Woke up Saturday to THE NOTE

[Derek12b]

Thanks for your insight WOWwtf. I don't see how anyone could let anyone go through this pain and not feel any compassion for the one they swore to protect and love. I'm not sure when I'm gonna get angry but the time is fastly approaching. I have the kids all this week so I have something around to help me out but when they are gone again it will be devistating. We need to be strong through this and realize.....are wifes were hot, but not that hot. I hope your having a good day and the sun is shining on your heart. Its hard, but if it wasn't...it wouldn't be life.

[Darth Vader]

Thanks for speaking what seems to be the harsh truth.

 

I am sure she is up to something. She did abandon the house though...I don't know how that affects things. I am surprised she hasn't taken a restraining order on me just so she can say she left because she was scared...which of course is total BS. But wouldn't I know if she took one out? Don't you have to be served with something like that?

 

Pwords are on lockdown BTW. She has no access to my bank accounts and she will have fun trying to come up with a reason to take my money because she has more than me right now. I had around a year's supply built up and have used half. She has significantly more than I do. But yeah I better get to cracking. I am surprised I haven't been served papers yet frankly. Florida is a no fault state. Easy as hell to divorce someone.

 

My buddy is coming up from Miami tomorrow to spend the weekend and talk business. I have a job lined up as an institutional broker that will blow her salary out of the water. My buddy's inlaws have had this job waiting on me for years since it's their firm...all I had to do was take it. She doesn't know about this though. Thank God she is divorcing me before I started making that kind of money. Not to mention there is a 80-90% chance I am moving to the Ft Lauderdale/Miami area as soon as this thing goes down. There are so many girls down there I won't even know what to do with myself.

 

I think it's hilarious if she really was resentful or thought I had a lack of ambition just because I am not obsessed with spending every second of my life battling tooth and nail in the rat race. It's ironic that all I have to do is get off my ass and walk into a hook up job.

 

 

It's her loss in the end. This isn't my choice and I didn't treat her as bad as I might have made it sound. Trust me on that. That was just guilt talking because I couldn't acceot she was cheating on me. I have done everything I can to straighten this out and she isn't even remotely interested in working it out marriage-wise. Though she still wants to date. lol

 

 

I really love her with all my heart and we have been through some serious **** together. I have had her back through some really harsh times. It sucks horribly that she is making this decision, but in the end it's not my call. I can't keep beating myself up. I know she really would want to get back together after her fling is over or whatever it is...but a) I have too much self-respect for that and b) I could never trust her again so what's the point. I think my best option is to move way the hell away.

 

 

Contact a Lawyer and protect your assets as much as you can! Don't inform her of your possible job offer. She'll do anything to screw you over even more. When you contact your Lawyer, yes, get one of your own, make sure that it's a Men's Rights type of Lawyer, and get separation papers filed, I've heard say that getting Separations papers prevents you from having to pay any debts or loans she may accrue. Take back any credit cards, better yet, cancel them all that she has access to. Protect your house, and change all the locks, she's no longer welcome!

 

You need you tax information as well, inform your Lawyer of any and all missing documents, she may have done that in attempts to get you out of the way, by reason of the IRS. Don't take her back, she made her bed, she has to lay in it. By the way, yes, she's screwing someone else, I'm sure of it myself.

[Darth Vader]

Hey man thanks for the advice. I am definitely lucky on the job note. I'd probably be in deep doo doo if it weren't for my buddy and his inlaws.

 

You are absolutely right, if someone else is in the picture she is in the fog so pleading and reasoning ain't gonna matter one bit.

 

It almost makes me think she hasn't been to a lawyer yet. Leaving the house behind, etc. Well, I'd say she definitely didn't discuss this beforehand with one at the least.

 

Unless there is some secret twist law that allows her to abandon the house but still be entitled to it. That's why I figured she might try something cute with a restraining order or something.

 

Thanks again for the advice. Y'all don't know how helpful it's been. Well, actually maybe you do since we all seem to have walked similar roads.

 

 

Ask your Lawyer about going for Abandonment, I don't know how it is in your state, but, it's worth it to look into it.

 

Also, run an anti-spyware program on your computer, (I don't know why I'm suggesting it), but, if she has a keylogger on your computer that she could access your computer remotely, she can access your info. Just down load a good one, many are free too.

[Darth Vader]

I have the same thing going on with my wife. The nights of no sleep and thinking yourself into a tizzy is still going on for me. I still dont eat and sometimes I'll be driving and it hits me so hard I have to pull over to lay in my truck and just cry. Right now I'm a pathetic man. I feel ashamed, hurt, angry, betrayed, and all around just wanna kill something. I'll tell you what helps me out, I RUN, Im not a runner but I run like a champ now. I run until I fall down in pain. Right now pain is the only thing that lets me know Im alive. I'd tell you it gets better but I really dont know. I also like drinking Jack and Cokes with .45 on the counter and just stare at it. It lets me know I have options.

 

 

OKK, lose the gun, seriously. If I were you, I'd loose the booze too, you don't want anything hindering you getting your life back on track.

[mark982]

i'd report your gun stolen,then tell cops where they're at,pretty sure that's a felony rap.

[sumdude]

WTFwow, your post brought up a "memory" I hadn't thought about for 9 years now. On my birthday a month before "D" day I got one of those amazing love and kisses birthday cards... A month an a couple of days later she "needed space".

 

A couple of months later she told me that her boyfriend had helped her pick out the card.

 

Being gaslighted is never fun.

 

Yeah, same here..

 

First week of December we get the house all ready for X-Mas. Have a romantic night under the tree with the fireplace etc..

 

I go away for two weeks to Asia on a business trip. I come home to a whole different person, felt like some Twilight Zone episode where the plane landed in an alternate universe. A horrible x-mas at my brothers followed by a month of her acting strange, distant, disappearing. I eventually look at cell records and the bottom drops out of my stomach. She convinces me it's her 'sponsor' from a 12 step program or something like that.

 

Jan 26th she drops me off at work in the AM and calls 4 hours later to tell me she moved out. The move was incredibly well planned and executed, she was out in hours!

 

She's now married to the 'sponsor' and even tried to lie to me about who two years later?!

 

There's no telling with some people..

 

You seem to have a pretty good attitude about it. Best to let her go and move on.

[mental_traveller]

Yeah I can't emphasize enough how much of a 180 this is. If I even remotely saw this coming I wouldn't be so shocked.

 

It's too fishy...just doesn't add up.

 

Thanks for the response.

 

It's not necessarily suspicious. You may be just a terrible listener, or she may be very private about her inner emotions, or a bit of both. A lot of people, if they are ignored repeatedly, will inwardly give up on the relationship, wait until they totally check out emotionally, and only then make it obvious to you by breaking off.

 

Basically you did something wrong (in her eyes) for a long time, again and again, and totally ignored her complaints. So she'll feel that's more than enough reason to get divorced.

 

She *could* have met someone else, but don't flatter yourself that it's the only rational explanation. I would definitely hire a PI just for your own peace of mind though, and because there is *always* a >0% chance of infidelity when divorce is mentioned.

[mental_traveller]

Knowing she's cheating is worthless. Who cares what her reason is.

 

Knowing she's cheating means he needs a full STD check, and that she was a dishonest liar who he will never trust her again. Knowing she wasn't cheating means he was probably at fault, she is probably a decent person, and if he wants he can potentially try to rescue the marriage they had.

 

That's a huge difference.

[mental_traveller]

At this point I assume she's either cheating or she is totally psycho bipolar with limited reasoning abilities...

 

This says to me that you have a very patronizing attitude to your wife. The total dismissal of any possibility that you might be at fault in any way - either she is cheating, or she's just a dumb broad. Couldn't possibly be that she might have a legitimate complaint, oh no!

 

Seriously, if you don't see how bad this looks, it's no wonder she is leaving you.

[sumdude]

This says to me that you have a very patronizing attitude to your wife. The total dismissal of any possibility that you might be at fault in any way - either she is cheating, or she's just a dumb broad. Couldn't possibly be that she might have a legitimate complaint, oh no!

 

Seriously, if you don't see how bad this looks, it's no wonder she is leaving you.

 

Considering the shock and anger with all the other emotions he's going through right now I'd consider cutting a bit of slack...