Well, Im doing ok......just sort of checking in here. I still have not talked to her. Last time I heard her was on my answering machine on halloween. Not that it would of meant anything- I think she feels sorry for me our something.....I hate her. I dont need her sympathy. Sometimes like tonight I am struggling a little, I want to call but I know its a mistake. I will not call..........nope. Sean, how you doing?]\

 

Ok, Natalie- I looked at your post, a few of them anyway cuz you are all over talking about this guy and then talking about his drug addiction and how you should look out for him. No- you shouldn't. Thats all I will say about that. As for the rest- Let him go. Im sure you've probably heard most of what Im going to say already but I didn't read your entire story so you will have to excuse that. OK- In my brutal honest opinion- you guys are done. Ofcourse it's going to feel odd without him, its not going to feel right because you spent the last 2 years of your life with him and suddenly your life changes. It always feels this way. You need to step away and let it go, don't set ultimatums. The only real hope is for you to disengage from the game and give him the space and time he needs. Perhaps the space and time is for ever but if you play the game you end up driving him further and further away and it becomes easier for him because he starts to hate you. The nature of your realationship changes. Just cut it off where the realationship was at and tell him you still love him, respect his choice to think about things, and tell him you have cherrished the time you had together. Then say goodbye. You have your closure- the game is over- and its time for you to move forward. Now maybe he will call you one day and if he says he is ready to reconsider things you may talk to him. You may also realize that you were just caught up in the game and you really don't want him back. Let go girl- your still young and you have a lifetime to find someone who will give anything to make you happy....

 

take care

[sean001]

Hi guys,

 

Been a long time on here. And I think I needed the break away from writing messages on here all the time to move on. And after putting my foot down and demanding that she not call me anymore, I was able to do so.

 

And of course, just as I felt I had let go, out of the blue -- she called. She wants to reconcile things. She was open about her feelings and told me everything that was going on in her head. She thinks I am "the one" but had to "get away from me" for some time to be sure. Naturally, I wish I had known this all along because it would have spared me lots of pain, but for whatever reason that is the way she chose to go about it.

 

I was still quite bitter when we spoke. I couldn't imagine ever "going back" to the pain I experienced for months. But I was open to spend some time with her and see how I feel. Those feelings of bitterness are slowly passing, although not quite gone yet.

 

So the offer is on the table to try something meaningful with this woman who was the source of my agony for over two months. I decided, cautiously, to go for it. Granted, I have MANY mixed feelings due to everything that happened. I'm not sure about this situation at all. But I decided to work WITH her in order to find out if this will truly make both of us happy. The things that happened before, on my part and hers, would be unacceptable now. And I believe I'm willing to play this out until we see what the future holds.

 

I just don't have any answers now -- one way or the other. I know I care deeply about this woman and pray that the shakespearian love I have always searched for is here before me. Perhaps that will appear. Or perhaps it will not. Either way, the answer will arrive in time by a clock I do not control.

 

I'll check in with you all to let you know how things turn out. Everyone here has been of such great help and support over the last few months and I am grateful to this site for everything. I hope to share good news with you soon.