*Spinoff* Lying about age

[Bells]

OKay, we had a thread about weight....but what about singles lying about their age?

 

I KNOW BOTH men and women do this.

 

It's funny, I'd see the "age" show up as, say 35, and then IN the write-up of the profile....you see her explain her REAL age.

 

"I am actually 45, but people tell me I look younger for my age"

 

They seem to "get off" on the fact they LOOK young for their age, and they rationalize circumventing the search engine so when men do a search in ther age range that THEY can show up when y ounger men do a search (and women)

 

Now, I have to say these women ARE rather fit and attractive as well or just active, too.

 

They have said that they prefer younger men, because men THEIR age tend to less active as they get older, and there are some women, and it's difficult for them to find a biking or kayaking partner at the age of 45.

 

I guess we men turn into couch potatoes at 40 or something, LOL

 

But women seem to rationalize lying about their age in their profile.

 

It's weird...there's this 50 year old gorgeous brunette woman I have seen online. Gorgeous smile....very good posture (carries herself well) seems very "chipper" If you were not to see her age, you'd guess her to be about 10 years younger.

 

A lot of older women slouch or seem to look "ragged" or have dark circles under their eyes through years of a rough life or something.

 

I saw this other woman that actually added to her profile about younger men contacting her.

 

"Hi, guys, I'm sorry, but I don't date anyone under the age of 45, and I'm not a MILF! I'm very flattered that you are interested, but I just don't have anything in common with men under that age"

 

She had a spiel about all these younger men contacting her, it was a shame, because she did look young for her age. lol I refer to it as the "Dick Clark" gene....lol.

 

Some women are funny about that, they think us younger men are "coo coo" for wanting to date them. They're like "These guys are NUTS, I'm old enough to be their aunt!"

 

I contacted a woman in her mid 40's...I'm late 30's, and she actually assumed that I just wanted to have sex with an older woman.

 

She says, "I'm sorry, but I don't date younger men, because typically they date older women for ONE thing" She just assumed that about younger men. And honestley, it's funny because she falls within my dating age range. I'm finding late 40's women appealing now that I'm older.

 

Other women, don't seem to mind at all.

 

 

 

But when men do it, it's (my opinion) they just happen to like younger "babes", nothing more , nothing less. lol

[samspade]

But women seem to rationalize lying about their age in their profile.

 

Women can rationalize anything.

 

Lying about age shows lack of confidence in who you are, male or female.

 

This is why I don't do online dating. There's too much of a "sales job" involved in the profile, including in photographs. I'm much better at attracting someone in person with my wits and confidence. When you look at someone's online profile, you are looking through a soda straw.

 

She says, "I'm sorry, but I don't date younger men, because typically they date older women for ONE thing"

 

This is another reason I don't do the online thing. People are too eager to dismiss mates based on criteria like this. While I think having standards and dealbreakers are a good thing, it's much easier to overcome something like this if you approach people in the real world. Think about all the women out there who say of their boyfriends things like, "He's younger than me, but..." or "I wouldn't normally date a bald guy, but..." A lot of dealbreakers are negotiable if someone is attracted to you.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

They "get off" on looking younger? How dare they! How dare they feel good about themselves or try to put their best face forward! Have you sent them an email yet, to put them in their place?

 

So the woman in her 40's told you that she thought younger men only wanted to date her for sex. Well, there have been numerous threads on LS written by men who say that older women are only good for sex. Why shouldn't she protect herself?

 

As for your question, I think I know what you are talking about. People put a false age in their profile so that when men (or women) type in an age range, their profile will pull up. They feel they may never be found otherwise.

 

This happened to me at least once when I tried online dating. It was a guy. He sent me a message and told me flat out that he was 48, but he didn't want to miss out on a chance to meet me since I had put the top age at 45. He was pretty funny, and quite honestly, I valued his chutzpah. The major point for me was that he was honest about his real age RIGHT AWAY.

 

I can see how this would bug people, but I do kind of understand it, as long as they are honest right away, like this guy was. The bottom line is that there is a lot of lying going on with online dating and you really have to be careful.

[Bells]

They "get off" on looking younger? How dare they! How dare they feel good about themselves or try to put their best face forward!

 

Sure they can feel good about it, put their best face forward, but why lie about it? I guess you put your "best face forward" by lying about your age in a dating profile? LOL. (Don't tell me you do this. )

 

Well, they can get off on looking younger, but I'm more focused on the way the rationalize circumventing the search engine

 

Plus having to say in the profile that "I look young for my age" or "My friends tell me I look young for my age" seems to be a hint of arrogance there. A little too into themselves. They aren't humble about it.

 

Heck, I'd like the fact if I was blessed with "Young looking" genes, but wouldn't write it in a profile. Esp if it's to lie to the search engines about it.

 

 

 

So the woman in her 40's told you that she thought younger men only wanted to date her for sex. Well, there have been numerous threads on LS written by men who say that older women are only good for sex. Why shouldn't she protect herself?

 

 

Yeah, but she's cutting her nose off to spite her face, throwing the baby out with the bathwater, etc, etc.

[Bells]

This is another reason I don't do the online thing. People are too eager to dismiss mates based on criteria like this. While I think having standards and dealbreakers are a good thing, it's much easier to overcome something like this if you approach people in the real world. Think about all the women out there who say of their boyfriends things like, "He's younger than me, but..." or "I wouldn't normally date a bald guy, but..." A lot of dealbreakers are negotiable if someone is attracted to you.

 

Right.....but with the online women, you get the , "I know what I want and I won't settle!" Even if she's 5'0", (true story) she had a profile that said, "Must be 6'2" to ride THIS ride)...and like I said she's only a tiney 5'0". lol

 

 

It's funny, because there are SOME real life women that will disregard a guy wether it's online dating or not.

 

I had this older female friend that told me she hangs out with a couple of 30 something her age...and I mentioned, "Maybe you could introduce me?"

 

And she goes, "Nah, they only date guys 6 feet or taller" (They were 5'8 and 5'9...I'm 5'9")

[samspade]

Right.....but with the online women, you get the , "I know what I want and I won't settle!" Even if she's 5'0", (true story) she had a profile that said, "Must be 6'2" to ride THIS ride)...and like I said she's only a tiney 5'0". lol

 

People like this then blame the opposite sex for being too picky and superficial when they can't get any dates.

 

I myself prefer dark skin and dark hair. But that doesn't mean I'd rule out a blond on that reason alone. If I met a cool blond at a party who caught my fancy, I wouldn't hesitate to ask her out because of her hair color or skin color or whatever.

 

So the woman in her 40's told you that she thought younger men only wanted to date her for sex. Well, there have been numerous threads on LS written by men who say that older women are only good for sex. Why shouldn't she protect herself?

 

She has every right to protect herself, but when you stereotype someone based on his age, you are reducing your options. It's her prerogative, but picky people shouldn't complain about lack of options. A lot of single women in their 30s might "only" want to date for eventual marriage and procreation (which isn't my priority), but I'm not going to 86 an entire segment of the female population based on that generalization.

[Bells]

People like this then blame the opposite sex for being too picky and superficial when they can't get any dates.

 

You mean, the one that requires the 6'2" guy? You're saying people like her blame the opposite sex for being picky?

[Jersey Shortie]

They "get off" on looking younger? How dare they! How dare they feel good about themselves or try to put their best face forward!

 

 

I don't advocate lying but I think most people do lie about something to a potential mate. Or fudge a little on their profiles to make themselves seem more interesting. Men and women. Not just about age, not just about weight.

 

With that said, I had a few men contact me saying the were of a certain age, saw a picture of them and had to re-ask them how old they were. To which I told them that they were out of my age bracket and it was like that for a reason. Of course they would come back saying they were "young at heart" and I would tell them I am sure they were but what does that have to do with my choice?

[Cherry Blossom 35]

Sure they can feel good about it, put their best face forward, but why lie about it? I guess you put your "best face forward" by lying about your age in a dating profile? LOL. (Don't tell me you do this. )

 

 

No, I don't lie about my age, i don't need to. I am proud of being 36, and the life I have lived thus far. When I'm 46 I will say the same thing.

 

What I was talking about when I said "best face forward" was the fact that some people say they look young for their age. I was NOT talking about lying. Sorry for the confusion. I don't advocate lying.

 

I don't think it is arrogant at all to say you look young for your age. I don't know why so many people on LS seem to feel so offended by this statement.

A lot of people DO look young for their ages. Good for them.

 

Ya gotta work whatcha got!

[Cherry Blossom 35]

And no, I don't do online dating. I tried it, went on 4 dates, and decided that was enough. I would rather meet people IRL.

 

It does work for some people though. I think if people want to online date they should mix that up with meeting people "live". Don't rely solely on the computer to meet mates.

 

My 2 cents.

[samspade]

You mean, the one that requires the 6'2" guy? You're saying people like her blame the opposite sex for being picky?

 

Some people do. Maybe not her, I don't know her. But people with a laundry list of criteria for a mate often cast such aspersions on others not realizing they are eliminating many, many potential partners without even saying hello.

 

Let me put it this way. I'm 5'9", and a girl I dated for a long while told me "I usually date taller men." I could tell she was playfully testing me so I just shrugged it off with a joke, because I wasn't planning on going through a growth spurt for her. What did I care what kind of men she "usually" dates when she's shagging me? In fact, before we dated she knew of my affinity for tawnier women, though that didn't stop me from dating her in all of her pasty whiteness. We were attracted to each other and like each other, in spite of our preferences.

[MariaIngemansson]

I think its quite okay to lie about age.

I mean.., when we put hair gel , or make up and stuff..., we lie about our appearance! So..i dont see the "big thing" in lying about age

 

Thats my Swedish view, ha ha ha....

[You'reasian]

 

I don't advocate lying but I think most people do lie about something to a potential mate. Or fudge a little on their profiles to make themselves seem more interesting. Men and women. Not just about age, not just about weight.

 

 

That being said, I stopped using online dating years ago because it does nothing for me to talk myself up without having actually spent some time with the person so they can see me in 3-D and get a feel for what I'm about.

 

Meeting women spontaneously or even from other arrangements might be old school, but its been reliable for me

[Jersey Shortie]

I rather meet men that way myself You'reasian. But most of the time, the guys that ask me out are just not people it's going to work out with.

 

I think there is some weird vortex online that makes people more critical.

[pollywag]

Bells that's cool that you date women around your age and are open to love on both ends of the age spectrum, but some men in your age category and older are brainwashed into doing searches for the youngest women they could get their hands on. It's like kids in a candy store. So in order for these really attractive older ladies to get noticed by men even their own age, they have to say they are younger in the profile just to turn up in the search. It's not insecurities it's "direct marketing"

 

I saw a funny reality show the other day, one where a dating matchmaker has to match a millionaire man with a date. He was 45 and his criteria was women only under 32. He was very good looking and super rich owned some high end spa retreats. Anyway as it happens there was also a 41 yr old millionairess. He was completely against dating women over 31 and only wanted the very young girls, so the matchmaker threw a get together for all the women that she picked out for him in the 20's category and they were for the most part trashy not very interesting women, all these women responded to a call requesting "we need women to date a millionaire" and the types of women that showed up were simply put "disgusting". No class, no personality, completely fake looking with disgustingly grotesque out of shape breasts hanging out of a cheesy $15 spandex top, just rank! Claiming that they didn't feel they had to work for money and needed a man to support their lavish lifestyle! This is LA so you can imagine the types. But the ones he chose were not so bad, just flat when it came down to the sitting down and talking portion of the party.

 

So the matchmaker decided to let the millionaire talk to the millionairess. She had a lot of choices of men too a lot of them younger in their 30's a few good looking guys but mostly they were just really well put together men who weren't gorgeous. She was gorgeous, very sexy, articulate, SUPER cool looking great sense of style, funny, calm, everything you can imagine in a woman who has her own shet together and takes care of herself. She definitely made an impression on the millionaire BUT she was not allowed to let the man know how old she was. In the end and after talking to his first choices he started asking the matchmaker about the millionairess because she is the one he connected with the most, unbeknownst to him that she was way over "his ideal age range". But you could just see the connection between him and the millionaires you could see how engaged the two were in the conversation and each other ad the flirty laughter. There was none of that with the bimbettes he chose for himself first.

 

The two went on a date and completely hit it off and started seeing each other. He went in for what he was programmed to pick because of what dingat men like that think they need to have to be happy, which also coincidentally doesn't work or else he would not be turning to a matchmaker to find him a date, and he walked away with love where he least would have looked, in a woman his own age.

 

So sometimes women have to trick men into giving them a chance, because let's face it, men left up to their own devices will make choices based on superficialities and miss out on what could be something truly special.

 

I think women lie about their age in profiles to be considered in the search. It's not about being insecure it is about being given a fair chance since the perception by a lot of men is that women after 30 get old fat and let themselves go and the reality is that if we look on a dating site there are far more attractive women in the 35-55 category than there are men who truly keep up with their appearance in that age group yet the same men that don't care about their appearance demand to meet women under 30. They need a reality check even if it is just to let them see what is really out there and what their options are.

 

I tend to prefer that dingbatty men do end up with what they wish for, so that they can learn the hard way how stupid their choices are down the road. They much deserve a good life lesson.

 

The funny thing is that I see men who are now in their 30's 40's that used to be on a site several year ago. They are still on there looking and trying to get noticed with their ridiculous demands! Oh and with the exact same pictures they used 5 yrs ago. Pathetic!

[Jaytb]

Bells that's cool that you date women around your age and are open to love on both ends of the age spectrum, but some men in your age category and older are brainwashed into doing searches for the youngest women they could get their hands on. It's like kids in a candy store. So in order for these really attractive older ladies to get noticed by men even their own age, they have to say they are younger in the profile just to turn up in the search. It's not insecurities it's "direct marketing"

 

So should I lie about other stuff in my (hypothetical) dating profile so I can attract more women that otherwise wouldn't be attracted to me?

 

I saw a funny reality show the other day, one where a dating matchmaker has to match a millionaire man with a date. He was 45 and his criteria was women only under 32. He was very good looking and super rich owned some high end spa retreats. Anyway as it happens there was also a 41 yr old millionairess. He was completely against dating women over 31 and only wanted the very young girls, so the matchmaker threw a get together for all the women that she picked out for him in the 20's category and they were for the most part trashy not very interesting women, all these women responded to a call requesting "we need women to date a millionaire" and the types of women that showed up were simply put "disgusting". No class, no personality, completely fake looking with disgustingly grotesque out of shape breasts hanging out of a cheesy $15 spandex top, just rank! Claiming that they didn't feel they had to work for money and needed a man to support their lavish lifestyle! This is LA so you can imagine the types. But the ones he chose were not so bad, just flat when it came down to the sitting down and talking portion of the party.

 

So the matchmaker decided to let the millionaire talk to the millionairess. She had a lot of choices of men too a lot of them younger in their 30's a few good looking guys but mostly they were just really well put together men who weren't gorgeous. She was gorgeous, very sexy, articulate, SUPER cool looking great sense of style, funny, calm, everything you can imagine in a woman who has her own shet together and takes care of herself. She definitely made an impression on the millionaire BUT she was not allowed to let the man know how old she was. In the end and after talking to his first choices he started asking the matchmaker about the millionairess because she is the one he connected with the most, unbeknownst to him that she was way over "his ideal age range". But you could just see the connection between him and the millionaires you could see how engaged the two were in the conversation and each other ad the flirty laughter. There was none of that with the bimbettes he chose for himself first.

 

The two went on a date and completely hit it off and started seeing each other. He went in for what he was programmed to pick because of what dingat men like that think they need to have to be happy, which also coincidentally doesn't work or else he would not be turning to a matchmaker to find him a date, and he walked away with love where he least would have looked, in a woman his own age.

 

So sometimes women have to trick men into giving them a chance, because let's face it, men left up to their own devices will make choices based on superficialities and miss out on what could be something truly special.

 

I think women lie about their age in profiles to be considered in the search. It's not about being insecure it is about being given a fair chance since the perception by a lot of men is that women after 30 get old fat and let themselves go and the reality is that if we look on a dating site there are far more attractive women in the 35-55 category than there are men who truly keep up with their appearance in that age group yet the same men that don't care about their appearance demand to meet women under 30. They need a reality check even if it is just to let them see what is really out there and what their options are.

 

I tend to prefer that dingbatty men do end up with what they wish for, so that they can learn the hard way how stupid their choices are down the road. They much deserve a good life lesson.

 

The funny thing is that I see men who are now in their 30's 40's that used to be on a site several year ago. They are still on there looking and trying to get noticed with their ridiculous demands! Oh and with the exact same pictures they used 5 yrs ago. Pathetic!

The rest of your post sounds an awful lot like some women too. They seem to care about if you're 6 foot 2 and handsome and successful rather than having a good personality or other more important traits. So please don't characterize men as the only flawed individuals in this way. Plenty of men and women both have this problem.

[samspade]

It's not insecurities it's "direct marketing"

 

It's called a bait-and-switch, and it's pathetic, immature, and duplicitous.

 

So sometimes women have to trick men into giving them a chance, because let's face it, men left up to their own devices will make choices based on superficialities and miss out on what could be something truly special.

 

There is nothing special about a woman who has to use deceit to "trick" a guy into giving her a chance. A lack of honesty and confidence in one's self shows through in short time, at which point any man worth his salt would kick her sorry a$$ to the curb for lying. These women who lie about their 30-something age are the same ones who couldn't hoodwink a man to marry them in their 20s. They were bitter and desperate then as now, only they see their prospects drying up because QUALITY single men in their age group have no problem attracting women inside and outside their own age bracket.

 

It's not about being insecure it is about being given a fair chance since the perception by a lot of men is that women after 30 get old fat and let themselves go and the reality is that if we look on a dating site there are far more attractive women in the 35-55 category than there are men who truly keep up with their appearance in that age group yet the same men that don't care about their appearance demand to meet women under 30.

 

You can't prove that there are more attractive women at that age; it's completely subjective. And you're wrong, it IS about being insecure, otherwise they would embrace their age. And why on earth would a woman WANT to date a man with the perception that women over 30 are fat and unattractive?? If these hypothetical women are 35-55 are such an unbelievable f**king catch, why would they waste their time trying to lure in ignorant men? You really have zero logic if you believe this.

 

I tend to prefer that dingbatty men do end up with what they wish for, so that they can learn the hard way how stupid their choices are down the road. They much deserve a good life lesson.

 

A lot of men have learned the lesson that they can attract and date younger women and have fun doing it. So I guess you've got them there! Well done.

[pollywag]

So should I lie about other stuff in my (hypothetical) dating profile so I can attract more women that otherwise wouldn't be attracted to me?

 

 

 

Listen, it's online dating, do whatever your heart desires. Everyone else lies in desperation, so why not? It's not real to begin with so why would you expect reality online?

 

You want the truth? Go out and ask women out in real life, you can see what you get and there is no pussy footing around.

[pollywag]

 

There is nothing special about a woman who has to use deceit to "trick" a guy into giving her a chance..

 

 

Same answer as above, see above post by your's truly.

[samspade]

Listen, it's online dating, do whatever your heart desires. Everyone else lies in desperation, so why not? It's not real to begin with so why would you expect reality online?

 

You want the truth? Go out and ask women out in real life, you can see what you get and there is no pussy footing around.

 

That is what I do anyway. I'm with you there.

[2sunny]

when a guy is willing to lead a relationship with a lie - i am then unwilling to join into any relationship or dating with him.

 

do men think i won't notice that they are 5'8" when they say they are 6' tall? or that when they say they are 46 years old that i can't find out by doing quick research? you can find TONS of info on people, just after a short conversation with them you have enough to go hunting.

 

they are eliminated in my book if they have lied.

[Bells]

 

do men think i won't notice that they are 5'8" when they say they are 6' tall?

 

It all depends, I was wondering if a 5'0" woman would know the difference, because she's too short to tell?

[pollywag]

? If these hypothetical women are 35-55 are such an unbelievable f**king catch, why would they waste their time trying to lure in ignorant men? You really have zero logic if you believe this.

 

I am not saying they are an extraordinary catch, I am saying those women want a fair chance! Capiche?

 

 

Because a lot of the men that are online playing the online dating game, or men who seek matchmakers such as the man in my earlier example, are ignorant to how to find true love. They are looking for love with their weeiners, they may be good men with a lot of good to offer just misguided and lost. Let's face it women sometimes need to guide men in the right direction.

 

 

No skin off my back either way, but you'd think some of these eternal bachelor confused types would welcome a push in the right direction.

 

 

And if these men who only limit themselves to perfect youthful women are such great catches why are they even online to begin with trying to meet really young hot women? That's where the disconnect happens, dude you are online or seeking a matchmaker, what's with all the demands all of a sudden? Clearly you ain't all that otherwise you' would not need the "extra" help. So open your spectrum to women that will be realistically more interested in you and you might just find love.

[samspade]

No skin off my back either way, but you'd think some of these eternal bachelor confused types would welcome a push in the right direction.

 

YOU say they're confused. A lot of men are single by choice, or at least not willing to settle. In any case, a man who respects himself will not allow himself to be pushed in any direction by a woman. If you want a man you can push, have fun with him. A confident, independent man pursues the type of woman he wants, not the type that other women think he needs. A man who allows himself to be shamed by women and limit his prospects as a result is not a real man. He is henpecked.

 

And if these men who only limit themselves to perfect youthful women are such great catches why are they even online to begin with trying to meet really young hot women? That's where the disconnect happens, dude you are online or seeking a matchmaker, what's with all the demands all of a sudden? Clearly you ain't all that otherwise you' would not need the "extra" help. So open your spectrum to women that will be realistically more interested in you and you might just find love.

 

I didn't say anything about limiting one's self or making demands as a guy, other than that a guy (or a woman) should not tolerate dishonesty and deceit. A man should dictate his own personal guidelines, just like a woman should, and a man shouldn't lie on his profile any more than a woman should. Do you see the difference? I don't believe that simply because SOME men prefer younger women, that 30-something women should lie about their age. A) Their lie will be caught and will supersede whatever good qualities they possess, and B) These women should pursue men who are legitimately interested in them.

 

It is a waste of time to try to convince someone that what they find attractive is wrong, and lying to do it is completely counter-productive and sad. Let me put it this way: If I were to date online (which I don't do), and I saw an ad from a woman who said she wanted guys 35 and up, I would not waste one second trying to "guide" her by lying about my age to get a date out of her. If that is what she says she wants, more power to her. Imagine how stupid it would be if I dated and seduced her, only to reveal that I'm 33 - but hey, she needed to be pushed in the right direction, she just didn't know what was right for her. You think she'd agree? I'm willing to bet my a$$ would be taken out with the trash.

 

Bottom line: Let every individual pursue his/her own happiness; worry about your own and quit shaming them for theirs.

[Jersey Shortie]

A lot of men have learned the lesson that they can attract and date younger women and have fun doing it. So I guess you've got them there! Well done

.

 

Alot of women have learned they can attract taller men and have fun doing it.

 

 

I was wondering if a 5'0" woman would know the difference, because she's too short to tell?

 

I don't hit 5" and I can tell!