without cruelty, thanks

[crimsonrose]

Do you mean Australia or Austria? cause marriage that young isn't common in Aussie I don't think? also is Aussie considered Europe? I don't mean to go off topic but I don't know how to respond with out knowing 100% was it a typo? sorry...

 

Australia, sorry. Marriage so young isn't common in Australia, but it is for Europeans. my fiance is European, but he's lived in Australia since he was 5.

[crimsonrose]

Don't outright fight them -- just say you would be willing to stay for those three weeks if they could please take care of all the costs associated with changing the airticket.

 

If they outright refuse, tell them calmly just once, that your hands are tied financially. Then never mention it again until you leave! If you escalate the argument by 'engaging' with them, they will surely try every trick in the book to 'fight' you and put you down. If you simply don't engage in any discussion or argument, there is nothing to fight about. Be normal and pleasant in every other way.

 

Once they say NO WAY to paying for the privilege of having you stay, then calmly refuse to talk about it. Be polite but walk away. The wont know for sure what your plans are, so how long will they/can they fight you if you don't fight back?

 

Sounds good to me. I showed this advice to my fiance and he agrees. Thank you

 

I am not a fighter... I think arguing, unless it's calm and stable, is pointless, like you said. I've been calm and collected (big surprise considering how nervous I get. lol) throughout all our discussions about it. I will continue to do so.

 

I agree that there's no need to discuss it further with them. I'll talk about it every way I can, ensure all of their views and emotions are understood, as well as mine, and if that solves nothing, I'll drop it, kiss them goodbye and go ahead and head off. nothing more I can do, really.

[Trimmer]

I think that as long as you've proven yourself mature enough to handle getting married young, go for it. Its better than boyfriend hopping and sleeping around and given away half your heart, and then settling down at a later date.

I wish you the very best luck, but I will say that there's no real way to "prove" - at any age, let alone 17 - that you are mature enough to handle marriage.

 

You keep dancing around this thing that makes it sound like the marriage is a requirement or something like that - "for various reasons..." It's your right to keep that to yourself, but in the absence of information the conclusion is that the most likely reason would be that you're pregnant? The only reason I push this is that I wonder if some of this is factoring into your mom and step-dad's emotions over the situation.

 

I think she's just sad you're leaving, period. She's going to miss you, she loves you- yet she knows your mind is made up and she can't change it.

 

The situation is out of her control and I am sure she feels helpless, hence the anger.

When you see anger, look first for the fear that is most likely behind it...

[crimsonrose]

I wish you the very best luck, but I will say that there's no real way to "prove" - at any age, let alone 17 - that you are mature enough to handle marriage.

 

You keep dancing around this thing that makes it sound like the marriage is a requirement or something like that - "for various reasons..." It's your right to keep that to yourself, but in the absence of information the conclusion is that the most likely reason would be that you're pregnant? The only reason I push this is that I wonder if some of this is factoring into your mom and step-dad's emotions over the situation.

 

 

When you see anger, look first for the fear that is most likely behind it...

Haha no, honey, I'm not pregnant.

 

It's hard to prove your maturity to anyone, like you said, and especially on forums.

 

i have been raised, in every way shape and form, to marry young. Everything from cooking and cleaning to supporting my future husband has been built into me since I was a little girl. It's just how I was raised. That hardly automatically qualifies one for marriage, but still, it helped prepare me.

 

As for my fiance, as aforementioned, he's european. In most other countries, theres no need to explain why youre mature enough for marriage. you just are, because Americans nowadays are more concerned with getting laid in high school and college, going to the latest clubs, ect, than taking care of their other half.

 

I think thats a damned shame.

 

Anyhoo, no, I'm not pregnant. My parents disagree with the relationship now because of the JOP wedding we'll have to do to speed along the visa process so I can move quicker. Even then, they were supportive of JOP weddings until I mentioned one. Then they pulled the whole "This isn't God's will thing", which is something my mother tends to do when she disagrees with something.

[MindoverMatter]

As for my fiance, as aforementioned, he's european. In most other countries, theres no need to explain why youre mature enough for marriage. you just are, because Americans nowadays are more concerned with getting laid in high school and college, going to the latest clubs, ect, than taking care of their other half.

 

You mention this a lot, the European way of marrying young. Uhm, no, in none of the countries I lived in Europe did I know people who married this young.

 

Where is he from? Balkan area?

(Just curious, since I think you also mentioned his culture.)

[crimsonrose]

You mention this a lot, the European way of marrying young. Uhm, no, in none of the countries I lived in Europe did I know people who married this young.

 

Where is he from? Balkan area?

(Just curious, since I think you also mentioned his culture.)

 

He's Albanian.

 

Alright, mistake or not, it really doesn't matter. In his European culture, at least, it's not uncommon to marry young. As is it common in many other cultures.

[Lucky_One]

You know, I sort of hate to say this because of all the support you have gotten in this thread, but you are almost the age of my son. He is a great kid, and I adore him, and he is fairly responsible, gets great grades, is intellectually curious and bright.

 

But I would stroke OUT if he told me he was moving to another country to get married at 17 or 18, especially after a long-distance relationship. No way, no how. I would be distressed, pissed, depressed, and sad as hell that my child (stress on CHILD) would be so impulsive.

 

You seem to romanticize marriage (being "raised" to be married young? sort of a silly notion). What is the problem with moving to Australia, getting a job and DATING this guy - which is what a truly mature and responsible adult woman would do. She would NOT take herself from the care of her father to the care of another man, without taking the time to really live her life, on her terms, making her decisions, and taking care of herself.

 

Why the rush to marriage? Why not date like typical adults do, and take complete responsibility for yourself, rather than rush into a lifetime legal commitment in a foreign country?

[doushenka]

Australia, sorry. Marriage so young isn't common in Australia, but it is for Europeans. my fiance is European, but he's lived in Australia since he was 5.

 

Which bit of Europe, if you don't mind me asking? I mean, it's a pretty large place, with plenty of cultures to pick from.

 

[edit: Albania! Okay. I don't know anything about marriage in the Balkans. Goes to show, eh?]

 

Fully half of my family is German, and among our entire circle of friends and family, the trend was to wait 'til the couple was at least self-sufficient (i.e. done with school, financially stable) -- which tended to happen around twenty-five. My mum was twenty-seven, in fact.

 

In my experience, it's Americans who marry young; my dad was twenty the first time around, and people I went to school with have married (and, in one memorable case, divorced the same year). I graduated in 2004; I'm not exactly ancient.

[Trimmer]

You mention this a lot, the European way of marrying young. Uhm, no, in none of the countries I lived in Europe

did I know people who married this young.

Yes, where have you learned this idea that they commonly marry so much younger in European countries? As a matter of fact, if you go and seek out the statistics for "age of first marriage" by country, you will find that it's somewhere around 25 for U.S. women, and that the countries of Europe split this value quite nicely, with about half of them having a 'later' average age, and half 'earlier', with an overall span of a few years either side of the US value. Albania's average is indeed about 2 years earlier than the US, but it seems a bit of a stretch to use that to condemn our vapid U.S. culture, especially when, at 18, you'll still be 5 years younger than even Albania's average. (Figures partly from wikipedia - which I tend not to trust as a primary source - confirmed by more comprehensive data under "Economic & Social Data Rankings" at dataranking dot org.)

 

Is this commonly known "fact" of women marrying earlier in Europe something you've learned primarily from your fiancee?

 

The other thing I'll note about your fiancee's native Albanian culture and the age of marriage there is that there is a segment of the Albanian population - the Roma - who are generally treated poorly and suffer from significant bigotry in that country. Since the fall of communism, the average age of marriage for women among the Roma has dropped into the 15-17 range. So here's a great example of "marrying earlier", but this example is widely considered to be a symptom of a social problem, so I'd be careful waving the "marrying younger is common" flag to justify your decision - and I warn you mostly to be careful about using it to convince yourself...

 

You seem to romanticize marriage (being "raised" to be married young? sort of a silly notion). What is the problem with moving to Australia, getting a job and DATING this guy - which is what a truly mature and responsible adult woman would do. She would NOT take herself from the care of her father to the care of another man, without taking the time to really live her life, on her terms, making her decisions, and taking care of herself.

 

Why the rush to marriage? Why not date like typical adults do, and take complete responsibility for yourself, rather than rush into a lifetime legal commitment in a foreign country?

Indeed, I ask again: what are the "various reasons" for the rush? Are you just talking about your advanced level of maturity, or are there actual reasons for rushing into a lifelong commitment to someone from a different culture, in a different country from either of your native homes?

 

I do find your parents' behavior odd, but I believe I actually understand their current state of mind. What I have trouble understanding is the fact that they would have raised you " in every way shape and form, to marry young." What happened to raising you to become a capable, independent adult?

 

And I believe I hear that tension reflected in some of your own comments about your relationship. (Click on the right arrow to follow link to the other thread.) You said:

Anyways, basically, he entered itno my life when I was in this sort of transitory state.... Well, over the past 6 months, hes been going back to his old way of life. Hes a huge gamer, so hes always longing for more game time now, and wanting to spend time with his VERY very close family members. And, stupid as this sounds, I hoenst to god dunno what to do with myself now. I'm actually normally an independant person. But my sort of developemental teenage years were spend with only him, basically, while, being 5 years my senior, he already had his and had time to sort of discover the things he loves to do.

And you have been cooking, cleaning, caring for your younger sibling, and being the "more responsible mother." Are you so sure that you won't be moving to Australia to end up becoming the "more responsible mother" to this 25 year old huge gamer, who has his own life already, when you aren't even sure what your life looks like?

 

So, I'm wondering if anyone has any advice. I'm tired of getting on webcam and having him want to go do other things. I understand his need to be away from me so he doesnt feel suffocated, but because Ive just been with him for funt he past two years, I'm not sure what my hobbies even ARE now....

 

Any advice? Besides get a life. It's obvious that I need one.

Well, all I can do is agree, and I don't mean that in a cruel way. Although you have been raised not a thousand miles from where I was in the U.S., I know there's a big difference in our upbringings. Look, if you were truly dedicated to a life of service to your man (as it sounds like you have been raised to be) then you wouldn't worry about your own life, your own hobbies, would you? You'd graduate from your family of origin, and go right into the service of your next family, just like you were taught.

 

But it sounds like you're feeling like there's something more out there. Sure, you've been taught that American women are selfish, foolish, partiers, waiting too late get married and not dedicated to serving their men, and that in the superior European style, women are more mature, so it's common for them to marry earlier, but there's something missing from that equation, isn't there, and that's what you're feeling - that's what you're missing - when you say you know you need a life.

 

If you were my daughter - and mine is not all that much younger than you are - I would wish for you that you had grown up with all the tools ready to go out and find yourself. Find your self. And that doesn't mean partying and sleeping around, etc. but developing an actual sense of your life as a whole person and an individual, so that once you decide to share your life with someone, you enter that phase with a sense of who you are other than daughter-to-wife, from one master to the next - bred to a destiny, instead of seeking your own destiny.

 

I wonder if your parents have been wrapped up in their worldview for so long that they are just now waking up to some of these thoughts, and that's what has occasioned their change of heart. Finally they are wondering, "what have we done?"

 

I'm just saying, if you are truly mature, you will consider what you know, and consider with equal circumspection what you don't yet know about life and about yourself. It is a most foolish and arrogant thing to think that you have it all figured out, because just as soon as you believe that, life, or God, or random chance, or whatever power you believe in, will come along and throw you a curve ball.

 

Look, I'm not saying "dump the guy." (Although how many times have we seen serious relationship issues arising out of obsessive gaming, not to mention the stress of an LDR transitioning instantly into a marriage...) As the poster above suggested, why not move there and live life for a while as an engaged couple, discover each other in person (really, is there any substitute for that?) and find yourself - your self - a little bit. If he really is "the one" what would be the risk in that?

[crimsonrose]

Yes, where have you learned this idea that they commonly marry so much younger in European countries? As a matter of fact, if you go and seek out the statistics for "age of first marriage" by country, you will find that it's somewhere around 25 for U.S. women, and that the countries of Europe split this value quite nicely, with about half of them having a 'later' average age, and half 'earlier', with an overall span of a few years either side of the US value. Albania's average is indeed about 2 years earlier than the US, but it seems a bit of a stretch to use that to condemn our vapid U.S. culture, especially when, at 18, you'll still be 5 years younger than even Albania's average. (Figures partly from wikipedia - which I tend not to trust as a primary source - confirmed by more comprehensive data under "Economic & Social Data Rankings" at dataranking dot org.)

 

Is this commonly known "fact" of women marrying earlier in Europe something you've learned primarily from your fiancee?

 

The other thing I'll note about your fiancee's native Albanian culture and the age of marriage there is that there is a segment of the Albanian population - the Roma - who are generally treated poorly and suffer from significant bigotry in that country. Since the fall of communism, the average age of marriage for women among the Roma has dropped into the 15-17 range. So here's a great example of "marrying earlier", but this example is widely considered to be a symptom of a social problem, so I'd be careful waving the "marrying younger is common" flag to justify your decision - and I warn you mostly to be careful about using it to convince yourself...

 

 

Indeed, I ask again: what are the "various reasons" for the rush? Are you just talking about your advanced level of maturity, or are there actual reasons for rushing into a lifelong commitment to someone from a different culture, in a different country from either of your native homes?

 

I do find your parents' behavior odd, but I believe I actually understand their current state of mind. What I have trouble understanding is the fact that they would have raised you " in every way shape and form, to marry young." What happened to raising you to become a capable, independent adult?

 

And I believe I hear that tension reflected in some of your own comments about your relationship. (Click on the right arrow to follow link to the other thread.) You said:

 

And you have been cooking, cleaning, caring for your younger sibling, and being the "more responsible mother." Are you so sure that you won't be moving to Australia to end up becoming the "more responsible mother" to this 25 year old huge gamer, who has his own life already, when you aren't even sure what your life looks like?

 

 

Well, all I can do is agree, and I don't mean that in a cruel way. Although you have been raised not a thousand miles from where I was in the U.S., I know there's a big difference in our upbringings. Look, if you were truly dedicated to a life of service to your man (as it sounds like you have been raised to be) then you wouldn't worry about your own life, your own hobbies, would you? You'd graduate from your family of origin, and go right into the service of your next family, just like you were taught.

 

But it sounds like you're feeling like there's something more out there. Sure, you've been taught that American women are selfish, foolish, partiers, waiting too late get married and not dedicated to serving their men, and that in the superior European style, women are more mature, so it's common for them to marry earlier, but there's something missing from that equation, isn't there, and that's what you're feeling - that's what you're missing - when you say you know you need a life.

 

If you were my daughter - and mine is not all that much younger than you are - I would wish for you that you had grown up with all the tools ready to go out and find yourself. Find your self. And that doesn't mean partying and sleeping around, etc. but developing an actual sense of your life as a whole person and an individual, so that once you decide to share your life with someone, you enter that phase with a sense of who you are other than daughter-to-wife, from one master to the next - bred to a destiny, instead of seeking your own destiny.

 

I wonder if your parents have been wrapped up in their worldview for so long that they are just now waking up to some of these thoughts, and that's what has occasioned their change of heart. Finally they are wondering, "what have we done?"

 

I'm just saying, if you are truly mature, you will consider what you know, and consider with equal circumspection what you don't yet know about life and about yourself. It is a most foolish and arrogant thing to think that you have it all figured out, because just as soon as you believe that, life, or God, or random chance, or whatever power you believe in, will come along and throw you a curve ball.

 

Look, I'm not saying "dump the guy." (Although how many times have we seen serious relationship issues arising out of obsessive gaming, not to mention the stress of an LDR transitioning instantly into a marriage...) As the poster above suggested, why not move there and live life for a while as an engaged couple, discover each other in person (really, is there any substitute for that?) and find yourself - your self - a little bit. If he really is "the one" what would be the risk in that?

 

I said various reasons because, unless you've been a close observer of this relationship for the 2, almost 3 years I've been involved in it, it would take far too long to break down precisely why we both feel this is the best thing to do.

 

His gaming issues have much improved since I made that post (I assume youre reading my older posts, then?). And of all the issues in the world to have...porn addiction, alcoholism... obsessive gaming isn't so bad: as long as the obsessed person is willing to work on it. And he is.

 

When did I say I have everything figured out? I don't. i have said, however, that I have much to learn in the rest of the years my life permits me to live out. Thank you for your advice, though. I read it and contemplated it.

 

"And you have been cooking, cleaning, caring for your younger sibling, and being the "more responsible mother." Are you so sure that you won't be moving to Australia to end up becoming the "more responsible mother" to this 25 year old huge gamer, who has his own life already, when you aren't even sure what your life looks like?"--- this did strike me. That is something I'll need to think about. However, I do know what my life looks like. I don't know what it will become- no one knows that. But I know what I hope it will become, and I know what it looks like it's becoming, and thus far, I love it.

 

I am feeling there's something more out there: an actual life with him. I'm not sure if you've ever been in an LDR, but if you have, I'm glad it's gone so well that you don't understand what it's like to feel quite like that (I mean that in the most respectful way possible). If you haven't, if you look in the LDR section of this site, you'll see how many others feel the same way- that the life's being sucked out of you because its so hard to live it when your other half is so far away.

 

But in any case, this thread isn't about whether or not I'm sure I want this life or not. I do want it.

 

[flash582]

C-rose,

 

3 months isn't going to make a difference. I was married young, and I have a few things to share about that, however, let's talk about your mom first.

 

Are you happy when your fiance' goes back home and you're not going to see him for a while? Unless you have kids of your own it's hard to understand, but I have children in other places and I am depressed for weeks after a visit. It's like losing an arm, or a leg .... they are so much a part of you that you can't imagine living without them. (I have three kids of my own and three step kids(most out of the house)).

 

You're going to move to the other side of the planet .... I wouldn't be happy either ..... however, tell her that you'd rather save the $400 bucks and put it in your "coming back home to visit Mom piggybank". That way you can see her again all the sooner. This also gives you a great thing to talk about while you're away ... you can discuss the amount of cash you've saved for your next trip home ... it will make it easier for all of you, believe me.

 

I would also suggest that you both open a Skype account and get webcams, so you can have free video calls once a week .... It was a real lifesaver for us when the kids went off to college.

 

As for marrying young ... here is the problem. When you're 18 you haven't had many of the experiences that drive change into your personality, and people change dramatically throughout their 20's, though not so much in their 30's and 40's.

 

The two of you will either grow in the same direction, or not. There is not much you can do to control how you will grow, let alone someone else. So, the odds are probably about 50/50 that you'll make it. If you wait until you are in your 20's your odds would improve, in my opinion.

 

However ... you've made up your mind and your real reason for posting here is to make you feel better about your decision. You wouldn't listen to me if I told you to wait a few years any more than you'll listen to your own mother .... so, good luck in your new life and best wishes to the both of you for a happy and blessed life together. And write your mom often!

[crimsonrose]

 

Look, I'm not saying "dump the guy." (Although how many times have we seen serious relationship issues arising out of obsessive gaming, not to mention the stress of an LDR transitioning instantly into a marriage...) As the poster above suggested, why not move there and live life for a while as an engaged couple, discover each other in person (really, is there any substitute for that?) and find yourself - your self - a little bit. If he really is "the one" what would be the risk in that?

 

also, the marriage I spoke of is something we're doing in order to easier obtain my visa. but that is a seperate issue in and of itself. its either that or do another visa that is more costly and takes 9 months to get approved. We would rather do a JOP for the sake of legality, and continue to view each other as only an engaged couple until the formal marriage later this year, than have to say seperated for another 9 months or more.

 

So we are going to do as you advised. And I cannot wait to discover him in person. I know alot about his mind, but things that peopel take for granted- liek knowing your lovers favorite foods, and discovering more of their irl pet peeves- are things we have yet to fully explore. We both want to do that before we actually marry.

[Lucky_One]

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 50% of marriages where the bride is 18 or younger end up in divorce within the first 10 years. 25% of marriages where the bride is 25 or older end up in divorce in the first 10 years.

 

Again, what is the rush towards marriage?

[crimsonrose]

C-rose,

 

3 months isn't going to make a difference. I was married young, and I have a few things to share about that, however, let's talk about your mom first.

 

Are you happy when your fiance' goes back home and you're not going to see him for a while? Unless you have kids of your own it's hard to understand, but I have children in other places and I am depressed for weeks after a visit. It's like losing an arm, or a leg .... they are so much a part of you that you can't imagine living without them. (I have three kids of my own and three step kids(most out of the house)).

 

You're going to move to the other side of the planet .... I wouldn't be happy either ..... however, tell her that you'd rather save the $400 bucks and put it in your "coming back home to visit Mom piggybank". That way you can see her again all the sooner. This also gives you a great thing to talk about while you're away ... you can discuss the amount of cash you've saved for your next trip home ... it will make it easier for all of you, believe me.

 

I would also suggest that you both open a Skype account and get webcams, so you can have free video calls once a week .... It was a real lifesaver for us when the kids went off to college.

 

As for marrying young ... here is the problem. When you're 18 you haven't had many of the experiences that drive change into your personality, and people change dramatically throughout their 20's, though not so much in their 30's and 40's.

 

The two of you will either grow in the same direction, or not. There is not much you can do to control how you will grow, let alone someone else. So, the odds are probably about 50/50 that you'll make it. If you wait until you are in your 20's your odds would improve, in my opinion.

 

However ... you've made up your mind and your real reason for posting here is to make you feel better about your decision. You wouldn't listen to me if I told you to wait a few years any more than you'll listen to your own mother .... so, good luck in your new life and best wishes to the both of you for a happy and blessed life together. And write your mom often!

 

The piggybank, skype, and webcam advice is all much appreciated and good. I will do all of those.

 

As far as the marriage goes, it's also harder to marry later because you've developed your own way of doing more things in life than when you were younger. It becomes more difficult to incorporate your lives together. That's just my opinion. I don't have as much life experience as say, a 40 year old, but that doesn't mean my observational skills are any less in tune. from what I have seen and from what little I have experienced, both my fiance and I prefer a younger marriage. Thank you though, for your advice.

[crimsonrose]

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 50% of marriages where the bride is 18 or younger end up in divorce within the first 10 years. 25% of marriages where the bride is 25 or older end up in divorce in the first 10 years.

 

Again, what is the rush towards marriage?

 

That depends on the maturity level of the brides. And one must take into consideration the reason for the young marriage: was it because the bride was pregnant and felt she had no other choice? And perhaps the marriages with the older couples were kept alive only because the couples had children together by that point, and did not want to pain the children with seperation.

 

Statistics don't really mean too much to me, as each human is far more individual than numbers.

 

And as I was obviously misinformed about the young European marriage thing, I retract that statement. I admit defeat. Lol. i was wrong, and thank you to everyone who researched it better than I have and corrected me. That still does not change my opinion that young marriages can work, though.

[Lucky_One]

"As far as the marriage goes, it's also harder to marry later because you've developed your own way of doing more things in life than when you were younger."

 

Sweetie, that's the point. At 17, you don't have your own way of doing things. You are growing and learning. You WILL grow, regardless of who you are married to or if you are single. The shame of it is when you are find out at age 28 that you have grown so differently from what you were as a young girl.

 

I was married at 22 to a man who wanted to control me, and I was young and malleable and agreeable and thought that was a good thing, because he was more responsible with money. By age 30, I was not ALLOWED to touch the family checkbook, even though I had two children and ran the family business office and was a grown, responsible woman. I was given an allowance of $10 a week for personal issues like haircuts. By 35, we were divorced.

 

You are going to be so incredibly different, and you are not allowing yourself the time and the space to grow. If you take a sapling and bend it, it will grow crooked into a shape that is unnatural - and you get crappy wood from it. You are letting your growing up years be shaped by someone else, before you find your own feet.

[crimsonrose]

"As far as the marriage goes, it's also harder to marry later because you've developed your own way of doing more things in life than when you were younger."

 

Sweetie, that's the point. At 17, you don't have your own way of doing things. You are growing and learning. You WILL grow, regardless of who you are married to or if you are single. The shame of it is when you are find out at age 28 that you have grown so differently from what you were as a young girl.

 

I was married at 22 to a man who wanted to control me, and I was young and malleable and agreeable and thought that was a good thing, because he was more responsible with money. By age 30, I was not ALLOWED to touch the family checkbook, even though I had two children and ran the family business office and was a grown, responsible woman. I was given an allowance of $10 a week for personal issues like haircuts. By 35, we were divorced.

 

You are going to be so incredibly different, and you are not allowing yourself the time and the space to grow. If you take a sapling and bend it, it will grow crooked into a shape that is unnatural - and you get crappy wood from it. You are letting your growing up years be shaped by someone else, before you find your own feet.

 

That was a really caring reply. Thank you.

 

I'm very sorry that happened to you.

[Trimmer]

But in any case, this thread isn't about whether or not I'm sure I want this life or not. I do want it.

Just make sure that "this" life stays your life. I wish you the best of luck.

[crimsonrose]

Just make sure that "this" life stays your life. I wish you the best of luck.

 

Understood. I really have taken all of your advice into consideration and a good portion of it struck me. Thank you.