cowgirlup0777 Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 I have been married for 5 years, We have been together for 10. He was my first love, sexual partner, everything. We have had issues with his anger for our whole marraige, we talk about it and it stops for a while then ends up coming back to the same issues. I have told him time and time again that I will not live like this and he still continues to go back to his same issues. For me our sex life is terrible. I am not all that affectionate to him any more because I feel like I am being fake if I am. The flip side of all of my issues is that he doesn't act like we have any problems. To top it off, I have medical issues that he has helped me through and has prepared himself for all of the ones that will be upcoming. I am obviously unhappy in the marriage and I want to end it. I picture myself living alone and dating again and I get soo exited. I am so scared to hurt him and do not know what to do. I know that it is only a matter of time before our marriage ends but I am so afraid to pull the plug. I need help!!! Link to post Share on other sites
lostsoulmate Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 Do you have any children? If no, then you must be true to self. You have every right to be happy. From your post, it sounds like you have tried (short of going to MC) that you are unhappy in the relationship and why. 1. Make a decision 2. Stick with it 3. Don't look back. FYI-#1 is the hardest part. But as the old saying goes, the right thing is usually the hardest thing to do. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 Do you have any children? If no, then you must be true to self. You have every right to be happy. From your post, it sounds like you have tried (short of going to MC) that you are unhappy in the relationship and why. 1. Make a decision 2. Stick with it 3. Don't look back. FYI-#1 is the hardest part. But as the old saying goes, the right thing is usually the hardest thing to do. Good luck. Yeah it's cool to be a coward and bail on your family like your doing! LSM, ...When the problems can be easily fixed. and if you know what the problems are you can fix them before she leaves, she's gonna leave and right now needs medical help, very nice of her to go it alone when she could drop dead or something. Her husband has anger issues, i suggest getting his butt into anger mgmt. asap, and IC for you and MC for both. This relationship is salvagable. Link to post Share on other sites
Chessy02 Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 Lostsoulmate, I don't agree with your take on this. The marriage can be saved. You know the problem, then you both need to be honest and solve it. Who say marriage is easy. The next relationship is not going to be easy either. If he has been there for you through your medical issues and preparing himself for what is to come, why leave him because he is got anger problem? You say the sex is bad, that is workable. Probably he is saying the say about you with regard to sex. How do you know the sex is bad if he is your first love - girl there is nothing out there that you are fantasizing about. Link to post Share on other sites
Justanotherschmuck Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 Do you have any children? If no, then you must be true to self. You have every right to be happy. From your post, it sounds like you have tried (short of going to MC) that you are unhappy in the relationship and why. 1. Make a decision 2. Stick with it 3. Don't look back. FYI-#1 is the hardest part. But as the old saying goes, the right thing is usually the hardest thing to do. Good luck. Why are divorces sky high? Read this post. You have a RIGHT to be happy? Oh really? Well, where EXACTLY is that RIGHT given to someone. I'll slap you around, THAT makes me happy. Its my right. I'll gamble all our money away, I'm REAL happy shooting craps. It's my RIGHT. You have a DESIRE to be happy. You even may have a NEED to be happy. But a RIGHT? Please. Link to post Share on other sites
lostsoulmate Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." Direct quote from the Declaration of Independence. I consider that a "right!" Link to post Share on other sites
Shehe Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Your marriage will end if you want it to end. Everything is in your hands to make it happen either way. But you are taking the easy road. Marriage is hard work. It has ups and down, happy and not so happy stories but if you really want to save your relationship you do not give up. Here is an article about marital conflict that I recently read and I think it might help you out. Link to post Share on other sites
Justanotherschmuck Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." Direct quote from the Declaration of Independence. I consider that a "right!" I believe the KEY word is "Pursuit". And that pursuit DOES NOT include the right to make someone else MISERABLE so YOU can be happy. PURSUIT. Not the same thing. Link to post Share on other sites
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